


baby steps

by bapaldeul



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: College AU, Fluff, M/M, love and friendship - Freeform, self discovery, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 84,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12022998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: It was his own fault for thinking that he, Kang Daniel; someone who had nothing, could stand a chance with someone like Park Jihoon; who had everything.-Jihoon wasn’t sure when he started wishing for something else. But when he saw Daniel, with his hair still messy from the strong wind and his black jacket clinging onto his broad shoulders for dear life, Jihoon started to wish that the previous night meant something to them.





	1. beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for clicking on this story in the first place.  
> I hope you'll continue to join me on this journey of friendship, love and self discovery alongside our dear characters.

**(Jihoon)**

Clutching his books and files in his left hand and his luggage in the right, Jihoon waved one last goodbye to his mom before stepping out of the car. He was greeted with students swarming past him into the tall grey building before him. 

College. 

Jihoon never thought he would make it to college, much less being accepted into the course he had so yearned for. He was finally ready to chase the dreams he thought were impossible to reach a year ago. 

First, the dorms, he reminded himself before he got too caught up in his emotions again. He then took out his phone and began to flip through his phone for the dorm allocation email he got 3 days back.

**Dear Student,**  


**Do take note that you have been allocated to:**   


**Block E Room 16**   


**Should you have any trouble locating the location above, seniors will be situated in the auditorium to help you.**   


**Thank you and once again, congratulations on being accepted into Wanna Be College**   


After taking a closer look, Jihoon observed some students wearing lanyards who were hanging around the entrance of the school. They were probably the seniors mentioned in the email. As Jihoon walked into the auditorium of the school, he felt his jaw unconsciously drop at the sight of the beautiful murals on the walls surrounding a huge statue of a majestic tiger: the well known mascot of Wanna Be. He had seen the mascot on countless school games occasions and he had wished to finally be part of Wanna Be as many times.

“Hey, do you need any help finding your way around?” a low voice interrupted Jihoon’s train of thought and he dropped his phone out of shock. While rushing to bend down and pick it up, his file slid out from his other arm. 

Jihoon felt his face getting red. “I’m- I’m okay. Sorry, just let me pick this up.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! You just looked lost so i-“ the other boy picked up Jihoon’s file and handed it to him. Jihoon could now see the other boy better. He was definitely half a head taller than Jihoon, maybe more. He wore a black cap and a black pullover with blue jeans.

“It’s fine, really. I’m fine, thank you anyway,” Jihoon pretended to fiddle with his clothes as he avoided the curious stares from other students. Great, he probably looked like a big mess on his first day of school. He could almost hear them. “I feel bad for him.” Or maybe “It’s not the first day of college if someone doesn’t make a mess of themselves.”

“So are you?” the boy asked.

“Am I what?” Jihoon snapped. He didn’t mean to. He felt his body temperature rise as another group of students turned to look at him.

“I meant to ask if you were lost and needed my help. Looks like you don’t need it though. Sorry for bothering you in the first place,” the boy looked half hurt half mad that Jihoon would talk to him like that. He then turned and re-joined his group of friends who were watching nearby. 

Great, I fucked up. Jihoon cursed in his head. He considered apologizing and explaining himself then stopped. The boy wouldn’t really understand anyway, he would probably think Jihoon was overreacting. 

Blowing at his bangs, Jihoon looked around again for a sign to Block E. He soon found an arrow pointing in the direction he was supposed to walk to and went on his way. 

One small slip-up in the morning was not going to ruin his first day.

-

 

Jihoon heard laughing before he entered his room. Was that a good sign or not? Were his roomates already friends with each other in such a short span of time? He turned the knob and entered the room.

Two boys had their attention fixed on a video on one of their phones and were still laughing as Jihoon entered.

“Oh! Hello,” the boy with brown hair stood up first and greeted Jihoon with a smile. “I’m Daehwi!”

“Hi, I’m Jihoon,” he managed to smile back this time. 

The boy with black hair stood up as well. “I’m Jinyoung.”

“Jinyoung and I took the beds on this side,” Daehwi pointed to the left side of the room, where their bags were. “You can have the last bed.”

A single bed made neatly stood at the other end of the room. It looked comfortable enough to sleep in. “That’s great, thank you so much.”

“What course are you attending? No wait- let me guess. Judging by your choice of clothes you have to be in fashion design.” Daehwi narrowed his eyes and studied Jihoon’s clothes. 

Jihoon laughed both instinctively and in embarrassment, Daehwi was not the only one to point out his fashion so far. Overtime, Jihoon started to think of it as a good thing – something that made him stand out from others. 

“I’m actually in the creative writing course,” Jihoon couldn’t help but beam with pride. He had dreamed to tell others this for the longest time. 

“Ah!” Jinyoung clapped his hands together as if he had just been reminded of something. “You must be really good at it then, I heard this college only accepts 30 students into their course.”

Jihoon tried to hide his smile. “Yeah, I’m lucky to be here.” He was about to ask Jinyoung and Daehwi what they were studying but Daehwi cut in, saying, “Hey, you should put your stuff down. Do you want to come look around the school with us?”

“That would be awesome,” Jihoon said. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have made not just one, but two new friends in the span of 10 minutes. High school was never this kind to him.

“I heard there’s a after school activities fair taking place in the sports hall, let’s go check it out,” Daehwi didn’t wait for an answer and pulled both the boys out the door.

**(Daniel)**

“Everything okay back there?” Jisung asked, looking over Daniel’s shoulder at the boy he was just talking to. The boy glanced back at Daniel, then walked away silently, books and files overflowing from his skinny arms.

“Nothing much,” Daniel replied. “I offered my help and he decided to be rude about it.” Daniel frowned, he still couldn’t understand why the boy would snap at him like that. Was he mad about Daniel scaring him? Daniel apologized though. Was it not enough?

“Lighten up,” Jisung said as he gave Daniel’s shoulders a pat. “He was probably nervous. You know, first day of college things.” Daniel huffed, he wasn’t going to let a newbie ruin his day. 

“Jisung hyung! Daniel, Seongwoo, Woojin!” Daniel looked towards the familiar voice from across the auditorium. Minhyun and Jonghyun were walking towards them.

“Ready to party tonight?” Minhyun put his arm around Jisung. 

“The beginning of a new school year party, you guys are going to be there right?” Jonghyun asked. Minhyun and Jonghyun were constantly being put in charge of organising parties for the school, unofficial or not. 

“It depends. Is there going to be any drinks for us?” Jisung asked, mimicking the drinking action with his hands. The rest of them laughed, trust the oldest of the group to ask the important questions.

“Unofficially, no.” Jonghyun lowered his voice. “If you look for Dongho, he’ll probably have some stashed away. Don’t lose yourself there though. We’ll see you later then.”

Jonghyun and Minhyun said their goodbyes and left to recruit more people to come to their party tonight. As always, they were the social butterflies of this college.

“Well, I have to run and prepare to set up the booth for the theatre club. Don’t you guys have anything to do?” Jisung checked his watch and looked around.

“We have a performance at 3. You’ll be there to watch us, right hyung?” Woojin smiled, his snaggletooth showing. 

“Of course I will. The crowd will lead me to you,” Jisung winked and left to do his own things. 

The hall was starting to fill up as it neared 2:30pm. New faces were starting to appear. Boys and girls were looking around at the different booths advertising all the after school activities. Maybe they were looking for “hot” seniors, and maybe they were looking to make new friends. Daniel was glad he was over that part of college.

Seongwoo was his first friend in this intimidating school. Not by choice, Daniel liked to tease Seongwoo by saying that sometimes. They had been roomates since their first year. They both met Woojin in the dance club. It was hard to miss someone like Woojin. Although Daniel liked to think he was a good dancer, he knew he would never be able to match up to Woojin. He was only a year younger, but he shone the brightest when he was dancing. To Daniel and Seongwoo, dancing was a hobby, maybe a getaway. For Woojin, it was his home. 

“Take this, big guy,” Seongwoo shoved a stack of flyers handmade by their club into Daniel’s hands. “Go make yourself useful somewhere else.”

Daniel rolled his eyes but stood up and strolled around the hall while half-willingly handing out the flyers to the new students. Daniel found himself at the theatre club booth where Jisung was coaxing a group of girls to audition for the theatre club. He was sure he heard Jisung say something like “the best choice you could make” and laughed to himself. Jisung loved exaggerating sometimes. But he was likeable, so easy to get along with. As loud as he seemed to others, he had listened to Daniel’s deepest worries for the past two years, going three. 

“Niel, what are you doing here?” Jisung narrowed his eyes at the tall figure next to the booth. 

“I’m bored and hiding from Seongwoo. He’s making me give these out,” Daniel showed Jisung the flyers in his hand. 

“Have you ever thought that maybe doing just that would help to pass time?” Jisung asked, resting his arms on the booth table. Daniel was about to respond to Jisung’s snark comment when Jisung walked up to a group of three boys who had approached his club booth.

“Hi! Looking to join the theatre club? You can ask me anything, I’m sure all of you would fit right in. Oh? It’s you!” 

Daniel looked up as Jisung’s tone changed. 

The boy from that morning. The boy who snapped at him. The boy he scared the wits out of. 

It seemed Jisung had recognised him too, as he turned to look back at Daniel. The boy also looked up at Daniel, but the cold eyes from this morning were gone and they were replaced by curious ones. 

“It’s you,” Daniel managed to say. A wave would be too awkward, he told himself. The boy nodded at Daniel and turned back to Jisung who had started to explain more about theatre. If Daniel were him, he wouldn’t know what to do either. 

Timecheck: 2:50pm. He had to leave soon and prepare for his performance. He was about to leave when he felt someone tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, I’m um.. I’m really sorry for what happened this morning. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that. I really appreciate you asking me if I needed any help. I’m sorry, really,” the boy from that morning said. Upon closer look, Daniel observed that he had really long eyelashes. 

“It’s fine. Is your phone okay? I feel kinda bad for scaring you like that, it was my fault,” Daniel pointed to the phone the boy was holding in his hand.

“It’s alright,” Jihoon smiled and even held up his phone to Daniel to prove it. 

“Hyung! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! It’s starting soon, come on!” Woojin suddenly appeared through the crowd that had now formed around the center of the hall. Right, his performance.

“Jihoon! Let’s go, I’ve saved a seat for us over there,” a boy with brown hair grabbed Jihoon’s arm and led him away.

Jihoon. That was his name.


	2. thin walls

**(Jihoon)**

Daniel was really good at dancing. Who am I kidding, Jihoon laughed to himself. Of course he was a good dancer, he was in the dance club. Jihoon felt as if a stone had been lifted from on top of him when he apologized to Daniel back there.

Jihoon cheered with the crowd as Daniel and the 2 friends he had seen with him earlier completed their performance. They bowed once as Daniel’s friend, the taller one of the two said, “Thank you and do sign up for auditions at our booth if you’re interested in joining us!” They then returned to their booth and the crowd started to scatter.

“Our Niel is really great at dancing right?” Jihoon looked up from his seat and found Jisung standing next to him, waving to Daniel and his friends.

“Ah, yes he is,” Jihoon nodded in agreement. He hadn’t noticed Jisung there until he started talking. “Are you interested in joining them?”

“I don’t really dance,” Jihoon laughed. “I’m actually studying creative writing here. I don’t think I fit in there anyway.”

“You are?’ Jisung’s eyes grew wide. “I know just the person for you to talk to! Come here,” Jisung grabbed Jihoon’s arms and started to lead him away.

“You two kids!” JIsung shouted back at Daehwi and Jinyoung, beckoning for them to follow him, “Keep up!”

Jihoon gasped and quickly bowed when Jisung brought him to a familiar tall figure that he had already recognized from afar. Jihoon had spent many hours in the comfort of his bedroom reading the stories that this person had put online. You could probably say Jihoon looked up to him as someone who knew how to write stories that kept him glued to his screen for hours. Seeing him in person was overwhelming for Jihoon, he felt as if he was being judged by the God of creative writing.

“Minhyun, I think you should talk to Jihoon. He’s in the new batch of creative writing students,” Jisung introduced Jihoon to Minhyun who was talking to four other students.

“Hello…” Jihoon couldn’t help but stutter as he looked the one and only Hwang Minhyun in the eyes. “My name is Park Jihoon. I really enjoy your stories!” Minhyun’s cold exterior disappeared as soon as Jihoon mentioned his stories.

“Really? Thank you so much. You must be not bad yourself, to be accepted into this course. I suppose we’ll be seeing each other a lot now?” Minhyun smiled and held out his hand. Jihoon gratefully accepted it.

“I’ll try my best,” Jihoon felt himself getting red again. 

“Since Jisung introduced you to me, I expect lots from you,” Minhyun said but Jihoon could tell he said it in a light-hearted manner. 

“Don’t pressure the kid,” Jisung hit Minhyun jokingly on his chest. 

“You should come to the party tonight,” Minhyun suggested to Jihoon whose attention had started to drift to somewhere else. “It starts at 8pm. If you and your friends need drinks, you can look for me or Jisung.” Jihoon couldn’t believe he was actually being invited to a party by the all-mighty Hwang Minhyun. Did he just use up all his luck for this semester? 

“We’ll be there for sure,” Jihoon quickly accepted his offer. Minhyun nodded with his signature smile and left to talk to his friends again.

“I’ll see you tonight too!” Jisung gave Jihoon’s shoulder a pat before zooming off to recruit more students into the theater club. 

Jihoon felt his phone buzzing in his hand and his heart skipped a beat as he glanced at his phone screen. He looked around for Daehwi and Jinyoung who were talking to some people at the dance club booth. 

“I’ll take a quick call, catch up with you guys later!” Jihoon told his friends and Jinyoung gave him a thumbs up. Turing a bit too quickly out of excitement, he bumped against the arm of someone walking past.

“Hey, be careful there,” Daniel held both his hands out to stabilize Jihoon before he could fall. 

“I’m sorry! Oh, hey. You did really great back there, by the way!” Jihoon felt his phone stop buzzing in his hand. 

“Thank you, Jihoon,” Daniel took his hands off Jihoon. Jihoon was surprised to hear his name come out of Daniel’s mouth. He had probably heard Daehwi call for him earlier on.

“I still feel bad for scaring you this morning. Can I make up for it, buy you a drink or something? Will you be coming to the party later at night?” When Daniel spoke fast, Jihoon could hear his accent coming out naturally.

“I’ll be there. I owe you too,” Jihoon said. The phone call, he suddenly remembered. “I have to take a call, I’ll see you later I guess?”

Before Daniel could answer, Jihoon sped off to find a private area to take his special call from home. 

 

-

“Hey,” Jihoon said as soon as he heard the receiver pick up.

“Hey back. Did I get you at a bad time?” the voice at the other end asked. Jihoon fished out his dorm keys from his pocket and struggled to hold the phone to his ear and unlock the door at the same time.

“I made time for you. How are you?” Jihoon smiled although the other couldn’t see him. The door miraculously unlocked and Jihoon immediately plopped onto his bed.

“I’m good. I miss you though.”

“I missed you too, Guanlin. It feels weird being in school without you.”

“Good weird or bad weird?” Guanlin teased Jihoon.

“Both. What about you? Did you make any new friends? Are the people in your school nice?” 

Jihoon couldn’t help but ask so many questions. He was curious to know how Guanlin was doing. It was a lie to say he wasn’t worried for his boyfriend. He transferred to Jihoon’s at the beginning of last year from Taiwan. At first, Guanlin struggled to communicate with others because of the language barrier. Jihoon felt bad for him and volunteered to help him catch up with his work but little did he know Guanlin was a genius. As soon as he grasped the Korean language, he caught up with work in other subjects and came out as top student every examination after that. Guanlin decided to pursue a science course in another college.

“My roommates are a little noisy,” Guanlin laughed. Oh, how Jihoon missed his laughter. “But I’m doing okay. You really don’t have to worry.”

“Okay, I won’t worry.” Jihoon felt himself relax as soon as he knew Guanlin was coping well.

“I’m more worried about you though. Has anyone hit on you yet? You have to tell me if anyone does. I’ll come over right away.” Jihoon could actually see Guanlin frowning as he said this.

“Guanlin, you’re ridiculous.”

“You’re right. Keep on dressing the way you normally do, then I’ll rest assured no one will take you away from me,” Guanlin laughed and Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“You love the way I dress though,” Jihoon whined, playing with the bedsheets in his hands.

“I do,” Guanlin sighed. “What should I do? I’m so whipped for you, Park Jihoon.”

“So am I.”

 

Oh, how close home could feel with a single phone call.

 

**(Daniel)**

Before Daniel could reply, Jihoon had ran off, leaving his two friends talking to Woojin at the dance club booth. 

“Gone with the wind,” Daniel said to himself.

“Who?” Seongwoo passed another stack of flyers back to Daniel as he came up behind him. “The boy from this morning? Did you make up with him?”

“Kind of?” Daniel shrugged and pushed the flyers away. “Don’t make me give out any more flyers. Please. I do enough of that outside school.”

Seongwoo grinned but took the flyers back from Daniel. “Are you working tonight?”

Daniel nodded, “Convenience store. I’ll be at the party around 9 though. I should get going, my manager is going to kill me if I’m late again. Save me some drinks.”

Seongwoo gave Daniel an “Okay” sign before he walked away. As annoying as Seongwoo could be sometimes, Daniel couldn’t ask for a better friend than Seongwoo. He cared, but not too much until Daniel felt he was intruding. Seongwoo was the type to watch from the sidelines and help Daniel silently. He never expected anything in return. Sometimes when Daniel got back late from work, he would find a can of beer in the fridge with the note: “You can have this one”. Daniel knew how sensitive Seongwoo could be about others touching his stuff, so it meant a lot to Daniel.

Back at the dorms, Daniel got ready to enter his room to change into his work clothes when he saw Jihoon stuggling to open his door. He was attempting to hold his phone between his shoulder and his ear. Daniel stepped forward to help Jihoon but at that moment, Jihoon’s door opened and he was gone again. 

Daniel could have sworn he’d never seen such a bright smile on Jihoon’s face. 

-

The music was so loud, Daniel could hear it even before he reached the school. Minhyun overdid it again, Daniel thought to himself. Parking his motorcycle in the carpark, Daniel was tempted to walk back to the dorms and crash for the night. He had dealt with enough people for the day. 

Right, I promised to buy Jihoon a drink. Daniel sighed and decided to change and get to the party before he could change his mind again. 

Daniel saw Seongwoo first. He stood out too much, with his tall and lanky body frame. Seongwoo spotted Daniel as well, and gestured to the back of the hall as a greeting. Daniel guessed Seongwoo was talking about the drinks he had saved for him.

“Hey hyung,” Daniel leaned over the “bar” counter where Minhyun was. The drinks on the shelves were your typical sodas, fruit juices. You had to know who to go to if you were looking for other selections.

“Daniel, you’re pretty late aren’t you?” Minhyun asked, reaching under the bar counter to hand Daniel a can of beer. “Jihoon actually asked me where you were. Did you promise him a drink?”

“Something like that. Did he leave already?” Daniel asked, looking around but he didn’t see Jihoon anywhere. Jihoon looked like the type of boy to sleep before 11.

“I saw him 10 minutes ago with his two other friends. He should be around here somewhere.”

“Alright, thanks.” Daniel stood up to leave and look for Jihoon.

“Daniel?” Minhyun called for him.

“Yeah?” Daniel looked back.

“Take care of him okay? It’s getting a bit wild out there.”

Daniel spotted Jihoon in an eye-catching red hoodie with his two friends like Minhyun said he would be. Woojin was talking to them as well.

“Hey Jihoon, Woojin,” Daniel greeted them as he joined their small circle. 

“Hi hyung, uh this is Daehwi,” Woojin pointed to Jihoon’s friend with brown hair. “This is Jinyoung.” 

“You can call me Daniel. Sorry I couldn’t say hi earlier on.”

Daehwi and Jinyoung said hi back, they were so small, Daniel observed, even shorter than Jihoon. He tapped Jihoon’s shoulder, saying, “I owe you something, don’t I?”

Jihoon smiled back. “You do. Daehwi, I’m going to hang out with Daniel for a bit.” Daehwi nodded before turning back to talk to Jinyoung and Woojin.

Daniel tried to lead Jihoon towards the tables at the back of the hall through the crowd of dancing students in the middle. He could tell that Jihoon was visibly uncomfortable with people trying to get him to join them, and instinctively put his right arm around Jihoon to protect him. Minhyun was right, Daniel could identify some people in the crowd that probably had too much to drink. Daniel quickly made his way out of the crowd and they found an empty table.

“Do you drink?” Daniel asked.

“Not really,” Jihoon bit his lower lip. Out of embarrassment? 

“That’s fine!” Daniel quickly assured him. “Is Coke okay then?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jihoon said and Daniel left to get his drink.

When Daniel got back, Jihoon was on his phone, typing away. He quickly turned it off when he saw Daniel coming back with his drink.

“You talking to someone?” Daniel asked.

“Not really, it’s fine,” Jihoon shook his head and took a sip of his coke. 

“So, creative writing huh?” Daniel took a gulp of his beer as well. Jihoon smiled, then nodded. 

“It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time,” Jihoon explained. Daniel didn’t know much about writing really, he knew Minhyun was studying that as well, but was never really interested in what he did there. One thing he knew was that it was a highly-raved course, Jihoon was probably really good at what he did to get in. Was asking him about what he wrote about too personal for the first meeting? 

“What about you? What do you study? This is your third year right?” Jihoon asked.

“It’s a generic business course. Not as interesting as yours. I just took it because they said it would be good for my future,” Daniel said. He probably sounded boring to someone as passionate as Jihoon. He couldn’t help it though, his passion burnt out a few years ago.

“Are you excited though? First day of school tomorrow and all,” Daniel said, hoping to change the subject. "Everyone hates school."

“For sure. Honestly, I’m scared too. College is just another version of high school, isn’t it?” Jihoon laughed. “School sucks, but I want learn and do something with my life. I’ve been given the opportunity of my life, I’m not going to let the mentality of hating school bring me down.”

Daniel would never have guessed that morning that Jihoon was such a passionate person. He was constantly surprising Daniel in so many different aspects. Suddenly, he felt inferior. It made him question himself.

“So, where were you? You seem like a party animal. I thought you’d be here from the start to the end,” Jihoon started to play around with his hoodie sleeves.

Just tell him you were working. It’s not a big deal. Literally no one thinks it’s a big deal.

“Daniel? Are you there?” Jihoon waved his hand in front of Daniel.

“Oh! Yeah, I was just out running some errands,” Daniel said. He gulped down another mouthful of beer, hoping Jihoon couldn’t tell it was a lie.

“I thought you were drunk after one can of beer,” Jihoon joked. 

Before Daniel could reply, he heard glass shatter from down the hall and people starting to scream. He saw Minhyun running to the scene out of the corner of his eye. Jihoon’s attention was also diverted to the screaming. Daniel stood up, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was happening but the crowd was blocking his view. He saw Jisung trying to get past the crowd and into the middle.

“That’s not good. Do you want to leave? It’s getting dangerous here, I’ll walk you back to your room,” Daniel told Jihoon and he nodded. Daniel led Jihoon out the back door and left the hall before things could get uglier.

“Sorry your first college party had to be ruined like that, at least you can have an early night before school tomorrow,” Daniel said when they were at Jihoon’s front door.

“That’s okay. I hope no one got hurt back there though,” Jihoon said, frowning.

“I’m heading back to check. You should get to sleep, you have a busy day tomorrow,” Daniel suggested. Just then, Jihoon’s phone started to ring.

“Alright, just be careful back there,” Jihoon said before picking up his phone and returning to his room, closing the door behind him.

 

“Hey, I just got back to my room. I miss you.” 

 

Daniel had no idea why, but he started to resent the thin walls of their dorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tadah! this is where guanlin comes into the story :)


	3. where it began

**(Daniel)**

Students were already starting to leave the hall when Daniel got back. A loud chatter filled the hallway as the students exclaimed about what just happened, some still holding their drinks in their hands. Daniel pushed past the crowd to the entrance of the hall, where Minhyun was conducting checks on student’s phones before allowing them to leave.

“Delete this,” Minhyun said after scrolling through a girl’s phone. She scowled as she reluctantly deleted the file on her phone and Minhyun allowed her to leave. If Minhyun had decided to control the pictures and videos the students had taken, the situation could have been worse than he had imagined to be. Minhyun nodded his head in the direction of the hall where he saw Jisung folding his arms. Sighing, he braced himself for what was to come.

“What the fuck happened here?” Daniel couldn’t help but exclaim as he walked closer to the figure sitting on the ground. 

Seongwoo.

“Are you crazy? What the fuck? Did you get into a fight?” Daniel grabbed Seongwoo’s shoulder. Seongwoo looked up at him. His eyes were hazy and it took him three seconds to register Daniel’s confused face looking down at him. His right eye was a dark purple and dried up blood remained on his lip.

A few meters away sat another boy, a dark purple bruise on his chin as well. After taking a closer look, Daniel recognized him as Kwon Hyunbin, one of the soccer players in their school team. Before anyone could stop him, Daniel marched over to Hyunbin and grabbed him by the collar.

“Daniel! I hardly think this is the right time for you to be acting like this,” Jisung shouted as he pushed Daniel away. Daniel was boiling, but when Jisung called him by his full name, he knew Jisung wasn’t playing around. He let go of Hyunbin’s collar and he slumped back onto the ground. 

As Minhyun checked the phones of the last few students, he closed the door and approached their group. Daniel noticed that Daehwi and Jinyoung were still standing at the back with Woojin.

“Woojin, you should return to your dorm first. Daehwi, Jinyoung, you guys too. You have school tomorrow,” Jisung said, giving Woojin a reassuring pat on his shoulder. The three nodded and left, still wearing worried looks on their faces. 

Minhyun waited for the three to leave before talking. “I tried my best to stop any news of this from spreading. If anyone out there talks and word gets out to the higher ups it’s not on me if Seongwoo or Hyunbin get affected.” He talked directly to Jisung and Daniel because Seongwoo and Hyunbin were obviously too drunk to register anything now. 

“Daniel, I think you should take Seongwoo back and Jisung hyung you should take Hyunbin back. I’ll clean up the place with Jonghyun and the others,” Minhyun said. Daniel nodded, and helped Seongwoo up. Minhyun didn’t look like he was open for any objection to his instructions.

-

Groaning loudly, Daniel half-threw Seongwoo onto his bed. 

“Ow! Asshole,” Seongwoo grunted. 

“You should be thanking me for helping you back here. What happened back there?” Daniel asked as he picked up a clean shirt from his drawer and prepared to jump into the shower.

“I don’t know, I can’t remember,” Seongwoo started to whine. “Everywhere hurrrttsss.”

“At least you hit him good back there,” Daniel rolled his eyes. Trying to get any information out of Seongwoo when he was drunk was pointless. 

“Did I? Give me a hi-five. You told me not to go down without a fight! Come here, Daniel! Give me a hi-five!” Seongwoo had his signature stupid grin on his face. Daniel couldn’t figure out how Seongwoo could get 10 times more annoying than he already was when he was drunk. “Don’t leave me hanging, buddy.” Seongwoo was still holding his palm out to Daniel.

“Idiot,” Daniel couldn’t help but smile to himself and stretched his arm across to hi-five Seongwoo. Right after that, Seongwoo slumped and fell back to sleep. Daniel shook his head in amusement and went to take a shower.

**(Jihoon)**

“Wakey wakey if you don’t want to be late on your first day!” If the blazing sunlight wasn’t enough to wake Jihoon up, then maybe Daehwi’s shrill voice would do the trick. Stretching and grabbing his phone that was charging on his side table, Jihoon was greeted by a text that immediately made him smile just from the name of the sender.

**From: Guanlin**

**Have a good first day, Park Jihoon ♡**

 

Jihoon couldn’t help but blush as he typed a reply. What a good start to his first day.

“Dibs on the toilet!” Jinyoung yelled as he ran across the room into the bathroom and locked the door seconds before Daehwi ran into it. 

“Bae Jinyoung! I’ll kill you!” Daehwi yelled, but even Jihoon knew Daehwi’s threats were harmless. 

After 45 minutes of struggling to balance both Daehwi arguing with Jinyoung and packing the books he needed for lessons that day, Jihoon was finally out of the dorms and walking to his first class of the day. As he made a left turn at the corner, he caught sight of Daniel and his friends walking ahead of him. 

“Hey,” Jihoon greeted when he caught up to them. 

“Jihoon! Hey, did you get back safe last night?” Jisung beamed when he saw Jihoon. It warmed Jihoon’s heart whenever he saw how genuinely happy Jisung looked whenever he talked to Jihoon. 

“I did, thanks to Daniel,” Jihoon smiled at Daniel gratefully. 

“It’s just you today?” Woojin asked, looking behind for Daehwi and Jinyoung probably.

“They left to another class, it’s just me,” Jihoon replied. 

“Sure you don’t need Daniel to show you where your class is?” Seongwoo joked and everyone played along.

“No, I’m fine- Oh, your face.. are you okay?” Jihoon looked at Seongwoo and saw the big bruise on his eye and a band aid on his forehead. Jihoon didn’t want to jump to conclusions but he assumed Seongwoo was involved in whatever happened at the party yesterday.

“No biggie,” Seongwoo said, waving his hand at Jihoon, attempting to brush him off.

“Well, have fun in class,” Jisung said as they reached their lecture hall. Jihoon waved goodbye to all of them and quickened his pace to get good seats at his first lesson. His first class was a combined with all the students from his course, from the new year 1s to the year 3s. Half hoping he would see Minhyun in the lecture hall, Jihoon entered his new class and chose a seat where he could have a good view of the screen. 

Students started to flock into the lecture hall during the next 5 minutes. Jihoon saw Minhyun entering with his group of friends and couldn’t help but fanboy inside when Minhyun smiled at him. He acknowledged Jihoon’s existence! Jihoon had to tell Guanlin about this. Before he could take out his phone, the professor cleared his throat and the class was silent. 

“Welcome to the first class of your new year in Wanna Be College. Congratulations on getting into our creative writing course, get ready to let your imagination run wild.”

-

Jihoon felt like flying when he walked out of the lecture hall. Unlike the others who were complaining about assignments being given out on the first day, he could hardly wait to get started. He would have started his research in the library right away if he hadn’t arranged to meet Daehwi and Jinyoung for lunch. 

Jihoon checked his phone for any new text messages. He had one from Daehwi, saying they were already waiting for him in the cafeteria. None from Guanlin, he was probably busy in class anyway.

“Jihoon!” Daehwi called out his name as soon as he stepped into the cafeteria. It was a madhouse, there were students everywhere trying to get a seat. He silently thanked his guardian angels for blessing him with Daehwi and Jinyoung yet again.

“How was your first class?” Daehwi asked when Jihoon sat down.

“Amazing,” Jihoon told the truth.

“I thought so,” Daehwi agreed. 

“What about you guys?” Jihoon found out that Daehwi and Jinyoung were studying child psychology the day before. You guys can barely take care of yourselves, Jihoon joked when he found out.

“It was great!” Daehwi said in between mouthfuls of his sandwich. Jinyoung shook his head, refusing to say a word. Jihoon sensed a tension between the two of his friends.

“Did the both of you fight? Is it still about the bathroom this morning? I said we should take turns everyday so all of us get an equal chance-“ Jihoon attempted to play peacemaker again. 

“Jinyoung’s mad because I called our professor hot,” Daehwi revealed. Jinyoung met eyes with Jihoon and shook his head in disagreement again. “Isn’t that against some kind of rule a school has?” Jinyoung argued, still not looking at Daehwi.

Daehwi rolled his eyes. “I never said I was going to date him. I just said he was hot, what’s wrong with you?” 

As much as Jihoon tried to stay on the conversation with the both of them, his focus shifted when he saw his phone screen light up, signalling a new text message. 

**From: Guanlin**  
**I just got out of class. What are you doing?**

**To: Guanlin**  
**Thinking of you?**

**From: Guanlin**  
**Me too.**

Jihoon claimed to hate cheesy lines, but he felt like his heart was going to burst whenever he got a text like this from Guanlin. He tried to suck his cheeks in to hide his smile.

“Park Jihoon stop texting your boyfriend and listen to the nonsense that Bae Jinyoung is spewing right now. He says it’s illegal to literally think your professor is slightly better looking than the average population!” Daehwi slammed the table, waking Jihoon up from his daydream.

“I’d call the cops on you if you weren’t sharing your lunch with me right now. Count yourself lucky this time,” Jinyoung shrugged and bit into his half of Daehwi’s egg and ham sandwich.

“Technically, it’s not illegal-“ Jihoon stopped. “Did you say my boyfriend? How… did you know?” 

“It’s not that hard to guess when you’re literally smiling and blushing at your phone 24/7,” Daehwi said.

“So is he cute?” Jinyoung asked, now interested.

Daehwi looked offended. He put down his sandwich and pointed at Jinyoung. “Now I’m sure THAT’S illegal. Asking your friend if his boyfriend is cute.”

Now it was Jinyoung’s turn to roll his eyes. “I never said I was going to date him.”

Jihoon scrolled through his gallery for a picture of him and Guanlin. He found one from last year, a picture he had secretly taken of Guanlin when they were eating patbingsoo at a café near their school. Passing the phone along to Daehwi and Jinyoung, he held his breath. 

“Wow, you take so many pictures of him,” Daehwi commented. Jihoon gasped in horror as Daehwi started to scroll through his other pictures. 

“LEE DAEHWI!” Jihoon yelled, reaching over to try and retrieve his phone. Jinyoung was laughing now, encouraging Daehwi by pointing at Jihoon’s phone. 

“This one is cute,” Daehwi pointed at a picture of a selfie Jihoon had took lying down on Guanlin’s lap. Jihoon’s face was burning, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re both ridiculous give it back now.” The only thing worse than Daehwi and Jinyoung being on opposing teams was Daehwi and Jinyoung being on the same team. Jihoon was still struggling to get his phone back when he heard his name being called out from the other end of the cafeteria.

“Jihoon! Jihoon, I need your help,” Jisung was gasping for air when he reached Jihoon’s table. Daehwi and Jinyoung quickly stopped playing around and Jihoon managed to grab his phone from Daehwi’s hand.

“Yeah, hyung?” Jihoon quickly stuffed his phone back into his pocket. 

“I know this is really sudden and all but I have no one else to ask and you don’t have to agree to it but I really hope you do but oh my god I’m blabbering again. What I want to ask you is can you help me work on a script for the school film this year?” Jisung grabbed both of Jihoon’s hands, desperation in his eyes.

“You want me to do what?”

**(Daniel)**

“Can you go to practice today?” Daniel asked Seongwoo as they walked out of their lecture hall together. Jisung had rushed off after receiving a text, mumbling something about needing to find someone for the school film. Woojin had also left to collect a form he needed from elsewhere.

“Of course, you’re doubting the mighty and great Ong Seongwoo,” Seongwoo said. Of course, his friend would never admit if he was hurting. Daniel wasn’t going to be the one to stop him from practicing though, the college dance competition was coming up soon and they had barely started choreographing their item. 

-

They went to their dance practice room located at the basement after school.

“School is still school. Year 3 wants me dead!” Seongwoo proclaimed as he strolled into their dance practice room. Woojin and a few of their other club members were already there. 

“My dear friend,” Seongwoo said, putting his hand around Woojin. “You should appreciate your second year, it’s a breeze I tell you.” Everyone laughed, Seongwoo was that friend who could bring the mood up anytime. 

Jisung dragged his feet into the room, his unusual gloomy presence caught Daniel’s attention.

“Niel, help me,” Jisung begged.

“What’s wrong?” the last time Daniel saw Jisung look so crestfallen was when he was told he had to repeat his last school year.

“My scriptwriter just backed out, saying he was transferring to another school. I begged the creative writing course professor to recommend me someone I could ask for help, and he told me about this star student in his class. Quote “He’s as promising as a professional” Unquote,” Jisung lamented. 

“And so? Problem solved?” Daniel hated when Jisung talked in circles.

“He said he couldn’t do it. You’ll help me convince him won’t you? Right Niel?” Jisung tugged on Daniel’s sleeve.

“Hold on,” Daniel put his hands up in surrender. “You'll have to tell me who he is first.”

Jisung looked Daniel in the eye and sighed, “Park Jihoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are moving forward now~!
> 
> nielwink shippers; i'll feed you next chapter, i promise.
> 
> thank you for all the love ♡


	4. favours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the love; i appreciate every hit, bookmark, comment, like you guys leave me ;-;
> 
> here's a longer than usual chapter to express my thanks, please enjoy!

**(Daniel)**

After pestering Daehwi and Jinyoung for almost half an hour, Daniel finally got the two to tell him where Jihoon’s last class was and what time it would end. The sneaky duo took their chance and accepted Daniel’s bribe of a coffee treat the next time they met. 

Standing outside the lecture hall made Daniel feel somehow nervous. I’m only here to help Jisung out, he reminded himself. He couldn’t reject Jisung’s plead, Jisung would be heartbroken if the one and only school film of the year was ruined just because he couldn’t find another scriptwriter.

“What about the Year 3s and 2s?” Daniel asked Jisung earlier. 

Jisung shook his head. “They have too many projects, I tried asking some of them previously. No one wants to take on the burden of the scriptwriter for our school film.”

The one-a-year school film was Jisung’s pride and joy, the reason he picked himself up from the slump he experienced last year. With the school film having many years of success, Daniel would understand why no one was willing to take up the role of scriptwriter. The chance of failing and embarrassing themselves was too large to risk.

Daniel snapped out of his daydream when the lecture door opened and students started to pour out, eager to return to their dorms after their last class. He tiptoed, hoping he wouldn’t miss Jihoon in the crowd. He caught a glimpse of Minhyun, who walked in the other direction before he could say hi. 

“Daniel? What are you doing here?” Jihoon’s voice quipped. 

Daniel was too busy trying to look out for Jihoon he didn’t realise the boy he was looking for found him first. His mind went blank as Jihoon’s curious eyes surveyed himself.

“Uh,” Daniel stuttered. Get yourself together. He remembered what he came here to do. “Actually, do you want to come grab dinner with me? It’s pretty late and I haven’t eaten.” Daniel rubbed his stomach, hoping Jihoon would take his hint.

Jihoon took out his phone and checked his messgaes before nodding. “Yeah, that would be great.”

“I can hold your files for you,” Daniel pointed at a bright yellow file Jihoon was balancing on top of a textbook in his right arm. 

“That’s okay,” Jihoon waved Daniel’s offer away and held the file closer to him.

“Come on, I already offered. Don’t make me look like a bad friend,” Daniel took the file and textbook Jihoon was holding. Jihoon let out an embarrassed laugh, his now empty hands were unsure what to do.

“Thank you,” Jihoon smiled. 

“Why are you always carrying so many things in your hands?” Daniel asked.

“I guess I like to carry more things than I can manage.” 

Daniel didn’t know how to respond to that. 

-

They both got cheeseburgers and fries for dinner. The café was unusally quiet for a Monday night at their college. Daniel figured everyone was burnt out from the first day at school to go out of their way to have dinner. 

“Smile,” Jihoon said, holding up his phone to capture Daniel and his hamburger. Daniel held up a peace sign. He could almost hear Seongwoo snickering in his head, “Are you a statue? Don’t you have any other poses you could do?” 

He heard Jihoon’s camera click and put down his hand to start eating his burger. Jihoon started with his fries, he dipped them in ketchup.

“I was starving,” Jihoon finally said three minutes into their dinner. Daniel, caught off guard by Jihoon’s sudden comment, starting to choke.

“I’m sorry!” Jihoon handed Daniel a napkin, but even he couldn’t help but laugh at Daniel. Daniel let out an embarrassed laugh as well. He accepted Jihoon’s napkin and gulped down his cup of water.

“Was school hard on you? It’s only the first day though,” Daniel teased. Was the passionate Jihoon from yesterday already giving in to the pressure and stress from college?

“I can’t deny that. It’s amazing though, to actually be in the class I dreamed of for years,” Jihoon confessed. “Everything is interesting. I used to suspect someone put sleeping powder in my textbooks in highschool. Every time I opened them, I started to nod off in class. Not anymore though, the time passes too fast in class.”

Usually, Daniel would scoff if someone had said something like this to him. “You’re crazy,” he would joke. This time, it was different. Something about the passion in Jihoon’s eyes and the way he spoke made Daniel feel… different. 

Daniel was suddenly reminded of Jisung’s mission for him. It seemed like an appropriate time to bring the topic up. Daniel cleared his throat, “Why not you try out for the scriptwriter role for the school film this year? Jisung needs someone to help him out.”

Jihoon look flustered that Daniel had brought up this topic at dinner. “I’m a Year 1. I don’t have the ability to manage something that big. I don’t even have the skills to produce a decent essay to gain the recognition of the professor in class.”

“He said you were as good as a professional though,” Daniel blurted out without even realising it. 

“Who did?”

“Your professor. He recommended you for the role, didn’t you know?” At the beginning, it didn’t matter to Daniel if Jihoon took up the role or not, but he was starting to want Jihoon to take it up and prove himself. Seeing Jihoon put himself down like that made Daniel somehow sad.

“You don’t have to commit to it. You could just try it out for a few sessions, that’s all I’m asking.” Daniel noticed Jihoon had stopped eating his burger at this point. “If you feel like it puts too much pressure on you, I’m sure Jisung would understand. I’m not asking you just for Jisung, I’ve seen how passionate you are about this, I think it would make me very happy to see you doing something you love.”

Jihoon didn’t say anything, he seemed like he was thinking hard. Daniel gulped. Did he go too far and put too much pressure on Jihoon to accept the offer? Saying a silent prayer, Daniel started out the window to avoid looking at Jihoon. 

“I’ll think about it, I really will,” Jihoon finally said, and Daniel heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

“Hey, are you interested to come watch my dance performance in about three weeks’ time?” Daniel tried to change the subject, hoping to ease the uncomfortable silence between the both of them.

“I would be honoured to,” Jihoon was finally smiling again. “How long have you been dancing?”

“Since I joined the dance club in this school,” Daniel recalled. He had absolutely no interest for anything until Seongwoo dragged him to the auditions three years ago. He still had no idea how he passed back then. He was clumsy, too slow with the choreography. Daniel could only thank his angels for landing him in this club. 

“It’s probably the biggest dance competition for me to participate in yet,” Daniel explained.

“I’ll be there,” Jihoon said, and Daniel felt reassured. “Wouldn’t miss the great Kang Daniel’s performance for the world.”

-

That night, Daniel and Jihoon decided to walk back to the dorms instead of taking a bus. It was a cool night, with just the right amount of breeze.

When they reached the basement of their dorm building, Jihoon said, “I guess you have something you’re passionate about too, Kang Daniel.” 

“Hm?” Daniel wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy enjoying his peaceful night out. No work commitments, no loud music, just the night sky with him and Jihoon. 

“I have something I need to do, I guess I’ll see around school?” Jihoon said.

“Oh, sure. Be safe,” Daniel said, handing Jihoon’s textbook and file back to him.

“Thank you for dinner, and-“ Jihoon hesitated before completing his sentence. “Thank you.”

Waving with his free arm, Jihoon smiled and left before Daniel could say goodbye.

-

Daniel felt his eyes closing when a loud crash woke him up, he scrambled to put on a shirt, then stopped when he saw Jisung in his room.

“What the hell hyung? It’s 1am,” Seongwoo commented, obviously annoyed that he was woken by the loud nouse. 

“Oh Niel! Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jisung pounced onto Daniel without warning and he pulled up this blankets instinctively. 

Holding Jisung away with his arms, Daniel finally asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Jihoon came to look for me, he said he would do it. The scriptwriter role. He said he owed it to you for helping him make this decision. Oh Niel! I could kiss you right now!” Jisung was smaller than Daniel in size, but he sure was strong. Jisung puckered his lips and came in closer to Daniel.

Holding Jisung by the shoulder, Daniel flipped Jisung over before the other’s lips could touch his cheek. “Jihoon really said that?” he finally registered what Jisung said.

“Yes, I owe you, really I do.” Jisung gushed.

“Hey, maybe do this another time? Like, not at 1am in the morning when we have to get up in five hours?” Seongwoo called out from the other side of the room.

“Alright, Mr Grumpy,” Jisung grumbled, getting off Daniel’s bed and headed for their door. “Goodnight, you two.” Before closing the door behind him, Jisung flashed Daniel another thumbs up.

Did Jihoon really accept the role? And did he really say he owed it to Daniel? Jisung had a way of exaggerating things, but Daniel could care less. Plopping down back onto his pillow, Daniel felt a smile creep into his lips. 

He had sweet dreams that night.

 

**(Jihoon)**

“You really said yes?” Daehwi gasped and Jinyoung’s jaw hung open as Jihoon broke the news of him taking up the scriptwriter role to them first thing the next morning.

“Yeah,” Jihoon said, embarrassed. “Do you think I’m crazy? You can tell me, I won’t get mad. I think I’m out of my mind too.”

Daehwi hit Jihoon’s arm and he grimaced. Daehwi was small, but he sure packed a punch.

“You’re absolutely, wonderfully, perfectly out of your mind to do this,” Daehwi confessed. At least he was honest. “But don’t you dare give this opportunity up. You’ll probably do fine, I’m so happy for you!”

“If you need any inspiration, you can come to me,” Jinyoung joked. “I’m really happy for you though, you deserve this.”

“Thank you,” Jihoon meant it. At least he had two people on his side if he screwed this up. “I have to get to class. I probably won’t make it to lunch, Jisung hyung wants me to discuss the script with him starting today.” 

-

Jisung wasn’t lying the previous night when he said it would be tough on Jihoon these few weeks. All the ideas Jihoon had come up with the previous night had been rejected by Jisung. He tried not to feel disheartened, he knew it wasn’t anything personal or against his ideas, it just wasn’t good enough. Just as he felt as if his head was about to explode, Jisung said, “Let’s take a break, do you want to go for lunch?”

“I’m good. I think I’ll stay here and brainstorm for a while more. Go ahead, hyung,” Jihoon was starving, but he wanted to get a rough storyline out by tomorrow. 

Jisung nodded. “Okay, don’t push yourself too hard. Be on time for your next class.” He left after giving Jihoon a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Rubbing his tired eyes, Jihoon took out his phone, eager to see if Guanlin had read his text from last night about him taking on the role. Sure enough, he had texted back an hour ago.

**From: Guanlin**  
**Are you serious? Don’t joke around, Jihoon. Is this for real?**

**From: Guanlin**  
**Reply me!!! I’m dying to hear more :(**

**To: Guanlin**  
**Yes, dummy. It’s real. I don’t think I can do this though. Nothing seems to be coming to me.**

**From: Guanlin**  
**Don’t say that about yourself, Jihoon. You have me cheering you on, don’t you? I’m in class, I’ll call you later at night. I miss you. Believe in yourself!**

Jihoon was about to reply when a knock on the door scared him and he jumped up from his chair.

It was Daniel, holding up two bento sets in his hand.

“Jisung told me you haven’t eaten your lunch. How are you going to write if you’re hungry?” Daniel chided when Jihoon opened the door to let him in. 

“I won’t get anything done by wasting my time like that,” Jihoon said. The smell of the bento sets was making his stomach growl though. Luckily, Daniel was already setting up the bento set and cutlery for the both of them. Jihoon pushed his notebook away, eager to have something to fill his empty stomach. 

“You have to stop accumulating favours I have to repay you for,” Jihoon sighed. He didn’t think he was worthy enough to be receiving this much help from Daniel. Afterall, Daniel had already been a huge help to him by encouraging him to take this up.

“No favours between us,” Daniel picked up his chopsticks. “Eat up.”

Without saying anything, Daniel picked up the fried egg from his bento and put it in Jihoon’s.

“You don’t have to, really,” Jihoon tried to hand it back to Daniel, but he waved it away. “Eggs give you more energy. Tell me more about what you’re planning to write, maybe I could help you out.”

-

Clutching the strawberry milk in his hand, Jihoon wandered around the basement for the dance practice room. He followed the loud booming sound of hip hop music. Tip-toeing to sneak a peak through the window, Jihoon discovered Daniel practicing alone in the room. He decided against interrupting Daniel’s practice, he looked too focused for Jihoon to enter.

Leaving the strawberry milk bottle outside the door of the practice room, Jihoon started to walk back towards his dorms. He then decided to turn back, left a small post in under the bottle. Satisfied, he went back to his room to work on his writing. 

**Daniel: I owe you too many thank yous. I can only hope to repay you properly one day. Enjoy!**  
**Sincerely, a grateful Park Jihoon**

**(Daniel)**

Daniel’s heart dropped when he opened his mini fridge to find his strawberry milk gone. He searched frantically through the cans of beer and soda but to no avail. 

No, no, no, I put it here I swear! Daniel screamed internally.

Taking a glance around the room, Daniel spotted the familiar milk bottle, now empty on Seongwoo’s bedside table.

“What the hell? Did you take this from my fridge?” Daniel marched over to Seongwoo, who was reading. Seongwoo put down his book and turned to look at Daniel.

“That?” Seongwoo pointed to the milk bottle. “Yeah. I wanted some juice, but all you had was beer and this thing. I had some of it.” Seongwoo raised his eyebrows, as if it was strange Daniel was making a big fuss out of nothing.

“Why would you do that?” Daniel was trying his best not to yell at Seongwoo because it was late. “I wanted to have that!”

Seongwoo sighed, as if Daniel was the one who had done wrong. “You said I could take anything from your fridge except your jellies, what’s the problem now?”

“Just not that! Ugh!” Daniel groaned, and stomped back to his bed.

“If you’re going to act up then fine, I’ll buy you another one,” Seongwoo got up from his bed, rolling his eyes as if to tell Daniel how ridiculous he was acting now.

“Forget it,” Daniel snapped, storming out of their dorm. He had no idea why he was so pissed, Seongwoo was technically right. They had set the rule that Seongwoo could take his drinks, just not his jellies and snacks. 

But it was a special strawberry milk gift from someone special to Daniel. 

The night breeze send a shiver down Daniel’s spine. He was cold but just to make it clear that he was pissed at Seongwoo, he couldn’t return to the dorm so quickly. My fucking ego, Daniel cursed in his head. He wondered around the campus, when an idea struck him.

Daniel stopped short of knocking on Jihoon’s door.

“Alright, alright, I’ll head to bed now. You should get to sleep too.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call you again tomorrow.”

Daniel didn’t mean to eavesdrop.

“I love you too.”

Maybe tonight was not the best choice. Daniel opened the bottle of banana milk he had bought from the store. He crumpled up the note he had written hastily earlier and stuffed it into his jeans pocket. Then, he left without accomplishing what he went all the way there to do.

**Jihoon: Should I keep doing you favours if I want to keep you near me?**  
**Sincerely: a curious Kang Daniel**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me ;-;
> 
> i'd love to hear if you guys are on team daniel or guanlin, or both? see you next chapter!


	5. stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved reading all your comments about whose side you are on!  
> it makes me feel so warm inside to know how much you guys appreciate this story, i can never thank you all enough.
> 
> enjoy this next chapter; it wasn't easy to write it.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon spent the next two weeks either cooped up in his room trying to finish up his draft for Jisung or catching up with his assignments for class. He hardly left his room, the only time he did was to go to the library to do more research. 

Of course, it would be easy for him to just give up on the school film. He would have so much more time for himself. Whenever Jihoon felt like throwing the white towel into the ring, he would begin to see hope in his script. He knew there was still a long way to go, but somewhere along the way, he had started to take more pride and responsibility in this script. 

Daehwi and Jinyoung were constantly trying to make things less stressful for Jihoon. Daehwi dragged Jihoon, not by choice, out of their room to get dinner outside at the very least. Jinyoung, as cold as he could seem to others, left snacks and drinks for Jihoon on his study table. But Daehwi and Jinyoung had their own assignments to attend to, and as their work began to pile up, the less Jihoon got to see of them. They rarely had lunch together anymore, Jihoon was beginning to get used to making cup noodles for himself for at least two of his meals a day.

“Hey, Jihoon, how’s it going?” a voice stopped Jihoon from rushing back to his room to continue on his work after his lecture. Jihoon was greeted by Minhyun, looking concerned. 

“Hi, Minhyun,” Jihoon smiled. He looked more unpresentable as the days passed. Jihoon adjusted his round glasses and straightened his grey hoodie, hoping Minhyun wouldn’t notice how dishevelled he looked. “I’m doing great, thank you for asking.”

“I hope you’re not stressing yourself out, I heard that you’re helping Jisung out with the school film as well,” Minhyun’s brows furrowed. The last time Jihoon had a proper conversation with Minhyun was during the party two weeks back. Minhyun had waved hello to him a few times in class, inviting jealous stares from the other students. 

“I’m trying my best not to,” Jihoon admitted, letting out an embarrassed laugh. 

Minhyun put his right hand on Jihoon’s shoulder. “It’s okay to take a break, you know. The more you try to push your body when it’s tired, the harder it is to get back up.”

“Don’t worry, I know my limits,” Jihoon’s heart started to do backflips inside. Having someone like Minhyun care about him gave him new hope to begin again. Giving Jihoon one last reassuring smile, Minhyun left to his next class.  


Jihoon’s room was empty when he returned. He was now used to only seeing Daehwi and Jinyoung late at night, when they returned from studying at the library together. Although they had denied it many times, Jihoon knew they avoided studying at their room just to give Jihoon the peace and quiet he needed to write. Stretching, Jihoon plopped back onto his chair. A framed picture of him and Guanlin at the corner of his table made his heart ache. 

Oh, how much Jihoon missed having someone he could let his defences down around. His gaze shifted towards his calendar. “7 more weeks,” Jihoon told himself. 7 more weeks until Jihoon had his first break in his college life. It was only a one week break, but to Jihoon it meant the world to be able to go home to the people he loved.

Before Jihoon got started on his writing for the day, his phone lighted up. A message from Jisung popped up on his lockscreen.

**From: Jisung hyung**  


**Hey Jihoon, are you done with the final draft? If you are, could you come pass it to me tonight around 8pm? I’ll be in dance practice room 1.**

**To: Jisung hyung**  


**Yup, hyung. I’ll see you there then.**

Jihoon had two pages left of draft to complete. Then he would have to go through discussions with the entire theatre club and decide on the best way to translate his script onto the big screen.

His script. Jihoon could still hardly believe those two words would ever come together. Pulling himself together, he set his mind on completing the draft before 7pm so he could proof read it one more time before submitting it to Jisung.

**(Daniel)**

With the first round of the dance competition only two weeks away, Daniel would usually go straight to practice after his class ended. He had long forgotten about being pissed at Seongwoo because of the strawberry milk he drank and the banana milk Daniel never got to give to Jihoon.

As soon as the music stopped, Daniel half collapsed onto the floor. He was exhausted, and blamed Seongwoo for coming up with such an exhausting choreography.

“Take a 5-minute break and we’ll get back to work,” Seongwoo clapped his hands together. Daniel could see that Seongwoo was exhausted as well but he knew nothing would stop his best friend from doing his best for this competition.

Daniel didn’t hear the knock on their practice room door at first. Looking back, maybe he did. He just didn’t think it was important at that time. Daniel didn’t notice either when Jihoon walked into their practice room to Jisung, who liked hanging around in their practice room instead of his own club room.

“Jihoon, this is amazing. Thank you so much for doing this,” Daniel’s head immediately reacted to the familiar name that rolled off Jisung’s tongue so easily. There Jihoon stood, back to Daniel, wearing a oversized striped shirt whose sleeves reached just below his elbow. 

“It was nothing. I hope this is okay,” Jihoon put touched the back of his neck and looked down. They were probably talking about the script for the film.

“Jihoon, I haven’t seen you in forever,” Daniel walked up to Jisung and Jihoon who were still talking. Upon a closer look, Daniel observed that Jihoon looked skinnier than before, his cheek fat no longer intact, and his eyes looked red and tired. 

Without much thought, Daniel grabbed Jihoon’s wrist. He was now sure Jihoon had lost weight in the last two weeks he hadn’t seen the boy. “Are you okay? Have you eaten? You look so tired.”

“Do I?” Jihoon asked. “I’m going back to my room to eat now though, I’ll be fine. I’ll get going now.” 

“Let’s get back to practice!” Daniel heard Seongwoo say as he turned the music back on. Jihoon waved goodbye to Jisung and Daniel, then left for the door.

Daniel felt his legs carry him to Jihoon first. Then he slung his right arm around Jihoon. By the time his brain could register what he was doing, Daniel was already out the door, Seongwoo’s calls behind him.

-

“Are you sure you don’t have to practice?” Jihoon didn’t look too happy sitting with Daniel in the cafeteria at 8:30pm at night. He was right, Seongwoo was going to kill him later. 

“They’ll understand. I haven’t had dinner either,” Daniel explained. “You should eat, you looked like you lost so much weight, have you been taking care of yourself?”

Did he come off as too aggressive? Daniel couldn’t understand why he was doing this either. 

“I would’ve done the same for Jisung or Seongwoo too,” Daniel argued in his head. But would he? Daniel stirred his tofu stew with his spoon, his head down. Half of him was hoping he was back at dance practice, without thoughts like this constantly invading his mind. The other half felt at ease whenever he was with Jihoon, something about the other boy made Daniel want to protect him. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked too much,” Daniel said, following Jihoon’s silence.

“It’s just that I-“ Daniel finally plucked up the courage to look at Jihoon but stopped mid-sentence.

Daniel wasn’t sure exactly when, but Jihoon had fallen asleep, head resting on his right hand that was propped up by his arm. Jihoon looked so peaceful, Daniel couldn’t bear to wake him. Jihoon’s light brown curls had grown since the first week in school, they now covered Jihoon’s eyebrows. 

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Daniel shook himself out of his daydream. He was crazy to be looking at Jihoon like this. Daniel barely knew this boy. All he knew was that Jihoon was nineteen, in the creative writing course. Jihoon liked carrying so many books and files in his arms that they spilt out of his arms. Jihoon didn’t have many friends in high school, which is why he treasured Daehwi and Jinyoung so much. He was willing to sacrifice sleep and his own time to do something he loved. 

Jihoon also had someone else.

Daniel had never meant to feel like this. Heck, he didn’t even know what this feeling was. Pushing Jihoon’s “someone else” out of his mind, Daniel slurped his soup, but it didn’t taste as good as before. 

**(Jihoon)**

He barely remembered how he got back to his room. Jihoon tried to piece the fragments of his memories together about the night together in his bed. He remembered handing the script over to Jihoon, then Daniel grabbing him to eat dinner together. Jihoon’s head was pounding from the lack of sleep from the previous weeks. He must have fell asleep during dinner. He only remembered walking back with Daniel to the dorms, it was chilly outside. Daniel then mumbled something about getting back to dance practice, leaving Jihoon alone at the basement of their dorm building.

Groaning, Jihoon turned to switch his bedroom lamp off when he heard keys unlocking the door. The door creaked open, allowing the corridor light to shine into the now dark room.

“Jihoon? Are you awake?’ Daehwi asked cautiously. 

“I’m awake,” Jihoon responded. He hadn’t heard Daehwi and Jinyoung’s voice since forever. They stayed in the same room, but hadn’t had a decent conversation the past week. Jihoon sat up and turned on the lights.

Daehwi smiled and dropped off his books onto table. “I’m glad, are you done with the draft?”

“For now,” Jihoon said. Something was off with Daehwi, but Jihoon couldn’t place his finger right on it. 

“Where’s Jinyoung?” Jihoon asked. There was no sight of the boy who followed Daehwi around everywhere tonight.

“I don’t know,” Daehwi tried to sound like he didn’t care, but Jihoon could tell that his friend was hiding something from him. Jihoon stood up and walked over to where Daehwi was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. 

“Did something bad happen between the both of you?” Jihoon sat beside Daehwi, who was now staring blankly into a picture on his phone.

Sighing, Daehwi turned off his phone and left it on his table. 

“I’m tired, Jihoon. Let’s talk tomorrow,” Daehwi said, covered himself with blankets and turned to the side, back facing Jinyoung. Taken aback at how Daehwi’s mood could shift so suddenly, Jihoon was at a loss before getting up and returning to his bed. Something had definitely happened between both of his friends. Something bad enough to dim Daehwi’s cheerful personality.

Knowing he couldn’t solve any of this in the middle of the night, Jihoon decided to finally get some sleep in a long while. 

Jihoon heard the door creaking open later into the night. He knew it was Jinyoung, but thought better than to confront him now about their argument. Jihoon wondered if Daehwi was awake too.

-

Jinyoung left the next morning even before Jihoon woke up. Jinyoung’s bed was unmade, his books still on his table, it was as if all he wanted to do was to avoid both Jihoon and Daehwi.

Speaking of Daehwi, he was all washed up and packing his bag for the day ahead. Any bad feelings from last night were forgotten, Daehwi almost looked normal when he smiled at Jihoon. Deep down, Jihoon knew the problem was bigger than their daily bickering.

“See you later, Jihoon,” Daehwi said and left before Jihoon could speak about what happened the previous night. 

-

Daniel was avoiding him for sure. 

The first time, it wasn’t that obvious. Jihoon usually met Daniel and his friends on the way to his morning class. As Jihoon greeted them that morning, Daniel barely met his eyes and walked ahead alone. That time, Jihoon figured that Daniel had something else to attend to.

The second time was during lunch, when Jihoon had arranged to meet with Jisung to plan when they would hold the script meeting with the club. Jihoon swore Daniel could see him coming from a mile away, and would leave or talk to someone else within the vicinity just to avoid him. 

Jihoon tried not to take it personally, but he just couldn’t figure out why Daniel would avoid him out of the blue. Normally, Daniel would be so happy to see him, Jihoon was reminded of a huge Samoyed that had seen a dog treat. 

The last time really got on Jihoon’s nerves. He was walking out of his lecture when he saw Daniel and Seongwoo making small talk with Minhyun outside of class. Daniel didn’t see him coming this time, so Jihoon went up to say hi. Daniel looked so shocked seeing Jihoon up close for the first time that day, he sputtered out some excuse about needing to see a teacher and left without looking back. 

“He could at least make it less obvious he was avoiding me,” Jihoon huffed. He had no idea why Daniel would avoid him like that. Just yesterday Daniel had skipped dance practice and risked getting killed by Seongwoo just to have dinner with him. Did something happen last night? Jihoon swore he didn’t do anything stupid, he just fell asleep. Was Daniel offended that Jihoon had wasted his time by sleeping at dinner? 

Daehwi had fought with Jinyoung and refused to tell Jihoon why. Jinyoung was missing, and Daniel was avoiding him. Jihoon almost wished he was back to drowning in workload so he wouldn’t have to care about all of this. 

-

**(Daniel)**

Daniel was avoiding Jihoon. 

He was sure Jihoon knew. Daniel knew how unnatural his acting was, he could barely tell a lie to Jisung. He didn’t know why he was avoiding Jihoon either, he was afraid of what he would do if he allowed himself to stick around with Jihoon any longer. 

Daniel tried to immerse himself in big crowds to forget about Jihoon. He tried to let the loud music and alcohol of a party organised by someone he barely knew take away the way he felt last night, it didn’t work. He left after an hour.

Even the exhaustion of working two part-time jobs couldn’t take his mind off Jihoon, and it made Daniel frustrated how he couldn’t get the other boy out of his mind. Dragging his exhausted body but busy mind to dance practice, he just couldn’t bring himself to feel excited about dance practice that day. Seongwoo and Woojin had completed the choreography the day before, and they were left with four days till the first round of the competition.

“Warm up and join us,” Seongwoo said when Daniel entered their practice room. Jisung was there too, earphones in his ears and working on something on his laptop at one corner of the room. It was late and all the other club members had long returned to their dorms. 

“Let’s just practice,” Daniel dropped his bags onto the floor and changed into a new shirt.

Woojin shot Seongwoo a look, Seongwoo shrugged and turned on the music. 

Forget him, Daniel told himself as they took their positions. For a fleeting moment, Daniel felt the music carrying him through the moves. Then, halfway through the song, reality came crashing back. Daniel felt his heart bursting through his chest; not because of the choreography, but because the memories of Jihoon came running back into his mind. The first time they met, Jihoon telling him he did well at the performance, the both of them having cheeseburgers, Jihoon giving him strawberry milk, Jihoon looking like an angel when he slept. 

And Jihoon saying “I love you” to someone else while Daniel watched from the sidelines like the coward he was, and always would be. 

Daniel didn’t feel the pain at first. Then, it came. The pain shot through his fingers, then into his wrist. He was too shocked to hear or say anything, but he saw Jisung and Seongwoo running towards him. He saw Woojin running to turn off the music from the corner of his eye. He was lying on the floor now, the pain now obvious and excruciating. 

“Daniel, do you hear me? Answer me,” Jisung was holding his left hand. His voice was strained, Daniel knew Jisung was trying his best not to lose it. Finding his own voice, Daniel let out a groan.

“My wrist, it hurts,” he managed to say. Then, he unconsciously let out a cry of pain. His felt as if someone had run over his wrist.

“Okay, okay. Woojin is calling for an ambulance. Hang in there, alright?” Jisung said, staying beside Daniel. Seongwoo rushed out, looking to bring the paramedics into the dance room.

Over the next 10 minutes, Jisung kept trying to talk to Daniel and keep him awake although the pain was so strong that Daniel felt like blacking out. During the last few minutes before the ambulance arrived, Daniel could barely feel anything anymore. His eyes were constantly fluttering shut, the image of a boy with brown hair sleeping soundly flashing in his mind before plunging into pitch black darkness. 

**(Jihoon)**

**To: Jinyoung**  


**Are you busy? Have dinner with me?**

**From: Jinyoung**  


**Sorry, Jihoon. I have projects to do. Maybe next time?**

Jinyoung was sitting alone at the cafeteria. Jihoon’s sank when he received Jinyoung’s message. He was about to walk away when he decided against it. He had to get at least one problem solved today.

“So, projects?” Jihoon said as he sat opposite his friend. Jinyoung didn’t care to explain, he just looked down into his dinner. After 3 weeks, Jihoon had gotten used to Jinyoung’s cold exterior. Just like Daehwi, he liked to hide his feelings from others. 

“What’s going on, Jinyoung?” Jihoon lowered his voice. Jinyoung hesitated, not eating his noodles anymore.

“Nothing. Nothing is going on,” Jinyoung finally said.

“Then why is Daehwi not with you, and why is Daehwi acting okay when he’s obviously not, and why are you ignoring me?” Jihoon pressed Jinyoung for answers, hoping his friend would crack and finally tell him what was going on.

“We had a stupid fight, that’s all,” Jinyoung shrugged.

“And what was the fight about?” Jihoon knew the two bickered on a daily basis, but it had never been this serious.

“You.”

Jihoon didn’t understand at first. Why would they fight about Jihoon?

“What? But… why would you guys even-“

“I was being an asshole and I said you were selfish by keeping yourself cooped up in that stupid room writing and not hanging out with us. Daehwi got mad at me, and we fought, okay?” Jinyoung stood up, grabbed his tray and left Jihoon sitting alone in the empty cafeteria.

Everything suddenly made sense. Jihoon had rejected his friends’ many lunch offers during the past weeks and kept all his problems to himself. Thinking back, if he were in Jinyoung’s shoes, he would be pissed too. Even though Daehwi had defended Jihoon during their argument, he knew Daehwi wished Jihoon would spend more time with them as well. 

Getting up from his seat, Jihoon felt worse than he did before. The truth hurt more than not knowing why his two friends were acting so strange towards him. 

Jihoon was at fault, and he was terribly wrong. He had thought college was being kind to him, he had thought he had everything together when everything was in fact, falling apart.

**(Daniel)**

It took a while for the anaesthesia to wear off. When he finally regained consciousness, Daniel saw Jisung, Seongwoo and Woojin standing next to him with worried looks on their faces. 

“Niel, do you see me? Do you know who I am?” Jisung waved one hand in front of his face.

“Hyung, he broke his wrist, not his head.” Woojin commented, earning himself a jab to the stomach from Jisung.

“I see you, hyung. What happened to my wrist?” Daniel asked. He remembered the pain, but nothing after that.

“You broke it, smartass. You’re out of the first round of competitions.” Seongwoo folded his arms, clearly pissed at Daniel.

“I’m what?” Daniel looked over at his right wrist which was bandaged up with three of his fingers. Oh no, he had broken them. The dance competition was days away, and he had screwed it up for himself this time. Shaking his head, Seongwoo walked out of the room. Daniel instantly felt a punch to his gut. Seongwoo and Woojin had worked so hard to choreograph the entire dance for the three of them to perform and Daniel had managed to ruin that as well.

“I’ll get the papers. You should be able to return to school tonight,” Jisung pat Daniel’s shoulder and left the room, leaving Woojin to fill the room with awkward tension.

-

It was midnight when Daniel finally got back to school. The rest had returned to their dorms to rest but Daniel decided to talk a walk in the school garden. The loud cricket sounds drowned out his worries about basically, everything.

He had disappointed Seongwoo and Woojin, and jeopardized both his and their chances at the competition all in one night. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one feeling sad tonight,” a boy in a familiar red hoodie took a seat next to Daniel.

The boy looked even more beautiful under the moonlight. Jihoon had a smile plastered on his face as he gazed up at the night sky, but Daniel could see the tears threatening to fall from the side of his now shiny eyes. 

“Even the stars won't come out tonight,” Jihoon let out a bitter laugh, now kicking at some pebbles on the ground. Silence ensued. Then, quiet sobbing sounds filled the air around them.

It broke Daniel to see Jihoon cry and even more when Daniel couldn’t do anything about it. It didn’t even feel right for him to ask what or who made Jihoon feel like that. All he could offer Jihoon was his shoulder, and even then, he prayed that the boy wouldn’t hear his heart racing.

The stars wouldn't stand a chance against you, Park Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so many things happened in this update. 
> 
> as always, i'd love to hear your thoughts on this new chapter.
> 
> take care, and see you all on the next one!


	6. you are all i see

**(Jihoon)**

He wasn’t sure how much time as passed as he sat with Daniel on the bench under the night sky bare of night stars. Jihoon felt strangely calm, his whole world was falling apart yet at the same time, the calmness and serenity of the night made him feel as if everything was going to be okay. 

Daniel hadn’t said a word since Jihoon had sat next to him. He probably had something on his mind too to be sitting alone in the middle of the school garden past midnight. Jihoon said a silent thanks to Daniel for staying by his side even when he started breaking down, and he appreciated even more how Daniel didn’t bother him for a reason as to why he was crying. All he did was lend Jihoon his shoulder and his time, and Jihoon was eternally thankful for that.

As if to say “I’m over it”, Jihoon wiped away the tears from his face and cleared his throat. 

“What happened to your wrist?” Jihoon asked, feeling sorry that he was only asking about Daniel’s injury now.

“I broke it,” Daniel said. “I just came back from the hospital, I won’t be able to dance at the competition, you won’t need to come down anymore.”

Even though it was dark, Jihoon could still sense the disappointment in Daniel’s voice. Jihoon had never seen Daniel as passionate as when he talked about dancing, he knew how much this competition meant to Daniel and couldn’t find the right words to comfort the other boy.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon stared at the ground, as if it would miraculously give him a solution for the situation. “It’s only the first round though, right? You can trust in Seongwoo and Woojin to make it to the second round.”

“And if they don’t? It would be all on me. They made the choreography for the three of us. It’s all my fault. I fucked up,” Daniel’s voice had become softer now, almost as if he was afraid to think of the worst possible consequences of his injury.

Jihoon put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Don’t say that about yourself. It’s not your fault, and I think Seongwoo and Woojin wouldn’t want you to blame yourself either.” Daniel nodded, but Jihoon knew it was just to humour Jihoon. If he were in Daniel’s shoes, he would feel really guilty towards his teammates and friends as well. Something about Daniel’s attitude hinted to Jihoon that he didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“Are you avoiding me?” Jihoon finally asked. He was aching to get another burning question off his chest, although it didn’t turn out so well the previous time.

“Me? Why would I avoid you?” Daniel laughed nervously. Jihoon was too tired to press Daniel for an explanation, he knew Daniel had been avoiding him but probably had a good reason why. There was a deafening silence between the both of them over the next two minutes.

“Okay well… don’t avoid me,” Jihoon swung his legs back and forth, a habit Guanlin had pointed out from before he had when he was nervous or hesitant to say something. 

Daniel now turned to look at him.

“I rely on you too much, so don’t turn your back on me too, or I’ll have no one else to turn to.”

-

When Jihoon got back to his room that night, Daehwi and Jinyoung were already sound asleep in bed. His phone lighted up, signalling a text message.

**From: Guanlin**

**How are you? Sorry I haven’t texted back in a while, I’m buried in assignments and projects. You miss me, right? Here’s a picture of your handsome boyfriend to look at before you go to bed. See you in seven weeks, I can’t wait!**

Attached to Guanlin’s text message was a picture of Guanlin in his round glasses, his bed behind him. Jihoon guessed it was a picture he took in his room. Smiling to himself, he quickly texted back.

**To: Guanlin**

**It’s okay, I’ve been busy as well. Of course I miss you, my VERY handsome boyfriend. I can’t wait to come home to you.**

Jihoon was too caught up in texting that he hadn’t realised Daehwi was stirring in his sleep.

“Mmfmm,” Daehwi mumbled in his sleep, then stretched and rolled to the side.

“Jihoon, you’re back. I was worried, you weren’t back even after midnight,” Daehwi’s voice filled the silent room. Now aware that his friend was awake, Jihoon put his phone down, looking sheepish.

“I went for a short walk, sorry for waking you,” Jihoon quickly apologised and prepared to go to sleep.

“Did Jinyoung tell you? About the fight?” Jihoon couldn’t see Daehwi from his side of the room, and he didn’t feel like talking about the fight that made him feel so guilty either.

“Yeah, he did.”

“I’m sorry, it was selfish of us to think of you that way,” Daehwi said, and tears sprung into Jihoon’s eyes again. He wanted to pretend he was asleep, then decided to sit up.

“No, it was me. I was selfish to shut you guys out just because of my work. I’m sorry,” Jihoon felt a tear slid down his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon. I was being so stupid, I regret everything. I should’ve supported you like I said I would. I’m a shitty friend,” Jinyoung said, and Jihoon realised that his friends couldn’t sleep with this issue bothering them either.

Jihoon stood up and turned on the lights. Daehwi was crying too, and he couldn’t see Jinyoung well on the top bunk, but his head was hanging low too.

“Don’t say that,” Jihoon’s voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “You guys are the best friends I’ve had in the past nineteen years of my life. Heck, you’re probably the only friends I have left in my life.”

Jihoon now realised how scared he was to lose Jinyoung and Daehwi. Through the limited conversations they had the past month in this college, Jihoon realised he had never clicked so well with anyone else in his school life. All the friends he had made from before weren’t bad, they just didn’t feel real to Jihoon. Only Daehwi and Jinyoung would argue over Jihoon not spending enough time with them, and that was enough to realise the two truly cared for him.

“Jihoon! I’m sorry, let’s never fight again,” Daehwi half crashed hugged into Jihoon. Listening to Daehwi’s sobs made his tears fall out as well, and soon enough, the two of them were a sobbing mess.

“You guys are so dumb,” Jinyoung commented, now hugging the Jihoon and Daehwi too. Jihoon could see how red Jinyoung’s eyes were.

“I missed you all,” Jihoon choked out.

“Are you stupid? We’re roommates in the same college, we see each other every day,” Daehwi was now crying in full force. And then they were laughing, as if nothing had happened. Wiping away a tear, Jihoon knew everything would turn out fine. Even though things the future looked bleak to him now, it would, eventually, be okay.

“Hey! Shut up over there, it’s 4am in the morning!” someone knocked on their door and shouted.

Now embarrassed, the three friends giggled. Jihoon breathed a sigh of relief, everything was going to be okay.

-

Jihoon’s heart was about to jump out of his chest. He stood next to Jisung, in front of the theatre club consisting of exactly 100 students. They were all talking among themselves, most probably about the script that was about to be shown for the first time to everyone. He bit his lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. 

What if they didn’t like his script? What if they didn’t like it that a Year 1 had already been given the opportunity to handle something so important to them. They’d curse at him, tell him to get out and go back and write children’s stories in his room.

“We’ll start in 2 minutes,” Jisung told Jihoon, and left to talk to a group of students Jihoon didn’t recognise.

“Hyung! You came back,” Jisung greeted them. “I promise you this years' is going to be great.”

Great, the club members of previous graduating years had come back just to attend this meeting. Jihoon hadn’t realised how important this meeting was for the success of the school film. As if the pressure wasn’t enough, the graduated club members were back to judge Jihoon and his script.

A boy behind the crowd of club members was waving to Jihoon. At first, Jihoon didn’t take notice. Then, he squinted.

It was Daniel.

Even from afar, Jihoon could see the bright smile plastered onto Daniel’s face. He gave Jihoon a thumbs up then took a seat at the back of the room.

“Jihoon? You ready?” Jisung put his hand on Jihoon’s shoulder. Someone dimmed the lights. Jihoon nodded, his heart in his mouth.

“You got this,” Jisung smiled then took his seat next to the graduated club members at the side of the room. Don’t look at the audience, Jihoon told himself.

Focusing his attention on a particular boy with broad shoulders in an oversized hoodie at the back of the room, Jihoon took a deep breath, then flashed the brightest smile he could manage.

“Thank you all for taking the time to come down today. My name is Park Jihoon, and I’m a Year 1 studying creative writing. I’m here to present the theme and script for this year’s school festiva;. Let’s get started.”

-

Jihoon hardly heard the clapping at the end of his presentation. He had broken out in cold sweat, and his ears were ringing, but he could still see the satisfied smile on Jisung’s face and the everlasting grin on Daniel’s.

Jisung took over the microphone from Jihoon to address the entire club. Jihoon didn’t register much, his heart still beating hard in his chest. His mind was still blank, and he wasn’t sure if he had delivered what he had planned to.

The club had started to disperse into the various stations that were set up in advance to sign up for auditions for the various roles in the film.

“Hey, I’m Kim Sejeong, I graduated from this college two years ago, but I still come back to attend this particular club meeting. You did really good up there,” a lady with a bright smile approached Jihoon as he was preparing to leave.

“Ah! Thank you so much,” Jihoon gushed. Behind her, the other graduated members smiled at him, some even gave him a thumbs up.

“I’ll see you again during the premiere of the film, then.” Sejeong smiled again, then left. Jihoon’s thoughts were all over the place, he couldn’t believe what had just happened to him.

“It definitely looks like you made quite an impression on everyone, the applause was deafening,” a voice approached Jihoon from behind.

It was Daniel, who had now returned with two coffee cups.

“I sure hope so. Thank you for coming,” Jihoon said, gratefully accepting the cup of coffee Daniel had offered to him. 

“I was afraid it’d give you more pressure if I was here. You did well, though.”

Thanks to you, Kang Daniel, I had forgotten about all the other people in the room.

All I could see was you.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel couldn’t help but feel guilty once again when Seongwoo and Woojin were doing their warmups in the waiting room.

“Daniel wipe that sorry look off your face before I slap it out of you, I said stop feeling sorry and start getting better.” Seongwoo said, not meeting Daniel’s eyes.

Thanks to Seongwoo and Woojin who were practically geniuses, they had come up with a two-person version of the choreography in two days. Daniel was apologising almost every 15 minutes before Woojin came up to him and told him to stop apologising if he ever wanted Woojin to include him in the next choreography.

Although his friends had a slightly different way of telling him that they had forgiven him, Daniel was thankful to the both of them for being so cool with the entire situation. 

Of course, Jisung hadn’t stopped nagging at him to start taking warm ups and stretching seriously. Little did he know that Daniel’s injury wasn’t due to insufficient practicing but because he was thinking of someone he wasn’t supposed to in the first place.

There was a knock on their waiting room door before three boys wearing matching Wanna Be College tiger mascot shirts barged in.

“We heard it was a tradition to get flowers during a friend’s performance,” Daehwi said, holding up three stalks of flowers in his hand.

“Don’t give it to Daniel, he’s not performing,” Seongwoo joked. Daniel glared at him, then accepted the flowers from Daehwi. 

“I’ll save you a seat later,” Jihoon tapped on Daniel’s arm to get his attention. He nodded thankfully.

“We’re going to get the good seats, all the best!” Daehwi cheered before dragging his two other friends out the door before they could even say goodbye or thank you.

“Daehwi’s cute,” Seongwoo commented when they were out of earshot. Woojin shot Seongwoo a strange look.

“Don’t even think about it, hyung. He can’t take his hands off Bae Jinyoung even for half a second.”

-

Jihoon had kept to his word and saved Daniel a seat next to him. He spotted Daniel from afar, and waved him over to join them.

“Where did you get these matching shirts from? It’s embarrassing,” Daniel laughed. 

Jihoon narrowed his eyes at Daniel. “I got these just for this event, be grateful.”

Daniel was about to reply Jihoon before there was a loud cheer to signal the start of the competition. The other college dance groups performed first. Whenever Jihoon was amazed by something an opposing team did, he cheered. Then as if suddenly remembering Daniel was sitting beside him, he would stop with a guilty smile on his face. It drove Daniel crazy.

Finally, Seongwoo and Woojin made their appearance on stage. There were loud cheers from the audience. They had their fair share of fangirls and fanboys.

Smirking, Seongwoo blew a kiss to the crowd. Trust Seongwoo to know how to pull some extra votes. Jihoon waved his hands in the air, cheering loudly for Daniel’s teammates, and he followed suit.

The music started, and Daniel watched them with bated breath. He knew Seongwoo and Woojin were professionals, there was no way they would allow themselves to make a mistake now. The choreography was all too familiar to him, and he would occasionally find himself mouthing the lyrics to the song they used or following the moves.

“That’s your spot, right?” Jihoon tapped Daniel and pointed to an empty space between Seongwoo and Woojin.

“Yeah, it is.” His spot. 

Their performance ended as flawlessly as Daniel predicted. The cheers from the crowd proved Daniel right. Seongwoo and Woojin’s effort had paid off. They did a bow, then left and the next group took the stage.

-

“You don’t have to be nervous, they’ll definitely get into the next round,” Jihoon assured Daniel, who was bouncing his legs out of nervousness.

“With you. You’ll be with them next time,” Jihoon added, and Daniel instantly felt his anxiety melt away.

“And for the last team to make it to the second round…” the mc of the day trailed off, and the whole hall kept so silent, you could hear a pin drop.

“Wanna Be College! Congratulations!” the mc announced and immediately, the crowded roared. Jihoon jumped up out of excitement with Jinyoung and Daehwi while Daniel could hardly believe his ears. 

Seongwoo and Woojin quickly went onto the stage to collect their prize, and the mc passed the mic to Seongwoo to say a few words.

“Thank you so much for voting for us, it really means a lot to us! We hope you enjoyed our performance today, we’ll be back with even better performances the next time!”

Seongwoo then hesitated before continuing, amidst the loud cheers from the crowd.

“Actually, we’re a three-member team. Our other teammate injured his wrist days ago and had to sit out of the performance this time, but this is his win as much as it is ours.”

Daniel felt his heart bursting as he was made by Jihoon, Jinyoung and Daehwi to walk up to the stage and accept the prize with Seongwoo and Woojin, who were smiling more widely than before.

Holding up their trophy as one team, Daniel surveyed the crowd for his friends. They weren’t difficult to spot especially with their eye-catching shirts. However, he found himself only looking at one of the three, the one looking him right in the eye, as if to tell Daniel how proud he was of him.

Park Jihoon was all he could see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh character developments for Jihoon are finally happening!
> 
> let me know if you prefer angsty nielwink or fluffy nielwink - or is that too obvious a question to ask?
> 
> as always, i love hearing your thoughts about this new update.
> 
> take care and see you next chapter! :)


	7. wonderfully, perfectly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reading all your lovely comments keeps me motivated to update, so thank you for that!
> 
> enjoy this next one :)

**(Jihoon)**

“Where are you three going? We should all go for dinner to celebrate!” Seongwoo caught the trio just before they could leave the hall. Jihoon looked back and saw Jisung along with Woojin and Daniel waving them over.

“With us?” Daehwi asked, almost as if he was shocked that Daniel and gang would ask the three of them out for dinner.

“We should at least treat our cheerleaders to dinner,” Seongwoo said while guiding them to the group of fans that had already formed around Daniel and Woojin, some eager to get a picture or autograph from them.

Daehwi looked at Jihoon and Jinyoung for confirmation, Jihoon shrugged. He was in a good mood, and a dinner wouldn’t hurt. 

-

“Cheers!” the group of boys exclaimed as they clinked their glasses together. Daehwi, Jinyoung and himself helped themselves to the meat grilling on the hotplate as the rest took a gulp of their beer. It was a Friday night, and the barbeque place was packed with people of all ages, they even had to wait outside for half an hour before they got a seat inside.

“Ah, this is what paradise feels like,” Seongwoo commented. The others mumbled in agreement, their faces already stuffed with meat.

“How’s school for you guys?” Jisung asked, addressing Jihoon and his friends.

“Ah hyung, you should know better. You sucked the life out of me the past month,” Jihoon joked, earning himself a neck slice from Jisung and laughter from the rest.

Jisung cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Anyone you have your eyes on? You can ask me, I know practically everyone in this school.”

Jihoon laughed when he met eyes with Jinyoung and Daehwi as he recalled the previous banter about their good-looking professor. Daehwi and Jinyoung shook their heads in disagreement.

“We’re too busy to take a good look around,” Daehwi jokingly complained. 

“Don’t lie to me. I know what all the Year 1s think when they first come into school, dating is the priority, then studies. Am I right, Jihoon?” Jisung asked. Jihoon, shocked by Jisung’s sudden address, started to choke on his drink. 

“Jisung hyung!” Daehwi complained. “How could you say that to Jihoon!”

Jisung eyes wavered, “Why? Did I say something I shouldn’t? You really have your eyes on someone in school?” Jihoon started to break out in cold sweat, he wasn’t expecting to talk about this when he agreed to have dinner today.

Daehwi leaned in to Jisung, but everyone at the table could still hear him anyway.

“Jihoon… already has someone.”

The rest didn’t even try to hide their shock or surprise at Daehwi’s confession. Jisung’s eyes grew wide and Seongwoo’s jaw dropped. Woojin also stopped eating, pausing at an awkward moment with his hands holding his chopsticks still in the air. Jinyoung shot Daehwi a look. Jihoon could feel his ears turn redder by the minute. 

“Yeah… yeah I do,” Jihoon tried his best to play it cool, but he knew it was impossible to get past this topic without Jisung finding out everything he wanted to know. Jisung was now in full-mum mode, and started to lean in further to Jihoon.

“What’s his name? Show me his picture- no wait, is he older than you? How did you meet him?” Jisung started to question Jihoon. All the attention was on him now. Guanlin wouldn’t mind if he told his friends, right? He would be happy.

“Calm down, mom, I’ll tell you everything if you stop pressing me,” Jihoon said. Jisung was about to retaliate before he decided otherwise.

“His name is Guanlin, he transferred to my high school from Taiwan last year. We’re the same age,” Jihoon started to explain to everyone. Daehwi and Jinyoung were listening intently as well, Jihoon realised he never got the chance to tell his friends about Guanlin in detail as he was interrupted the previous time.

“Where’s he studying now?” Jisung continued to interrogate Jihoon.

“Back in my hometown, he’s in one of the top science courses in one of the colleges there,” Jihoon couldn’t help but beam with pride when he told people how smart Guanlin was. 

“You must really miss him, long-distance is no easy feat.” Jisung now looked somehow sad, and put another piece of meat onto Jihoon’s plate.

Jisung was right, it really wasn’t. There were times in the past month Jihoon wanted to just disappear get on a train back home. It wasn’t easy to adapt to exchanging a few messages each day when they were once stuck together 7 days a week. Sometimes, Jihoon liked to imagine how nice it would be if he went to the same college as Guanlin. Would life be easier? Would he be happier than he already was now?

“The world is going to nuts,” Seongwoo commented, and drew everyone’s attention away from Jihoon. “I’m going to die a single man.”

Jisung scoffed, and the atmosphere was back being cheerful and warm once again. 

“Don’t worry, if no one wants you, our Niel will always be ready to give you some love,” Jisung joked, and Jihoon suddenly realised that Daniel hadn’t spoke since they started eating.

Seongwoo made a disgusted expression. “I’d really be nuts if that ever happens.”

-

Jihoon wasn’t sure if it was normal for Daniel to drink this much. Although he wasn’t paying close attention to the number of bottles coming to their table, Jihoon was sure Daniel had easily drunk three bottles on his own. Jisung and Seongwoo weren’t too concerned with Daniel, so Jihoon brushed off the bad intuition he had.

It was on Daniel’s 5th bottle that Jisung and Seongwoo started to look uneasy. 

“Niel, you should stop. I know you’re happy but you shouldn’t drink so much,” Jisung whispered disapprovingly as Daniel ordered another bottle from the waitress.

“Why, hyung? You’re paying, right?” Daniel smiled, but it didn’t look very friendly to Jihoon. Was he still upset that he couldn’t dance today? Jisung’s expression hardened, but decided not to say anything to Daniel.

“We should get going, it’s pretty late,” Daehwi said. Jihoon thought Daehwi could sense the atmosphere getting worse as time went by as well. Jihoon nodded in agreement, and Jinyoung started to pack his bag as well.

“Don’t go, the night is still young, let’s go have some fun,” Daniel commented. 

Jihoon didn’t like this side of Daniel. He was still smiling, but Jihoon sensed a tinge of frustration in his voice. Something about him told Jihoon that he wasn’t in the right state of mind to be talking to them now.

“Okay, get a good rest,” Jisung said, Seongwoo and Woojin waved goodbye to the trio as they took their leave. Daniel wouldn’t look straight at Jihoon, Jihoon decided it wasn’t the time to be concerned, and left without a second look.

-

“Was it just me or was Daniel acting really weird back there?” Daehwi commented as soon as they were out of earshot. Jinyoung hummed in agreement.

“Maybe he’s still bummed out about the competition,” Jihoon said.

“Maybe,” Daehwi’s brows furrowed. “Anyway, tell me more about Guanlin. When can we meet him?”

-

Jihoon had somehow allowed Daehwi and Jinyoung to persuade him into agreeing to let them have a video call with Guanlin on the way back home. Jihoon tried to wriggle his way out of this sticky situation by complaining that he was tired, but Daehwi wasn’t going to let him go this time. And half an hour later, the three were in their room, making a call to Jihoon’s special person.

Jihoon’s heart started to race as the phone started to ring, Guanlin’s dial tone hadn’t changed, it was still his favourite ballad song that Jihoon had introduced to him when they first became friends last year. It was Jihoon’s first time to meet Guanlin through a video call as well.

“I’m so nervous,” Daehwi quipped.

“It’s not like you’re calling your boyfriend or anything,” Jinyoung rolled his eyes. Jihoon heard Daehwi draw in a breath.

“Not now, please,” Jihoon begged. Now was not a good time for the two to start arguing again. 

Jihoon started to feel the butterflies in his stomach start flying about again when Guanlin picked up.

“Hold on, how do I turn the video mode on?” Guanlin’s voice filled the room. A smile crept onto Jihoon’s lips. Guanlin’s voice was enough for his heart to start doing backflips in his chest again.

“Oh, I found it. Is it working? Do you see me? I see you! Oh, who’s that behind you?” the video was blurry at first, then Jihoon saw Guanlin’s face start to form. He was wearing his glasses again, he was probably studying before Jihoon called him.

“Hey,” Jihoon managed to say. “Are we disturbing you?”

The video was shaky for a moment as Guanlin attempted to clean his side of the room by throwing his dirty clothes into the cupboard as if they couldn't see the entire process.

“Of course not, I’m glad you called, I missed you!” Jihoon could now see Guanlin clearly. He was wearing a striped shirt with his signature black sweatpants.

“My roommates wanted to meet you, so here we are,” Jihoon explained and handed the phone over to Daehwi and mouthed the words “introduce yourself”.

“Hi! I’m Daehwi, Jihoon’s roommate. He really didn’t want us to call and disturb you, but I think you missed Jihoon as well so…” Daehwi was a natural and starting conversations with complete strangers, Jihoon wished he could be as outgoing as him. 

“I’m Jinyoung, Jihoon’s roommate as well,” Jinyoung said when Daehwi passed the phone over to him and quickly handed it back to Jihoon. Of course, Jinyoung was always consistent in that way.

“Ah! I know you two, Jihoon talks about you guys a lot,” Guanlin said. “You probably already know, but I’m Guanlin, thanks for taking of Jihoon while I’m not there.”

“Well, we’re getting sick of him so you should come and get him quickly,” Daehwi joked and Jihoon shot his friend a glare.

It turned out that letting Guanlin and his friends converse wasn’t such a bad idea at all. The half an hour they spent talking felt like a dream to Jihoon. Hearing Guanlin’s voice and even seeing him on screen made Jihoon feel as if he was here with him. 

“It’s late, you should get some rest,” Jihoon told Guanlin.

“I will. You guys too okay?” Guanlin waved goodbye.

“Bye, see you soon,” Jihoon tried his best not to choke up when Guanlin hung up.

“Dibs on the bathroom!” Jinyoung yelled as soon as the call ended and sped past Daehwi into the bathroom. 

“I’ll take a walk outside,” Jihoon said to no one to in particular and left the room before Daehwi could ask him any questions. It was hard every time to say goodbye to someone Jihoon wanted to spend all his time with.

**From: Guanlin**

**I had fun talking to you and your friends. Just the two of us next time, though? I miss you.**

A hand suddenly grabbed Jihoon’s shoulder even before he could reply Guanlin.

“Jesus. You scared me, at least call out for me next time,” Jihoon tried not to yell since it was late.

It was Daniel, with bloodshot eyes, standing in front of him. Jihoon could smell the alcohol on Daniel, how much more did he drink after they left? A tear slid down Daniel’s cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand almost immediately.

“Daniel, are you okay? What happened?” Jihoon took a closer at Daniel, but he had somehow triggered another flood of tears from Daniel.

“It’s just that… it’s… such a shame,” Daniel managed to choke out. Jihoon was at a loss for words, he had never expected Daniel, who was always smiling, to break down in front of him like that. Jihoon tried to soothe Daniel’s tears by placing a hand on his back.

“What’s a shame? Is it about the dance competition? It’s not a shame, you’re moving onto the second round, aren’t you?” Jihoon looked around desperately for help from Seongwoo or Jisung whom he hoped was standing around, but no one was in sight.

“It’s such a shame,” Daniel repeated, then stopped. He appeared to be trying to say something. Jihoon didn’t think he had seen anyone so miserable in his life

“It’s a shame, Park Jihoon,” Daniel choked out his tears. “That you already have someone else.”

-

Jihoon was the papers on the table when Jisung took his seat beside him. They were conducting auditions for the film today with a few other Year 3s, and Jisung had insisted he be present. “You know your script best,” Jisung had said.

However, the script wasn’t something Jihoon had on his mind that afternoon. As one of the club members were organising the people who were here for the audition, Jihoon finally gathered his courage to ask Jisung the question that had been bugging him since the night before.

“Hyung…” Jihoon started out.

Jisung only hummed in response. He looked tired.

“Did… Daniel drink a lot last night?” 

“Niel? I think he drank quite a bit, he likes drinking,” Jisung commented, flipping through the profiles of the students who were auditioning that day.

“Does he say weird stuff when he’s drunk?” Jihoon probed Jisung for more answers.

“He gets a little emotional sometimes, then he starts crying and says he loves us and all.” Jisung paused before continuing. “Why? Did he say something to you?

Yeah, he did. Something really weird.

“No, I was just curious,” Jihoon said and decided to leave it as that. 

Nothing special happened last night. Daniel was just tipsy, and said some weird things, right? It didn’t mean, and shouldn’t have meant anything to Jihoon, but he just couldn’t forget how heartbroken Daniel looked as he uttered those words to him. It was almost as if…

“Alright, let’s have the first audition stage begin,” Jisung announced and there was silence. Jihoon decided to forget about the previous night. After all, it meant nothing to him, or to Daniel.

But why did he feel like it did?

**(Daniel)**

Daniel regretted his decision as soon as he woke up that morning. His head throbbed, serving as a reminder of the 6 bottles of beer he had on his own last night. No doubt he had a commendable tolerance for alcohol, he knew he had crossed the line. He looked over at his clock.

It was already noon. He had missed his morning class due to his hangover.

“Feel any better?” Seongwoo asked as soon as he came out of the bathroom.

“You didn’t go for class either?” Daniel sat up and groaned, his head still banging. 

Seongwoo grabbed a towel for his wet hair before shaking his head. “I had to make sure you weren’t acting like some kind of madman when you woke up.”

He could barely remember anything from yesterday. There was the dance competition, and they moved on to the second round. Then, they went out for dinner with Jihoon and his friends to celebrate. The sick feeling in Daniel’s stomach started to grow as he pieced the memories of the previous day together.

He recalled Jisung asking Jihoon about his boyfriend. That was probably when Daniel had started to zone out of the conversation. He remembered ordering bottle after bottle of bear, then nothing.

“I’m so sorry,” Daniel buried his face in his hands. If he didn’t remember how he got back to the dorm, he must’ve been so drunk that his friends had to take him back themselves. 

“Great, so you remember how much you owe the three of us,” Seongwoo commented. Yeah, with the way Seongwoo was acting he probably was still pissed he had to spend his night dragging Daniel back to the dorms.

“I carried you back here when you had that fight too,” Daniel commented, earning himself another glare from Seongwoo. “And I did it on my own.”

“At least you had to carry me back once, I had to drag your sorry and alcohol reeking ass back to bed twice. I even changed your clothes for you and threw them in the laundry because you smelt so bad,” Seongwoo raised his voice.

Wait, twice? Daniel didn’t remember anything from last night.

“Even Jihoon had to call for me and ask me to help him carry you back here,” Seongwoo scoffed, as if it were some kind of joke to him.

“I was with Jihoon?” Daniel started to get more confused. 

“You’re a real goner, you know that?” Seongwoo sighed. “Yes, I brought you back here, and you said you needed a walk. The next thing I know Jihoon’s calling me at 1am in the morning because he’s stuck my drunk friend and can’t move him on his own.”

Daniel listened in horror as Seongwoo related the previous night’s events to him. Some of the memories were coming back to him in pictures now. Why was he with Jihoon? And did he say something he shouldn’t have?

It was slowly coming back to him now, he remembered the chill of the night breeze, and how he had saw Jihoon from afar still in his tiger mascot shirt from yesterday. Closing his eyes, Daniel tried to recall what had happened then. 

Jihoon had his back facing him, and Daniel remembered his legs carrying him to Jihoon. He felt something wet slide down his face. Was he crying?

He put one hand on Jihoon’s shoulder, scaring him. Jihoon was saying something about calling out for him. Daniel was really crying now. Why was he crying like a loser in front of Jihoon? Daniel already felt embarrassed and wasn’t sure if he could face Jihoon anymore after today. 

Was there more? Now Jihoon was asking why he was crying, and Daniel was crying like a baby, mumbling about something being a shame. Suddenly, Daniel’s heart grew heavy. He prayed the Daniel in the flashback scenes wouldn’t say it, but in his heart, he knew the deed had been done.

“It’s such a shame, Park Jihoon. That you already have someone else.”

“No, no, no, no, no!” Daniel opened his eyes in shock and started to realise the severity of the situation at hand. Knocking his head on the wall beside his bed, Daniel finally started to feel the throbbing in his head go away, but the sick feeling in his stomach was much worse.

“Careful there, don’t want you damaging another organ or Jisung will kill me, and then you,” Seongwoo cast Daniel a strange look before leaving the room.

Did he just drunk confess to Jihoon about his feelings?

No, wait. What feelings? The feeling of dread started to creep into Daniel. 

He had managed to wonderfully and perfectly ruin everything for Jihoon and himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things aren't looking too great for #teamDaniel :(
> 
> tell me what you liked about this chapter, and i'll see you on the next one!


	8. make room for me

**(Daniel)**

Daniel had spent the past hour pacing about in his room for a solution for his situation. He couldn’t simply ignore Jihoon for the rest of the year, plus Seongwoo and Jisung would notice and probe him for an answer. Then again, was he supposed to tell Jihoon, “Yeah, I like you” when he knew that Jihoon already had a boyfriend?

Daniel got up from his bed to wash up and put on some presentable clothes. Even though it was going to be awkward, he decided he wasn’t going to give up on their friendship, or whatever was left of it. Jisung had mentioned that he was going to be conducting auditions today, so Jihoon had to be with Jisung at the hall.

-

“One iced caramel latte and a hot cappuccino, please. Oh, and make it a takeaway.” Daniel fished out his wallet from his pocket and paid for his drinks. He had come up with a genius excuse on the way to the café.

It’s so hard to live in a world of one-sided love, Daniel sighed. His wallet looked even emptier than before after paying for the coffee. He had to ask his managers for more hours this week to make up for this again. 

Picking up the two cups of coffee he had ordered, Daniel gathered his courage and made his way to the hall where Jihoon was. If not now, when would he have another chance to make it up to Jihoon for the way he acted last night?

-

“Niel? What are you doing here?” Jisung asked, confused at the sight Daniel at the front door where he was pacing back and forth. He was feeling confident on the way here, but once he started to approach the hall, Daniel started to get cold feet.

“I uh… got you coffee,” Daniel said and held up the cups of coffee he was holding in his free hand.

“Well, come in then. What are you doing standing there not doing anything, anyway?” Jisung opened the door for Daniel and he made his way into the hall. There were still students waiting for their turn to audition near the front door, but the boy he was looking for was nowhere in sight. 

“Here,” Daniel handed Jisung his favourite cappuccino. Jisung accepted it gratefully.

“Hyung, is Jihoon still here?” Daniel asked, as casually as he could manage.

Jisung was still looking through some notes he had written down earlier on before pointing in a general direction to Daniel’s right. “He should be over there, I’m not too sure either.” 

Daniel was about to leave to look for Jihoon when Jisung looked up from his notes, as if suddenly remembering something. “Did something happen between the two of you? Jihoon asked me if you drank a lot yesterday. He seemed pretty concerned for some reason.”

Daniel grimaced, so Jihoon did ask about the way Daniel was acting. Luckily, it seemed he didn’t tell Jisung about what Daniel had blurted out last night. 

“Nothing happened, hyung. Enjoy your coffee,” Daniel left before Jisung could ask him any more questions. 

Daniel managed to say hello to some people he recognised along the way to the backstage area, where he spotted a familiar pink hoodie poking out from the back.

“Jihoon?” Daniel called out, not knowing if he was allowed to be backstage.

“I’ll be there in a minute! Hold on,” Jihoon called back. Daniel nervously tried to style his hair neatly, and made sure that his clothes looked presentable before Jihoon stepped out, looking visibly tired.

“I brought you some coffee, I thought you might be tired,” Daniel explained. Jihoon stared at him for a good five seconds before accepting the coffee. Daniel was beginning to break out in cold sweat now. He was no mind reader, but he was sure Jihoon was thinking about the same thing as he was.

Daniel cleared his throat and made sure no one was in earshot before saying, “So, about last night.”

Jihoon nodded, as if he understood. “It was nothing, right?”

Daniel wanted more than anything to explain himself, explain to Jihoon how he felt about him, but he couldn’t. Daniel himself wasn’t sure about his feelings, and it just didn’t feel fair to put Jihoon in a spot like that.

“I drank a lot last night, and I might have said some things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry, really. It won’t happen again, I promise.” Daniel said while looking into the far distance. He knew he was an exceptionally bad liar, as told by Seongwoo and Jisung multiple times, so he couldn’t make eye contact with someone while telling a lie.

Jihoon pondered over Daniel’s explanation, both hands tightly wrapped around his cup of coffee. “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I thought, I didn’t take any of heart, so it’s all good. Let’s just move on from this, okay?”

They were still friends, and were going to treat last night like it didn’t even happen. Perfect.

“That’s good,” Daniel managed to say.

“Auditions are about to resume soon; don’t you have any classes today?” Jihoon asked.

Daniel didn’t. He pretended to check his phone, then said, “Yeah, I should get going. Good luck with the rest of the auditions.”

“Cool,” Jihoon smiled. “I’ll see you around, then.” Just like that, Jihoon tipped his coffee cup to Daniel as another expression of his thanks, then left to his seat below the stage.

Daniel tried to deny it, but his heart felt worse after clearing the air with Jihoon than it did before. He caught a glimpse of Jihoon chatting happily with a club member before he left the hall. Daniel should’ve been relieved Jihoon didn’t think anything of his confession last night, but he wasn’t. 

He knew Jihoon’s heart was fully occupied at the moment, but was it too much for Daniel to ask to let him in, even if it was just for a little bit?

-

Daniel was still moping around in his bed when Seongwoo returned from his extra classes. 

“You’re still in bed?” Seongwoo commented, sounding as condescending as he could. Daniel was staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to organise his thoughts.

“What’s up?” Seongwoo put down his bags and asked while fetching himself a can of beer from Daniel’s mini fridge. If Daniel couldn’t figure it out himself, maybe his annoying best friend could.

“You ever liked someone who already has someone else?” Daniel asked. “Asking for a friend.”

“Asking for a friend” was some kind of a bro-code established between him and Seongwoo, it meant something along the lines of “don’t ask, just answer.”

Seongwoo looked surprised, as if he didn’t expect Daniel to answer him. Opening his can of beer, Seongwoo didn’t answer him for a moment. He probably thinks I’m a nutcase, Daniel thought.

“No, never. It sounds shitty and miserable,” Seongwoo admitted. Daniel realised he rarely talked to Seongwoo about dating and liking other people. It was a small taboo topic between them, since Daniel knew how bad Seongwoo’s heart was broken in their first year here.

“It probably is,” Daniel said in response, deciding to drop the topic since he knew how bad Seongwoo could act up if they dove in too deep. The two sat in a room with a heavy silence between them, both unsure what to say or do next.

“Enough of this,” Seongwoo suddenly stood up and announced. “We both need to do something exciting tonight. Get up and get changed, you look like a mess.”

It was time for one of Seongwoo’s genius yet worst ideas to kick in again, and Daniel was definitely not in the mood for one of those. Daniel flopped back onto his bed to express his disinterest in whatever Seongwoo was about to propose.

“Come on, you can’t spend the rest of the week like this,” Seongwoo pulled Daniel’s blanket off him.

Seongwoo wasn’t going to let Daniel sleep peacefully unless he agreed to whatever Seongwoo was thinking of now. Groaning, he got out of bed and strangely felt better. Maybe going outside was a good idea, for once. 

-

“This was your idea of fun?” Daniel asked as they pulled up to a house just down the street from their college. There was obviously a big party going on down there, Daniel could already smell the alcohol from outside. He couldn’t be out here drinking after he had just recovered from his hangover and huge mistake from the previous night.

“No drinking, of course,” Seongwoo assured Daniel, as if he could read his mind. “We’re just here to forget about our worries.” Daniel found himself at the front door before he could even protest. He saw a few familiar faces inside, and allowed Seongwoo to drag him inside.

Daniel managed to talk catch up with a few people and consumed a minimal amount of alcohol in the time he had spent here. He was actually feeling pretty good before someone he had so wanted to get out of his mind stepped through the front door, and reality came crashing back down.

Fate had a strange way of toying with Daniel’s feelings.

**(Jihoon)**

Letting out a groan as he stretched his body after working on his research for the past two hours, Jihoon was starting to feel like he needed a break. Looking back at his roommates at their own tables, he could tell Jinyoung had given up a long time ago, his friend had put his head down on his table.

Daehwi slammed his textbook shut, waking Jinyoung up from his peaceful short nap.

“We can’t be doing this now,” Daehwi said. 

“What are you talking about? We need to submit this this Friday,” Jinyoung was now awake and started to work on his assignment again. 

“We still have Wednesday and Thursday. We’re in Year 1, in college. We shouldn’t be here dedicating our lives to the books yet,” Daehwi was now addressing the both of them, and Jihoon nodded, unconsciously getting sucked in by Daehwi’s motivational speech. 

“We should be out there, having fun,” Daehwi concluded. 

Jihoon agreed. “So, like a good dinner? I’ve had my eyes on this eatery down the road for days. We should treat ourselves to good food once in a while.”

Daehwi had a strange smile on his face. “I have a better idea.”

-

Jihoon had no recollection of how Daehwi had persuaded the three of them to go to a party none of them were invited to. He only started to realise the consequences their actions could have when they were standing in front of the house, with loud music that could be heard a mile away and the excited chatter of people inside indicating Jihoon had to socialize with people he didn’t know.

“What are you waiting for? Come in,” a girl standing at the front porch opened the door for the three of them even though they clearly didn’t know each other. Jihoon had never experienced something like this before.

The bright disco lights against the contrasting darkness caught Jihoon’s attention as soon as he entered the house. He looked around for familiar faces but found none. 

“Let’s go,” Daehwi grabbed his friends and walked further into the house. They passed a group of people playing what Jihoon recognised as beer pong from watching YouTube videos. Another group of people were at the back yard, swimming in a pool as big as his bedroom back home. Everything fascinated Jihoon, this party was definitely on a different scale.

During the time when Jihoon was distracted by the different activities taking place, he realised he had lost both of his friends in the big crowd. There was no sign of either of them in the kitchen either, where Jihoon had discovered another big crowd lining up for drinks. 

Jihoon turned to search for his friends in other parts of the house, but bumped into someone walking into the kitchen.

“Oops, I’m sorry,” Jihoon quickly apologised. 

“That’s okay. Are you here alone?” Jihoon looked up and discovered a boy who was just a bit taller than him.

Jihoon tried to tiptoe to look out for Daehwi and Jinyoung, but they were still nowhere in sight.

“I’m actually here with my friends, I lost them somewhere,” Jihoon craned his neck, he was starting to get anxious.

“You can hang with me while you look for them, why don’t you grab yourself a drink?” the boy asked.

“I actually don’t drink, thanks though,” Jihoon smiled and tried to leave to look for his friends but the boy grabbed his wrist before he could leave.

“Don’t go, have a drink with me.”

Jihoon gritted his teeth but remained calm. “Let go of me.” The boy’s grip only tightened.

“Jihoon, is he bothering you?” a familiar voice came from behind. As if answering Jihoon’s prayers, Daniel appeared and slightly pushed the boy away from Jihoon, breaking his grip on Jihoon’s wrist.

“I’m fine now, thank you,” Jihoon said but Daniel didn’t seem to hear him as he was glaring at the boy who had now locked eyes with Daniel. The air was starting to turn chilly between the two, and Jihoon was starting to sense that it wasn’t just about what had happened earlier. Daniel looked around, then leaned closer to the boy who had now started to back away from him.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to pull here by appearing here, but take my advice and leave. You messed with my friend but I’m letting you off because I don’t want to create a scene with Seongwoo here.”

Daniel then turned back to Jihoon. “Shall we go?”

Jihoon nodded, taking Daniel’s hand, careful not to lose himself in the crowd this time.

-

“Thank you,” Jihoon could finally breathe now that he had escaped from the crowd of people inside. Jihoon had spotted Daehwi and Jinyoung on the way out, but they looked like they were having fun with other people and Jihoon didn’t want to interrupt.

“You’re welcome, are you okay?” Daniel asked.

“I’m fine,” Jihoon said. “Did you know that guy back there?”

Shaking his head, Daniel said, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s funny,” Jihoon commented. “Every time I go to a party, something happens. I’m not made to have fun like this, it seems.” Daniel laughed too, it was almost too coincidental that both times Jihoon had attended a party, something unordinary happened.

“Then let’s try another way,” Daniel said and stood up. “Follow me.”

Jihoon followed Daniel down the street to where his motorcycle was parked. 

“Whoa! Is this bike yours?”

“My one and only. Put this on,” Daniel handed Jihoon a helmet he took out from the back of the motorcycle.

“I can’t do it, I’m scared,” Jihoon admitted. He definitely wasn’t an adrenaline junkie, and preferred staying indoors instead of looking for adventure outside. Speeding on a motorcycle was definitely not on his bucket list in this lifetime.

“Come on,” Daniel encouraged. “I won’t go fast, promise. You’ll feel better after a ride. I always do.”

Jihoon’s hands tightened around his helmet and Daniel got onto the motorbike before Jihoon could protest against it. Drawing in a deep breath, he got on behind Daniel.

“Hold on tight,” Daniel said and sped off.

Jihoon closed his eyes on the initial part of the journey. His heart was racing as fast as they were going. Then, he started to get used to the speed and opened his eyes. 

They were riding around the campus, and Jihoon had never noticed how pretty it looked from afar. The cars zooming past them scared him at first, then he started to appreciate the wind blowing directly into his face. Jihoon felt relaxed, free and happy.

“This is amazing,” Jihoon unconsciously admitted. Daniel laughed, stepping on the accelerator and Jihoon held onto him tighter.

“Your shoulders are so broad, I can’t see anything in front of me,” Jihoon complained, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

“Shortie,” Daniel teased. Jihoon was about to argue when Daniel turned onto the main road and rode pass a river Jihoon never knew existed. The reflection of the moon on the waterbed took Jihoon’s breath away, it reminded of him and Guanlin skipping stones together every afternoon after school. 

There was only more to come. Tall office buildings stood in front of Jihoon, and he saw the subway speeding on the railway tracks. He saw parks where some couples were riding their bicycles at. Jihoon had realised how much he missed the city sights since he had been “kept hostage” in college the past seven weeks.

Finally, Jihoon started to recognise the familiar street they were travelling on and before he could ask for more, they were back at the party. Only half an hour had passed, but to Jihoon it felt like a dream.

“Thank you, that was beyond breath-taking,” Jihoon meant every word he said as he handed the helmet back to Daniel.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you had fun for once,” Daniel said. “Let’s get back before anyone finds out we went on a secret getaway.”

Jihoon wasn’t sure when he started wishing for something else. But when he saw Daniel, with his hair still messy from the strong wind and his black jacket clinging onto his broad shoulders for dear life, Jihoon started to wish that the previous night meant something to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i included a sneak peak of Seongwoo's personal story in this update - which i sadly won't be addressing in this story. Do let me know if you're interested in his story and i might just write about that after i finish this fic!
> 
> anyway, it seems Daniel has finally managed to crack open some room in Jihoon's fully occupied heart :) I'm working on the next chapter as fast as i can for you guys!
> 
> as always, i love reading your comments and reactions to this new chapter. take care and i'll see you in the next one!


	9. home is wherever you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, we've reached the chapter I've been waiting to write for the longest time
> 
> enjoy!

**(Jihoon)**

With the thoughts of the ride with Daniel still lingering through his mind, Jihoon couldn’t bring himself to go to sleep. His heart still raced at the thought of how carefree and happy he felt in that exact moment they sped down the city highway together. 

But there was something about tonight that just felt so wrong and out of place to Jihoon. Jihoon kicked off his blankets and switched on the desk lamp on his table. Crossing out that day’s date on his calendar, Jihoon realised he was only two and a half weeks away from returning home. Time had passed too fast in the past few weeks, and Jihoon had lost track of counting down the days to the term break.

The framed picture of Guanlin and him with lollipops in their mouth stared at Jihoon straight in the face, as if it knew what Jihoon had done. Facing the photo frame downwards, Jihoon decided to forget about that night and head to bed.

There was a strange feeling in his chest. It was pain, but not the type of pain Jihoon had experienced before. “His heart hurt” was too much a misleading description, but it did. Jihoon came to the realisation that he was scared, he was scared to lose Guanlin. Most of all, Jihoon was scared that he would start to unconsciously develop feelings for a certain boy with messy hair and broad shoulders.

He wondered how a happy memory like tonight could somehow feel so right, yet so wrong.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel had decided to keep his distance from Jihoon unless absolutely necessary. He wasn’t avoiding Jihoon, he had just decided not to give himself any false hope anymore. Daniel thought he should know better than to mess with a relationship as perfect as Jihoon’s and his boyfriend.

It wasn’t easy at first, Daniel stopped himself multiple times from buying coffee and lunch for Jihoon who was busy with the starting of the filming of the film. He found himself thinking of Jihoon whenever he rode his motorcycle to work, then thought of Jihoon again whenever someone purchased banana or strawberry milk at the convenience store he worked at.

Then the term exams came, and Daniel was thankful for the stress that exams gave him for the first time in his life. He even let Seongwoo drag him to the library to study during the week leading up to their exams, and spent most of his time in there. Normally, Daniel wasn’t anywhere near a straight As student, but he still tried to maintain an average grade to graduate. His mind rarely drifted to Jihoon those two weeks.

-

“I have an amazing idea,” Jisung said, his face stuffed with rice. The four friends were having dinner together one night after studying.

“I have a feeling I won’t want to hear this,” Woojin muttered. Jisung decided to ignore Woojin’s snarky remark and focused his attention on Seongwoo and Daniel, who probably looked willing to at least listen to what Jisung had to say.

“We should all go for a short vacation,” Jisung exclaimed. 

“I have to work,” Daniel said. As much as he wished he could go for a short break, he had to work regularly in order to pay for his school fees. 

“Niel, listen to me. Three days won’t do anything, we all need a break. We’ve been friends for three years, and we haven’t had a single vacation together?” Jisung had started to reason, it was almost as if he had already predicted that Daniel would use work as an excuse. 

“Okay, but where would we go? Reminder; we’re poor college students that can barely afford pizza for dinner,” Seongwoo said. Woojin nodded in agreement.

“Not to worry, my mother has agreed to house all of us broke college students at my house for two nights. It’s not much, but we could have pillow fights, watch movies, gossip?” Jisung twirled his hair with his finger, and the rest of them laughed in agreement.

It didn’t sound all that bad to Daniel. His manager wouldn’t mind giving him two days off, and he could probably make up for it by working more after he came back. 

“I’m in,” Daniel said. 

“Me too,” Woojin quipped. Seongwoo hummed in agreement. Jisung beamed with pride and joy as they began to talk about the things they wanted to do back in Jisung’s hometown. 

The vacation sounded almost perfect to Daniel.

**(Jihoon)**

Unlike Daehwi and Jinyoung who had their heads buried in their books in the two weeks leading up to the exams, Jihoon only had one final assignment to work on and submit. While the two were usually in their dorms studying, Jihoon would make frequent trips to the library to do some research. 

He spotted Daniel studying in the library studying with Seongwoo many times, but never found it in himself to go up and say hi. Since the night of the party, Jihoon and Daniel had barely talked. They had no chances to, and Jihoon decided to be as cautious as he could with his feelings for Daniel. Jihoon had decided to push that memory of riding with Daniel out of his mind, it wouldn’t do good for either of them if he kept bringing it up anyway.

It wasn’t easy at first. Whenever someone rode into the campus on their motorcycle, Jihoon would instantly be reminded of that night. When he was with Jisung on set for filming, he half expected Daniel to turn up with two cups of coffee in his hands.

There were only three days left of school left, but to Jihoon it meant three days left till he returned home to someone he missed the most.

**From: Guanlin**

**What time is your train arriving? I’ll be waiting for you at the platform.**

Jihoon didn’t realise how fast time passed until the texts between Guanlin and him went from “I miss you” to making actual plans as to what they would do when they met.

**To: Guanlin**

**I’m taking the 9am train, so I should be there around noon!**

Jihoon had long concluded that being confused about Daniel as a result of long distance screwing with his mind. Now that he was hours away from meeting Guanlin again, Jihoon finally felt like everything was going to go back to normal.

-

The day finally came, and Jihoon hugged Jinyoung and Daehwi goodbye at the train station. His friends were both going back home for the week. 

“I’m going to miss you guys so much,” Daehwi said.

“Don’t be dramatic, it’s just a week,” Jinyoung rolled his eyes. 

“Be safe on the journey home, tell me all about what you did with Guanlin when we get back,” Daehwi gushed, then paused. “Except the nasty details. Spare me those.”

Jihoon laughed, and waved goodbye to his friends one last time before they both left for another platform. With his train ticket held tightly in his right hand, Jihoon couldn’t believe he was finally waiting for the train that would take him back to Guanlin.

**To: Guanlin**

**I’m boarding the train now. See you in three hours! I can’t wait to come home to you.**

**From: Guanlin**

**I’m going to give you the biggest hug when I see you.**

“Jihoon!” a voice called out from the crowed. Craning his neck, Jihoon tried to figure out who was calling out for him in the large crowd of commuters.

Jisung emerged from the crowd, with a luggage in his right hand and a ticket in this left.

“Are you taking this train too?” Jihoon asked excitedly. Jisung nodded his head. Jihoon let out a relieved sigh, he was wondering how he was going to spend the three hours on the train alone. He also knew he would be a nervous wreck when they neared the destination, so he was glad he had someone familiar to accompany him.

“Going back home?” Jihoon asked.

“Yep, I’m bringing the kids home with me,” Jisung said and glanced at his watch before looking around for something. “I hope they’re not lost. They said they wanted to get sandwiches for the ride there.”

Before Jihoon could register what Jisung had just said, he recognised Seongwoo’s lanky body frame appear from the crowd, with a luggage in his hand walking towards them. Jisung then waved Woojin over, a sandwich in his left hand. At that moment, Jihoon was well aware who was next.

Daniel appeared, his hair un-styled and messy. He struggled to hold his luggage, his train ticket and sandwich all at once. 

“Jihoon? You’re here too!” Woojin exclaimed. Daniel looked up from the mess he was trying to manage and locked eyes with Jihoon. Unsure of what to do or say, Jihoon lowered his gaze.

“Here I am,” Jihoon smiled meekly. Suddenly, a three-hour train ride with people he knew didn’t seem as inviting anymore. 

-

Jihoon was trying to focus on the movie he had downloaded onto his phone, but Daniel sitting right next to him wasn’t helping him to do just that. So many thoughts were running through Jihoon’s mind, like why he had ended up sitting next to someone he had avoided for the past two weeks.

To be exact, Jisung had paired Woojin and Seongwoo together, then Daniel and Jihoon. Jisung came up with an excuse saying he needed “some peace and quiet”, which was ironic to Jihoon since Jisung was the one making noise most of the time.

Daniel took out the sandwich he had bought previously and without saying anything, handed half to Jihoon.

It was a tuna sandwich, Jihoon’s favourite. 

“I’m fine, thanks though,” Jihoon said.

“You probably didn’t eat any breakfast, given how nervous you look,” Daniel said, and Jihoon accepted the sandwich gratefully.

“Are you all having a sleepover?” Jihoon asked and Daniel smiled.

“Jisung’s idea,” Daniel whispered. “Don’t tell him we agreed only because it’s his last year her in school.”

“What are you watching, by the way?” Daniel asked as he pointed to the movie Jihoon had paused.

“It’s something Daehwi recommended to me for the long train ride,” Jihoon said. He had a burning question, but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask.

“Do you want to watch it together?” Jihoon asked. He felt his face redden as he held up the right side of his earphones for Daniel. Daniel looked taken aback as well, before nodding and got comfortable in his seat.

Maybe the movie was just boring, and maybe Daehwi had a bad taste in movies, but Jihoon didn’t pay one bit of attention to the story. All he could think of was the boy he was sharing his earphones with.

-

“Attention all passengers, we will be arriving at our destination in 5 minutes. Once again, we thank you for taking Seoul railways and we hope to see you again.”

If the announcement didn’t wake Jihoon up, the bright rays of sunlight peeking through the train window sure did. He looked out and discovered familiar buildings. There was a shopping mall he had gone to with Guanlin once, and a familiar stream running along the side of the subway.

Jihoon wasn’t sure at what point of the movie he had fallen asleep, but he was now wide awake and his heart racing. He quickly styled his hair and packed his bag and got ready to get off the train. He had almost forgotten about Daniel, who was also sound asleep next to him. 

“We’re here,” Jihoon gently shook Daniel and he woke up almost immediately, rubbing his tired eyes and squinted at the bright sunlight shining through the windows.

Jihoon was bursting with excitement as the train platform came into sight. All his mind was filled with was how Guanlin looked like now, and how badly he wanted to jump into his boyfriend’s arms the past ten weeks he was away.

The train slowed to a stop, and Jihoon scrambled to grab his luggage from above. The doors opened, but Jihoon didn’t spot who he was looking for yet.

“See you, Jihoon! Have a good trip back home,” Jisung called out to Jihoon, who was still waiting for the rest to grab their stuff. Waving back to Jisung, Jihoon stepped out of the train.

One particular boy stood out from the crowd with his tall figure and big, round glasses that took up half his face. He had spotted Jihoon, and was pushing through the crowd to get to him. Suddenly, Jihoon was unaware of the number of the people at the train station.

Jihoon’s legs carried him to the tall boy who now had his long arms outstretched, waiting for Jihoon to run into his arms.

Jihoon first felt Guanlin’s warm embrace against his own body, then he smelt the familiar scent of coffee on Guanlin’s clothes. Jihoon hugged his boyfriend as tightly as he had missed him.

Home, he was finally home. 

**(Daniel)**

He didn’t know whether to kiss or curse at Jisung when he made Daniel sit with Jihoon.

He didn’t know what to do when Jihoon offered to watch a movie with him either. Just 15 minutes into the movie, Daniel knew he would not be able to focus on it at all with Jihoon sitting next to him. Instead, Daniel found himself unconsciously looking at Jihoon’s long eyelashes, then at the mole on his right cheek. Then the dark brown locks of Jihoon’s hair.

He wasn’t sure when Jihoon fell asleep, but Daniel was at a loss when Jihoon’s head landed on his shoulder when the train made a turn.

Jihoon was sleeping so peacefully, Daniel didn’t have the heart to wake him up. Carefully, Daniel paused the movie and turned Jihoon’s handphone off. Using one hand to prop Jihoon’s head up, Daniel used another to take out Jihoon’s earphone. 

Daniel quickly glanced back at his friends to make sure none of them had noticed, but they were all fast asleep as well. How Daniel managed to take out his jacket and place it on Jihoon’s lap in case he got could was a mystery, but he let Jihoon sleep on his shoulder for a while.

“Enjoy it, Kang Daniel. There’ll never be another opportunity like this,” he told himself.

Before he knew it, Daniel was starting to fall asleep as well.

-

Daniel was woken up by the bright sunlight peeking through his eyelids. Jihoon was also gently shaking his arm as well. He rubbed his eyes and found his jacket back on his lap.

Jihoon was gazing out the window, then started to pack his bag. He wasn’t sure if Jihoon himself was aware, but Jihoon had started bouncing his leg up and down, and was clasping his hands together. When the train pulled into the station, Daniel got up to get his and Jihoon’s luggage down from the storage area.

“Whoa, it’s pretty heavy. What did you put in there?” Daniel joked, but it seemed like Jihoon hadn’t heard him. Jihoon smiled, grabbed his luggage and brisk walked towards the train doors. 

Daniel heard Jisung call out to Jihoon, but didn’t hear a reply. When he turned around to look for Jihoon, he was already gone. 

“We have to take a bus to my house, it’s that way,” Jisung said when they were all gathered on the platform.

Before they could take another step forward, Daniel saw Jihoon. But Jihoon wasn’t looking at him, he wasn’t even looking in their general direction.

Jihoon had the brightest smile plastered on his face, and Daniel wondered if Jihoon knew that his smile was contagious. Daniel felt a small tug on his lips while looking ahead at Jihoon.

Then, Jihoon started to run. To someone he had spotted in the crowd.

It was a tall boy, and he wore rounded spectacles, but most importantly, he was smiling as brightly as Jihoon.

Jihoon dived into the boy’s arms, and he fit perfectly into the boy’s embrace. 

That was when Daniel felt his whole world come crashing down. 

Daniel knew that Jihoon had someone else, it just never seemed real to him when he wasn’t around. Now seeing the boy he had so longed for look so happy in someone else’s arms, Daniel was positive his heart had been smashed into a million pieces.

Blinking back his tears, Daniel turned towards his friends that were now arguing over something. He couldn’t hear anything, and his vision was now blurry.

Jisung was now leading them in the opposite direction, and Daniel caught one last glance of Jihoon before he left. The boy was now holding Jihoon’s luggage in his right hand, his left holding Jihoon’s hand tightly, and it was no surprise to Daniel that their hands fit together so perfectly as well.

Of course. 

It was his own fault for thinking that he, Kang Daniel; someone who had nothing, could stand a chance with someone like Park Jihoon; who had everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was an emotional roller-coaster ride from the start to the end.
> 
> i love reading all your comments, and i promise i won't keep you waiting too long for the next update.
> 
> trust me, I've only just gotten started on this story. this is where things start to take a turn.
> 
> take care, and i'll see you on the next update! :)


	10. hot and cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the love on the previous chapter, and i'm so sorry for this later than usual update.
> 
> i got really sick over the past few days, but your comments made me feel better again!
> 
> enjoy this next update!

**(Jihoon)**

“Did you grow taller in the past 10 weeks I haven’t seen you?” Guanlin asked, still holding Jihoon close to him. Jihoon smiled, trust that to be Guanlin’s first question to his boyfriend after meeting him for the first time in weeks. He loved that about Guanlin though, how he was predictably unpredictable.

Jihoon pulled away and took Guanlin’s hand instinctively. Guanlin’s hands were warm as always, and they fit perfectly into Jihoon’s. Jihoon couldn’t help but look at Guanlin in wonder, as if he were some sort of mystical creature.

“Stop staring at me like that it makes me want to hug you again,” Guanlin said, leading the way towards the bus terminal to take Jihoon home. Jihoon snapped out of his daydream and started to blush, he didn’t mean to be so obvious.

Tiptoeing to reach Guanlin’s height, he whispered, “Well, maybe you should.” Now, it was Guanlin’s turn to get flustered.

“Let’s get you home to your mom first, I bet she missed you more than I did,” Guanlin said, still trying to manoeuvre his way through the crowd. This is exactly what he loved about Guanlin. Not only did he care about Jihoon, he cared about Jihoon’s family – in this case, his mother, as well. 

Jihoon’s mother wasn’t always in the pink of health, and she fell sick quite easily. This was one of Jihoon’s biggest worries when he was accepted to a college a three-hour journey away from home. He couldn’t thank his guardian angels enough for Guanlin, who constantly checked up on Jihoon’s mother when he was away from home.

“Has she been doing well?” Jihoon asked as they got onto the bus and took the seat at the back.

“She’s been doing great. She was pretty sad the first two weeks you were gone, but she took up some cooking classes with her friends recently. She made really good food for me,” Guanlin said as he recited to Jihoon some of the dishes she had learnt to made in class.

Jihoon felt guilty at first for not keeping in touch with his mother when he was at school, but she had refused to make any calls to him because phone bills were expensive. Jihoon’s mother wasn’t very good at using new technology either. Guanlin and Jihoon had tried to teach her how to use KakaoTalk before he left for college, but soon gave up when they realised they were going nowhere with it.

Jihoon thought that Guanlin was just trying to alleviate Jihoon’s worries about his mother by saying he would check up on her regularly. He didn’t expect Guanlin to actually keep to his word.

Just a year ago, Jihoon’s mother couldn’t hide her shock when Jihoon brought Guanlin home after school one day and told her they had been dating for a month. Looking back, Jihoon couldn’t blame his mother from reacting that way. He had always been a quiet boy who preferred reading books in his room rather than going out with his friends from school, not that he had many in the first place.

He could only imagine the thoughts running through his mother’s mind when her quiet son brought home a tall, foreign boy who could barely hold a conversation in Korean with people. That night, when Guanlin went home, his mother sat him down for a serious talk.

“You know I love you, right?” she asked. Jihoon nodded.

“And you know I have so many questions in my mind now, right?” she continued, rubbing her temples.

Jihoon held his breath. He had seen this scenario coming many times before he had finally decided to bring Guanlin home to meet his mother. He just prayed it wouldn’t be as bad as similar situations could get.

Then she said something that made Jihoon realise that his mother loved him selflessly and endlessly.

“But I believe you. And if you think this boy can make you happy, I’m willing to give him a chance as well.”

Tears welled up in Jihoon’s eyes almost instantly. He knew it wouldn’t have been easy for his mother to say something like that to him. Usually, she did her duties as her mother but never liked poking into Jihoon’s business. That was the first time he had a serious talk with his mother.

Only good things came to Jihoon and his mother with Guanlin around. As Guanlin’s Korean improved, he could make jokes with Jihoon’s mother easily. Jihoon wasn’t used to hearing laughter in their household, but he finally started to feel the love and happiness blooming in his house as time went by.

-

Jihoon’s mother was waiting for them at the front door when they got back. Jihoon wasn’t sure if she had gotten skinner or it was just because he hadn’t seen her in a long time.

“Hi, mom,” Jihoon said, giving her a big hug.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re back,” Jihoon’s mother said, then waved to Guanlin who was behind him.

“Was the journey here long?” she asked and Jihoon shook his head. Not with Guanlin, it didn’t feel long.

“Get your stuff inside and we’ll go out for some lunch,” she smiled as Guanlin helped Jihoon move his luggage inside.

Jihoon’s room still looked the same. It felt strange to see only one bed when he was used to seeing three. His posters of his favourite music artistes were still up on his wall and his books were still neatly arranged on his desk.

“I’m tired,” Guanlin said before plopping down onto Jihoon’s bed. Normally, Jihoon didn’t like people other than him sitting on his bed, much less lying down. But Guanlin was practically a member of the household, and Jihoon had gotten used to seeing Guanlin on his bed, (not in that way) with his long legs hanging off the end.

“You can’t be tired yet, there’s so many thing I want to do,” Jihoon pouted but took a seat beside Guanlin anyway.

Groaning, Guanlin complained, “Lie down with me and let’s rest for a while. I couldn’t get any sleep last night because I was too excited to see you again.”

Grudgingly, Jihoon lay down beside Guanlin and felt his eyes begin to flutter shut. The excitement that had piled up for days probably made him tired. 

“See, you’re tired too,” Guanlin teased and Jihoon opened his eyes again to see Guanlin on lying down on his side facing him.

“Yes. You’ve tired me out,” Jihoon said.

Smiling so wide his pink gums showed, Guanlin pulled Jihoon closer to him.

“You’re impossible,” Jihoon lamented but he couldn’t help but smile. Guanlin’s face was so close to his now, as if reminding Jihoon how beautiful his boyfriend was. His perfectly shaped eyebrows, perfect nose bridge, cheek bones, lips.

“Boys! Let’s get going!” a voice from outside made both Guanlin and Jihoon jump off the bed and scramble to their feet. Laughing at the other’s shocked reaction, Guanlin grabbed Jihoon’s hands and they both left the room.

-

Jihoon’s day couldn’t have gone better. The three of them went out for pizza for lunch, and Guanlin ate a monstrous amount, but Jihoon’s mother didn’t mind. In fact, Jihoon suspected she chose this restaurant because of Guanlin’s great love for pizza.

Then Jihoon’s mother paid for lunch, handed Jihoon and Guanlin some money before they could protest against it and left in a rush for her afternoon cooking class. They decided to go for some ice-cream, quote Guanlin, “I could always do with more food” unquote.

When Guanlin volunteered to buy ice cream for them, Jihoon didn’t have the heart to say no. Scrolling through his Instagram feed, Jihoon smiled at the pictures he and Guanlin had took that day. 

A video Jisung had uploaded caught Jihoon’s eye. They were at another pizza restaurant as well, and Seongwoo had been dared to eat a slice of pizza with a mountain of chilli flakes on it. Seongwoo bravely took a large bite out of it, then started to turn red even though he was trying to act like nothing had happened. Jisung and Woojin’s loud laughter in the video was contagious, and Jihoon laughed to himself too. 

Jihoon then realised something wasn’t quite right with the picture. He scrolled through Jisung, Seongwoo and Woojin’s other pictures but couldn’t find the remaining member of their group in any of them.

“Is he sick?” Jihoon wondered. Daniel was acting fine that morning, or maybe he was feeling too tired to have lunch.

“What’s so funny?” Guanlin’s voice broke Jihoon’s train of thought and he turned his phone off. Guanlin had gotten a cookies and cream ice cream in a cup for Jihoon. He had gotten himself a double scoop of dark chocolate and peanut butter in a cone.

“Nothing. You remembered the cup this time,” Jihoon commented.

“Of course I remembered how ridiculous it was for someone to prefer their ice cream in a cup rather than a cone,” Guanlin said.

Jihoon smiled, they had a small disagreement before about how Jihoon liked his ice cream in a cup and Guanlin had found it baffling how someone could reject the delicious wafer biscuit for free.

“I just don’t want the cone to be soggy and my hands to get sticky when the ice cream melts,” Jihoon reiterated.

“It’s not going to melt if you eat it fast, like me. Watch,” Guanlin said and proceeded to devour his ice cream, then paused. “Hold on, brain freeze.”

Laughing, Jihoon could only shake his head in amusement. Everything about this moment was perfect, he could only wish time would pass by less quickly.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel was starting to wonder if he had gone too far and overreacted when he had insisted on staying at Jisung’s house when the others suggested going out for pizza. He couldn’t help it, he didn’t feel like doing anything, much less eating pizza.

The scene with Jihoon and his boyfriend kept playing in his head like a broken record, and Daniel couldn’t get it out of his head no matter what he tried to do.

When he told his friends that he wanted to rest at home, they all shot him strange looks. Jisung even tried reasoning with him before Seongwoo said, “Forget it, let’s have fun on our own” and dragged the others out before Daniel could explain himself. Trust Seongwoo to know when reasoning with Daniel would do themselves no good.

Daniel started to think he liked torturing himself. It hurt to look through Jihoon’s Instagram which had been the most active Daniel had seen. It was nobody’s fault but Daniel’s as he scrolled through the new pictures that Jihoon had posted. 

There was one of Jihoon with the boy at the train station and another older woman, which Daniel had guessed was Jihoon’s mother. He couldn’t help but smile, Jihoon’s mother had a radiant smile, just like her son. There was another picture Jihoon had uploaded just 10 minutes ago, of just the boy holding up his ice cream cone. It wasn’t surprising to Daniel that Jihoon’s boyfriend looked like the happiest boy on earth in all his pictures.

“Figures,” Daniel sighed before switching his phone off and throwing it on the bed. Daniel was about to walk out of the room to find some food downstairs for himself when his phone beeped.

You have a new Instagram direct message from @parkjihoon_

Almost as if he was in a trance, Daniel unlocked his phone and immediately opened up the new message from Jihoon.

**From: @parkjihoon_**

**Are you okay?**

Daniel was suddenly worried that Jisung had let something about Daniel not going to lunch slip to Jihoon, and that Jihoon had figured out everything. He realised Jisung had no reason to do it, and batted away his other thoughts as he typed out a reply.

**To: @parkjihoon_**

**I’m fine, what’s up?**

**From: @parkjihoon_**

**Nothing. I just didn’t see you in the rest’s pictures and thought you were sick or something.**

Daniel felt his heart skip a beat as he read the newest message.

**To: @parkjihoon_**

**I’m fine, just a little tired so I didn’t want to go for lunch. Thanks for asking, though.**

Daniel tapped his fingers impatiently on the drawer as he waited for the next reply.

**From: @parkjihoon_**

**That’s good. Don’t worry about it, I had to ask as a worried friend :) See you in school next week then!**

Friend. But of course. There was nothing wrong with Jihoon’s statement. Daniel and Jihoon were just friends, and they could never be anything more.

Daniel didn’t feel like eating anymore, he drew the curtains and buried himself under the covers.

-

It turns out Daniel’s friends couldn’t drag him out for dinner either, so they decided to order Chinese food in. Jisung was getting frustrated at the way Daniel was acting, he even suspected Daniel was sick and considered sending him to the hospital before Woojin stopped him.

“I won’t have you acting like this when we only have 2 days together before you go back,” Jisung announced the fifth time he came to ask Daniel to come down and have some dinner and play games with the rest.

Daniel was awake but didn’t shift in his bed.

“I don’t know what’s going on but you’re definitely not going to solve it by staying in bed the entire day like a loser,” Jisung said.

“I’m not a loser,” Daniel mumbled. Maybe Jisung was right, lying around in bed like this wasn’t going to make Jihoon his.

“You better come down before Seongwoo claims the title of Mario Kart King for himself,” Jisung said, and Daniel knew he was smiling.

-

“And His Majesty finally makes an appearance,” Seongwoo called out when Daniel joined them in the living room. Daniel’s stomach couldn’t help but growl at the sight of food on the table.

“I came down only because I heard someone was boasting about his Mario Kart abilities,” Daniel retorted.

Daniel had to admit that playing video games and wolfing down some Chinese food felt much better than overthinking about some boy he had no chance with.

Maybe this vacation was just what he needed to keep Jihoon off his mind.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon cringed as he sent his last Instagram message to Daniel. He knew “a worried friend” was too much an awkward description for their friendship but he did that to remind himself. As much as he hated it, Jihoon still felt his heart skip a beat whenever he thought about that night on Daniel’s motorcycle.

“What are you thinking about?” Guanlin asked as he ate the last bit of his ice-cream cone. Jihoon was only halfway through his.

“Nothing much. How’s school? You met my friends, but I haven’t heard anything about yours,” Jihoon was eager to think about something other than Daniel.

Guanlin shrugged. “My roommates are nice, but they’re really noisy. They’re both in the singing club. They’re good but you know how much I need my peace and quiet.”

That was another reason Jihoon thought he and Guanlin were perfect for each other. They didn’t particularly like noisy activities like going to clubs like other students in their class did. They both preferred taking a bus around Jihoon’s neighbourhood and appreciating the sights along the way.

Jihoon nodded in agreement. Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to talk about the two parties he had been to since he went to college.

“How’s your school film doing?” Guanlin asked.

“It’s going pretty okay. We just got started on the filming process. Oh! You’ll be there for the premiere, right? I’ll save you a seat,” Jihoon knew the premiere was months away, but he couldn’t help but get excited when he thought about his work being shown on the big screen in front of so many people.

“Of course I’ll be there,” Guanlin said. “I can’t wait to see what great things you’ve come up with this time.”

The only person that Jihoon had let read his short stories was Guanlin. Although he loved writing, he never felt confident enough to show his stories off to people, not even to his mom. Jihoon still recalled how nervous he was when he let Guanlin read a chapter of one of his stories last year. Guanlin wasn’t the most fluent in Korean, but he tried his best to read and understand every single word.

“You’ll be surprised,” Jihoon said, finishing up his last bit of ice cream.

“Shall we take a walk now?” Guanlin asked, standing up and swinging his right arm around Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Yes, we shall.”

-

They were both was exhausted when they returned home that night. Jihoon’s mother had learnt how to bake a chicken pie that afternoon, and brought some back for dinner. After finishing dinner, they headed up to Jihoon’s room. Before, they had planned to play video games late into the night.

“Let me catch a few winks before we play, you’ve absolutely tired me out today,” Guanlin groaned as he took his place on Jihoon’s bed.

“Alright you big baby,” Jihoon complained, but let him nap anyway. He was feeling pretty tired himself too.

After snapping a secret picture of Guanlin napping, Jihoon decided to post it on his Instagram. Guanlin didn’t have any type of social media, so he wasn’t going to find out about this anyway. Smiling as he typed the caption, Jihoon discovered another video post from Jisung.

This time, the person that was missing in the previous video was the main character in this one. Daniel and Seongwoo were both playing Mario Kart, and Seongwoo started yelling at Daniel for stealing his first-place spot while Daniel smiled smugly at the camera.

Jihoon didn’t know why, but he felt a smile creep onto his lips as well. Maybe it was the thought of knowing Daniel was okay unlike how he had sounded from his messages. 

“I must be going mad,” Jihoon huffed at his bangs.

When did he even start caring so much for Daniel in the first place?

**(Daniel)**

Daniel was feeling pretty good after winning the overall first place in their Mario Kart tournament, and let his friends persuade him into playing a drinking game with them. 

As the four of them sat in a circle, Jisung began to explain the rules. “I call it truth or drink. If you don’t want to answer a question, you have to drink.”

Seongwoo snickered. “It sounds like something you found off someone else’s YouTube video.”

Jisung rolled his eyes, then handed out the beer cans to everyone. “Nothing we say here can leave this circle, okay?”

To Daniel, the game sounded like a game high school girls would play at a sleepover to find out each other’s secrets, and decided not to take it seriously. He didn’t know it would get darker than what he had imagined it to be.

Seongwoo cleared his throat. “I’ll start. Daniel, have you ever used my toothbrush to clean the toilet?”

As soon as Seongwoo asked that question, Woojin started to laugh uncontrollably and Jisung had had to use his hand to mask the shocked expression on his face. Daniel started to recall that one time he and Seongwoo had a serious argument, and Daniel, out of anger, did indeed use his toothbrush to clean the toilet.

“I might have that one time,” Daniel confessed and immediately, Seongwoo pounced on him and Jisung had to pull them apart. Woojin, who was still laughing, was of no help to the situation.

“You better watch your back,” Seongwoo growled as he returned to his place.

Their light-hearted banter went back and forth quite a few times before things started to take a turn. Daniel wasn’t drunk yet, but he could feel the alcohol slowly start to get to him. He had a burning question to ask Jisung, but wasn’t sure if Jisung would be mad at him for asking it.

“Jisung hyung,” Daniel started out. Screw it, Jisung would forgive him for this. “Last year at the end of year college party, you had a one night stand with someone right? Who was it?”

It was Woojin’s turn to look shocked as he surveyed Jisung. Seongwoo didn’t seem surprised at his question, so Daniel figured he was aware of the rumours as well.

To Daniel’s surprise, Jisung didn’t even bat an eyelid. It was as if Jisung had been anticipating this question since the very start. 

“I did.”

Now Seongwoo looked shocked, and so was Daniel. They hadn’t expected Jisung to admit to it. Woojin was now covering his ears.

“You’re only allowed to ask one question at a time. But as for the second one, I’ll drink to that,” Jisung continued as he opened a new can of beer and chugged it down.

The four friends sat in silence for a few minutes, all taking in the fact that the oldest of them all, did have a one night stand with someone in their school.

“Don’t look so shocked, I have a life too,” Jisung said. “Seongwoo, it’s your turn to ask a question.”

Seongwoo shifted uncomfortably in his seat before asking his next question. 

“Daniel.”

Daniel hummed in response. He could feel himself start to get lightheaded now.

“A few weeks ago, you asked me a question. About liking someone that already had someone else. Who were you talking about?”

Daniel felt cold beads of sweat start to form as he processed the question Seongwoo had just asked him. Then, he felt his hands start to shake as Jisung and Woojin turned their attention to himself. His heart started to beat fast as he thought about Jihoon and how he was spending time with someone else. They had sworn not to let anything from tonight leak to others, and they were his best friends, so why couldn’t Daniel just answer the simple question?

“Niel,” Jisung prompted.

Daniel reached for his next can of beer, pulled open the tab, and chugged it down. His throat seared and his stomach soared, but none of these could compare to the burning in his heart.

-

Later that night, Daniel felt thirsty and decided to grab himself a glass of water. Tip-toeing over Woojin who was also sleeping on the floor, Daniel made his way to the kitchen as quietly as he could manage. Thankfully, his friends didn’t even stir, they had probably passed out from the amount of alcohol they consumed earlier.

Sitting on a chair to soothe the throbbing in his head, Daniel couldn’t stop himself from checking on Jihoon. He really loved torturing himself.

As he had already predicted, Jihoon had posted a new picture four hours ago. It was a picture of his boyfriend, sleeping soundly in a bed. Daniel wasn’t sure if it was Jihoon’s or his boyfriend’s. He probably would never find out. Daniel then stopped himself from reading the caption attached to his picture.

He gave in to the temptation.

**“You are what I want to come home to everyday”**

Sometimes Daniel hated the fact that Jihoon was so good with his words. This was one of those times. There weren’t any complicated words, but anyone; including Daniel could feel how much love Jihoon had for this boy just from one sentence.

Then, he was crying. Again. Daniel knew he was a joke, he had cried a total of two times over this boy who was already happy with someone else. If anyone found out about this, they would think Daniel was a big joke too.

As if reading his mind, Daniel felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped up from his chair. Quickly, he tried to wipe away his tears and cleared his nose before facing Jisung, who was now looking concerned.

“What are you doing down here so late- are you crying?” Jisung peered at him and Daniel instinctively looked away. For the life of Daniel, he just couldn’t get his tears to stop flowing.

He felt Jisung grab his phone and couldn’t react fast enough to snatch it back. Daniel could feel the realization hit Jisung as he scrutinized Daniel’s phone and the picture he was just looking at.

Daniel couldn’t look at his friend. He was embarrassed, that he had taken a liking to someone that already had a boyfriend. He was even more embarrassed at the fact that he couldn’t get over Jihoon. Jisung was going to kill him now for even harbouring such thoughts towards Jihoon.

“Oh, Niel,” Jisung began as he put one hand on Daniel’s back to soothe his tears.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Jisung explained. Even the one who always had something to say, was speechless in a situation like this.

Daniel felt his body collapse into Jisung’s arms, he was sobbing into Jisung’s shoulder now.

“Why is the world so unfair?” Daniel managed to choke out through his uncontrollable sobs. Jisung was patting his back as he would to a baby now, and Daniel felt himself calm down overtime.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wasn't easy to write about the two completely different feelings our characters were experiencing this chapter :(
> 
> i'm trying my best to recover soon and update more frequently!
> 
> do leave me a comment about how you felt about this update and i'll see you in the next one!


	11. golden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank youuuu all so much for your well wishes.
> 
> i've recovered and will be updating regularly now!
> 
> enjoy this next one!

**(Daniel)**

After letting Jisung pet his back until he calmed down completely, Daniel sat down with a glass of water, mind still fuzzy from the alcohol. Jisung took a chair and sat down beside him as well.

“When did this start?” Jisung asked hesitantly. “When did you start having feelings for Jihoon?”

“I don’t know,” Daniel said. It was the truth. Was it during the first party? Was it when they had burgers for dinner for the first time? Or was it when he saw Jihoon start crying under the moonlight that night that Daniel decided he wanted nothing more than to protect that particular boy?

Jisung nodded, but Daniel knew he didn’t understand him. Jisung was just trying to understand him only because they were friends. If it were anyone else, Jisung would think they were nuts to be liking someone who already had someone else.

“Hyung. You don’t have to comfort me, I know what I’m doing is wrong. I would never try to go in between Jihoon and his boyfriend,” Daniel confessed. They were too happy for Daniel to even think for a second that he could offer Jihoon an even better life. 

“Niel, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt this way about Jihoon,” Jisung apologized for the tenth time that night.

“Did I hide it that well?” Daniel wasn’t used to seeing Jisung look so crestfallen, and tried his best to cheer his friend up.

Jisung wiped away a tear before it could fall down his face. “Well, maybe you weren’t so good sometimes. Like, coming to see Jihoon all the time when he was writing the script and during the auditions. But I thought maybe you wanted to see me too.”

Now Daniel was smiling. Trust Jisung to be able to make him happy in a situation like this too. “I did want to see you, hyung.”

“Yeah, right.” Jisung scoffed, but Daniel caught a small smile creep up his lips.

“Don’t apologize anymore, I feel really bad for making you feel bad,” Daniel said and Jisung nodded.

“Do you think Seongwoo knows?” Daniel asked while playing with his fingers under the table. He could deal with Jisung knowing, but he wasn’t sure how his best friend would react to him liking Jihoon.

“Seongwoo? I don’t know. Are you going to tell him?” Jisung replied.

“Seongwoo would think I’m a loser,” Daniel complained. He could already hear Seongwoo asking him why he would put himself through something like this. Scratch that, he could already see Seongwoo rolling his eyes from a distance.

Jisung scoffed. “Seongwoo thinks everyone is a loser. Except himself. That’s your best friend for you. But it’s your choice, and you can tell him when you’re ready.”

“Maybe I’ll sort out my feelings before I get to tell him,” Daniel said, but he himself knew he wasn’t getting his feelings sort out anytime soon. Jisung didn’t have anything to say in response to that, and they both sat in silence for a while.

“I’ve really done it this time, haven’t I?” Daniel asked. 

“Yeah. You’ve got yourself into something I have no idea how to help you out of,” Jisung said. At least he was being honest. “But I still believe time solves everything. Take time, Niel.”

Daniel honestly didn’t know what that meant. 

“I’m going to sleep. We’re going to have more fun tomorrow, so don’t think too much about this, okay?” Jisung said as he stood up from his chair and pat Daniel on his shoulder. 

Daniel spent the whole night thinking of Jihoon.

-

“Rise and shine!” Daniel heard Jisung shout and draw the curtains in their room, letting the sunlight into their room. Daniel groaned and buried himself under the covers, he had finally managed to get some sleep after tossing and turning in his bed the entire night.

The covers were thrown off Daniel’s bed and he suddenly felt naked.

“Geez, Niel. Put on a shirt and have your breakfast downstairs. Let’s not waste our last vacation day in bed,” Jisung grabbed Daniel’s arm and pulled him into a sitting up position. Daniel caught a whiff of coffee coming from the kitchen and forced himself to get dressed.

Woojin and Seongwoo were already eating the pancakes Jisung had made when Daniel got to the kitchen. 

“Let’s go to the waterpark today,” Jisung suggested excitedly to the three who could still barely open their eyes. Woojin’s hair was still sticking up from five different ends. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Niel’s going back to school tonight and we still haven’t had a good enough vacation,” Jisung argued.

“It was a vacation for all of us as soon as you talked about your one night stand last night,” Seongwoo laughed. “When are you going to tell us who it is?”

Jisung walked over from the stove he was cooking at and covered both of Woojin’s ears and said, “I might have to cut you if you mention that one more time in public.” Then he removed his hands and smiled, shutting Seongwoo up for once.

“Anyone else has anything to say?” 

**(Jihoon)**

**From: Guanlin**

**I’m coming to pick you up in ten minutes. We’re going to the waterpark!**

Jihoon sat in his bed, dazed for a moment before he realised Guanlin had sent the message five minutes ago. He quickly scrambled off his bed and went to wash up as quickly as he could. When he was brushing his teeth, he heard a knock on the door.

“Good morning,” Guanlin greeted Jihoon with a hug, toothbrush still in his mouth.

“Give me ten minutes to get ready!” Jihoon said after he managed to pull away and run back to the bathroom.

10 minutes later, they were both out the door and in the blazing sun, waiting for the bus to the waterpark.

“Did you have breakfast?” Guanlin asked. Jihoon shook his head and Guanlin quickly searched through his bag and handed Jihoon a tuna sandwich he had packed.

“Thank you,” Jihoon smiled. “You know me best.”

“Of course, eat up.”

-

The waterpark was crowded with people of all ages. Jihoon couldn’t blame them for coming today either, it was a beautiful day to be playing in the water. Guanlin hadn’t stopped bouncing up and down from Jihoon’s house from his excitement.

“Let’s go to the biggest ride first,” Guanlin pointed to a big, blue slide in the distance and pulled Jihoon along with him before he could even protest.

“We need a pair!” the lifeguard at the big slide, nicknamed “The Torpedo” shouted down the queue. “Is anyone in a pair here?”

“Here!” Guanlin yelled and the lifeguard signalled for them to move to the front. Happy that they could jump the queue, Jihoon grabbed Guanlin’s hand as they walked to the front.

-

“Oh? Jihoon?” Jihoon heard someone call his name and he looked up from the floor to see Jisung waving to him while he was sitting in the float at the entrance of the slide the lifeguard was leading them to. Seongwoo and Woojin were there too, hair already wet from playing. Daniel was there too, wearing only his black shorts and a cap.

“Hyung!” Jihoon couldn’t help but smile as he and Guanlin sat in the float with them.

“These are my friends from school,” Jihoon explained to Guanlin, who looked confused. 

“Ah! Hello, my name is Lai Guanlin,” Guanlin greeted and before any of them could say anything back, the lifeguard pushed their float down without any warning and Jihoon heard himself start to scream along with the rest.

“You’re crazy for making me go on that,” Jihoon exclaimed to Guanlin when they landed at the bottom, but he was smiling. 

“Let’s go again!” Guanlin said, ignoring whatever Jihoon was just saying. 

Jihoon now remembered his friends who were listening in to their conversation, and was now embarrassed. 

“Did you guys decide to come because of the hot weather today too?” Jisung asked when they all got off the float. 

Guanlin nodded. “It looks like we came too late, but it’s because Jihoon overslept.”

“I didn’t know we were coming today,” Jihoon defended himself, hitting Guanlin softly on the arm. 

“Anyway. This is Guanlin,” Jihoon introduced. “That’s Jisung hyung, Seongwoo, Woojin and Daniel.” Each of them waved back to Guanlin when Jihoon said their name. 

“We’re going to get lunch; do you want to come along?” Jisung asked. “We heard the burgers are really good.”

Jihoon looked at Guanlin for confirmation. Guanlin smiled and looked down. “Burgers sound good to me.”

-

Jihoon didn’t know where to place his eyes when he was left along with Daniel at their table. Guanlin had insisted he could get Jihoon’s food for him even though he was dying to not be caught alone with Daniel. He felt his ears start to turn red as he looked more at Daniel.

Half-covering his eyes with his fingers, Jihoon asked, “Are you okay now? I saw you play games last night.”

Daniel laughed at Jihoon attempting to cover his eyes. “What are you doing? Is the sun too bright?” Daniel leaned closer and tried to shield the sun from Jihoon’s eyes with his own hand.

“No, no…” Jihoon sputtered as he moved his chair away from Daniel. “Do you not have a shirt you can put on?’

Daniel looked down at himself and laughed again, “Uh, my shirt’s back in the lockers. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Jihoon, again, was scrambling for the right words to use. “You should flaunt what you have… that’s not what I meant to say either.” His voice was beginning to get softer with every word he managed to say.

“Why are you so red? Did you get sunburnt already?” Jihoon was saved by Guanlin returning to the table with their food.

Touching his ears to get rid of the redness, Jihoon quickly dived into his burger as an escape from the conversation with Daniel. 

**(Daniel)**

Daniel hadn’t planned on seeing the boy he was just crying over last night at the waterpark, but fate had a funny way of playing with Daniel. Not only did he not expect to see Jihoon, he hadn’t expected to meet his boyfriend up front. 

Jihoon’s boyfriend was a little taller than him, but he was lanky like Seongwoo. Daniel also observed Guanlin was well versed in Korean, but he could still hear the slight foreign accent from him. Jihoon held Guanlin’s hand most of the time, which may or may not have caused Jisung to shoot a few concerned glances at Daniel.

Daniel figured he was going to be okay. His heart still skipped a beat whenever Jihoon was around, but Daniel made up his mind to enjoy whatever alone time he had with Jihoon and be happy with what he was given.

So when Daniel saw Jihoon waiting for Guanlin outside the bathroom alone after he had changed, he decided he wasn’t going to mope around because of something he had no power to change in any way.

“Hey,” Daniel greeted Jihoon who was on his phone. 

“Hey,” Jihoon smiled back. The sun was setting and the rays of sunset that fell on Jihoon’s skin made him look ethereal, and Daniel almost forgot to breathe.

“You have a shirt on now,” Jihoon commented. Daniel started to pack his bag to distract himself.

“I guess I’ll see you back in school next week,” Daniel said.

“Are you not staying for dinner? Jisung said we’re having dinner together at his house,” Jihoon asked. Jisung did indeed, invite everyone over to his house for some “fun and games”. So much for trying to comfort Daniel about his one-sided love by inviting Jihoon and his boyfriend over for dinner. 

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Daniel had to return to work tomorrow morning, and had to take the train tonight at 8pm or he wouldn’t make it back in time.

“I have errands to run back at school,” Daniel smiled.

Daniel wasn’t delusional in a long mile, but he started to doubt himself when he saw Jihoon’s face fall.

“Well… it was great seeing you for a while,” Jihoon pulled himself together before Daniel could continue to dream.

“See you,” Daniel zipped up his bags and waved goodbye to Jihoon who was still sitting on the bench looking at him. 

“Bye, Daniel,” Jihoon waved as Daniel left for the bus stop.

When Daniel looked back, Jihoon was still waving, sunset rays still shining on his skin.

It was the golden hour, with its favourite golden boy. But no golden opportunities for Daniel himself.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon was surprised how easily Guanlin could fit in with people like Seongwoo and Woojin, who were hogging the game machine after dinner. He had noted how much more fun Guanlin seemed to be having as compared to the both of them playing the same video games in Jihoon’s room.

“Guanlin seems really nice,” Jisung said as he took a seat next to Jihoon on the couch.

“Thank you,” Jihoon smiled. “And for dinner, too. I wasn’t expecting to see you again this holiday.”

Jisung unwrapped a sweet from its wrapper before popping it into his mouth. “I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you either.”

“Daniel,” Jihoon said Daniel’s name as if it were a question. “He’s doing okay, right?”

Jisung’s eyes grew big for a moment before looking straight at Jihoon. “What do you mean? Did Niel say something to you?”

As much as Jihoon didn’t want to worry, he didn’t feel good about what Daniel said about running errands back at school. The school was open, but the cafeteria wouldn’t be serving any types of food during the week. 

“He said he had stuff he needed to do back at school, is that true?” Jihoon asked. Jisung would know, after being friends with Daniel for so long.

“Oh, that. He’s going to be fine. Don’t worry,” Jisung smiled and focused his attention on the game again.

If Jisung wasn’t worrying, then maybe he shouldn’t be worrying either. Jihoon couldn’t shake the bad feeling off that night, or maybe it was the thought of Daniel having to eat alone while they were all having fun and having dinner together that made Jihoon feel worse.

-

Jihoon decided to cut short his vacation and return to school before the weekend. Guanlin had projects to do during the weekend back at his school, so he couldn’t hang out with Jihoon the entire weekend. Jihoon also didn’t feel like rushing back on the train with all the other students on Sunday night. He decided, although tough, that it was best to return early.

Standing together with Guanlin on the train platform he had just arrived on just six days ago, Jihoon realised how fast time passed when he was having fun. After the day at the waterpark, Guanlin and he did many other things together as well.

They went to see a movie, they went to the zoo and they even slept at home the entire day once.

Jihoon felt his fingers intertwine with Guanlin’s as the train started to approach the platform. The time he had so dreaded was finally here.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Guanlin said, not looking at Jihoon.

“Me too,” Jihoon whispered, but he was sure Guanlin heard him. The train slowed to a stop before both of them, but Jihoon couldn’t find the will to enter. 

“I’ll be back soon,” Jihoon gave Guanlin’s hand a squeeze and let go.

“You’ll text me, right?” Guanlin asked.

Jihoon nodded and grabbed his luggage which was beside him. He wanted to go in without a second glance at Guanlin, for fear that he might not want to leave if he saw the look on Guanlin’s face.

Giving Guanlin one last hug, Jihoon waved goodbye and took his seat on the train. The train doors closed, and Jihoon waved until he couldn’t see the train station anymore. 

There were some things about goodbyes that struck Jihoon hard every time. Then there were things about goodbyes with Guanlin that made struck him even harder. 

Jihoon’s phone lighted up, but he didn't have the heart to read the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always your comments motivate me to keep updating!
> 
> i love reading all your reactions, do let me know what you think of this update :)


	12. love is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in a day? who am i?
> 
> im sorry this chapter took so long to write, this is what most of you came here for.
> 
> i hope it doesn't disappoint.

**(Jihoon)**

The school was empty, just like Jihoon had predicted it to be. There were a few students walking around, but none that Jihoon actually recognised. Those who were still in school probably didn’t get to go home this vacation. The sounds of the cicadas were more obvious now that the chatter of students didn’t fill the college.

Unlocking his dorm door, Jihoon was greeted by his bed still unmade the last week he was here. Daehwi and Jinyoung weren’t arriving till Monday morning, so Jihoon had the room all to himself for two nights. Jihoon’s first thought was that he would be lonely, he had no one to eat with or talk to for the next two days. The library wasn’t open either, so Jihoon wouldn’t be able to start doing research for his next project.

Then he remembered, Daniel. He said he would be in school to run some errands. Walking down the hall to Daniel’s room, Jihoon knocked on the door twice. No answer. Putting his ear close to the door, Jihoon didn’t hear anyone or anything shifting inside. 

“He must be out,” Jihoon figured. Grabbing his phone and wallet from his room, Jihoon decided to have his first dinner alone that week.

The sights weren’t too bad in the city just a few bus stops away from school. Jihoon wasn’t sure where he was going either, he followed wherever the bus took him. There were a few clubs in the area with music blasting from them. Jihoon found a small, quiet noodle shop and decided to have his dinner there.

After a week of going everywhere with Guanlin, Jihoon now had to get used to walking on the streets alone. Ever since Jihoon had replied to his last text on the train home, Guanlin hadn’t texted back. Maybe he was already caught up with his projects in school.

When Jihoon had finished his dinner, it was already 10pm at night, and most of the shops other than clubs were starting to close and finish up for the day. Jihoon decided to grab a drink from the nearest convenience store and head back to school for the night.

“That’ll be $2,” The cashier said after scanning Jihoon’s apple juice. Jihoon fished out his wallet from his pocket and handed the cashier a $5 note and waited for his change. 

“Thank you!” Jihoon looked up at the cashier and stopped cold in his tracks. The cashier wasn’t looking at him, and he was wearing a mask, but Jihoon knew a familiar face when he saw it.

“Daniel?” Jihoon asked while trying to peer over the cashier’s mask. He looked up, and his eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Jihoon before him.

“Jihoon!” Daniel gasped as he removed his mask. “What are you doing back here?”

“So it was you!” Jihoon exclaimed. He was still shocked to see Daniel in the cashier’s uniform standing before him. “I came back to school early. But I’m alone, so I took a bus and had dinner on my own, why are you working till so late?”

“I’m finishing up soon,” Daniel assured. Looking around, Jihoon didn’t see many people in the shop. There was only another man choosing his drinks at the drinks section besides them.

“Have you had your dinner?” Jihoon asked.

Daniel shook his head.

“I’ll wait for you outside,” Jihoon said and left the store to sit at the tables outside. 

Jihoon started to observe Daniel in his natural work habitat. He bowed to the man who just placed a carton of milk on the counter. After collecting his money and giving the man his change, Daniel disappeared behind the store. 

Daniel reappeared in his normal clothes and a bowl of cup noodles in his hand.

“Is that your dinner?” Jihoon didn’t mean it in a condescending way, he felt somehow sad that Daniel had to have a dinner like this after working so late into the night.

“It’s alright, I’ve always had this,” Daniel smiled as if he knew what Jihoon was thinking and lifted his chopsticks as proof.

“Is this the errand you were talking about? You had to work?” Jihoon asked. He never could have guessed Daniel was working part time at a convenience store when he said he had errands to run in school.

Daniel nodded as he continued to slurp his noodles. 

“Is it hard?” Jihoon didn’t know what he was asking at this point in time. Of course, it was hard. It was definitely tiring to tend to customers all day, standing up and having no rest.

Of course, Daniel shook his head in response to that question. “What about you? Why are you back so early?”

“I didn’t want to squeeze into the train with the crowd on Sunday night,” Jihoon explained. He thought of adding on that Guanlin was busy in school, but decided against it. Daniel didn’t need to know anyway.

Daniel nodded like he understood. “It gets lonely when you’re alone in school though.”

Jihoon was there for just half an hour to drop his things off and he could already feel the emptiness of the school get to him. He couldn’t imagine how Daniel could have felt the past few days. Suddenly, Jihoon didn’t feel that sad about leaving home early.

“You’re stuck with me for the next two days, so it won’t be lonely,” Jihoon said. What was he saying? He sounded as if he had just forced Daniel into hanging out with him over the weekend. Jihoon wasn’t a lot of fun himself, he liked quiet things that didn’t require a lot of energy.

“Am I?” Daniel laughed. “Lucky me, I guess.” Jihoon couldn’t tell if Daniel was being sarcastic or genuinely happy

Jihoon grabbed his apple juice and stood up. “Come on, Daehwi kept some extra food in our storage. I could cook something for you, a bowl of cup noodles isn’t enough for dinner.”

-

True to his word, Daehwi did keep some instant Japanese curry rice packets in his bedroom drawer. Jihoon would have to explain to him when he was back.

Punching the minutes onto the microwave in the shared kitchen down the hallway, Jihoon tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited for the rice to heat up. Daehwi and Jinyoung raved non-stop about this Japanese rice, Jihoon could only hope they were being serious.

“Ta-dah!” Jihoon said as he returned to his room, one bowl of curry rice in his hand. It smelt good as soon as he took it out of the microwave, and Jihoon could start to feel himself get hungry again.

“Thank you, chef Jihoon,” Daniel smiled as Jihoon presented the bowl of rice to him.

“Sorry you have to sit on the floor, we never thought of having a dining table,” Jihoon said as he crossed his legs and sat beside Daniel.

“That’s okay. It’s nice and cool on the floor anyway,” Daniel said. Jihoon wondered how someone could be so full of positivity all the time. Daniel enjoyed his rice as much as he enjoyed his cup noodles earlier, and Jihoon started to feel his stomach growl at the sight of Daniel eating so deliciously.

“Silly me, I should have offered the chef some,” Daniel quickly said as he caught a glimpse of Jihoon staring at his food and started to scoop some for Jihoon.

“No, no. I’m fine,” Jihoon said and held out both his hands in protest but Daniel was already holding the spoon in front of Daniel’s mouth.

“Open your mouth, like this!” Daniel laughed and tried getting Jihoon to open his mouth to feed him. 

Scrambling to his feet, Jihoon quickly retreated to his bed. “I’m not a baby!”

Daniel stood up and followed, spoon still in his hand. “Open up! I’m not going to stop until you have a bite!”

Daniel had Jihoon trapped at the corner of his bed now, and Jihoon had now just realised how close Daniel was to him. Daniel’s face was just right in front of his now, the only thing separating them was the spoon.

Jihoon sighed, opened his mouth and allowed himself to be fed. Truth to be told, it was as good as Jinyoung and Daehwi had said it would be. Jihoon could feel himself getting redder as Daniel watched him eat.

“It’s really good,” Jihoon finally commented. Daniel nodded in satisfaction and finished up. Jihoon got off his bed to soothe his racing heart, it must have been all the running away.

“Read me something of yours,” Daniel said as he plopped onto Jihoon’s bed. 

“M-mine?” Jihoon stuttered. No one had ever asked Jihoon to read any of the stories he had written to them. The only exception was Guanlin, and that was only because Jihoon had willingly let Guanlin read it first.

“I’m sorry, is it private? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Daniel quickly said when he saw how flustered Jihoon was. “Sorry, I don’t know how these writing things worked. Don’t worry, I was just asking out of curiosity.”

Jihoon hadn’t written anything of his own ever since he had started school. He probably owed it to the numerous assignments he had and the work he was doing on the school film. Thinking back, Jihoon realised it was Daniel who had convinced him to join the school film.

“I’ve seen how passionate you are about this, I think it would make me very happy to see you doing something you loved.”

That was what Daniel had said back then to Jihoon when he was trying to get him to write the script for the school film. It wouldn’t hurt returning one of the many favours he owed Daniel.

“I’ll read one short one to you,” Jihoon said and took out his laptop. Sometimes, Jihoon wrote out his stories on paper, but he had left most of those at home. He remembered some chapters he might have typed onto his laptop. Sitting on his bed, his head opposite of Daniel’s, Jihoon opened one of his documents under “Writing Works.”

Jihoon cleared his throat. “Don’t laugh.”

“I would never.”

-

“And that’s the end,” Jihoon said and finally looked up from his laptop. His neck ached from bending down to read the words on the document. He looked across himself to try and assess Daniel’s reaction, but he couldn’t.

Daniel was fast asleep.

“Was it that boring?’ Jihoon wondered aloud. He couldn’t help but smile, maybe this was for the better. He didn’t have the heart to wake Daniel up either, so he grabbed the pillow from his bed and decided to sleep in Daehwi’s bed for the night.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered in case he woke Daniel, then turned off the lights and went to bed.

**(Daniel)**

He couldn’t remember exactly where he was when he woke up the next morning. He definitely wasn’t in his own bed, and he definitely wasn’t back in his own room. Daniel sat up and looked across the room, where he spotted Jihoon under the covers in the bed opposite the one he was currently sitting on.

“You’re awake,” Jihoon said after tossing under the covers and stretching his body. Then, he remembered asking Jihoon to read him one of his stories last night.

It was a short story about a boy who had decided to leave home, but he never got to hear the end of the story. Oh no, he had fallen asleep halfway, hadn’t he?

“I’m sorry for falling asleep like that yesterday,” Daniel said. “You should have woken me up, I even snatched your bed.”

Jihoon rubbed his eyes and sat up. Part of his shirt was hitched up, and Daniel caught a glimpse of his tummy. Cute, he thought before slapping himself out of dreamland.

“It’s okay,” Jihoon smiled. “You’re returning the favour by keeping me company today, right?” 

“I have work at night, but for now, sure,” Daniel grinned.

“I’ll go get changed,” Jihoon said and grabbed a shirt to change into. Daniel normally hated getting up in the morning, but today, he leaped out of bed and back to his room. When he returned, Jihoon wasn’t even done washing up.

-

Daniel had never seen anyone look so fascinated with the city sights as Jihoon did now. Daniel had suggested taking a bus further down than they were last night. 

“That’s really nice,” Jihoon commented as they passed by a large fountain in the town square. Daniel laughed to himself, he didn’t remember himself being so interested in that fountain when he first looked at it. 

They got off the bus two streets down from the fountain Jihoon was fascinated at.

“The buildings here are so pretty,” Jihoon gushed. Sure enough, the roofs of the buildings surrounding them were colourful and vibrant, Daniel just never found it in him to notice all these things before. 

“Right? I like taking a walk here whenever I got stressed from school the past two years,” Daniel said. He first discovered this place when he wasn’t doing so well in school during his first year. It was more of an accident that he discovered this place, he had decided to skip one of his lectures and go wherever the bus took him.

“Maybe I’ll start coming here more often too,” Jihoon replied before walking into a store that caught his eyes.

It was a shop selling figurines. Daniel recalled Woojin once saying how expensive it was to collect figurines like these.

“You collect these?” Daniel asked Jihoon who was peering through the glass window of the shop.

Jihoon shook his head. “Guanlin does, but I don’t know which one he already has.” 

He should have known. Don’t get emotional, Daniel reminded himself. 

“I’m sure he’ll like whatever you get for him, though,” Daniel found himself saying instead. He was surprised how much he meant what he said.

“You think?” Jihoon’s eyes were shining when he looked at Daniel.

“Of course,” Daniel replied. Anyone sane would like a gift given to them by their significant other. Jihoon disappeared into the shop and reappeared next to Daniel a few minutes later holding a small paper bag in his hand.

“I don’t know when I’m seeing him again, but I guess getting an advanced gift wouldn’t hurt,” Jihoon explained himself.

Daniel smiled. If Jisung was here, he would be so heartbroken to see this. Strangely, Daniel felt okay. He had finally learnt how to control his emotions around Jihoon. Part of him still wanted to run back home to Jisung’s arms and start crying.

“I saw a chicken place, fancy having chicken for lunch today?” Daniel pointed to a chicken place opposite their location. Maybe food could take his mind off Guanlin for a while.

-

The chicken was delicious, and Daniel had the best time with Jihoon there. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket for the fifth time that minute and figured it had to be Jisung.

“I’ll head to the washroom, then we can go,” Jihoon said and left, leaving Daniel to take his call.

“Hyung,” Daniel replied as soon as he picked up his phone.

“Niel? Are you crazy? Are you really having a date with Jihoon right now, as I’m speaking?” Jisung immediately yelled into the receiver when Daniel picked up.

“It’s not a date!” Daniel said, then lowered his voice when the couple next to him looked at him strangely. “He said he needed someone to keep him company, I swear I had no part in convincing him to go out with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to attempt, it could get really bad,” Jisung said, and started rambling, but Daniel had long stopped listening. Daniel saw Jihoon coming back from the corner of his eye.

“Hyung, I have it under control. Okay, bye,” Daniel quickly hung up when Jihoon sat back down. 

“Who was that?” Jihoon raised his eyebrows.

Daniel tried to brush it off. “It’s nothing. Jisung hyung just called to ask how I was doing. Are you ready to go?”

Daniel brought Jihoon to watch some street performances after lunch. Of course, Jihoon was fascinated at every performer, whether they danced, sang or did magic tricks Daniel could figure out just by looking.

Leaning in to Jihoon who had his attention on the dance crew in front of them, Daniel whispered, “I could do that too.”

Turning back, Jihoon laughed and hit Daniel’s shoulder lightly. “Yes, you could have if you didn’t break your wrist.”

Daniel pouted. “Seongwoo would be disappointed if I was here cheering on another dance crew with you.”

“You can assure Seongwoo that I am your biggest fan,” Jihoon smiled and turned back to cheer for the dancers who had just finished their performance. One even blew a kiss to Jihoon for cheering them on so loudly.

“That’s it,” Daniel announced. “We are leaving. Guanlin wouldn’t be happy with that.”

Great, Daniel. Now you’re using Jihoon’s boyfriend to mask your own jealously, get a life. Jihoon only laughed but allowed himself to be pulled away by Daniel. Daniel made a mental note to apologise to Guanlin if he ever got the chance.

“Here, come on. I’ll win you something,” Daniel said as they walked pass a small arcade shop down the road. 

Jihoon pointed to a small white dog toy inside a claw machine. “That one.”

Slotting a coin into the claw machine, the lights around the machine started to light up and happy, carnival music started to play. Daniel felt his fingers wrap around the controls and he manoeuvred the claw around the toys professionally. Pushing down on the button after just positioning the claw at the right area, Daniel started to pray.

Jihoon laughed as the claw missed and grabbed the air in front of it. 

“Hold on, let me try again,” Daniel said as he slotted another coin into the machine and the music started to play again. 

“This is how people blow their salary on claw machines,” Jihoon commented when Daniel missed again. “Let me try.”

Daniel moved aside to let Jihoon try his turn at the claw machine. He couldn’t understand why the machine just wasn’t working for him today. He had gotten countless toys out before, and even gave them out to children who had gathered to watch him.

“The machine is rigged,” Daniel complained as Jihoon took his turn. Jihoon didn’t reply, he bent down to have a closer look at the machine.

“Yes!” Jihoon exclaimed as he retrieved the toy from the bottom of the machine where the claw had dropped it off. Daniel could hardly believe his eyes, Jihoon laughed as he handed the stuffed dog to Daniel.

“Here, you can keep this,” Jihoon said and Daniel accepted it. Cocking his head at the machine once more before following Jihoon down the street, Daniel kept the stuffed dog in his bag. This was one toy he wouldn’t give away to the little children.

“So you’re just going to leave me to have fun alone?” Jihoon asked when Daniel told him he had to get going for work.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel apologised. He was beyond tempted to call in his manager and tell him he was sick, but it wouldn’t look good on the records. “We still have tomorrow.”

“I was just joking,” Jihoon said. “Thank you for showing me around today.”

“It was my pleasure,” Daniel said and left before Jihoon could convince him to stay.

-

Daniel spotted Jihoon’s familiar pink jacket waiting outside when he locked up the store and prepared to go back to school. There were two bento sets in front of Jihoon. Maybe it made Daniel happy that Jihoon was thinking of him, but Daniel suddenly didn’t feel as tired as before.

“Hey, you,” Daniel greeted Jihoon with a grin as he sat down.

“Hey back,” Jihoon said. “Don’t say anything and eat. I have to tell you about the fireworks I saw back there.”

It turns out Jihoon went to see the fireworks that happened near the area they were at that night. Of course, he was fascinated with how many people had gathered to watch the fireworks that night. He also talked about a girl his age who was there alone, and they had become friends because they were both fascinated about the fireworks.

Daniel wasn’t sure if Jihoon was aware, but his eyes shone when he talked about something he liked. Sure, Jihoon had pretty eyes. But whenever he started to get caught up in something that he liked, his eyes started to turn shiny and sometimes, Daniel swore they sparkled.

“I’m sorry, I really talked too much about the fireworks,” Jihoon said as they were walking back to school together. Daniel had suggested walking instead of taking the bus, because it was a cool night, and Jihoon agreed.

“Don’t apologise, I like listening to you talk,” Daniel said, hoping Jihoon wouldn’t talk it the wrong way.

“I wish we could talk about you, though,” Jihoon suddenly said. “You know too much about me, and I know too little about you.”

Daniel was taken aback, he hadn’t expected the topic of their conversation to be himself.

“Well… What do you want to know about me?” 

Jihoon brooded over the question for a while. “Have you ever been in love?”

That was officially the last question Daniel had expected to answer from Jihoon that night. Daniel could never had guessed what Jihoon’s motive of asking that question was. He turned to look at Jihoon, but he wasn’t joking.

“Maybe,” Daniel answered. Then looking at the boy next to him, he answered again. “No. I have.”

Jihoon nodded as if it were no surprise. He then hesitated before asking his next question. “What’s it like?” 

What WAS being in love like? Daniel couldn’t quite place a finger on the feeling either. Daniel had a pet cat back then, he was pretty sure he loved it. He loved his parents, no matter how much he tried not to. He loved his friends for always being there. Something told him this wasn’t the “being in love” Jihoon was talking about.

“Love is… You’re not quite sure why you’re still there. It’s when the situation gives you a hundred and one reasons to leave.” Daniel paused.

Guanlin. Jihoon liking someone else. Jihoon being happy with someone else. Jihoon deserving someone that made him as happy as Guanlin. Jihoon’s mother liking Jihoon as much as Jihoon did. Daniel not wanting to give up his friendship with Jihoon. So many more reasons Daniel should have left a long time ago.

“But you find one good reason to stay, and you keep hanging onto it. That's love.” Daniel continued.

Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon.

Jihoon was the only reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHH i hope those that were longing for nielwink moments were well fed.
> 
> this is by far my favorite chapter i've written.
> 
> i love reading all your reactions and comments for this chapter, how did you feel about nielwink in this update?
> 
> see you in the next one, and take care! :)


	13. if this were a movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH i'm on a roll with these updates recently!
> 
> i've been bursting with ideas, enjoy the next one~

**(Daniel)**

Jihoon didn’t say anything much on the way back home. Daniel didn’t particularly feel like saying anything more either. A comfortable silence filled the night sky between them. It was the little moments like these that Daniel thought he could live with. For how long? He didn’t know. For now, it was enough.

“Can you re-read me the second part of the story?” Daniel asked. He still felt guilty that he had fallen asleep halfway through Jihoon’s storytelling last night. Daniel vaguely remembered something about a boy leaving home and becoming successful on his own. He still wasn't sure what had happened after.

“Sure. I’ll tuck you in and sing you a lullaby too,” Jihoon joked. 

“Perfect.”

-

Daniel didn’t fall asleep halfway through the story this time. Instead, he found himself listening intently to the story. When Jihoon said, “The end”, Daniel could hardly believe his ears. Sitting up from his position on Jihoon’s bed, he surveyed Jihoon’s face for any traces of him lying about the ending.

“You’re telling me that’s the end of the story? There’s nothing after that?” Daniel asked, jaw still wide open from disbelief. 

Jihoon nodded and closed his laptop. “That’s all. The story ends there.”

“The boy never went back home?” Daniel questioned. Daniel hadn’t read many books in his lifetime, but he had watched many movies and occasionally some dramas that Jisung recommended. But none of the movies or dramas he had watched had made him feel this empty and incomplete inside.

“Why does he have to go back home?” Jihoon asked.

“Well, he became successful and all. Why doesn’t he want to return home to the people he loves?” Daniel had never expected to be debating with Jihoon about his story on his bed, their legs touching under the covers.

Jihoon nodded like he finally understood what Daniel was talking about. “Maybe he doesn’t want to. He’s happy with the new home he’s constructed for himself outside. Sometimes you just have to let go of the things that made you feel safe once and take a better look at what else the world has to offer you.” 

“It’s just a story, anyway. I wrote this when I was still young, so there are many holes in the story,” Jihoon added.

Daniel shook in head in protest at Jihoon. “I think you’re amazing. The way you wrote made me want to go to the library and pick up a storybook.” Normally, Daniel would nod off every time he opened a textbook. He couldn’t last remember when he read a proper storybook, maybe it was even before high school.

“Thank you. I mean it,” Jihoon smiled, and Daniel knew he did. Maybe this was the most Daniel could offer Jihoon – compliments and confidence. He was willing to give those away just to make Jihoon happy though, seeing Jihoon beam with pride made Daniel want to shower him with all the compliments he could come up with. 

“I have something you might want to see,” Daniel suddenly remembered about a place he had wanted to show Jihoon while they were walking back to school. Grabbing his phone on the table, Daniel opened the room door, and Jihoon gladly followed.

-

“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?” Daniel heard Jihoon ask from behind him as he made his way up the stairs to the rooftop of the school. Lifting the rug in front of the locked door, Daniel reached for the small silver key and unlocked the door without much difficulty.

“Too late to ask now, I guess,” Daniel grinned as he opened the door and let Jihoon walk pass him first. 

The rooftop was empty, there was only a room for the cleaner’s supplies and a few cardboard pieces that had been dumped at the side of the roof. Daniel had only been up here once, last year during winter when he was playing hide-and-seek with some of his other friends. 

“Isn’t the roof like the place where all the rebels go to skip class?” Jihoon narrowed his eyes at Daniel who was checking out the place as well.

“Do you think I’m a rebel?” Daniel laughed as he took a seat beside Jihoon near the edge of the roof. 

Jihoon laughed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t be here with you if you were.”

“Are you saying all rebels are bad people?” Daniel challenged.

Jihoon pondered over Daniel’s question for a moment. “It depends what you’re rebelling against.”

“I’m officially rebelling against being with the right people at the wrong times,” Daniel said out loud before he could stop himself. Jihoon cocked his head at Daniel as if he didn’t understand what Daniel had just said. Daniel hated how right it felt sitting here, on the edge of the roof, with Jihoon was. 

“Maybe you’re just with the wrong people at the right times,” Jihoon said.

I highly doubt it, Daniel said to himself. He rarely felt this strongly for anyone or anything, and he detested the way his heart acted on its own whenever he was with Jihoon. No one else had been able to shake Daniel’s heart up like this boy had been doing since the first time he saw him. 

Daniel had never been a big believer in fate. He always felt like he was in control of his own life, and that no one else could live it for him. Ever since he met Jihoon, Daniel had started to second guess himself. Every time Daniel tried to take control and stay away, there was an unexplainable force that would bring him right back to where he started.

There were many things in life that Daniel regretted doing. One of which was letting his heart lead the way around this boy.

**(Jihoon)**

Sitting with Daniel under the stars reminded him of the time he cried on Daniel’s shoulder weeks back. Jihoon was constantly amazed with how different things could turn out with time. Back then, there were no traces of stars in the night sky.

Tonight, the stars were twinkling brightly in the sky. Being on the roof made the night sky somehow seem closer to Jihoon. He stretched his hands out and tried to reach for the sky. If Guanlin was here, he would look at Jihoon in a strange way. 

But he wasn’t. He was sitting beside Daniel, who had his right arm outstretched, mimicking Jihoon’s. Jihoon was letting his mind run to places now. 

When Jihoon was younger, he knew he had a flair for creativity and imaginative things. While his classmates struggled to come up with ideas for essays in school, Jihoon often couldn’t choose what to write about because his mind was bursting with ideas. It wasn’t always good to have a constantly active imaginative mind, especially in situations like these when Jihoon was convinced he was starting to let his mind take the upper hand.

It drove Jihoon wild to think about Daniel in that way at any point in time. He was sure he was starting to let the long-distance mess with his mind again, even though it had barely been two days since he had left home. 

**To: Guanlin**

**Are you busy? Text me when you see this.**

Jihoon noticed that Guanlin had opened his previous message a day ago, but there was still no reply from him till now. Jihoon tried not to feel discouraged, Guanlin did say he would be even more busy this term because he wanted to get into the top ten percent in his cohort.

Putting his phone faced down, Jihoon snuck another glance at Daniel. Unknowingly, a smile crept onto his lips.

“Is there something on my face?” Daniel asked, touching his face.

Jihoon was now flustered that Daniel had caught him staring. “No, there was a mosquito. It’s gone now, though.” Hopefully, Daniel wouldn’t pick up how unnatural that was. 

Putting on a disgusted expression, Daniel explained, “I hate bugs.” 

“You’re approximately three million times larger than a bug,” Jihoon laughed in response. It was unexpected that a boy half a head taller than him and had shoulders that stretched across the ocean would be afraid of a tiny insect.

Daniel shook his head in disgust as if he had just seen another insect. Scrambling to his feet, he said, “It’s late and I think you’re tired. We should go back.”

Giving Daniel the benefit of doubt, Jihoon got to his feet and followed Daniel back to their dorms. 

“Any idea what we should do tomorrow?” Jihoon asked when Daniel walked him back to his room. Jihoon didn’t want to deny it but today was one of the best days of his life.

“I’ll think about it,” Daniel grinned. Jihoon hadn’t noticed how excited he was to have another day to spend with Daniel.

“Okay. Well, goodnight. See you tomorrow,” Jihoon closed his door before his mind could run to places again. 

Jihoon checked his phone again, and there was still no reply from Guanlin. He decided not to think much about it, and went to sleep thinking of the places he would discover with another boy the next day.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel wasn’t sure how Jihoon would feel when he suggested going shopping, but looking at the radiant grin of Jihoon staring back at him, Daniel knew he had made the right decision listening to Seongwoo last night. (Seongwoo was the next best choice, after Jisung. Jisung would bite his face off if he knew he was going out with Jihoon alone again.)

“This is pretty,” Jihoon commented as he took out a long printed checked shirt out of the pile of clothes on a shelf. Daniel couldn’t help but smile at Jihoon’s selection, everything about the shirt screamed Jihoon. Daniel had long observed Jihoon’s peculiar taste in clothes.

You’re pretty, Daniel almost blurted out. Cursing in his head, Daniel managed to put on a smile. “It is, are you getting it?” 

“I feel like I have the same one somewhere in my luggage,” Jihoon said as he put the shirt back in his place. 

“You probably do,” Daniel commented and Jihoon quickly turned to face him. 

“Is this something about my fashion you’re smiling about, Daniel?” Jihoon pointed at Daniel. Something told Daniel Jihoon was aware of his own taste in fashion as well.

“No! I swear – it’s cute, I mean. Yeah, that’s what I meant. Fuck,” Daniel said, both hands waving in defence. Daniel swore he would never laugh at Jihoon, he just didn’t know how to explain to Jihoon that he smiled whenever they were together.

Jihoon shot Daniel a glare that gave him chills and marched out of the shop. Daniel chased after him, repeating the phrase “I wasn’t laughing at you” behind his back as many times as he could. Daniel was afraid Jihoon was genuinely angry at him, but when he saw a smile crack from the side of Jihoon’s lips, he knew he was in the clear.

“You’re impossible,” Jihoon finally said when Daniel begged for his forgiveness while tugging on his arms. “Get your hands off me before I rip them off.”

“You know I didn’t mean it that way. I like the way you dress, it’s cute,” Daniel was now blurting out whatever came to his mind at the moment.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I forgive you, only because you’re hanging out with me,” Jihoon smiled and let Daniel walk beside him. Letting out a sigh of relief, Daniel looked around for something that he could use to cheer Jihoon up. 

When Daniel saw a man sculpting balloons at the corner of the street, he silently slipped away from Jihoon’s side and pushed through the crowd of children waiting for their turn.

“Me, me! Could you make one for me?” Daniel said when he got to the front. The man sculpting the balloons gave him a strange stare. Daniel prayed he would ignore the children behind him yelling that he had cut their queue and just make a balloon for him.

“Is it for you?” the main raised his eyebrows at Daniel as he picked up a yellow balloon and began inflating it.

“It’s for my… friend. Back there,” Daniel looked back and pointed at Jihoon who was still looking through clothes, oblivious to Daniel’s disappearance. 

The man nodded and focused on sculpting the balloon for Daniel. “Here, big guy,” he said when he was done. “Now let the kids get their turn.”

Daniel happily received the sword from the balloon man and made his way out of the crowd of now angry children back to where Jihoon was still shopping. 

“Here, for you,” Daniel presented the balloon now turned sword to Jihoon.

“For me?” Jihoon asked as he received the balloon, unsure of what to make of it. “Is this for me to protect you from the bugs? Don’t worry, I’ll kill them all.” Jihoon started to swing his sword balloon around as soon as he said it. 

Deciding to play along, Daniel started to hide behind Jihoon. “There’s a bug there!” 

Pretty soon, the two of them were making a big scene in the middle of the street. People shot then strange looks, but Daniel couldn’t see anyone other than the boy he was hiding behind. 

“You should write a story about this,” Daniel suggested when they stopped running away from the imaginary bugs.

“What? About a knight that protects a prince that’s afraid of bugs? Do you think people would read that?” Jihoon asked, almost offended that Daniel would ask such a ridiculous question.

“I would read it,” Daniel said, but Jihoon had already walked ahead, eye-catching yellow balloon still in being held tightly in his right hand.

Daniel didn’t say this out loud, but he prayed the knight and prince of that alternate universe had a happier ending than him and Jihoon.

-

“You don’t have to do this, I mean it,” Jihoon tried to stop Daniel from paying at the counter for their dinner. It was too bad that Daniel had already made up his mind to give Jihoon one last gift before school started and he wouldn’t get any more chances to do this.

“Don’t worry, I have a staff discount here,” Daniel said as he handed his card to one of his friends from work at the cashier. Daniel mentally thanked his guardian angels for letting him land a part time job at a meat restaurant. This made up for all those times Daniel went back to the dorms smelling of meat.

“That doesn’t make it okay for you to pay for the whole meal,” Jihoon tiptoed and tried to look at the receipt Daniel’s friend had printed. 

Shifting his body to block Jihoon’s view, Daniel whispered to his friend, Seonho, “Could you tell the manager to dock my pay instead?”

“We only accept cash payments!” Seonho smiled as he ignored Daniel’s plea. Glaring at Seonho, Daniel paid and ushered Jihoon out of the restaurant before he could insist on paying. 

“You can’t keep being so nice. What if someone takes advantage of your kindness?” Jihoon argued as they stepped out of the restaurant. 

I’m only doing this for you, Daniel thought.

“Take it as my encouragement to do well for the next semester,” Daniel said. 

Jihoon was silent for a while. “I wish I could do something for you, too.”

“Hm?” Daniel hummed as they waited for the bus to bring them back to school.

“You kept me company for two days, made me your knight, paid for my dinner. I wish I could do something for you as well,” Jihoon said, not looking at Daniel.

Park Jihoon, you made me happy for two days, something I would never even dreamed of having. 

Daniel cleared his throat and stood up as the bus arrived. “Well, that’s what friends are for, right?”

-

Nothing special happened when Daniel walked Jihoon back to his room. Jihoon looked tired, so Daniel didn’t insist on staying late. They had school tomorrow anyway. As Jihoon said goodnight to Daniel and closed the door behind him, Daniel suddenly felt as if he had been flung back into reality. 

Daniel felt as if he had been living in a movie the past two days. He was genuinely happy and enjoyed his time the past forty-eight hours. That was probably all he would be getting the rest of his life.

If this were a movie, Daniel would have never himself walk away from Jihoon’s door. If this were a movie, Daniel was positive he would have taken Jihoon in his arms and kissed him on the lips right in the hallway.

But this was Daniel’s real life. And his real life sucked.

-

Seongwoo was unpacking his luggage when Daniel returned to his own room.

“You’re back?” Daniel must have sounded surprised, and he was. He didn’t expect Seongwoo to be back so early, he had thought Seongwoo would be coming back with Jisung and Woojin the next morning. 

“I thought you would have never noticed,” Seongwoo said, not looking up from his luggage. “Since you probably don’t consider me a friend anyway.”

Daniel was half taken aback by Seongwoo’s sarcastic tone. Half of him was wondering if Seongwoo was just being his usual asshole self. Sitting on Seongwoo’s bed, he contemplated on what he might have done to piss Seongwoo off like that. Daniel definitely made sure Seongwoo was cool with the whole toothbrush toilet incident before he left.

“I can’t figure it out,” Daniel finally said. “Why are you pissed?”

Seongwoo sighed and walked aimlessly to the bathroom and back. Daniel hadn’t seen Seongwoo this angry in a while since they had their last argument, which happened a few months ago.

“You can tell Jisung anything, but you can’t tell me?” Seongwoo finally looked up at Daniel.

Daniel’s heart sunk as he started to realise what Seongwoo was on about. Somehow, while Daniel had returned to school early, Seongwoo had found out about his crush on Jihoon from Jisung. 

“I was going to tell you-“ Daniel began, then stopped himself. No, he wasn’t. He was planning on burying his feelings after today from everyone, including himself.

“I didn’t exactly tell Jisung either, he found out,” Daniel reasoned. 

“It’s fine,” Seongwoo snapped. “Forget all the times I told you all of the shit I went through with Jaehwan back then.”

Daniel grimaced at the mention of Seongwoo’s ex-boyfriend, he never mentioned Jaehwan unless he was really pissed, and he recalled all the times Seongwoo told him his darkest secrets. Daniel felt guilty now, as much as he hated to admit it, Seongwoo was his best friend. Daniel should have at least told Seongwoo.

“Fuck, I don’t know what to say. You’re right, I should have told you. I guess I was just scared to admit that I liked someone who already had a boyfriend,” Daniel confessed. 

Seongwoo continued to stare blankly at his luggage as Daniel rambled on.

“And I thought you would laugh at me, because I was acting like a loser and a coward. I’m fucked up, Seongwoo. I didn’t want you to see that side of me,” Daniel concluded. 

Seongwoo put his clothes down on his lap and played with his fingers. “I don’t think you’re a coward. Yes, it sounds shitty and miserable and I would never recommend liking someone who already has a boyfriend.”

“But I’m your friend, so I’m stuck with cheering you up and hooking you up with different guys to forget Jihoon at times like this, okay?” Seongwoo continued.

And the old Seongwoo was back. Daniel knew deep down that Seongwoo cared for him, even if he didn’t act like it most of the time. Daniel realised how much Seongwoo wanted to be there for him as much as he was there for Seongwoo back then.

“Okay,” Daniel smiled, then stopped himself. “You aren’t serious about hooking me up with other guys, right?”

Seongwoo stared at Daniel like he had just seen a headless chicken. “You know I would have already gone for them if I had any. At least our whole group is going to die as single, virgin men together.”

“Except for Jisung hyung,” Daniel said, relieved Seongwoo didn’t actually have a plan up his sleeve for once.

“Except for Jisung hyung,” Seongwoo echoed. “He’s nasty, isn’t he?”

“Wait,” Daniel paused before asking, “Does that mean you didn’t do the do with Jaehwan when you were together?”

“Daniel,” Seongwoo began, and Daniel started to question if he should have asked. Seongwoo turned to Daniel and grinned, “The only fucking we did was fucking each other up.”

And Daniel knew they were okay again.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon was tucked nicely into bed when the door creaked open and his friend’s heads popped in.

“Daehwi? Jinyoung? Why are you back so early?” Jihoon sat up and turned on the lights. 

“Jihoon! I missed you!” Daehwi left his luggage at the door and ran to Jihoon’s bed as soon as he realised Jihoon was awake. Before he could protest, Daehwi wrapped him in the warmest hug.

“Hey, Jihoon,” Jinyoung waved to Jihoon as he pushed Daehwi’s luggage to the side and wheeled his luggage to his side of the room. Jihoon barely managed to remove a hand from Daehwi’s hug and wave back.

“We decided to come back just before school started,” Daehwi explained. “But enough of that, how was your vacation with Guanlin? Why are you back so early? You should’ve made use of all the time you had together.”

Jihoon’s vacation with Guanlin felt like it happened weeks ago, he had almost forgot it happened. Jihoon had been so caught up with having fun with Daniel, he had forgotten all about missing home. He wasn’t about to tell Daehwi that, though.

“It was great. He was busy, so I came back first,” Jihoon said. 

“You must’ve been lonely,” Daehwi pouted as he finally let Jihoon go.

Loneliness was the last thing Jihoon had felt the past two days. 

-

**To: Guanlin**

**Hey, are you busy? You haven’t texted back. Hope you’re doing okay.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one thing i love writing is ongniel banter
> 
> a new semester is coming, and i have many things in store for our main characters!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this update, do leave a comment as to how you felt about it - and i'll see you in the next one!


	14. worth it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying my best to update daily now, so do stay tuned for more frequent updates!

**(Daniel)**

“You know, I think I know why you fell for someone like Jihoon.” Seongwoo leaned in and whispered to Daniel as he bit on his pencil while pretending to listen to the professor rambling on about customer relations in class.

Yes, Seongwoo was back to his annoying self after their argument yesterday. Daniel was starting to regret making up with his friend. Trying to ignore Seongwoo, Daniel forced himself to focus on what the professor was writing on the blackboard at the front of the class. As usual, nothing was going into his brain no matter how much he tried.

“I never thought you would fall for a pretty boy like him,” Seongwoo continued, oblivious to Daniel’s disinterest in the topic. “But with big and pretty eyes like that, it’s no wonder my best friend is head over heels in love with him.”

Sighing and putting down his pen, Daniel turned to face Seongwoo. Almost immediately, Seongwoo quickly turned to face the front, but Daniel managed to catch a knowing grin on his face.

“Shut up,” Daniel growled, careful to keep it low but enough to warn Seongwoo.

Of course, Seongwoo wouldn’t take the hint. “So, did you really take him out shopping to the place I recommended? I think you owe me one for that.”

“Yes,” Daniel said, not looking up from his paper. “Just know I regret everything about that.”

Daniel shot Jisung a glare from across Seongwoo and Jisung shrugged. It was all Jisung’s fault for letting this slip to Seongwoo in the first place, and Daniel wasn’t about to forgive Jisung so readily for that yet. If Daniel was lucky, Seongwoo would let this go within this lifetime.

“Seongwoo, stop bothering Daniel,” Jisung chided. 

“It’s his fault for falling for Jihoon. There are so many other fish in the sea, he had to choose one with an owner,” Seongwoo retorted. The student sitting in front of their group turned around to shush Seongwoo, who held up one hand in apology.

“Daniel hyung… likes Jihoon?” Woojin chorused from beside Jisung, his jaw wide open. Daniel buried his face into his hands. Now his entire group of friends were aware of his hopeless one-sided crush. He held up one finger to shush Woojin, but it was too late.

“Daniel? If you’re talking so much you should come up here and solve the question anyway,” Daniel felt his heart drop as he heard the professor call his name from the front of the lecture hall and the whole class turned to face him. 

-

“You are absolutely fucking out of your mind,” Daniel said as soon as they stepped out of the lecture hall. Thanks to Seongwoo he had just been embarrassed in front of the entire class just because he wasn’t able to solve a question, and Seongwoo wasn’t the least bit sorry about it.

“Daniel hyung, is it true?” Woojin clambered after Daniel, still shocked at what Seongwoo had said back in the hall.

“Yes, Woojin. It’s true, our Niel does like Jihoon,” Jisung said. Usually, Daniel was thankful to Jisung for always looking out for him, but for now, all Jisung was doing was adding oil to the fire.

Woojin looked at Daniel for confirmation, and Daniel nodded grudgingly. There was no use hiding it from the last member of their group now. Jisung patted Daniel’s back like he was some sort of sad dog, and Woojin continued to look at him in wonder.

“I’d appreciate if you don’t announce it to the whole world,” Daniel said, walking ahead of his friends.

Daniel saw a familiar mustard yellow hoodie run pass him and back in front of him. It was Jihoon, files and papers flowing out of his arms. His rounded glasses were out of place, but he was still smiling.

“Hey, Daniel! And Seongwoo, and Jisung hyung and Woojin!” Jihoon greeted and ran off again as quickly as he had arrived, his red drawstring bag hanging on for dear life on his shoulders.

“Wipe that smile off your face, you fool,” Seongwoo commented as he walked pass Daniel. Daniel was suddenly conscious of his lips that had unconsciously lifted themselves.

“I think the way you look at him is enough of an announcement to the whole world.”

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon had never felt so happy to be sitting back in class and listening to the professor talk about what they would be doing the rest of the semester.

“Enough of me talking, this is a creative writing class. I want each of you to come up and talk about an idea for a story that struck you this vacation. It doesn’t have to be developed, it can be a brain-wave idea. After all, we’re all here to share different ideas,” the professor said as he turned off his laptop and addressed the class.

This was what Jihoon loved most about this class. No more incessant droning from the professors, more interaction with what he loved. 

“Can we have Jihoon come up first and share something?” the professor smiled at Jihoon and he stood up to stand in front of the class. Jihoon spotted Minhyun sitting with his friends on the way down, and gave a small wave.

Jihoon was never a professional at public speaking. In fact, he would’ve preferred if he never had to address large crowds in his entire life again. Standing in front of people always made him nervous, and his hands would shake.

As the expectant faces of his classmates stared Jihoon in the face, Jihoon began to think about what he could talk about. Sure, he could talk about coming up with the idea of a love story, Guanlin had given him a lot of material this holiday to write a cute love story.

“Actually, this was an idea given by a good friend of mine,” Jihoon started talking even before he could properly gather in ideas together. 

“I’ve never written stories for children, but my friend gave me an amazing idea to write about a funny story about a knight that protects his price from insects,” Jihoon laughed, half embarrassed that he would repeat Daniel’s idea in class. 

“I realised that people are afraid of many different things in the world. I hope to bring across the innocence of fearing the small things in the world across with a story like this,” Jihoon concluded, and the class erupted in applause. 

-

“Jihoon? Could I talk to you for a minute?” Jihoon’s professor called out as Jihoon was packing his bag to meet Jinyoung and Daehwi for lunch. 

“Sure,” Jihoon nodded and walked down to where his professor was sitting.

“I just wanted to tell you how well you’re doing for this class. I know you’re managing the school film this year as well, so I know it’s not easy to be on task with your assignments as well,” Jihoon’s professor smiled as he handed Jihoon back his final assignment from two weeks ago. There was a big “A” written in red at the right-hand corner of the paper.

Jihoon could hardly believe his eyes. “Thank you so much!” He hugged the paper close to his chest, he was even contemplating sleeping with this piece of paper for the rest of his life.

“I think you have the potential to be a great author, keep up the good work!” his professor said before leaving Jihoon alone in the lecture hall. Jihoon pinched his arm to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. His first “A” in college! 

Smiling as he walked out of the lecture hall, he was stopped by Minhyun who was waiting by the door.

“Oh, Minhyun hyung,” Jihoon greeted.

“Jihoon,” Minhyun put a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder. “You did so good up there. Good job, by the way.”

Jihoon was positive he was dreaming now. First, he got his first “A” in college and now his all-time idol Minhyun was complimenting him? Daehwi and Jinyoung had to know about this. Jihoon was sure he was flying to the cafeteria when he ran past a familiar face.

“Hey Daniel!” he greeted first, then saw Daniel’s friends trailing behind him. “And Seongwoo, and Jisung hyung and Woojin!” Jihoon wanted to tell Daniel about how he had just used his prince and knight story in class, but figured he could save it for another time, and left before his friends could say hello back.

-

Daehwi and Jinyoung were sighing when Jihoon joined them at their usual table with his food tray.

“What’s up?” Jihoon asked as he dived into his food. Daehwi sighed, said nothing and turned his phone screen to face Jihoon. Jihoon squinted to see what Daehwi was trying to show him, and it was an email sent by the school. 

“The school is making us participate in a sports activity of our choice as part of the school’s sports development programme,” Daehwi lamented. 

Sports activities? Jihoon had not been aware of this when he got enrolled into this school.

“Is it compulsory?” Jihoon asked, still not sure what it meant for them.

Daehwi and Jinyoung nodded solemnly. “Everyone has to participate.”

Jihoon was never sport’s best friend. He didn’t particularly enjoy physical education back in high school, but it was mainly because he was never picked to be on anyone’s sports team. The only sports Jihoon had ever touched was basketball, and it was because Guanlin wanted to play it for one of their dates.

“Well, what type of activities do they offer?”

**(Daniel)**

Seongwoo had to drag Daniel to their sports activity of the semester. Daniel hated this part of the semester, where the school made them participate in a sports activity against their will. They weren’t even allowed to participate in dance, because it had to be different from your main after school activity.

Woojin had gone ahead to sign up for soccer, which Daniel had even lesser cares in the world for. Jisung decided he needed to “unwind and destress” and went to participate in yoga, though Seongwoo and Daniel suspected he had an ulterior motive.

Daniel still didn’t know how he had let Seongwoo convince him to play basketball for the next ten Mondays in school.

“We’re pretty tall, so at least we won’t be the complete losers there,” Seongwoo had said, and Daniel had to admit that Seongwoo said somethings that weren’t completely useless sometimes.

Daniel wasn’t sure whether if he was supposed to kiss or curse at Seongwoo for choosing to join basketball when he saw Jihoon mingling around with Daehwi and Jinyoung near the court area. Seongwoo had spotted the trio too, and he shot Daniel a look that made Daniel want to sock him right in the face.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Daniel begged Seongwoo as he made eye contact Jihoon who was now waving them over.

“Gladly,” Seongwoo replied.

“Hey! I didn’t expect to see you here; do you guys play?” Jihoon greeted Daniel and Seongwoo. 

Daniel knew full well he was the one who went around half naked when they were at the waterpark, but seeing Jihoon in a sleeveless basketball jersey made him turn red, and he couldn’t even blame it on the sun because they were indoors. Jihoon was fitter than Daniel had thought he was, it was just hidden under his usual hoodies and oversized shirts.

“Oh, we don’t play. Daniel said we should come here because all the hot juniors sign up for basketball,” Seongwoo grinned, earning himself a low kick from Daniel.

Daniel felt his face getting hot now. “I-I never said that.”

“Daniel hyung!” Daehwi, who was listening in to the conversation, shot Daniel a disapproving look. Jihoon only laughed in response to Seongwoo’s joke.

“Boys and girls! Take your seats, we’ll be starting the first game soon. Form teams of six, boys and girls will play separately.” Daniel heard a whistle being blown and a slightly older guy, whom he assumed was the coach, ushered everyone to the stands.

“You should join us!” Daehwi suggested as he gathered Jihoon and Jinyoung and pulled in another boy who was wondering around alone. Daniel had never seen that boy before, but Daehwi quickly struck up a conversation with their new teammate.

“Are you sure? We weren’t kidding about being here just to look at hot juniors,” Seongwoo was now flustered that he actually had to play.

Jihoon laughed, and said, “You can check them out during the game too.” Daniel couldn’t believe there were people in the world who would take Seongwoo this seriously, but he wasn’t about to call Seongwoo out for fear his friend would say something stupid to Jihoon.

-

Seongwoo was right, Daniel had to owe it to his higher than average physique that he wasn’t a complete mess on the court. Daniel had never played basketball seriously, but his height gave him a small advantage over the other team, and he wasn’t being too much of a loser in front of Jihoon.

Jihoon, on the other hand, was as good as a professional to Daniel. It wasn’t biased to say Jihoon dominated the court, and he was their star player. Jihoon was accurate in his shots, and most of the balls that left his hand would land up in the basket beautifully.

When their coach blew the whistle to signal the end of the game, Jihoon shook hands with their opponents and gave Daniel and Seongwoo a thumbs up before heading back to the stands to drink some water.

“I take it back, I think he’s hot too. You mind if I start liking him too?” Seongwoo leaned in and whispered into Daniel’s ear.

“Fuck off.”

-

Daniel was starting to rethink his unwillingness to come to his school’s sports development programmes. If Jihoon was going to look this undeniably good the next ten weeks, Daniel was sure he would have no problems coming to this class.

Even if it meant tiring himself out. Thanks to Jihoon, their team had moved into the second round and had to play against a different team. 

If Daniel’s height and physique had given him an advantage in the previous round, this one was different. They were playing against some Year 3s that Daniel recognised from parties, but they didn’t look too friendly on the court.

At first, Daniel thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. But when he clearly saw some of the other team’s players bumping shoulders with Jihoon, he was sure they weren’t happy with how well Jihoon was playing. 

“Hey, play nice,” Daniel said as he walked pass a player who had bumped shoulders with Jihoon earlier. Jihoon still had a smile plastered on his face as he gave Daniel the sign to serve the ball to him.

Daehwi and Jinyoung cheered loudly again when Jihoon managed to score a three-pointer, but their opponents weren’t looking very happy to lose to someone smaller than them.

While the coach had his back to the game to facilitate the girls playing, Daniel saw the basketball fly towards Jihoon from the corner of his eye. Daniel couldn’t react fast enough to warn Jihoon to move out of the way, he heard a loud thud and saw Jihoon falling to the ground.

Daniel felt his legs carry him faster than ever to Jihoon’s side. Jihoon’s eyes were still open, and Daniel used one of his arms to prop Jihoon’s head up.

“Are you okay? Can you stand?” Daniel helped Jihoon to sit up.

Before Jihoon could reply, a stream of blood trickled down Jihoon’s nose.

“Oh- oh, you’re bleeding. Okay, don’t worry. I’m going to get you to the nurse, you’re going to be fine,” Daniel was now flustered at the sight of blood, and with the help of Daehwi and Jinyoung, got Jihoon to stand up.

“Tell coach I’ll bring Jihoon to the nurse,” Daniel told Daehwi and Jinyoung as he helped Jihoon out of the hall. 

As he passed by Seongwoo, he lowered his voice to make sure Jihoon wouldn’t hear him. “Don’t let the fucker who threw the ball get away.”

-

To Daniel’s relief, Jihoon’s nosebleed stopped a few minutes after they arrived at the nurse’s office. She made Daniel sit outside while she treated Jihoon, and he tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for her to come out.

“Your friend is okay now,” the nurse told Daniel and stepped out of the resting room. Jihoon was holding a tissue to his nose and was now sitting up on the bed.

“You should lie down and get some rest,” Daniel grabbed a chair to sit beside Jihoon. “Are you feeling okay?”

Jihoon smiled and nodded. “Thanks to you who got me here really quick.”

And the butterflies in Daniel’s stomach were back.

“You scared me back there,” Daniel mumbled, playing with the covers on Jihoon’s bed.

“Did I? I guess the knight got hurt for once,” Jihoon laughed. Daniel didn’t understand how Jihoon could still be so cool about the entire situation.

Then, as if Jihoon had just remembered something, he put his hand down. “I told my class the story about the knight who protected the prince who was afraid of bugs today. They loved it, my professor loved it too.”

Daniel was honoured that Jihoon had even remembered a lousy story he had made up on the spot back then.

“I was thinking of making it into an actual story for my next assignment, is that okay?” Jihoon continued.

“You should give me some of the money if you make it big,” Daniel replied.

Of course, you can write about our story. Their story. The thought of Jihoon writing while thinking of Daniel made him feel lightheaded. 

“I’ll come to you if I need inspiration,” Jihoon smiled, and Daniel felt like a bomb had just exploded in his chest. He had to get out of this room before he did something he wouldn’t be able to take back.

“Rest well, okay?” Daniel said as he stood up and patted the blankets. “Don’t get yourself hurt anymore.”

“I won’t. Thank you,” Daniel caught one last smile from Jihoon before he left. Blowing at his sweaty bangs, Daniel realised it wasn’t going to be easy to keep this pretence up.

**(Jihoon)**

When the nurse finally agreed to let Jihoon return to his dorm, Jihoon thanked her and quietly left the rest area. He was feeling okay, his nose a little numb but he was thankful he still had a nose. 

“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice from behind caught Jihoon’s attention, and he turned around to see one of the boys from the basketball game from before.

“Me?” Jihoon pointed at himself. There wasn’t anyone else in the hallway, but he couldn’t figure out why a boy from before would approach him like this. 

The boy walked up to Jihoon and he put up both his hands instinctively in his defence. The boy sighed, then rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“I’m sorry?” Jihoon echoed, unsure of what he was trying to get at.

“Your boyfriend told me to apologise for throwing the ball at you – so, I’m sorry.”

It dawned on Jihoon that Daniel had probably approached the boy and used whatever means to make him come up and apologise to Jihoon himself. Jihoon cringed a little, he wasn’t sure what Daniel had done to make the boy come up and apologise personally.

“He’s not my-“ Jihoon mumbled.

“I know, I know. He acted like it, okay? Anyway, I’m sorry. Won’t happen again,” the boy apologised once more before walking away and disappearing around the corner.

Jihoon thought of running after the boy to correct him, then decided against it. The boy looked fine, so Daniel probably didn’t do anything to him. Jihoon thought he was being a little sadistic, but the thought of Daniel confronting the boy and making him apologise did kind of make up for getting hit in the face by a basketball.

**From: Guanlin**

**Hey. I’m really busy in school, so I don’t think I’ll be able to talk anytime soon. Sorry :(**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basketball!jihoon is such a concept and daniel loves it
> 
> as i said before, i'm trying to update daily now so you guys don't have to wait long for the next update~
> 
> do let me know what you thought of this chapter, are you enjoying the nielwink?
> 
> take care and see you in the next one!


	15. don't let him walk away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your lovely comments, just know they make me smile like Jihoon makes Daniel smile!
> 
> enjoy the next chapter!

**(Daniel)**

“Any news on your hopeless crush?” Seongwoo asked one day when they were lazing around on their own beds one afternoon. They had dance practice later, and Daniel wasn’t in the mood do to anything remotely related to school.

“I haven’t heard you talking about Jihoon lately,” Seongwoo added and Daniel groaned as he rolled to the side of his bed. Seongwoo was right, Daniel had not seen or talked about Jihoon the past two weeks since the basketball incidents. They exchanged some waves across the hallways, but that was about it.

“I think he’s busy. And you should stop talking like something’s supposed to happen between us,” Daniel reminded Seongwoo. His friend was constantly on his tail, asking him if he had made any “progress” with Jihoon.

Seongwoo pondered over Daniel’s words for a moment before sitting up to face Daniel. “But you do miss him, right?”

Daniel turned to the other side of his bed, his back facing Seongwoo. He was not in the mood to reason with Seongwoo, neither was he in the mood to be talking about Jihoon. 

“Why are you giving me boy talk? I thought you hated talking about men,” Daniel said, trying to get Seongwoo off the topic.

If this were their first or second year as friends, he would hear none of this incessant questioning from Seongwoo. His best friend was on some sort of weird boy ban back then, and wouldn’t even talk about the cute boy that he walked pass in the hallway that afternoon.

“You’re right, I do,” Seongwoo said. “I kind of think Jihoon has a thing for you, though. And it’s fascinating, considering what a piece of shit you are.”

Daniel was listening now. “Do you even know how stupid you sound right now? He CAN’T have a thing for me. He has a boyfriend, I thought we had this figured out already.”

“Calm down, I didn’t mean a love thing. I just think he enjoys your company as a good friend. You just think it’s weird because you’re aware of your feelings towards him,” Seongwoo said. “It’s weird to see you not hanging out with him.”

Daniel didn’t know why Seongwoo thought what he was saying made sense. He didn’t know why Seongwoo was preaching to him about Jihoon either.

As if echoing Seongwoo’s preaches, Daniel’s phone lighted up with a message from Jihoon. Daniel jumped off his bed, and held his phone like he would a precious gem. Seongwoo raised his eyebrows.

“What does he want?” Daniel sputtered, unsure if he should open the message from Jihoon. “What should I do?”

If someone walked into the room and wasn’t aware of Daniel’s crush, they would’ve thought Daniel was receiving death threats from someone on the phone.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he didn’t text you to ask you to be his boyfriend,” Seongwoo crossed his arms and waited for Daniel to unlock his phone and read the message. Slumping back onto his bed, Daniel realised Seongwoo was right. It was something probably really minor.

**From: Jihoon**

**Daniel? Are you busy? I kind of need help with my writing assignment. I thought it would be good if you gave me some ideas.**

Daniel’s hands were shaking as he read the message from Jihoon. He remembered Jihoon saying he would write about the knight and prince weeks back, he didn’t know Jihoon was serious about it.

“Well? What did he say?” Seongwoo was still waiting for an answer.

“Wait,” Daniel said, and was surprised that for once, Seongwoo actually listened.

**To: Jihoon**

**You got me at a good time. Where should I meet you?**

Daniel felt his heart start to beat faster as he waited for a reply from Jihoon. Seongwoo was surprisingly upholding the silence in their room well.

**From: Jihoon**

**Daehwi and Jinyoung are studying. Is it okay if I come over to your room?**

Daniel’s heart already answered before he could physically type out an answer. Daniel looked up at Seongwoo, who was still giving him the look. This was the ultimate friendship test.

“You have to leave, Jihoon is coming over,” Daniel said, handing his phone over to Seongwoo who already had his arm outstretched. Seongwoo’s eyebrows furrowed as his eyes trailed over the messages Daniel and Jihoon exchanged.

“I’ll be really quiet, I won’t bother you,” Seongwoo handed Daniel back his phone and replied.

“Please, Seongwoo,” Daniel pleaded. He had reached an all-time low in his life to be begging his roommate to vacate the room just so he and Jihoon could have some alone time together. Seongwoo was showing no signs of giving in.

“I’ll let you eat my jellies,” Daniel said in a meek voice.

“And you have to do whatever I say for the next week,” Seongwoo smiled deviously as he realised just how much he had a hold over Daniel. Daniel was sure Seongwoo was going to make him do stupid things when the time came, but he wasn’t in the appropriate place to be negotiating with Seongwoo now.

“Okay,” Daniel nodded and Seongwoo grinned at his small victory. Daniel felt as if he had just sold his entire family and his firstborn to the devil.

**To: Jihoon**

**Sure. The door is open for you, just come in.**

Seongwoo was packing his bag when there were two knocks on the door and Jihoon poked his head into the room. 

“Oh? Seongwoo hyung, I didn’t know you were here. I hope we’re not disturbing you,” Jihoon said as he inched into their room with his laptop and stacks of papers in his hands.

“I was just leaving, actually. Something suddenly came up,” Seongwoo said, looking straight at Daniel.

Daniel decided he had to physically force Seongwoo out of the room before he said anything stupid in front of Jihoon. 

“Yeah, aren’t you running late for that something?” Daniel said with clenched teeth. Seongwoo was halfway out the door now.

“Have fun, kids! And don’t forget about dance practice at 8!” Seongwoo called out from the hall.

“And don’t breathe a word of this to Jisung hyung,” Daniel warned before shutting the door behind him. Jisung was going to kill him if he knew about this.

-

Jihoon was definitely feeling stressed about this assignment. Daniel had never seen anyone as focused on a piece of writing as much as Jihoon now. Daniel realised that whenever Jihoon was focused on something, his lips would form into a natural pout. It was so cute, Daniel wanted to punch the wall or something.

That was a weird analogy. Daniel figured this was why only people like Jihoon could be writers. 

“I just want to punch a wall because you’re so cute,” Daniel sounded aloud. No, he didn’t think it sounded acceptable.

“Did you say something?” Jihoon looked up from his books and adjusted his glasses to look at Daniel. Daniel hadn’t noticed he had actually said it out loud, it was a relief Jihoon was too focused on his work to notice, or it would be pretty hard to explain.

Daniel shifted to give Jihoon more space on the bed. “I didn’t say anything. You look tired, do you want to take a break?”

Daniel wasn’t expecting Jihoon to nod and put his laptop down. “I do this a lot, I work until someone has to stop me. So Daehwi and Jinyoung have to constantly remind me to take a break.”

Daniel recalled how exhausted Jihoon had looked when he was preparing the script for Jisung at the beginning of the year. Jihoon was a workaholic and it broke Daniel’s heart to see Jihoon working himself so hard. Daniel got off the bed to pour Jihoon a glass of water, and Jihoon gladly accepted it.

If he could, Daniel would devote his time to making sure Jihoon wasn’t stressed in any way. If he could, Daniel would have wrapped Jihoon under his blankets and cuddle with him and made Jihoon watch the entire series of Harry Potter with him. Then he would wrap his arms around Jihoon and kiss-

“Daniel? You okay? You’re staring at me funny,” Jihoon said as he waved a hand in front of Daniel’s face.

For now, a glass of water would have to do.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon had underestimated the difficulty level of writing a book for children. He had thought that he was going to breeze through this assignment again. Jihoon had to select the right choice of words, and consider if a specific part in the story matched the intellect level of his targeted audience. Many times, he considered if he was even on the right track.

Another thing Jihoon had underestimated was his ability to pull through with his long-distance relationship with Guanlin. In the span of two weeks, they had only exchanged less than ten messages between them, and it was mostly Jihoon asking Guanlin if he was free to talk.

Jihoon didn’t want to seem like a clingy boyfriend, he was just afraid of the worst. Days ago, he had decided to give Guanlin the space and peace he needed to study well, but it just wasn’t going well. Guanlin had returned two messages, one saying that he was busy, and the other was Guanlin asking Jihoon if he was doing well in school.

Jihoon had replied Guanlin’s last message two days ago, and he had yet to receive a reply for Guanlin. He hated that he was constantly checking his phone for messages from a specific sender, and would get frustrated when it was a notification from one of his mobile games.

“I think the prince should have developed a trauma of bugs from when he was young,” Daniel’s voice broke Jihoon’s long train of thought.

Right, the story, Jihoon reminded himself. This was what he came here to do, not overthink about his boyfriend back home.

“Should we have the knight die in the end?” Jihoon asked.

Daniel wore a shocked expression of his face. “Why would he die? That would make the children reading sad.”

“No one’s going to protect you till the end,” Jihoon retorted. 

“I still think it’s too much of a plot twist, plus I don’t get why…“ and Daniel trailed off.

Jihoon knew he was bringing his bad feelings about Guanlin to Daniel’s and his conversation, but he couldn’t stop himself in time. Jihoon thought the stress of writing was getting to him once again, and when it was combined with the annoyance with Guanlin for not replying messages, Jihoon knew he had a storm coming.

“No one’s going to stay till the end. The children reading shouldn’t grow up thinking that they’re going to have a knight in shining armour protect them all the time,” Jihoon argued.

This was when Daniel put down the files he was reading and looked at Jihoon. “Jihoon, are you okay?”

Jihoon’s lips pressed together. He was starting to hate everything. He hated how easily Daniel could read his expression. He also hated how tears would form at the side of his eye when he was angry. The tears made him look weak.

“Jihoon,” Daniel put away the books on his lip and reached for Jihoon’s hand and Jihoon instinctively pulled away. 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon choked out. He had to get out of here before he made things worse between Daniel and him. Without a good explanation, Jihoon packed his things and left Daniel still in his bed, alone.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel was left at a loss for words when Jihoon stormed out of his room. Did he say something wrong about Jihoon’s story? Maybe he was being too aggressive about presenting his ideas for the story to Jihoon. 

Jihoon wouldn’t be mad at Daniel for contributing, though. He was the one who had suggested they come together and discuss the storyline together. Whatever the case, now was not the time to chase after Jihoon for an answer. Luckily for him, Daniel had dealt with Seongwoo shutting him out suddenly many times during the three years of their friendship. Daniel knew now was the time Jihoon needed time alone the most.

It still hurt to let Jihoon walk away crying, Daniel never wanted to see Jihoon sad. It was time for him to head to dance practice, where Seongwoo was probably waiting for him to tell them all about his “date” with Jihoon.

-

Seongwoo was waiting at the practice room, but so was a very angry Jisung. Jisung had his arms crossed when Daniel entered the practice room, and Seongwoo and Woojin were avoiding Daniel’s gaze. Something was very wrong. Daniel didn’t have much experience with his own parents, but he figured this was how most people felt when they knew they were in big trouble with their parents.

“Hey,” Daniel greeted and Jisung shot him a glare. Okay, probably not the best way to start a conversation with his friend who was practically bursting with anger.

“You are nuts, Kang Daniel!” Jisung yelled as soon as Daniel closed the door behind him. Daniel grimaced, it had been years since Jisung had called him by his full name and not by the ever endearing “Niel”.

“How could you and Jihoon be alone in a room like that?” Jisung was now running towards Daniel at full speed with a book in his hand. Daniel’s first instinct was to run. 

“You have to control yourself! You know it’s not right!” Daniel was now running for his life around the practice room. Seongwoo and Woojin were of no help, they were trying their best to avoid the wrath of Jisung as well.

“He asked to come over! I had no say in that,” Daniel yelled back. For his age, Jisung was still fast when he ran. 

“You should have said no, you should have suggested going to the library! Do you trust yourself that much? You’re still a teenager with raging hormones!” Jisung yelled and Daniel prayed, for the life of him, that no one would hear him from outside. Seongwoo was now making use of his body and blocking Jisung from running any further.

“Nothing happened! I swear,” Daniel said as he tried to catch his breath while his friends held Jisung back from killing him with a book. Daniel could see the headlines now, “Teen brutally beaten to death by friend with textbook – Reason unknown”

Fortunately, Jisung put down the book in his hand but continued to yell at Daniel. “You stop it now, Kang Daniel! Keep your hands to yourself.”

“It’s true, Jihoon was the one that asked to come over,” Seongwoo chipped in. Daniel thanked the gods above that his best friend wasn’t completely useless after all.

“And you!” Jisung turned to face Seongwoo. “You let Kang Daniel sit in a room with his crush who has a boyfriend?”

“He promised me his jellies,” Seongwoo offered his and Daniel’s bet like it was supposed to resolve the situation. Never mind, Seongwoo was useless after all.

Jisung broke free from Seongwoo and Woojin’s grip to take a seat back on his chair and put a hand to his forehead. “Please never do that again. I practically had a heart attack when i heard that.”

Daniel kicked at non-existent dust on the ground. “Don’t think it will, Jihoon started crying out of the blue and left.”

Now Seongwoo was interested again. He cocked his head at Daniel. “I didn’t leave for you to make him cry!”

Jisung stood up and gave Seongwoo a hit on his shoulder before turning to face Daniel again. “What did you do to Jihoon?”

Frustrated both with himself and his friends, Daniel plopped onto the floor and buried his face into his hands. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to do now, should he go and check on Jihoon? What if Jihoon just wanted some time alone?

Sighing at Daniel, Jisung shook his head in disapproval. “I told you it could get out of hand. I think you should just leave him alone.”

Sure, Jisung was the level headed one in their group. If there was someone Daniel had to choose to listen to from his group of friends, it was Jisung. But was Jisung’s advice worth taking this time? Daniel had screwed up in one way or another – he just wasn’t sure how to fix it.

-

Daniel hesitated approximately five times before knocking on Jihoon’s door. He had managed to slip away from Jisung after dance practice to come and check on Jihoon. Now that he was actually here, his mind was in a blank. Daniel had come up with ten different ways to explain to Jihoon why he had come looking for him, but he didn’t expect Daehwi to answer the door.

“Daniel hyung,” Daehwi greeted, not opening the door fully.

“Hey. Is uh… Jihoon inside? Can I talk to him?” Daniel tried to sneak a peek into the room but Daehwi was not letting up. 

Looking behind him, Daehwi answered, “Jihoon looks busy. Maybe you should come back another time.”

Daniel was taken aback by Daehwi’s answer, he was sure Jihoon would at least want to see him and explain what happened back there. 

“Okay,” Daniel decided not to reason with Daehwi. “Tell him I said he can come look for me anytime.”

Daehwi nodded curtly, then closed the door behind him. 

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon didn’t hear the knock on his door under his covers until he heard Daniel’s voice from outside. Jihoon peaked out, and saw Daehwi mouthing the words “Daniel’s here” to him before shaking his head and burying himself under the covers on his bed again.

“Jihoon looks busy, maybe you should come back another time,” Daehwi said and Jihoon heard him close their bedroom door.

After his small breakdown in Daniel’s room, Jihoon had ran back to his room, face still stained with tears. Daehwi and Jinyoung were shocked to see Jihoon in such a vulnerable state, and said nothing when Jihoon proceeded to lie on his bed for the next few hours. 

Jihoon felt a dip on the side of his bed. 

“Daniel said you could look for him if you needed to,” Daehwi said, putting one arm on Jihoon.

“He probably hates me,” Jihoon choked out. Jihoon was the one who had suggested he and Daniel come together to discuss his assignment, and he had blown up at Daniel for no reason. If anything, Daniel was the one who had all the right to be angry with him.

“I don’t think he would’ve come all the way here to ask for you if he hated you,” Daehwi reasoned. “Whatever happened back there, I think you two need to talk it out.”

Right, talk to Daniel about his stupid breakdowns. As if Daniel would want to listen to that.

“Don’t let him walk away,” Daehwi said and left Jihoon to lie down alone on his bed again. 

Jihoon remembered how Daniel was avoiding him during their first semester here. He also remembered how lost he felt during that time. 

“I rely on you too much. So don’t turn your back on me, or I’ll have no one else to turn to.” 

That was what Jihoon had said to Daniel back then, and he had told the truth. For the ugly mess he was, Jihoon had no idea why Daniel was still sticking around. Daniel had proven so many times that he was Jihoon’s friend, and all he was doing was pushing Daniel away.

Jihoon made up his mind. Daehwi was right, he wasn’t going to let Daniel walk away like that. Throwing the covers off himself, Jihoon could only hope Daniel hadn’t gone too far.

-

Fortunately, Jihoon found Daniel loitering around the area when he left his room. Daniel hadn’t seen Jihoon yet, and was looking at snacks in the nearby vending machine. Jihoon probably looked like a mess right now, he didn’t even have the chance to wash his face since he left Daniel’s room.

Jihoon stood behind Daniel, who was still choosing his snack from the vending machine. He cleared his throat, and Daniel turned around quickly.

“Oh! Jihoon. I thought you were busy – so I was waiting around for you. Ah, forget what I said. Are you feeling better now?” Daniel’s eyes were filled with concern and Jihoon’s heart was pricked with guilt for not wanting to see Daniel earlier on.

“I’m better now. And I just wanted to say I’m sorry, for earlier,” Jihoon didn’t know where to look. “I don’t know how to explain myself, I was just really stressed and-“

Jihoon was caught off guard when Daniel cut him off by wrapping his arms around Jihoon’s back. It felt strange, different from Daehwi’s forceful but sincere hug. It was also different from Guanlin’s usual coffee smell filled, loving hug. Daniel’s hug made Jihoon feel… safe.

“You don’t have to explain anything. I’m just glad you’re okay. Just don’t shut me out like that again,” Daniel said.

Of course, Daniel would never have expected anything more from Jihoon. Jihoon felt stupid for even daring to think that Daniel would never have forgiven him for this. Glad that he wasn’t going to lose someone like Daniel tonight, Jihoon found his hanging arms giving Daniel a hug back as well.

“Now, you will continue our story of the prince and knight, right?” Daniel said when he pulled away.

“I would never give that story up for anything in the world.” And Jihoon meant every word he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i read all your comments - i really do.
> 
> and some of you have pointed out how stressed you get from school or work or just life in general. this chapter is dedicated to you. i know how it feels like to feel super stressed, so i just want you to know you're not alone, and you can get through this.
> 
> i hope my updates will at least provide a source of happiness in your day, it's the least i can offer :)
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter. do let me know how you felt about this one in the comments!  
> ps; i recommend looking at happy things before reading the next one.


	16. i loved you, i love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure you're alone, grab a drink, and make yourself comfortable.
> 
> the next chapter is not an easy one to get through.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon was over the moon. He had gone to see his professor regarding his progress on his newest assignment and had gotten an approval to go ahead and finish up whatever he needed to do.

“See? You had absolutely nothing to worry about,” Daniel had said when Jihoon told his “partner” the good news.

Jihoon was also busy with supervising the filming on set with Jisung. Although he had no reason to be there, Jisung had insisted he be there because he was the only one who knew the exact feelings the actors and actresses to be portrayed there. Daniel was also busy with preparing for the second round of his dance competition, and the only time they could meet to discuss the story was before Daniel’s dance practice at night.

Sometimes, Jihoon felt like he was exploiting or making use of Daniel. Although he had tried many times over to convince Daniel that he had done enough to help him, Daniel would insist on lending his help to Jihoon.

Daehwi and Jinyoung were out meeting their project group mates that night, so Jihoon asked Daniel to come over to his room instead. He wasn’t sure if Seongwoo was actually studying in his room, but he still felt guilty for using their room to work all the time.

There was a knock on Jihoon’s door, and he shouted, “Come in, it’s unlocked!”

Daniel opened the door and strolled into the room, wearing a big grey oversized shirt that would probably swallow Jihoon up if he was the one wearing it. 

“How is our famous Park Jihoon coping with his work?” Daniel asked. They had an inside joke between them whenever they worked on the story together where Daniel would treat Jihoon like he was already a famous writer.

Shaking his head while laughing, Jihoon replied, “Not so good, assistant Kang.”

Jihoon felt his bed dip as Daniel took his usual spot opposite Jihoon at the bed’s end. 

“What’s up with our prince and knight? Have they been giving you trouble?” 

Yes, they referred to the characters in the story as real-life people. It was another inside joke of theirs. 

“My professor says the storyline is good. But if I want to write a children’s story for this assignment, I have to start thinking about the illustrations as well,” Jihoon sighed. Jihoon had totally forgotten about the drawings inside children’s books that he had to include to make it an actual storybook for children.

“I’m no artist, I’m in the creative writing course,” Jihoon complained.

Daniel grinned as if he had just thought of something. Pulling out some papers from his files and passing it over to Jihoon, he said, “We all start somewhere, and practice makes perfect. Sketch me.”

“I don’t see how this is going to help me out in any way,” Jihoon lamented, but sat up and started drawing the face of the boy sitting opposite him.

Jihoon wasn’t an artist, but he wasn’t terrible at it either. His skills were above average, or so he had thought. His mother had even signed him up for art class when he was younger. So when Daniel grimaced at Jihoon’s drawing of him, he got a little offended.

“You’re telling me that’s me? The handsome, cute, sexy and overall perfect Kang Daniel? It looks like you need a lot of practice,” Daniel folded his arms.

Jihoon looked at the drawing again. It wasn’t that bad, at least Daniel had eyes, nose and lips. He could have improved on the face shape.

“I think you’ve caught Seongwoo hyung’s disease, you aren’t that great,” Jihoon stuck out his tongue at Daniel. If he wasn’t going to appreciate the drawing Jihoon had done for him, Jihoon wasn’t going to entertain him either.

“Why do you call Seongwoo hyung but not me?” Daniel put his laptop down and faced Jihoon. “I’m literally three years older than you.”

Jihoon had never spared a second thought to addressing Daniel without honorifics. Now that he thought of it, he called Jisung and Seongwoo hyung, but never Daniel. It was because he felt comfortable enough with Daniel to drop the formalities around him.

Remembering that Daniel had just insulted his drawing, Jihoon joked, “You don’t deserve the same respect.”

Wrong move. Daniel was now grabbing Jihoon by his legs and tickling him at every exact spot Jihoon was ticklish at. Jihoon tried to trash his way out of Daniel’s grip, but boy was Daniel strong. It must have been the dancing over the three years. When Jihoon was breathless from laughing too hard, Daniel finally stopped tickling him but still would not let him go.

“Say you’re sorry,” Daniel was also breathless from holding Jihoon down. Jihoon figured playing basketball for the past few weeks did do his body and health some good.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Jihoon finally conceded defeat.

“Say ‘I’m sorry handsome, cute, sexy, perfect Kang Daniel hyung’,” Daniel grinned as he emphasised on every word.

“I’m sorry handsome, cute, sexy, perfect Kang Daniel… hyung,” Jihoon choked out and Daniel finally let him go. 

“What did you eat to become so strong?” Jihoon huffed as he straightened his shirt.

“That’ll teach you to respect your elders,” Daniel commented. “Kids these days.”

Jihoon would have retorted Daniel’s argument with a “I’m nineteen, I’m no kid” if there wasn’t a knock on his bedroom door. Slipping off his bed with Daniel still grinning at his small victory against Jihoon, he unlocked the door without much thought. Jihoon had thought Daehwi or Jinyoung was back from their project meeting but they had forgotten to bring the key with them.

So when Jihoon saw his boyfriend, standing outside his room door in a denim jacket and black jeans and his signature rounded glasses, Jihoon couldn’t find the right words to greet Guanlin properly.

“Guanlin? What are you doing here?”

-

It was safe to say Jihoon had not attempted to text Guanlin back ever since his breakdown in Daniel’s room a week ago. Jihoon had long convinced himself that the main reason was that he didn’t want to bother Guanlin while he was busy in school. Deep down, Jihoon knew he was being petty about Guanlin not returning his texts and wanted to see how long it would take Guanlin to finally text him first. Jihoon had in no way, expected Guanlin to take a three-hour train down to his school and knock on his dorm door.

“I needed to see you, urgently,” Guanlin explained calmly, as if he had expected Jihoon to react this way the whole time.

“Okay, uh… I guess I have time. Just let me change, do you want to come in?” Jihoon stuttered, not sure what he was supposed to say to Guanlin now.

“Sure,” Guanlin smiled, as if it were no big deal that he had just made an appearance in front of his boyfriend after ignoring his texts for weeks.

“You met Daniel previously at the waterpark,” Jihoon explained when Guanlin raised his eyebrows at Daniel, also shocked, who was still sitting down on Jihoon’s bed. 

“Daniel, could we stop here for today? I’m sorry,” Jihoon apologised. 

Daniel looked at his handphone before replying, “It’s fine. I have dance practice in ten anyway.”

Jihoon was still in a daze from Guanlin suddenly showing up in his room, and picked out a clean shirt from his cupboard to change into. He managed to smile at Daniel before saying, “Thanks” and locked himself in the bathroom to change.

Daniel had left when Jihoon came out of the bathroom. Guanlin was looking at some of the pictures Jihoon had put up on his study table. There was a picture of Daehwi being squashed in between Jihoon and Jinyoung when they went to support Daniel and the rest at their first dance competition. 

There was another picture of Jihoon with Minhyun, one he had begged Jisung to take for him one day. Jihoon’s face felt flushed as soon as he thought of how shy he was back then to ask Minhyun for a picture. 

And there was another picture in a frame, which was purposefully faced downwards. Jihoon cursed in his mind. It was the picture of him and Guanlin with lollipops in their mouth. He hadn’t picked up the picture frame since weeks ago, it was part of his petty nature showing itself again. Guanlin put the picture frame upright, dusted it and turned to face Jihoon.

“Are we going to go for dinner?” Guanlin smiled, showing no sign that he was upset that the picture frame of him and Jihoon was faced downwards.

Jihoon nodded, then remembered the gift he had gotten from the figurine shop weeks ago. Jihoon grabbed the plastic bag, then left the room with Guanlin trailing behind him.

-

Guanlin didn’t want to hold his hand, Jihoon was sure. They were walking in silence on the streets outside Jihoon’s school. Although Jihoon was annoyed at Guanlin from before, he found his hand searching for the warmth Guanlin’s usually brought him.

There was none. Guanlin focused his sight at the road in front of them and Jihoon was sure Guanlin was avoiding holding his hand. Guanlin was usually very observant, and knew when Jihoon wanted to hold his hand in public. Convincing himself not to care, Jihoon brought Guanlin to a café in the school he had discovered with Daehwi and Jinyoung weeks ago.

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon finally asked when they had ordered their food and found a comfortable seat near the window of the café. Jihoon probably sounded cold, but Guanlin showed no reaction to his sudden outburst.

“I think I owe you an explanation,” Guanlin said, looking at Jihoon in the eye.

“What about?” Jihoon didn’t want to play dumb in front of Guanlin, he knew they both knew exactly what Guanlin was talking about. 

“I told you I would never let you feel lonely even when we were apart. And I haven’t kept that promise, and I’m sorry for that,” Guanlin said.

Jihoon bit his lip as he remembered. He remembered exactly how Guanlin had said that exact sentence to him. It was in his bedroom, where Guanlin was right next to Jihoon as he carefully read his acceptance letter from Wanna Be college. At that time, Jihoon already knew Guanlin was going to a university near his hometown. Although he was happy to be accepted in his dream course, Jihoon was filled with worry about being separated from Guanlin.

Jihoon crossed his arms, not daring to look at Guanlin. 

“You ignored my texts,” Jihoon stated. “Why?”

“I was busy,” Guanlin replied, and Jihoon hated how Guanlin never missed a beat when Jihoon was questioning him. It was almost as if Guanlin could predict what Jihoon was going to ask him, and had the answers prepared in his brain.

“I was busy too,” Jihoon answered. “I’m drowning in assignments. I go out to supervise the filming almost all the days of the week. But I’m still trying to keep a decent relationship with my boyfriend.”

Jihoon knew he was saying things he didn’t mean now. He was hurt, and was just trying his best to justify his actions. He knew he shouldn’t compare his and Guanlin’s lives, it wasn’t being fair to Guanlin.

“I know,” Guanlin mumbled. “I tried my best too.”

“Did you?” Jihoon shot back. “Sorry, it just didn’t feel like you tried. It felt like all you wanted me to do was stop bothering you.”

“I would never want you to do that,” Guanlin was now taken aback.

Jihoon’s next reply was cut off by the waitress bringing them their food. Jihoon was thankful that the small distraction had given him time to carefully think about what he wanted to say next. He was pissed with Guanlin, but he was sick of arguing. All Jihoon wanted was to make up with his boyfriend, and for everything to be back to normal again.

Jihoon sighed when the waitress left, and dropped his eyes. “Look-“

“I’m sorry too,” Jihoon wanted to say. “Let’s start over,” Jihoon wanted badly to reply.

“I promise you I tried my best. But…” Guanlin took a sip of his coke before continuing. “I think that you deserve more than my best.”

Jihoon didn’t know how to reply to that. He didn’t have prepared answers in his brain for that statement. Jihoon’s hand instinctively reached for Guanlin’s, but Guanlin pulled away.

“I like you, Park Jihoon. You showed me the best things in life. I just don’t think I could ever bring you as much happiness as you brought to me.”

No, no, no. This was not happening right now. Jihoon’s heart was started to beat wildly in his chest.

“I thought about you, about us. I realised I haven’t been fair to you at all. I don’t think I deserve someone like you,” Guanlin continued.

Jihoon wanted to cover his ears with his hands and scream at Guanlin to stop talking, but he couldn’t move to even open his mouth to retaliate. All he could do was listen in silence and shock.

“Jihoon, I think we should stop seeing each other.”

There it was, the words Jihoon feared the most in this world. Even during their worst arguments, none of them had dared to utter these words. Jihoon’s grip tightened around the plastic bag with Guanlin’s figurine he was still holding under the table.

Tell him no, tell him to stay with you. Tell him you’re sorry, tell him that we should try again. Jihoon was screaming at himself in his mind.

All he could manage was, “Do you really mean that?”

Jihoon didn’t know what he was saying now. Guanlin was his entire world, next to his family. Guanlin made him feel happy, he made Jihoon laugh when he was down. He kissed Jihoon like Jihoon was the only person that mattered to him. 

“I meant all the things in our relationship. I meant all the things I said to you. I meant all the things I did with you. And I mean it when I say you’re better off without me.”

Jihoon wanted to scream at Guanlin, that he was wrong, that he was utterly and completely wrong. That he was nothing without Guanlin.

I am nothing without you.

Usually, words came easy to Jihoon. This time, there were none.

Guanlin had given up on him, on them. 

“And I think I mean it too,” Jihoon finally said. “When I say you should never look me up again.”

Jihoon wanted to turn back and take one look at Guanlin before he left, but resisted. If he looked one more time at those eyes that sparkled when they looked at Jihoon, or if he looked one more time at those lips that had stolen his first kiss, Jihoon was afraid he would never be able to leave.

Jihoon felt his hands clench tightly into two fists as he walked away. His vision was blurred by the tears he had been holding back. No, he was not going to cry today. 

When he was out of Guanlin’s sight, he let his tears flow. 

**(Daniel)**

Daniel saw Jihoon stomp out of their school’s café, just like Guanlin told him Jihoon would. Daniel hesitated, he wanted to turn back and go back to dance practice but he felt his heart lead his legs to Jihoon even before he could decide against it.

Jihoon cried like it was the only thing he knew how to do. Jihoon didn’t hold back, or maybe he was attempting to, but it wasn’t working. Jihoon’s tears had long stained his shirt, but Daniel was willing to offer up all the shirts in the world just for Jihoon to stop crying.

Daniel didn’t ask him what was wrong, he didn’t think he had to. It was obvious that Jihoon was heartbroken, or maybe just broken. Daniel held Jihoon so close to him, he was sure Jihoon could hear his raging heartbeat. If Jihoon did, he showed no sign of it. All Jihoon did in Daniel’s arms was cry. 

Daniel wanted to hate the boy that made Jihoon cry like this. Who could ever have the heart to make someone so happy, and take it all away from the same person just like that?

“He didn’t love me,” Jihoon sobbed into Daniel’s chest.

Daniel wanted to agree. Yes, he never loved you if he could walk away from you so easily. But he knew if Guanlin never loved Jihoon, he wouldn’t bother to ask Daniel to follow them and be there for Jihoon when he needed it most.

Jihoon continued to sob like his life depended on it, and his hands were still clenched tightly together in two fists. Daniel tried to pry open Jihoon’s hands and when he finally succeeded, he saw the nail marks on Jihoon’s palm, and it hurt to see Jihoon hurt himself over someone else.

“I wasn’t good enough for him,” Jihoon continued, and a fresh flow of tears streamed down his face.

No, you were too good for him.

“No one loves me,” Jihoon cried. That was when Daniel decided he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore. There was a boy in his arms, a boy he didn’t know how he had come to adore so much, and the boy believed that he wasn’t loved just because someone else broke his heart.

“I like you,” Daniel pat Jihoon’s back like he would to a baby.

Silence. The air was only filled with the sounds of Jihoon’s cries.

“No. I love you.”

Jihoon looked up at Daniel and Daniel could now see his face properly. Bluntly put, Jihoon was a mess. His hair was in a mess, his face and eyes were red from crying so much, and his lips were swollen from biting down on them to stop his crying. 

Then, Jihoon smiled the saddest smile Daniel had seen in the whole world. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I do love you,” Daniel replied, his heart nearly bursting from saying the words he had repeated in his mind a thousand, no, million times.

Jihoon shook his head, still smiling his sad smile. “That’s what you think. You’re going to get sick of me, like Guanlin got sick of me. You should stop now, it’s not going to do you any good by sticking with me.”

Daniel didn’t know if he had just gotten rejected by the love of his life, but he wasn’t going to let anyone deny his feelings for Jihoon, not even Jihoon himself.

Daniel smiled as he swept the hair that was covering Jihoon’s eyes away.

“Look at me,” Daniel said, and to his surprise, Jihoon did.

“I love you, Park Jihoon.” 

And suddenly Jihoon was kissing him, and Daniel was kissing back. Jihoon was crying again, and Daniel felt Jihoon’s tears fall onto his lips. Jihoon was resting his hands gently on Daniel’s shoulders now, and Daniel used one of his arms to pull’s Jihoon’s waist closer to him.

“I loved you from the start, from the first time you smiled at me. From the first time you cried on my shoulder, and the first time you fell asleep while eating dinner. I fell for you over and over again, and I will keep falling for you till the end.”

That was the only thing Daniel could think of as he was kissing Jihoon. They stayed together like that for a while, Jihoon in Daniel’s embrace, until Jihoon pulled away first.

Daniel’s heart swelled at the other’s smile, he was positive Jihoon was sure of his feelings now. He had proven himself, right?

Jihoon shook his head, as if answering Daniel’s question.

“You don’t love me. You just think you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry ;-; 
> 
> it finally happened, i'm not sure how i feel about this chapter either.
> 
> i got genuinely sad writing this as well.
> 
> still, i want to know how you guys feel about it!! take care and see you on tomorrow's update :)


	17. strong boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought a lot as to whether i should write this chapter.
> 
> a lot of us only see one side of the story, i think we should always try to understand both ends.
> 
> the next chapter is written entirely in guanlin's pov, enjoy!

It was no exaggeration to say Park Jihoon was the first person Lai Guanlin laid his eyes on when he walked into the classroom. The teacher was introducing him now, and the other students in the class were sizing him up, Guanlin was sure. Some boys looked at him with malice, some girls didn’t bother to spare the new boy a second glance.

Only one boy looked at Guanlin with the same type of insecurity that Guanlin was feeling. Guanlin wondered if he knew back then that he would already fall for Jihoon, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Jihoon’s eyes searched Guanlin, but not in the same way the others in the classroom did. 

When Guanlin messed up his introduction in front of the entire class because of his limited Korean, he didn’t feel the same hatred for Jihoon as when the other students in the class tried to hide their laughter. Jihoon smiled, but Guanlin knew Jihoon wasn’t laughing at him, he was laughing with Guanlin. Like the fates of main characters in a drama, Guanlin was to be Jihoon’s new seatmate. 

They didn’t talk at first. Guanlin was afraid that he would mess up in front of Jihoon and embarrass himself. Guanlin tried his best to listen to the professor droning on about some math equations at the front of the class, but couldn’t understand a single word.

“Do you need some help?” Guanlin looked up from his sketchbook he was doodling on to see Jihoon looking at him. 

“Huh?” Guanlin put down his pen and quickly closed his book, embarrassed to let Jihoon see this side of him.

Jihoon smiled like he understood. Jihoon opened Guanlin’s textbook to the correct page, then helped Guanlin circle the questions the class was currently working on with his pencil.

Back then, Guanlin had thought Jihoon was just being nice to him. That was all Jihoon was to him, a nice and kind person. 

-

When Guanlin saw Jihoon sitting alone at lunch on his first day, he hesitated to join him. He had long assumed that Jihoon had his own group of friends, given how friendly and nice he had been to Guanlin. What he didn’t expect was for Jihoon to wave him over.

“Thank you,” Guanlin said as he put his tray down and sat opposite Jihoon.

Jihoon laughed, and Guanlin instantly felt his adoration for Jihoon grow at the melodic sound of his laugh. 

“What are you thanking me for?” Jihoon asked, picking at his food. “You should be staying away from me, just like everyone else.”

Guanlin only understood part of what Jihoon had said back then. Looking back, Guanlin felt his heart prick with guilt. He didn’t understand what Jihoon said, Guanlin only wanted Jihoon to keep him company.

-

Later, Guanlin learned (or rather, observed) why Jihoon had said that to him that lunch. The people in school treated Jihoon like he was invisible, Jihoon had no friends. During their physical education period, no one ever picked Jihoon to be on their team. When Guanlin came to school early, he would see Jihoon sitting alone at his table, while everyone else in class were talking excitedly to their friends.

“Hi, Jihoon,” Guanlin greeted one morning.

“Hey, Guanlin,” Jihoon replied, not paying much attention to Guanlin. 

Guanlin was never one to have friend problems. Back in his hometown, he was friends with many people in his cohort. He had to admit he was quite popular back then, being the captain of the basketball team. Now, he had suddenly been thrown into an unfamiliar environment; the language, the people, the way things worked here, nothing felt like home to him.

Guanlin had many things he wanted to say to Jihoon, he just didn’t know how. He wanted badly to tell Jihoon how much he wanted to be his friend, for them to get to know each other better. Biting on his lower lip, Guanlin resolved to get better at Korean so that he could have just a decent conversation with Jihoon.

-

Guanlin clearly remembered the day he fell for Jihoon. He had decided not to go for lunch that day to work more on his Korean. When the teacher dismissed their class, all his classmates rushed out the class, eager to be the first in line for lunch.

Jihoon, like Guanlin, showed no sign of leaving the classroom. Jihoon opened his math textbooks and buried his head into his books.

“Aren’t you going for lunch?” Guanlin asked, and felt happy when he managed to deliver the sentence in perfect grammar and pronunciation. The studying was finally paying off.

“I’m not hungry,” Jihoon replied. “What about you?”

Guanlin paused to decode whatever Jihoon had just said. He’s asking you why you’re not eating too, dummy.

“I want to study my Korean,” Guanlin answered.

Jihoon closed his textbooks and peered over to what Guanlin was working on. Guanlin was embarrassed to show his practice work to Jihoon, his handwriting was messy, and he had highlighted almost half of every page.

“Do you need help?”

Guanlin nodded enthusiastically at Jihoon’s offer. Guanlin quickly shifted his chair closer to Jihoon so they could share the textbook.

“I don’t understand this one,” Guanlin said as he pointed out a particular grammar rule he had been having difficulty with the past few days. 

“This is actually easier than you think,” Jihoon explained, but Guanlin wasn’t listening anymore. 

The rest, as they say, is history.

-

Another day Guanlin would have etched into his mind forever was the day he had asked Jihoon out. It had been two months since Jihoon had started tutoring Guanlin during their break times, and Guanlin’s Korean had improved tremendously.

Guanlin was officially Jihoon’s only friend, and Jihoon was Guanlin’s only friend. Everyone in their class knew you wouldn’t find one without the other following nearby. They ate their lunch together, were always picked to be in the same sports team, and walked home together.

Guanlin started to wonder when was the appropriate time to confess to Jihoon about his feelings, or if it was ever going to be appropriate. Jihoon had confessed to Guanlin about him liking boys one month back, when they were walking back home together one night. Guanlin wanted to confess to Jihoon there and then, but decided to be sure of his feelings before asking Jihoon out.

“Your Korean has improved so much, you’re practically a Korean now,” Jihoon commented Guanlin was walking Jihoon back home one night.

“It’s all thanks to you,” Guanlin replied. 

“I have more things I’m thankful to you for,” Jihoon meant to say it in a soft voice, but Guanlin had learnt to adapt to Jihoon’s habits, and felt his heart swell at Jihoon’s comment.

Guanlin felt Jihoon’s hand brush against his own, and in the spur of the moment, he took Jihoon’s hand in his. It felt good to finally hold Jihoon’s hands after months of resisting.

“Guanlin? What are you doing?” Guanlin heard Jihoon ask, but Jihoon made no attempt to let go either.

Guanlin stopped walking, and so did Jihoon. Guanlin took advantage of them being alone to pull Jihoon closer to him. Guanlin was almost half a head taller than Jihoon then.

“What’s going on with you?” Jihoon was now flustered and looked around to make sure no one was looking at them.

“I think I like you, Park Jihoon,” Guanlin confessed.

Jihoon was silent for a while, and Guanlin started to panic. Did he pick up the wrong signs from Jihoon? Did Jihoon only ever consider Guanlin as a friend? Did he just destroy his only friendship?

“I think I like you too, Lai Guanlin.”

And there it was, the words that Guanlin had been waiting for the past two months. He never should have doubted Jihoon.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Guanlin smiled, and he knew his gums were showing and his heart was thumping as he awaited Jihoon’s reply.

“Yes.”

-

Guanlin can’t remember a day where he and Jihoon were ever separated since then. Although he tried to keep in lowkey when they were in school, Guanlin just found himself instinctively taking Jihoon’s hand in the hallway or whispering sweet things in Jihoon’s ear while they were in class. He loved seeing how flustered Jihoon would get, and would earn himself a hit on his thigh secretly.

Guanlin’s first kiss happened in the classroom late one night, when all their classmates had gone home after night study. Jihoon was lying his head down on the table, a sign that he was exhausted.

“Cuddle with me,” Guanlin used his pen to poke Jihoon’s cheeks when the final student had left the class.

Jihoon woke up and rubbed his eyes sleepily. “We’re in school.”

“So? No one’s here,” Guanlin said as he buried his head in Jihoon’s chest.

“You big baby,” Jihoon squirmed in his seat and used his two hands to move Guanlin away.

Jihoon’s hands were still cupping Guanlin’s face when Guanlin sat up in his seat properly. 

“Do me a favour,” Guanlin said. 

Jihoon didn’t take his hands off Guanlin. “What is it?”

“Kiss me.”

And Jihoon did kiss him. Guanlin had nothing to worry about, he was in good hands whenever he was with Jihoon. Just him and Jihoon, against the rest of the world.

-

Guanlin knew Jihoon was slipping away from him. He knew it would happen since Jihoon came home for his vacation. Something about the air surrounding Jihoon was just… different. Jihoon was a brighter, happier version of himself. 

Guanlin was supposed to feel happy for Jihoon. His boyfriend had completed his first semester at his dream college, in his dream course. Jihoon felt like a completely different person to him. Before, Guanlin was the only person Jihoon relied on to get through the day. Jihoon used to look at Guanlin, hold Guanlin and kiss Guanlin like he was the only person in Jihoon’s world.

This was the new Jihoon. Without Jihoon himself realising, Guanlin had seen how independent Jihoon had grown during the past ten weeks they weren’t together. Jihoon was more outspoken, he didn’t hide in Guanlin’s embrace when they walked next to each other anymore. In fact, Jihoon often fixed his gaze on the road ahead of him instead of Guanlin himself.

Guanlin didn’t want to overthink the entire situation, but he knew that Jihoon was always destined for greater things. Ever since Jihoon received his acceptance letter from his dream college, Guanlin knew he would never fully occupy Jihoon’s world again. 

Jihoon had friends now too. It was strange for Guanlin to see Jihoon being friendly with other people, since the only person Jihoon stuck around in high school was Guanlin. 

Guanlin came to the decision that it wasn’t “Jihoon and Guanlin against the world” anymore. It was just Jihoon discovering more of the world ahead of him, and the only thing Guanlin was doing was holding him back. 

Guanlin made up his mind. He needed to explain his feelings to Jihoon in person. At the very least, Jihoon deserved that.

-

Guanlin wondered if he was still in love with Jihoon. The three-hour train ride made people think, he also wondered what Jihoon thought about on his two train rides. Did he think about Guanlin?

He wasn’t in love with Jihoon anymore. Not the way he was a year ago. 

-

The loud laughter coming from inside Jihoon’s room helped Guanlin to make up his mind. He hesitated on knocking on the door, he hadn’t returned any of Jihoon’s texts the past three weeks. Guanlin wanted to turn around and take the train home and pretend none of this was going to happen, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he had to face the cruel reality.

Jihoon answered Guanlin’s knock on his door, and he looked as shocked as Guanlin had expected him to be. Of course, showing up at his boyfriend’s door after ignoring him for weeks was not something Guanlin was used to do.

Jihoon invited Guanlin into his room, and Guanlin wasn’t shocked to see one of Jihoon’s friends he had met at the waterpark sitting on one of the bed’s (Jihoon’s, he assumed) in the room.

“You met Daniel previously at the waterpark,” Jihoon explained to him. Guanlin nodded, of course he remembered. 

Jihoon exchanged some sort of conversation with his friend, Daniel, and locked himself in the bathroom to change his clothes. 

“I’m Guanlin,” Guanlin introduced himself to Daniel.

“Daniel,” Daniel replied, a forced smile on his face. “I’ll get going now, have fun.”

Then, Guanlin said something he didn’t plan on saying on the way here.

“Wait.”

Daniel stopped in his tracks, and turned around to face Guanlin again.

“This might sound really stupid, but I think Jihoon’s going to need someone to comfort him later. Do you mind following us for a while, but without Jihoon knowing? I promise I won’t take much of your time,” Guanlin said in a lowered voice, hoping Jihoon wouldn’t hear any of their conversation.

“I’m sorry?” Daniel was looking at Guanlin like he had just asked Daniel to kill a dog.

“Be there for Jihoon. He might not try not to cry, but please just hold him in your arms and tell him it’s going to be okay. Tell him it was a bad decision to give his heart to a shitty boy like me.”

-

Guanlin looked through Jihoon’s study table where there were three photo frames, a calendar and many files and books. One of the picture was of Jihoon and an older boy, who Guanlin assumed was “Hwang Minhyun”, Jihoon’s idol. Jihoon had gushed to Guanlin countless times about how he wanted to write as well as Minhyun.

Guanlin was no fortune teller, but he already knew Jihoon was going to be an exceptional writer in the future.

There was another picture of Jihoon with his friends, Daehwi and Jinyoung. Guanlin had met them on the video call with Jihoon previously, but never in person.

“I guess I’ll never get to meet you guys,” Guanlin thought to himself. Jihoon’s friends were both friendly to him when they met on the video call, and he knew Jihoon was in good hands.

“Please take care of Jihoon for me.”

The last photo frame was faced downwards, and Guanlin, with his “clean freak” nature, helped to pick it up. It was a picture of Jihoon with Guanlin, both of them had lollipops in their mouths. Guanlin felt himself smile unconsciously as he recalled the day they took that picture together.

He cleaned off the dust on the picture frame and placed it next to Jihoon’s other photo frames. He heard the bathroom door unlock and turned around to face Jihoon.

“Are we going for dinner?” Guanlin asked. Guanlin knew he had a big appetite, but he strangely didn’t feel like eating anything today. He still tried to smile, and Jihoon nodded before showing him out the door.

-

Guanlin didn’t want to take Jihoon’s hand, he feared he wouldn’t be able to let go if he did. He could see Jihoon dropping hints to hold his hand, but Guanlin resisted. He wanted to explain to Jihoon, but that would have to wait.

Guanlin ordered his dinner, although he knew he wouldn’t be able to eat anything.

“I think I owe you an explanation,” he finally gathered the courage to start talking. Jihoon’s eyes flickered to him, and for a second, Jihoon looked like he was back to his old self – the one that relied on Guanlin for anything and everything. Then, it was replaced with the cold exterior Guanlin hated.

“I told you I would never let you feel lonely even when we were apart. And I haven’t kept that promise, and I’m sorry for that,” Guanlin continued.

He could see Jihoon biting his lower lip as he let the words flow out of his mouth. Jihoon was probably thinking back to the time Guanlin had said that to him. 

“You ignored my texts. Why?”

I didn’t ignore them, I saw them all. I wanted to reply you so badly, but I couldn’t. Guanlin mumbled a stupid excuse he made up on the spot.

“It just didn’t feel like you tried. It felt like all you wanted me to do was to stop bothering you.”

Guanlin wanted to apologise and refute everything Jihoon was saying to him. It was so easy to say he was sorry, that they should start over. But Guanlin knew their end was inevitable. 

Then, the waitress brought their meals to the table and Guanlin was thankful for the small distraction she provided so he could prepare his heart for what he was about to say next. Guanlin stole a glance at Jihoon, he looked sad. Knowing Jihoon, he would try his best to make it better for them again.

“I promise you I tried my best,” Guanlin said when the waitress left. He took a sip of his coke, and felt the slight burn on his throat. “But I think you deserve more than my best.”

“I like you, Park Jihoon,” Guanlin bit on his tongue, he would never be able to say those words again. “I don’t think I could ever bring you as much happiness as you brought me.”

Memories of them at the snack cart near their school flashed through Guanlin’s mind. Jihoon had showed Guanlin everything in his world, but Jihoon was in a different world now. 

“I don’t think I deserve someone like you.”

Guanlin didn’t realise how hard it was to speak his mind. 

“I think we should stop seeing other.”

He had said it, the words he dreaded hearing the most. Guanlin never expected he would be the one uttering those words to Jihoon. He thought he loved Jihoon too much to even think that they would be separated one day.

Guanlin picked at his fingernails as he waited for an answer from Jihoon, who had kept silent the entire time Guanlin was talking. He could see Jihoon look frightened for a moment. Then Jihoon looked sad, then angry. He could never imagine the surge of emotions running through Jihoon right now. 

“Do you really mean that?” Jihoon finally asked.

How was he to reply Jihoon? 

“I meant all the things I said to you.” Guanlin did, he really did. He meant it when he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jihoon, and all his lives after this one. He meant it when he said Jihoon was the most beautiful boy he had laid his eyes on in the entire world.

“I meant all the things I did with you.” Guanlin meant every kiss they shared, he meant it when he cuddled Jihoon to sleep all those nights they spent together.

“And I mean it when I say you’re better off without me.”

Jihoon may have been nothing with Guanlin a year ago. But now, the new and improved version of Jihoon was better off without him. And Guanlin was okay with that.

Jihoon contemplated what Guanlin said silently. And when he looked at Guanlin in the eye again, Guanlin recognised a glint in his eyes that he had never seen in Jihoon before.

“And I think I mean it too,” Jihoon said. “When I say you should never look me up again.”

I won’t.

Jihoon stood up from his seat calmly. Then, without a second look at Guanlin, he left the café. Guanlin was about to leave when he saw a black plastic bag on the chair Jihoon was sitting on. He thought about calling Jihoon back, then decided to see what was inside.

It was a small figurine keychain. Jihoon had remembered that Guanlin liked collecting these small figurines. Holding the figurine in his hand, Guanlin decided not to go after Jihoon.

Guanlin glanced outside, and saw Jihoon walking further away from him. From afar, Guanlin could see Jihoon’s hands clenched tightly together in a fist. Guanlin knew Jihoon was trying his best not to cry, he knew Jihoon hated it when he cried; he thought it made himself look weak,

If there was one thing about Jihoon that Guanlin knew would never change, it was that he was strong. Park Jihoon would always be the strong boy that Lai Guanlin once loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i'm evil for writing panwink right after the previous chapter ;;
> 
> i just didn't want anyone to dislike guanlin. jihoon might not be able to see it, but guanlin isn't a bad person.
> 
> i hope u enjoyed this chapter as much as you did for the others! the pov will return to normal jihoon/daniel next chapter onwards!
> 
> let me know how you feel about guanlin~ take care and see you in tomorrow's update!


	18. catch me if you can

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon cried till he had no tears left, till his heart stopped hurting when he thought of Guanlin. He had never shed so many tears before, and all he wanted to do now was just to lie down on his bed and dream this nightmare away. Jihoon looked up Daniel, who was still holding Jihoon in his arms, but Daniel’s gaze was now fixed far away.

“I want to go back to my room,” Jihoon said, breaking the silence between them. Jihoon lifted Daniel’s arm which was still on his waist and stood up.

“I’ll walk you back,” Daniel offered. 

“Don’t,” Jihoon said and walked away. He knew Daniel would follow, but made no attempt to stop him. Jihoon could barely wrap his head around what happened the past hour. Guanlin showed up at his doorstep, and broke up with him. Daniel confessed his feelings to Jihoon, and Jihoon had kissed him in the spur of the moment.

“I said don’t push me away.” 

Daniel grabbed Jihoon’s wrist. Jihoon didn’t want to push Daniel away, in fact, all he wanted was for Daniel to hold him close and tell him it was going to be okay. 

Jihoon didn’t reply, and let Daniel hang onto his arm the whole way back to his room. It was an awkward position for anyone to spot them in, but Jihoon was in no mood to tell Daniel otherwise. 

Daniel walked Jihoon back to his room like he said he would. Before Jihoon could turn the knob on his door and disappear into his room, he turned back once more to look at Daniel. Jihoon knew deep down that Daniel did like him, Jihoon just wasn’t sure if he could accept any more love into his life right now.

“I have a question for you, Kang Daniel,” Jihoon spoke up. Daniel’s hair was messy and un-styled, just the way Jihoon liked it. Jihoon wanted to run his fingers through Daniel’s messy, brown hair.

“What are we?” Jihoon fiddled with his shirt sleeve as he asked Daniel the question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. 

Daniel bit his lower lip and looked at the ground as he contemplated Jihoon’s question.

“We’re friends, of course,” Daniel smiled.

“Do friends kiss each other like that?” Jihoon challenged with the little strength he had left in himself.

“I didn’t confess to you to hear an answer. I just wanted you to know you were loved by at least one person in this world,” Daniel answered. Jihoon was shocked, he was sure Daniel wanted to be more than just friends after what had happened between them back there.

“Head on in, I’ll leave after making sure you don’t run off anywhere else,” Daniel continued and pointed to Jihoon’s hand which was still on his door knob.

Jihoon had many things he wanted to talk with Daniel about. About whether he truly meant what he said when he said he loved Jihoon. He also wanted to apologise for kissing Daniel when he wasn’t in his right mind, he wanted to apologise for how unfair he had been to Daniel.

All Jihoon decided to do was open his room door. Daehwi and Jinyoung immediately stood up when they saw Jihoon’s tear stained face and rushed to his side. It turns out, Jihoon hadn’t cried his fill. A new burst of tears unleashed themselves when Daehwi asked, “What happened?” and Jihoon was quickly ushered into the room. When Jihoon looked back, Daniel wasn’t there anymore.

“Guanlin broke up with me,” Jihoon explained in between his sobs.

Daehwi and Jinyoung met eyes, both shocked at the news Jihoon and Guanlin (the world’s cutest couple, or so they had thought) had broken up.

“Oh, Jihoon,” Daehwi said after getting over his shock. “I’m so sorry.”

The two spent the rest of their night comforting their heartbroken friend. “I know you loved him,” Daehwi said while patting Jihoon’s back. Jinyoung didn’t say much, but he passed Jihoon the tissues he needed to dry his continuous tears.

Later that night, Jihoon decided he wasn’t going to leave Daniel hanging.

**To: Daniel**

**I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your confession right now. It wouldn’t be fair to you for me to be unable to reciprocate the amount of love you’ve shown me so far.**

Jihoon turned off his phone and decided to get some sleep. Within a minute, his phone lighted up, signalling that Daniel had replied him.

**From: Daniel**

**I understand. I’ll wait for you.**

**(Daniel)**

Daniel opened his room door cautiously, and tried to sneak a peek into his room to see if Jisung was waiting in there for him. 

“Jisung hyung isn’t here, come in,” Daniel heard Seongwoo call out. Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Daniel entered his room. Seongwoo was sitting on his bed, and Woojin was sitting on Daniel’s. 

“You better have a good reason to ditch us during dance practice today,” Seongwoo said as he crossed his arms. Woojin nodded as he waited for Daniel to explain himself.

Sighing as he plopped next to Woojin on his bed, Daniel wondered how he was supposed to summarise the entire situation to his friends without sounding too dramatic?

“It’s fucked up,” Daniel managed. 

Seongwoo rolled his eyes. “Not as fucked up as leaving us alone. Don’t give me that bullshit and spill.”

Daniel sat up again. His friends were going to find out one way or another, it wouldn’t be so bad if he told them the truth now.

“Remember Guanlin? Jihoon’s boyfriend?” Daniel began. 

“Yeah?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrows and Daniel could hear Seongwoo’s inner thoughts from across the room. He could almost hear his friend was thinking “Where the fuck is he going with this?”

Daniel took a deep breath before continuing. “He came to our school. And he broke up with Jihoon. I was there, I comforted Jihoon while he was crying. I might or might not have told him how I felt for him there and then-“

“Wait, wait. Did I hear you right? You confessed to Jihoon right after his boyfriend broke up with him? Are you fucking out of your mind?” Seongwoo held out his hand for Daniel to stop talking.

Daniel nodded his head, he deserved this reaction from Seongwoo. He wasn’t in his right state of mind, he didn’t mean to burden Jihoon with his confession right after he broke up with Guanlin.

“I know. But then…” Daniel cringed as he recalled the kiss with Jihoon. Jihoon was the one who had leaned in, but Daniel should have stopped him. Daniel was at fault for letting Jihoon do that to himself.

“Geez, that is fucked up,” Woojin commented. Daniel was half shocked to hear Woojin curse for the first time, but the other half of him was grateful to Woojin for cutting him off. Daniel didn’t think he should tell his friends about the kiss, if they let it slip to Jisung, Daniel would have to move out of the country.

Seongwoo was at a loss for words for once. 

The three sat in silence while Daniel tapped his foot on the floor impatiently for someone to react.

“You know,” Seongwoo finally said. “Jisung hyung is going to kill you when he finds out.”

-

That night, Daniel received a message from Jihoon. He didn’t expect Jihoon to get in touch with him so soon, and was nervous to open the new message.

It was Jihoon saying he couldn’t accept Daniel’s feelings, for now. And as disappointed as Daniel was, he understood. It was his fault for confessing at the wrong time. What Jihoon needed now was space and time to sort out his feelings, and Daniel decided to give him just that.

Daniel couldn’t sleep that night. He checked the time on his phone. 4am. Daniel unconsciously unlocked his phone and landed on Jihoon’s and his message log. He was going to regret this when he woke up.

**To: Jihoon**

**Are you still going to let me be there for you?**

When there wasn’t any answer from Jihoon, Daniel figured he was probably asleep. (Or ignoring his message) Hoping it wasn’t the latter, Daniel tossed around in bed for a while before falling asleep.

When he woke up the next morning, Jihoon had replied.

**From: Jihoon**

**Yes.**

**(Jihoon)**

Anyone would think Jihoon would spend the rest of the week crying his heart out in his bed under the blankets. Half of that was true, Jihoon did spend the rest of the week mostly in his room, but he was practicing the illustrations for his assignment.

Daehwi and Jinyoung were Jihoon’s biggest help during his post-breakup period. They took turns trying to keep Jihoon’s mind off his breakup. Daehwi brought Jihoon to a pretty café and talked non-stop about himself. Jinyoung was being a little less dramatic about the breakup, and played video games with Jihoon in their room together.

Overtime, Jihoon did feel the pain in his heart lessen. Sometimes when Jihoon caught a glimpse of Guanlin’s name on his contact list, he would feel the pinch in his chest. It was inevitable, Daehwi had assured him, that he would constantly think about Guanlin. Jihoon thought he was dealing with the breakup better than he expected, and resolved not to let this affect his studies.

The other big problem bugging Jihoon was Daniel. He had not seen Daniel ever since the day of the breakup. Jihoon had thought through what had happened thoroughly, which was why he told Daniel to keep being there for him. At first, he was glad Daniel was giving him the space he needed to heal. After not seeing Daniel around for more than a week, Jihoon was starting to feel the emptiness Daniel used to fill when they were together.

-

Daehwi had insisted on the three of them going to the supermarket together.

“We don’t even cook,” Jinyoung had argued when Daehwi interrupted his studying. His friend earned himself a deadly glare from Daehwi for even voicing the facts.

“Maybe we should start now. I’m sick of the school’s food,” Daehwi complained. “Plus, we all need some fresh air. I feel like I’m going to suffocate if I spend another minute in this room.”

Jihoon shared Daehwi’s exact sentiments. He wasn’t in the mood to leave his room the past week, but now that he was getting over his breakup, he was beginning to feel stuffy in the small room, so he was grateful that Daehwi dragged them to the supermarket together.

“Do you know how to cook fried rice?” Jinyoung asked as he followed Daehwi and Jihoon from behind. He had lost in their game of rock, paper and scissors on the way here and was made to push the trolley.

“There’s nothing I can’t do when I put my mind to it,” Daehwi smiled as he picked out a carton of eggs from the dairy corner. Jihoon didn’t say it, but he was as doubtful about Daehwi’s cooking skills as Jinyoung was. 

The feeling of being outside did feel good to Jihoon though, and he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

Daehwi and Jinyoung were arguing about whether carrots went into fried rice when Jihoon heard two other voices arguing at another section of the supermarket. Curious about what was happening, Jihoon followed the angry voices.

Jihoon recognised the voices before he saw who was behind them.

“You CAN’T eat three boxes of ice-cream by yourself, don’t be a fucking idiot.”

If it wasn’t Seongwoo’s colourful choice of vocabulary that Jihoon recognised, it was Daniel’s familiar puppy voice he used when he wanted something from someone else.

“Please, Seongwoo. I can’t let any of these flavours go. They’re limited edition. And I know I can finish them, I’ve done it many times over.”

“Hey,” Jihoon walked up to the two friends. He thought it would be a good time to interrupt the two then, since Seongwoo was just seconds away from punching Daniel in the face, and Jihoon knew it wouldn’t be pretty scene to watch.

Daniel quickly shifted his attention from the ice-cream boxes in his hand to Jihoon, and immediately broke out into a smile. Jihoon didn’t notice this before, but Daniel’s toothy smile was contagious. Seongwoo’s frown disappeared when he looked at Jihoon, and waved as a greeting.

“Doing your own shopping, Jihoon?” Seongwoo asked.

“Daehwi says he wants to cook for us. Jinyoung’s saying he can’t. I have to be here to make sure one of them doesn’t kill the other,” Jihoon joked. Daehwi and Jinyoung had spotted the three of them talking, and were walking over to join the group now.

“I hear there’s a heated debate going on as to whether Daehwi is the next MasterChef Asia” Seongwoo said when Daehwi and Jinyoung greeted the two.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, and Daehwi nodded his head. “I have this great idea to cook-“

Then, Daehwi clapped his hands like the brightest idea in the world had just come to him. “Seongwoo hyung, Daniel hyung, you should come along for dinner today. I’ll make you the best fried rice you’ve had in your entire life.”

Jinyoung groaned like it was the worst idea in the world, and Seongwoo nodded like Daehwi was a genius. 

“Jihoon, what do you think?” Daehwi asked. Everyone turned their attention to Jihoon, waiting for the final say.

Jihoon was only looking up at Daniel who was still smiling at him, and he knew the answer before he said it.

“I would love that.”

-

Much to everyone’s surprise, Daehwi’s fried rice was a big success. Jihoon had his doubts, but they were erased as soon as he had his first spoon. Jihoon’s big smile was enough of an indication to Daehwi, who was waiting with bated breath for everyone’s reaction, that his fried rice was a hit. 

Daniel and Seongwoo ate like they were starving for weeks, and cleared their plates as soon as Daehwi served them his fried rice. 

“Slow down,” Daehwi chided. “There’s more than enough to go around.”

Jinyoung enjoyed Daehwi’s rice as well, although he was convinced Daehwi had secretly slipped in three packets of MSG into the rice while they weren’t paying attention.

Daehwi’s fried rice had such a big impact that students from other dorms entered the common kitchen and requested for Daehwi to cook another plate of rice for them. Pretty soon, the kitchen was crowded with students Jihoon had never seen in his life. 

“I never expected to have a fried rice party in college,” Daniel commented when he finished his plate of rice.

“I experienced a lot of things I didn’t expect I would when I came to college,” Jihoon replied.

Daniel didn’t know how to reply Jihoon, and Jihoon was suddenly aware of how long it had been since they had last talked. He didn’t know what else to say to Daniel now that they were together.

“How are you?” Daniel finally asked. Jihoon didn’t need to think twice to know that Daniel was asking about his breakup

“Honestly?” Jihoon replied. Daniel nodded.

Honestly, I’ve been thinking of you. I’ve been thinking about how I want to run my fingers through your messy hair. I’ve been thinking about you and your oversized hoodies. I’ve been thinking about you, Kang Daniel.

“I’ve never felt better,” Jihoon smiled, and it wasn’t a complete lie.

“I’m happy to hear that. I really am,” Daniel returned Jihoon’s smile with the same type of radiance. 

Jihoon fiddled with his fingers. He wasn’t sure what this feeling was. Something he felt about Daniel had changed. He was suddenly aware of all the things Daniel did out of habit (like pushing his hair back with his long fingers, and that for some reason made Jihoon go crazy) and how pretty Daniel’s laugh was when Seongwoo told a joke.

-

Jinyoung invited Seongwoo and Daniel to their room after dinner to play some video games, complaining that “He had never played against someone good” and that “Jihoon and Daehwi are terrible at games.” Jihoon wanted to argue, but knew that it was true. Besides, now that he had somehow ended up lying down next to Daniel in his bed, Jihoon wasn’t about to tell Jinyoung inviting them over was a terrible idea. 

In Jihoon’s defence, Daehwi and Jinyoung had refused to let anyone sit on their bed. Jihoon was just being nice by offering his bed to his tired friend, right?

“Are you tired?” Daniel asked. “I can tell Seongwoo we need to leave if you want to rest.”

“I’m fine,” Jihoon replied, perfectly contented with how close Daniel was to him.

“Liar,” Daniel laughed as Jihoon felt his eyes closing. “I’m serious, I think you need some sleep.”

When Daniel shifted in his place, Jihoon instinctively grabbed Daniel’s hand. 

“Don’t go.”

Daniel turned to face Jihoon, and Jihoon was sure he was blushing furiously. Daniel stared at Jihoon for a few seconds, then grinned.

“What did you say?” Daniel whispered. “Say it again, so I can hear you.”

“You heard me,” Jihoon’s face was now hot, and he had never been this embarrassed in life.

“I know,” Daniel teased. “I just want to hear you say it again.”

Jihoon let go of Daniel’s hand and turned around so his back faced Daniel. He used his hand to fan himself, since when did it get so hot in his room?

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Daniel conceded defeat and poked Jihoon’s cheeks.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

If any of their other friends in the room saw Daniel reaching to hold Jihoon’s hand again, they didn’t say anything about it. 

**(Daniel)**

Unlike Seongwoo’s frightening prediction, Jisung did not attempt murder when Daniel finally got around to telling Jisung that Jihoon had broken up with Guanlin. Jisung was more shocked at the sudden news, and started panicking and blabbering something about how he “shouldn’t push Jihoon so hard during this period”.

Daniel held back from telling Jisung about the kiss too. He decided that was to remain private between him and Jihoon. 

“Just promise me you won’t be so eager in moving in for the kill,” Jisung sighed, not looking up at Daniel, who was expecting Jisung to throw a book at him anytime. Sometimes, Daniel was terrified at how well Jisung could read his mind.

“Sure thing, hyung,” Daniel smiled, relieved he didn’t need to pack his bags and move out of Korea. 

Daniel was about to leave before he was reminded of something he wanted to ask Jisung.

“By the way, who are you going to yoga class for?” Daniel swung his arms around Jisung’s shoulders. 

Daniel felt Jisung tense up before shaking Daniel’s arms off.

“Don’t meddle in my business, brat,” Jisung scolded.

“Is he cute?”

Daniel knew he was asking for the death penalty when the question escaped his mouth. He couldn’t help it, when he wasn’t thinking about Park Jihoon, he was busy wondering who Jisung was skipping classes to see. Daniel felt Jisung’s glare on him as soon as he turned to face Daniel.

Much to Daniel’s surprise, Jisung simply replied, “Let’s just say you have your miserable and hopeless love life, and I have mine.”

-

Daniel was lazing around on his bed one afternoon when there was a knock on his door. Seongwoo had long left for his extra classes, so Daniel had the room to himself that day.

Whoever was at the door was definitely impatient, they knocked a few more times as Daniel got up from his bed to open the door.

“I’m coming,” Daniel called out as he struggled to put on a shirt. Who was disturbing his peace and quiet this Sunday afternoon?

“Can I help-“ the door flew open as soon as Daniel unlocked it and he was immediately tackled by Jihoon’s hug before he could complete his sentence.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jihoon gushed as he wrapped his arms around Daniel’s waist. If Daniel wasn’t enjoying Jihoon’s hug so much, he would be shocked at how strong Jihoon had gotten since the last time. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Jihoon let go of Daniel and waved a piece of paper in front of Daniel’s face.

“I got an A for my assignment on our story,” Jihoon grinned. Daniel narrowed his eyes to read the tiny word on the paper, and was delighted to find out Jihoon had indeed been granted an A on his story “The Knight and the Prince”.

“That’s amazing, you deserve it,” Daniel was as happy as he would be if he ever got an A in any of his classes. 

“I never could have done it without your help,” Jihoon replied, his eyes still sparkling with happiness. Daniel was sure he could stare into those eyes for hours, or days.

“Stay still,” Jihoon said to Daniel, who was still daydreaming about staring into Jihoon's eyes.

Before Daniel could ask why, Jihoon tiptoed and gave Daniel a peck on his right cheek.

Smiling cheekily, Jihoon said, “I meant that one.”

Daniel knew how easily embarrassed Jihoon would get whenever he attempted to do something sweet. He also knew Jihoon would run away after doing something like this.

Daniel grabbed Jihoon’s arm and pulled him into his embrace before he could flee out the door. 

“You can’t just leave after doing something like that,” Daniel thought he sounded tough when he said that in his head, but it came out sounding somehow clingy. “Take responsibility for your actions.”

“I think I can,” Jihoon replied and attempted to get out of Daniel’s strong grip, but Daniel held the boy tight in his arms. "And I'll do whatever I want."

“Wait,” Daniel grinned as he realised something. “Does this mean you’re opening up your heart to me now?”

Jihoon smiled, but it was a sly smile. 

“Catch me if you can.”

That was enough of an indication for Daniel to shut the door and wrestle Jihoon onto his bed. He was glad Seongwoo wouldn’t be back till late that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how is everyone feeling about nielwink in this update?
> 
> i promised you nielwink fluff, so the next chapter will definitely be full of it ;)
> 
> take care and see you on tomorrow's update!


	19. playing games

**(Daniel)**

Chasing after Jihoon’s heart was not as easy as Daniel had expected it to be.

Despite knowing about Daniel’s feelings, Jihoon had said that he didn’t want them to “take it too fast” and wanted them to remain as good friends before “making further progress”. Daniel knew Jihoon was good with words, but he didn’t make any sense to Daniel. It just sounded like a rejection to Daniel, although Jihoon had assured him he was not.

Over the past few weeks, the two had grown chummy with each other. Daniel wanted to stick close to Jihoon, but was unsure if it was the right time to ask Jihoon about their relationship for fear he would get rejected again.

“Daniel? What are you doing here?” a curious voice distracted Daniel from his thoughts and he looked up to see Minhyun giving him a strange look. 

Daniel had slipped away from his friends earlier on and ran through two buildings to catch Jihoon for lunch after his creative writing lecture. Daniel had managed to memorise Jihoon’s timetable after waiting for him to end class the whole of this week. It was embarrassing to a certain extent, but Daniel decided to take pride in it.

“I’m just waiting for Jihoon to end his class. Why aren’t you inside?” Daniel asked. He knew for a fact that the lecture Jihoon was having now was supposed to include students from every year. Why wasn’t star student Hwang Minhyun attending his lessons?

“It’s nothing. I just had someone I wanted to meet,” Minhyun replied, looking a bit embarrassed but he quickly managed to switch back to the calm exterior Daniel was familiar with. Daniel nodded absentmindedly and tapped his foot impatiently while waiting for Jihoon’s professor to end the lecture. 

“So… are you and Jihoon together yet?” Minhyun asked with a knowing smile on his face. Daniel silently cursed, did he look that desperate for Jihoon’s love to people watching?

Daniel tried to laugh it off, and shook his head. “No, not yet. I’m trying my best.”

Minhyun returned his smile and nodded like he understood Daniel’s predicament. “I know how that feels. I think they’re about to come out soon. I’ll see you around then?”

Daniel waved goodbye to his friend and the lecture doors opened, a cold blast of air conditioning hitting Daniel in the face. He tiptoed to spot Jihoon, knowing how good he was at escaping. Jihoon emerged from the lecture hall a few seconds later than the first few, and was chatting with a boy Daniel didn’t recognise. 

“Park Jihoon!” Daniel called over the crowd of students. Jihoon looked around for the voice that called for him, and merely smiled when he saw Daniel waving to him. He then turned back to continue talking with the unidentified boy.

Daniel was about to shout for Jihoon again, but he saw a few students pointing at him and whispering among themselves. He decided to go up to Jihoon himself.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go have lunch,” Daniel said as he swung one arm protectively around Jihoon’s shoulder and tried his best to look intimidating to the boy Jihoon was talking to. 

“Daniel!” Jihoon hissed and squirmed his way out of Daniel’s grip. Jihoon plastered a cute smile on his face before turning back to the boy.

“Sorry about him. Shall we meet at the library tonight then?” Jihoon continued to ignore Daniel’s presence.

“I’ll see you there at 8pm! Bye!” the boy waved and left.

Jihoon continued to wave to the boy until he was out of sight, then frowned as he turned back to Daniel. If he wasn’t looking so annoyed, Daniel would be overjoyed that he had finally gotten Jihoon’s attention.

“What was that for?” Jihoon complained as Daniel put his arm around Jihoon again.

“I just wanted to have lunch with you,” Daniel tried to put on his puppy look that Jihoon had pointed out a few days ago. He was confused as to whether it was a good thing Jihoon thought he resembled a dog at first.

“By the way, who was that? And why do you put on that smile when you talk to him?” Daniel asked, and by “that smile” Daniel meant the smile Jihoon used when he knew he was being cute and wanted to get something out of someone. As innocent as Jihoon looked on the outside, Daniel knew he could be sneaky sometimes.

“He’s my partner for my newest writing assignment,” Jihoon said without much thought as he took his place at his usual table. Daniel naturally beside him even though there was a bigger seat opposite them. 

“You were being jealous back there.”

Daniel didn’t even try to deny to Jihoon that he was jealous. Jihoon saw right through him.

“Well… when you said you opened up your heart to be a week ago I thought you meant I was special,” Daniel pouted as he reached for Jihoon’s hand under the table. He had gotten used to taking Jihoon’s hand secretly in front of other people. He couldn’t help it, all he wanted to do was hold Jihoon’s hand all day long.

Jihoon shifted closer to Daniel so that there was almost no more space between them.

“When I said I opened up my heart again, I meant that I was open to dating again. And that doesn’t just include you,” Jihoon said and stuck his tongue out at Daniel.

Park Jihoon was playing his usual game of tug of war with Daniel now. How could he say something like that while letting Daniel hold his hand under the table? Daniel hated how hopelessly in love he was with this boy that he would put up with this.

“At least tell me I’m the first in line,” Daniel mumbled.

“You’re the first contestant I’ve held hands with. I like holding your hand,” Jihoon smiled, and Daniel felt like his heart was going to explode whenever this side of Jihoon showed.

“You’re so fucking cheeky,” Daniel blurted out. 

In his head, he said, “You’re lucky I’m in love with you.”

Jihoon let out a giggle before letting go of Daniel’s hand. “You should go. Daehwi and Jinyoung are going to be here soon.”

Daniel wanted to protest, then thought of having to explain to Daehwi why he was holding Jihoon’s hand when they weren’t even going out and decided it would be best if he left. Grudgingly, Daniel stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder.

“Be careful when you’re going out at night. Text me if you finish up late at the library, I’ll walk you back,” Daniel said.

There was a playful glint in Jihoon’s eyes as he blinked innocently at Daniel and replied, “What are you? My boyfriend?”

“That’s what I’m trying to be,” Daniel thought as he waved goodbye.

Jihoon jokingly made a kissy face at Daniel before he left. If there wasn’t so many people in the cafeteria, Daniel would have grabbed Jihoon and kissed him on the lips there and then. 

This was the game Jihoon wanted to play with him. Sometimes Daniel hated how obvious it was that Jihoon had Daniel perfectly wrapped around his finger. Park Jihoon was not going to be easy to get.

-

“I’m fucking sick of you, Kang Daniel,” Seongwoo slammed his books down on his table when he got back from extra classes that evening.

“What is it now?” Daniel groaned as he changed into a new shirt for dance practice that night.

“I’m going to vomit in my throat if you and Park Jihoon keep fooling around like that. When are you going to ask him out?” Seongwoo fixed his death glare upon Daniel. 

Daniel grinned at the thought of Seongwoo being disgusted at his actions, then replied, “I don’t know. I’m scared of him not liking me back.” 

Daniel was confused, he thought he knew the real Park Jihoon. But these few weeks of flirting around without establishing their relationship made him doubt Jihoon’s actual feelings towards him.

Seongwoo threw his arms up in frustration. “Of course he fucking likes you, what the fuck. He’s literally waiting for you to ask him out. Everyone knows that, why can’t you see it. You might be stupid, but you’re not blind.”

Daniel bit his lip nervously. He wanted to ask Jihoon to officially go out with him, but he didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure if Jihoon was as serious about him as he was about Jihoon himself. The games that Jihoon had been playing were starting to get to his head.

“I’ll think about it. Do you have extra classes again tonight?” Daniel asked.

Seongwoo shook his head in disbelief. “Yeah, but don’t even think of doing the nasty with him if you can’t even gather the courage to ask him out.”

Daniel was about to protest when Seongwoo sighed and walked out of their room without waiting for Daniel to follow. He wanted to scream at Seongwoo that he was feeling frustrated too, but only silently followed behind his friend.

**(Jihoon)**

“I don’t get him,” Daehwi complained when he sat down opposite Jihoon at their usual lunch table with Jinyoung following silently behind.

“Who?” Jihoon replied.

“Kang Daniel,” Daehwi said. Jihoon felt his heart jump at the mention of Daniel, but tried to keep it as lowkey in front of his friends as possible.

“What about him?” Jihoon questioned. He was at a loss for guesses as to what kind of problems Daehwi had with Daniel.

“When is he going to ask you out?” Daehwi lamented as he opened his lunchbox to reveal the sandwich he had made for himself that morning. Without saying anything, he split the sandwich in half and handed one half to Jinyoung, who was still silently listening in on their conversation.

Jihoon felt his face redden at the thought of Daniel asking him out. They had spent the past week uselessly flirting with each other without really establishing their relationship. As much as Jihoon wanted Daniel to ask him out officially, he was still frightened about getting into another relationship. Jihoon was sure Daniel felt unsure about them as well, which was why he wasn’t making any moves yet.

“I don’t know,” Jihoon said as he poked at the food on his tray.

“I should have known,” Daehwi said. “That he liked you from long ago.”

Jinyoung nodded. “Maybe he’s waiting for you to ask him out instead.”

Jihoon was mortified at the idea, he didn’t think he had it in him to ask Daniel out himself. He was scared, he didn’t know what to say.

Daehwi nodded in agreement at Jinyoung’s statement for once. “You should make the first move.”

As much as Jihoon wanted to trust his friends, he was still afraid that Daniel was playing around with him, which was ironic since Daniel had confessed to him over and over. The anxiety and insecurity started to creep into Jihoon’s mind once again that Daniel didn’t really love him.

“We’ll see,” Jihoon mused and that was the end of that conversation as Daehwi talked about the next dish he was going to attempt to make for everyone. 

**(Daniel)**

The last person Daniel had expected to see when he finished dance practice was Jihoon. Jihoon was waiting outside the practice room when Daniel turned off the lights and left.

“Oh? Did you come from the library to see me?” Daniel grinned at the sight of Jihoon. “You should have knocked and came in. It’s dangerous to be out here alone at night.”

Jihoon returned Daniel’s smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I was just passing by and thought I could help Jisung hyung check on whether you were actually practicing.”

Daniel was in an especially good mood because dance practice had gone well and now that he and Jihoon were alone, he was starting to feel brave about finally asking Jihoon out.

“Shall we take this back to my room?” Daniel joked as he put his arm around Jihoon’s waist. Jihoon smelt nice, like peaches.

Jihoon frowned, but made no attempt to get away. “I write, you know. I know how dangerous boys like you can be.”

Silence.

“But I like my boys dangerous,” Jihoon teased. 

“What am I? A type of coffee?” Daniel laughed. “How’d you like me? Iced? With an extra shot?”

Daniel’s joke sent the two into a serious laughing fit. One of them would stop laughing, then would catch a glimpse of the other, and start laughing again. Daniel’s stomach was starting to hurt, and he could feel the tears coming out of his eyes.

It was a cool night, and Daniel was holding Jihoon close to him as they laughed without a care in the world. Daniel made up his mind then, he knew there was nothing he wanted more in this world than to spend the rest of his life making this boy happy.

-

“I’m never going to get used to seeing you go around half naked,” Jihoon commented when Daniel came out of the bathroom. Jihoon continued to cover his eyes as Daniel looked for a shirt to put on.

He had somehow convinced Jihoon to spend time with him in his room since Seongwoo was going to be back late. Jihoon had been in his rooms a countless number of times now, and Daniel had already gotten used to seeing Jihoon lying down on his bed. This time, however, was different. Daniel was ready to finally ask Jihoon to be his.

“You’re going to have to get used to it one way or another,” Daniel said as he sat beside Jihoon.

“What does that even mean? Talking in riddles doesn’t make you any cuter, you know,” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

Daniel wasn’t going to let Jihoon take the upper hand this time. “So you think I’m cute?”

Jihoon was evidently surprised at Daniel’s comeback. “You can’t play my game.”

“I’ve had enough of playing games with you,” Daniel confessed.

“Well?” Jihoon challenged, a small smile tugging on his lips. “What do you want to do then?”

Daniel’s didn’t want to be dramatic, but he was sure his entire life had been leading up to this moment, right now. He was plain, boring Kang Daniel before, and he still was the same Kang Daniel now. The only difference was that he now had the love of his life in his bed (not in that way) smiling back at him.

“This,” Daniel said as he leaned closer to Jihoon’s lips.

Jihoon stopped him by putting his palm to Daniel’s lips. Daniel opened his eyes in surprise at Jihoon’s sudden rejection. Had he misunderstood Jihoon’s feelings?

“I’m still waiting for you to ask,” Jihoon explained.

Daniel’s heart swelled as he realised what they had been missing.

“Right. Sorry, I was getting too excited at the thought of having you to myself.”

Daniel took a deep breath before fixing his gaze onto the same eyes that stole his heart from the start.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend? Can I kiss you?”

Jihoon smiled, and there was no sadness or slyness behind it this time. There was only pure happiness.

“Yes, and yes.”

Daniel immediately leaned in towards Jihoon and kissed him as soon as the answer escaped Jihoon’s lips. It felt different from their first time, there was no one giving more than he received, there was only pure love between the both of them. Daniel felt Jihoon’s fingers combing through his damp hair and took the chance to caress Jihoon’s face with his hands. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Jihoon confessed when he broke the kiss. “Your hair feels so soft. Just like how I imagined it would be.”

“Do it again,” Daniel said before kissing Jihoon again. He wanted to stay like this forever.

And they probably could have, if the Daniel’s door didn’t fly open with Jisung calling out, “Niel? Have you seen Jihoon- Oh my god, oh shit, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean- “

Daniel immediately turned to frown at whoever had broken the kiss he and Jihoon were sharing and leaped off the bed when he saw Jisung attempting to shield his precious eyes from the scene he had just barged into. Jihoon sat up quickly too, his face as red as a tomato.

“Hyung!” Daniel yelled. “I told you to knock before coming in!”

Jisung was still covering his eyes. “I know! I just didn’t expect. Holy shit, where is Seongwoo and why did he allow for this to happen?”

Daniel wanted to dig a hole for him and Jihoon right there and jump into it. Jisung put his hands down and started to fan himself with them instead.

“Is this what you kids are up to when the adults aren’t around?” Jisung pointed his finger accusingly at Daniel like he was accusing him of murder.

Daniel would have argued with Jisung that he and Jihoon were practically adults themselves when Seongwoo waltzed into the scene, and it didn’t take long for his friend to infer what had just happened.

“You’re fucked up, Kang Daniel! What did you do to Jihoon?” Seongwoo’s eyes grew big as he focused his attention on Jihoon who was still sitting in Daniel’s bed.

“We didn’t do whatever you’re thinking about!” Daniel waved his hands in protest. 

Jisung let out a loud sigh as he walked out of the room. “I need to lie down, I can’t believe I just witnessed that.”

Seongwoo followed behind Jisung, yelling, “Don’t leave me alone with them!”

Daniel would have lost his mind then if Jihoon didn’t come up from behind and hold his hand.

“Regret being my boyfriend yet?” Jihoon asked.

“Not now, not ever,” Daniel smiled, and gave Jihoon a quick kiss on his forehead before going after Seongwoo and Jisung to make sure they wouldn’t freak out on anyone else.

**(Jihoon)**

It took Daehwi and Jinyoung a few days to get used to Daniel and Jihoon’s overflowing public display of affection. Jinyoung would wince every time Daniel held Jihoon’s hand in public and Daehwi would look away when Jihoon gave Daniel a kiss on his cheek. 

“It’s a new couple thing. I’ll give them two months before they’re over the kissy faces, tops.” Seongwoo had assured Daehwi and Jinyoung.

Behind his friend’s overdramatic reactions, Jihoon knew they were genuinely happy for the both of them.

Daniel had been nothing less than the perfect boyfriend, he filled the empty space in Jihoon’s heart as if he was made for it. Jihoon didn’t feel a big change in his life after he had made it official with Daniel, and he knew it was because Daniel had already been feeding him the same amount of love long before. Jihoon’s only regret was not realising this earlier.

-

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon blurted out one day while they were both huddled up next to each other on Jihoon’s bed. Jihoon was working on an assignment on his laptop, and Daniel had just fallen asleep.

“For what?” Daniel opened his sleepy eyes to look at Jihoon. He looked so cute when he was sleepy.

Jihoon bit his lips as he recalled how he had kissed Daniel out of desperation after Guanlin had broken up with him with them. He also thought of all the times he had shown affection for someone else when Daniel was by his side the entire time.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry for a lot of things,” Jihoon said, half regretting bringing up this topic.

“What’s wrong?” Daniel sat up when he realised Jihoon wasn’t saying this just as a passing remark. 

“Am I doing this wrong?” Jihoon put his laptop away and decided to speak his mind. “I mean, my last relationship was only two months ago. I don’t want you to feel like you’re just his replacement.”

Although Jihoon pretended to be neutral about this matter, his story about Guanlin and Daniel had somehow spread around the school. It wasn’t too big a matter, but he had heard some students talk about how easily he had gotten over Guanlin, and that he got together too quickly with Daniel.

“I’ve never felt like a replacement,” Daniel looked hurt that Jihoon would even think of their relationship in that way. 

“I know. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Jihoon sighed. He was letting his insecurities eat him up from inside again.

Jihoon felt Daniel reach for his hand under the covers. “I would’ve waited for you to heal no matter how long it took. To be honest, I was surprised too.”

Daniel paused to make sure Jihoon was looking at him before he continued talking.

“I was surprised because you took a bit shorter than I expected to heal. But looking back, I’m thankful to you for trusting me with your fragile heart again so easily.”

And just like that, Jihoon was rid of all the insecurities he had about Daniel and their relationship.

“It’s because I knew you were there for me from the start,” Jihoon replied. 

Daniel had made it easy for Jihoon to learn how to love and trust people again. And for that, he would be eternally grateful.

“And I’ll be there for you till the end,” Daniel assured, not letting go of Jihoon’s hand.

Somewhere along the way, Jihoon had realised he had long fallen for Daniel before he himself had realised it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy nielwink are finally a thing.
> 
> this isn't the end - there are still more things i have in store for this nielwink.
> 
> i'm sorry if the previous chapter seemed to progress too fast ;; 
> 
> i'm constantly torn between trying to keep the story moving at an acceptable pace without boring you guys with irrelevant scenes. still, thank you for being the most encouraging readers ever! I'm still trying to improve, so thank you for sticking around~ I hope the remaining chapters live up to your expectations ;;
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this update! take care and see you in tomorrow's update!


	20. runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! i was thinking of splitting this chapter into two different ones, then decided to spoil you guys anyway.
> 
> i'd appreciate if you could read my end notes after finishing this chapter!
> 
> for now, please enjoy~

**(Daniel)**

Daniel clapped his hands together as soon as he struck his final pose and the music stopped. For a few seconds, the practice room was only filled with sounds of his and his teammates heavy breathing. They had just finished their last dance practice before the second round of competitions that were taking place tomorrow.

“Good job everyone!” Seongwoo gave a thumbs up as a sign that practice had ended. Daniel quickly fetched himself a bottle of water from his bag and slumped down on the bench.

Daniel heard two knocks on the door before he saw Jihoon poke his head into the practice room. Instantly, his exhaustion from their gruelling practice faded and he stood up to welcome Jihoon, who was carrying two large plastic bags in his hands.

“Oh Jihoon!” Woojin waved as a greeting as Daniel quickly rushed to help Jihoon carry the bags.

“Hey Woojin! And Seongwoo hyung,” Jihoon smiled. “Jisung hyung you were here too?”

Jisung narrowed his eyes at Jihoon who looked shocked to see Jisung sitting in his usual corner in the room. “What? Did you not want to see me?”

“It’s not like that hyung,” Jihoon teased. “I just haven’t seen you around much.”

Seongwoo raised his brows when Daniel made eye contact with him behind Jisung’s back. Jihoon was right, Jisung hadn’t been around as much as he used to. But none of them were brave enough to meddle in his business, and kept their mouths shut for the sake of keeping their lives.

“I had to make sure there were no casualties before the competition. You know how clumsy your boyfriend,” Jisung paused to cough awkwardly, “Niel can be.”

“What’s this anyway?” Daniel asked as he took over the bags from Jihoon’s hands. Lifting the bags to have a closer look, he recognised a familiar store name on the outside of the bag – it was the fried chicken store situated right outside their school.

“You bought me chicken?” Daniel grinned. 

“It’s not just for you. It’s for Woojin and Seongwoo hyung too,” Jihoon snatched one of the bags back from Daniel and handed it to Woojin who had naturally gravitated towards the heavenly smell of fried chicken.

“Thanks, Jihoon!” Woojin celebrated as Jihoon handed him a bag of fried chicken and he ran to share it with Seongwoo.

Daniel smiled as he put one arm around Jihoon’s shoulder. He hadn’t had time to spend with Jihoon these few days because Seongwoo had insisted they spent more time perfecting their choreography before the competition day. The only time they had was the small breaks in between their classes.

“I missed you,” Jihoon said as he reached for Daniel’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Me too,” Daniel replied. “After tomorrow I’ll spend more time with you. I promise.”

Daniel would have tried to give Jihoon a kiss on his cheek if Seongwoo didn’t yell for them to quit fooling around and bring the other box of chicken to them.

“I think I might be being dramatic here but Daniel’s box has more drumsticks than ours,” Seongwoo complained as he side-eyed Daniel’s box of chicken.

Jihoon opened his mouth to protest otherwise when Daniel laid a hand on his thigh as if to say, “Don’t bother arguing with him”.

“Get a boyfriend if you think it’s unfair then,” Daniel retorted. 

“Fuck you. You know how much I hate boys,” Seongwoo sulked as he nibbled on a piece of chicken.

“Could you all keep it down over there? I can’t hear this voice message,” Jisung interrupted before Daniel could continue to roast Seongwoo. Daniel turned to focus his attention on Jisung, who was holding his phone to his ear and smiling foolishly to himself.

Daniel felt Jihoon tap on his shoulder. 

“Is Jisung hyung dating someone?” Jihoon whispered, also fearful that Jisung would hear him.

Daniel didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know, but I hope so. He’s getting old, he needs to find his life partner soon or he might die as a single man.”

“Maybe it’s that guy from the party,” Woojin grinned, his snaggletooth showing. Daniel cringed internally as he remembered Jisung admitting to sleeping with some guy from the party. He stole another look at Jisung, who was now furiously typing something onto his phone.

“The fact that there’s fried chicken in front of him and him choosing not to budge an inch tells me there’s definitely fishy something going on,” Seongwoo commented, not caring much about what Jisung was doing.

Suddenly, Jisung turned off his phone and noticed the others staring at him. Daniel quickly shifted his gaze but could hear Jisung getting to his feet and approach them from behind. Daniel, Seongwoo and Woojin exchanged fearful glances. Did Jisung hear them gossiping about his love life? If so, they had to prepare to get beaten to death.

Daniel said a silent prayer as he shifted closer to Jihoon when Jisung took a seat beside him. All of them held their breaths as they waited for Jisung to say something.

“You guys had chicken and didn’t tell me?” was all Jisung said as he reached into the chicken box to grab a piece for himself.

Daniel let out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He saw Seongwoo shaking his head and Woojin pretending to nibble on the piece of chicken in his hand. Without even looking at his friends, he knew they were all thinking the same thing; Jisung was definitely in love.

“Here,” Jihoon said as he handed another piece of chicken to Daniel who had finished his first piece.

“Thank you,” Daniel smiled as he gladly accepted. “Why aren’t you eating? Are you hungry?”

Jihoon shook his head as he laid his head on Daniel’s shoulder. He was probably tired as well from supervising the filming till late at night these few weeks.

“Watching you eat makes me feel full,” Jihoon said as he played with the hem of Daniel’s shirt.

Daniel felt himself smile unconsciously as he lovingly stroked Jihoon’s hair. He was glad his friends were currently arguing about the best way a steak was to be cooked to notice the two of them being lovey-dovey in front of them.

-

Daniel managed to slip away for a nice night walk with Jihoon after convincing Jisung that he would be back in his room by midnight to get “a good night’s sleep” before the competition tomorrow. 

“How’s your assignment with your partner going?” Daniel asked, emphasizing on the word “partner” jokingly.

“He has a name, it’s Donghan. And it’s going well, he has some great ideas I’ve never thought of before” Jihoon replied as they strolled around the campus hand in hand.

“That’s good,” Daniel said. “I was worried you would miss me too much to even function.”

Jihoon snorted, but Daniel knew he was smiling even when he though he couldn’t see Jihoon’s face well in the dark.

“More like I’m too tired to function because of filming,” Jihoon lamented.

“Do I have to fight Jisung hyung to make him work you less?” Daniel joked.

“Forget it. You can’t even ask him if he’s dating,” Jihoon replied. He was right, the only person Daniel was afraid of in this world was an angry Jisung. 

Daniel stopped in his tracks and bent down before telling Jihoon, “Hop on, I’ll piggyback you back to your room.”

Jihoon’s face lighted up. “Really?”

Daniel nodded confidently. “Anything for my tired boyfriend.”

Jihoon didn’t hesitate to climb onto Daniel’s back and wrap his arms around Daniel’s neck.

“Oomf,” Daniel couldn’t help but groan when Jihoon got onto his back, earning him a hit from Jihoon. 

“Don’t exaggerate, I’m not that heavy,” Jihoon whined.

Daniel managed a grin before marching ahead. “Of course not. You’re just perfect.”

Daniel continued to walk back to their dorm building with Jihoon still on his back when he felt Jihoon rest his head on Daniel’s shoulders. He glanced back to see Jihoon closing his eyes and giving in to his sleepiness. Daniel tried to adjust the way he was carrying Jihoon, and stopped cold when he felt Jihoon stir in his sleep. All Jihoon did was bury his head further into Daniel’s shoulder and continue sleeping. 

Daniel knocked on Jihoon’s door softly, hoping at least one of his roommates were in so he didn’t have to wake Jihoon up for the keys. Fortunately, Daehwi answered Daniel’s prayers and let him in.

With Daehwi’s help, Daniel managed to set Jihoon down on his bed and cover him with blankets without waking him. It was a wonder how Jihoon could have slept so soundly on Daniel’s back. Brushing away the hair from Jihoon’s eyes, Daniel leaned in to give Jihoon a kiss on his forehead.

“See you tomorrow.”

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon was up early the next morning. It was the day of Daniel’s second round of competitions, and he had promised to be there again with Daehwi and Jinyoung to support the team.

“Let’s go, hurry hurry hurry,” Jihoon rushed Daehwi and Jinyoung who were still half asleep to put on their clothes.

“I know you’re excited to see your boyfriend but don’t rush me,” Daehwi snapped as he rushed to pick out an outfit for himself.

“Better hurry, princess,” Jinyoung teased as he rushed out of the door, taking pride in not being the last to finish getting ready.

“Bae Jinyoung, don’t make me go over there and rip you apart,” Daehwi threatened as he grabbed his bag and followed behind Jinyoung. “I’m ready, let’s go.”

-

Jihoon was filled with anticipation as if he was the one performing later when he knocked on the waiting room door. 

“Come in!” he heard Seongwoo call out and he rushed into the room to see the team matching their steps for the final time before their performance.

“Our personal cheerleaders are here again!” Seongwoo greeted. “Where are the flowers today?”

“Daehwi woke up late, so we couldn’t get them,” Jinyoung replied apologetically and Daehwi said something back Jihoon couldn’t hear because he already had his attention fixed on Daniel. 

Daniel looked handsome on a daily basis, Jihoon was already fully aware of that fact. But there was something about his boyfriend in a white button up and tie that was driving Jihoon crazy as he approached Daniel. 

“Who allowed him to look so hot today?” Jihoon mumbled when Daniel waved him over to join him on the sofa. 

“Hey baby,” Daniel grinned when Jihoon took a seat beside him. Jihoon died a little inside from the pet name that escaped from Daniel’s lips so naturally. Fuck, he knew he looked good and was bent on making full use of it.

Jihoon felt his cheeks redden and managed to gather his emotions together before replying, “Don’t call me that.”

“What’s wrong, baby?” Daniel laughed as he pinched Jihoon’s cheeks. “Are you embarrassed?”

Jihoon would’ve given Daniel a piece of his mind right there when he decided to be nice instead and let Daniel off the hook because he looked extra good then. 

“Here,” Jihoon said as he passed a box to Daniel from his bag. “Your present. But you can only open this when you get through to the final round, which I know you will.”

“You’re the best present I could ever receive,” Daniel said. “But thank you.”

Jihoon smiled to himself as Daniel fiddled with the wrapping paper he had used to make the box look pretty. He was no art student, but he thought he had made the gift look more presentable than some of the gifts he had received from previous Christmas events he had attended before.

“Wanna Be college team, please get ready to go on stage, you’re the fourth team to perform today!” someone who Jihoon assumed to be part of the organising committee announced in the room.

Jihoon got up from his seat to go outside to the audience stands when Daniel pulled him back.

“I’ll do well for you, just wait and see,” Daniel assured, giving Jihoon’s hand one last squeeze. “See you later.”

Jihoon felt excitement creep into his veins at the thought of finally having some time for Daniel and himself later.

Gathering his courage, he gave Daniel a peck on his cheek.

“You look really good today, by the way,” Jihoon confessed and left before he could catch a glimpse of Daniel’s reaction, although he was sure Daniel had that foolish grin plastered on his face anyway.

-

Jihoon started to feel more anxious as the first three groups took their turns to perform. He knew Daniel’s team was good, it was just that the other teams were just as good. He chewed on his lower lip as the mc started to introduce the fourth team to perform.

Jihoon felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest when Daniel’s team took the stage. Right before the music started, he saw Daniel searching for him in the crowd and waved to get his attention.

“You’re going to do great,” Jihoon thought as he smiled at Daniel.

Although Daniel couldn’t hear him, he nodded as if he understood and got into his place and waited for the music to start.

“He’s going to be okay,” Daehwi, who was sitting next to him, assured. 

Jihoon had seen Daniel dance before, but it was different seeing it from the audience stands. Daniel let the music control him, his moves were carefully calculated yet fluid. Jihoon thought it was beautiful, how someone could move like that. There were moves that made him want to cover his eyes, and felt his cheeks flush when Daniel made sure to make eye contact with him during those moves. 

When the music stopped, Jihoon didn’t hesitate to jump up from his seat and cheer his loudest for Daniel and his team. Daniel was sweating profusely and breathing heavily, but managed to send a flying kiss towards Jihoon’s directions, causing a crowd of fans near Jihoon to scream excitedly. Jihoon flashed a thumbs up before they went backstage and another team took the stage.

“It was like watching celebrities perform,” Daehwi gushed, and Jinyoung nodded in agreement.

Daehwi was right, it felt like watching a professional perform on stage. The excitement was akin to being at a concert, and Kang Daniel was the only celebrity Park Jihoon could see.

-

The anxiety of waiting for the performance was over, but it was replaced by the even more intense anxiety of waiting for the results. 

Jihoon was almost sure that they would make it to the final round, judging by the amount of screams they drew in from the audience. He also knew how he shouldn’t jump to conclusions if he didn’t want to be hurt by the actual results.

Daniel waved to him as soon as all the teams were called out to the stage again. 

“They’re going to get in, right?” Jihoon heard Daehwi mumbling to himself.

There were only eight teams on stage, and four would make it to the final one. 

The vibration of his phone in his pocket distracted Jihoon from the anxious and tense atmosphere. It was an unknown number calling, and Jihoon decided to pick up.

“Hello?” Jihoon answered as he covered his other ear with his hand as screams erupted when the mc announced the third team to move onto the next round.

“Is this Park Jihoon on the phone? I’m calling from Gyeongsan public hospital,” a voice replied. Jihoon frowned when he couldn’t catch the second part of what the man was trying to say.

Jihoon tapped on Daehwi’s thigh to tell his friend that he was going to take a call, Daehwi nodded and Jihoon walked to a quieter area behind the stands.

“Sorry about that, could you repeat yourself?” Jihoon said when he could hear the man on the phone clearly now.

“Last but not least, the fourth team to move on to the final stage is… Wanna Be College!”

Jihoon jumped for joy when he heard the announcement and craned his neck for a better look at the stage from behind. He saw the team hugging each other and Seongwoo receiving the trophy.

“Hello?” Jihoon focused his attention on the phone call again.

“Park Jihoon, I’m calling from Gyeongsan public hospital. Your mother fainted while she was at work and she just got sent to the emergency room, are you able to rush over now?”

-

Jihoon couldn’t process the situation at first. He heard screams erupting from the stands as Seongwoo made his winning speech. On the other hand, he was trying to find out what exactly happened to his mother over the phone.

“I’m sorry? Did you say my mother fainted? What happened to her?” Jihoon sputtered, not knowing what to do next.

“She’s in critical condition, and we were told to call you by a boy named Lai Guanlin. Please come down immediately.”

“I understand, I’ll be there soon,” Jihoon answered numbly as he hung up.

So many things Jihoon didn’t understand. He only registered the words, “hospital”, “emergency room” and “Lai Guanlin”.

Guanlin. He must have been Jihoon’s mother emergency contact ever since Jihoon came to college. Something bad must have happened. Jihoon stole one final glance at the stage, where he saw Daniel making his winning speech. Then he remembered, he didn’t have the time for this right now.

Without a second thought, Jihoon flagged down a cab.

“To Seoul train station. Please hurry.”

-

**6 hours later**

Waiting for news from the emergency room was painful, but ignoring the continuous buzzing in his pocket hurt even more. Jihoon was sure his friends were trying to contact him since he had disappeared from the dance competition six hours ago.

The only message he had left was to Daniel.

**“I’m sorry. I’m safe. Don’t wait for me.”**

That was when Jihoon got on the train back home three hours ago, and hadn’t replied ever since. He was still feeling numb from what he had gone through the past few hours.

“It’s severe exhaustion. She needs to rest, but it’s going to be okay,” the doctor explained when Jihoon was finally allowed to see his mother. “She was overworked for a long time; did you know how long she was working each day?”

Jihoon felt his heart prick with guilt. He had not checked up on his mother ever since he had gone back to school for the new semester. Jihoon had assumed she was doing better from the looks of her going to cooking class and looking happier during his vacation.

Jihoon was a terrible son. His mother was working almost sixteen hours a day, yet he was having fun alone in college. Brushing the hair away from his mother’s pale face, he suddenly noticed how much weight she had lost.

You have fifty missed calls and eighty new messages from “Daniel”.

Turning off his phone so that it would stop buzzing in his pocket, Jihoon laid his head down beside his mother. Tears were falling down his cheeks now, Jihoon should have checked up on his mother now and then. It was his fault that she was lying down in the hospital right now.

-

Jihoon woke up when he felt his mother stirring.

“Jihoon? Is that you?” his mother called out in a weak voice. Grabbing her hands, he nodded.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jihoon blurted. “I should never have left you alone at home.”

“Don’t say that, baby,” his mother said as she caressed his face. “I’m okay now, right?”

Jihoon nodded as he attempted to dry up his tears with his shirt sleeve. He had brought nothing with him except his phone and wallet from school. He had left all his books and clothes back in school.

He wouldn’t be needing them anymore, anyway. Jihoon was never meant to be in that college, he should have known that his family situation made it impossible to stay so far away from his mother, yet he had insisted on chasing his dreams. He had ignored the warning signs back then, and this was his punishment.

“Hey mom?” Jihoon said after he had calmed down. She hummed in response.

“I… have to tell you something. Guanlin and I… we broke up,” he confessed. He knew how much his mother adored Guanlin like he was her own son, and it would hurt her as much as it hurt him that he was no longer apart of the family. He figured it was better to tell her now instead of her finding out in the future.

“I know,” his mother simply replied. 

“You knew?” Jihoon asked.

“He stopped coming over. I thought he was busy, but I saw him with his friends one day at a café down the street, that was when I realised,” she explained.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon said. “I know how much you liked him.”

“Don’t be silly, you. I told you to do whatever makes you happy.”

Wrong. Jihoon had thought the world would work the way he wanted it to if he just followed his dreams. How wrong he had been, how naïve he had been to believe in that. There were many things he had to do before living his dream, he was stupid to ignore them all and chase after his dream blindly without first considering his situation.

Getting into his dream course.

Writing the script for the school film.

Being with Daniel.

They were all things that Jihoon should never have chased after. His greed for following his dreams had caused his own mother to land up in the emergency room.

Jihoon was being stupid to have ever believed he deserved any of those things.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel felt like his whole world was taken away from him when Jihoon had disappeared, leaving only a single text for Daniel to hang onto.

Three days, 100 missed calls and 250 unread messages to Jihoon later, Daniel was starting to think that Jihoon had left him for good. Although Jihoon had said he was safe, Daniel was dying of worry as to where Jihoon had left to. 

Jihoon had told Daniel not to wait for him, but what did that even mean? Was he never coming back to Daniel?

Jihoon’s books and clothes were still in his room, it was like he had never left. Jihoon had disappeared from Daniel’s life as if he was all but a sweet dream. Daniel wanted to leave this place, he felt useless for waiting for Jihoon in school. He wanted to go to Jihoon now, but where was he to even start looking? 

There were two knocks on Daniel’s door, and for a split millisecond, he thought Jihoon had finally come back to him. 

“Niel? It’s Jisung hyung, with Seongwoo. I’m coming in, okay?” 

Daniel’s door opened, letting a streak of light from the hallway into the dark room. 

“I brought you some food. You should eat something,” Daniel heard Jisung say.

“I don’t want to eat,” Daniel croaked, his voice hoarse from crying nonstop the past few days. 

Daniel felt Jisung put a hand on his shoulder, and instinctively pulled away.

“Leave me alone,” Daniel sniffed.

Jisung bit his lower lip and sat next to Daniel on his bed. It reminded Daniel of how Jihoon used to lie down on his bed and cover his eyes when Daniel walked out of the bathroom with only a towel around his legs.

Seongwoo stood at the door silently, he had barely said a word to Daniel since Jihoon had disappeared.

“Niel, you have to eat if you want to see Jihoon come back,” Jisung persuaded. The only things Daniel had eaten the past few days was a few slices of bread, and that was only because Jisung had forced him to.

“Jihoon isn’t coming back,” Daniel whispered, more for himself to hear.

“He will come back,” Jisung insisted. 

Daniel had enough of his friends telling him useless lies that Jihoon would be back. It had been three days, Jihoon had returned none of his calls of his messages. He was not coming back.

“No! Hyung! Stop telling me shit like that because I might actually believe he’s going to come back! He left me, he’s gone, he’s never coming back!” Daniel was shouting at Jisung now. He didn’t mean to, the feelings of anger, sadness, frustration that he had bottled up were finally starting to show themselves.

Seongwoo stepped in to hold Daniel back. “Hey, don’t yell at Jisung hyung just because you’re mad.”

“Fuck off, Seongwoo. You don’t understand anything,” Daniel snapped.

“At least I fucking understand how to control my emotions and not act like a loser. Pull yourself together, we’re all here to help you,” Seongwoo said, and his words stung.

“Don’t start fighting now,” Jisung pulled the two apart. “That’s the last thing I need.”

Daniel slumped back onto his bed. 

“Jihoon’s gone, he’s gone,” Daniel chanted as he felt his tears fall down his face.

Jisung only took Daniel in his embrace and stroked his back. “He will come back, don’t lose yourself like this, Niel. It breaks my heart to see you act like this.”

Kang Daniel was not Kang Daniel without Park Jihoon next to him. He missed having Jihoon around to flirt with shamelessly, he missed having someone to say, “I love you” to, and he missed having someone to hold his hand when he was scared.

Jihoon had left, for whatever reason. And he wasn’t coming back.

“No, hyung. He’s never coming back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the universe hates nielwink being happy - i'm sorry for being so evil.
> 
>  
> 
> this is a little off topic, but some lovely wanna one fans have created a wanna one fanfiction awards.  
> i'm sure i speak for many writers out there when i say we write to keep others happy, but it feels good to get recognized once in awhile.  
> if you've enjoyed my story so far, i would be so grateful if you could nominate me and this story for whichever award you think best fits this story.  
> you can nominate me and other of your favorite writers for the awards at wannaoneffawards.tumblr.com  
> again, thank you for all the love you've shown me and this story. i could never thank you guys enough.
> 
>  
> 
> now back to the update:  
> i'm so sorry for hurting our dear main characters again ;; good things are coming, i promise.  
> tell me what you thought about this update in the comments!  
> take care and see you tomorrow! :)


	21. i'm here, where are you?

**(Daniel)**

His friends come and see him now and then, and leave him alone again when they realise there is nothing they can do to cheer Daniel up. Daniel isn’t just a broken-hearted man, he’s a broken man. Jisung drags him to class every day, but Daniel’s mind is running elsewhere.

Like where Jihoon was, what he was doing right now. And whether he was missing Daniel as much as Daniel was missing him. 

Daniel knows his friends are suffering too. Seongwoo is trying his best to be nicer to Daniel, but Daniel can tell he’s losing the little patience he has left. Daehwi and Jinyoung are avoiding Daniel, and Daniel knows it’s because he reminds them of their best friend that has vanished for a week as much as they remind him of his boyfriend that is somewhere far away from Daniel. Woojin tried his best to just stay by Daniel’s side, but even he was getting tired.

Daniel felt the guiltiest towards Jisung. The smile on Jisung’s face from just a week ago had vanished and was replaced with a perpetual frown filled with worry and concern for Daniel.

“I’m fine,” Daniel had told Jisung when he had insisted Daniel talk about his feelings to him.

“You’re pretending to be,” Jisung replied. And Daniel doesn’t even have the heart to argue.

After rejecting lunch with his friends for the again, Daniel slumped into his bed. If he imagined hard enough, he could almost feel Jihoon’s hands around his waist as he lay down on his bed. 

Daniel’s tears stained his pillow for the nth time since Jihoon had disappeared, and Daniel doesn’t care anymore. He can still smell Jihoon, the familiar scent of peaches still lingering on his sheets.

I’m sorry. I’m safe. Don’t wait for me.

Those were the last things Jihoon had said to him. 

Don’t wait for me.

That was the one that hurt him the most.

Did Jihoon really expect Daniel to carry on with his life and forget about him just like that?

Daniel suddenly remembered the present Jihoon had passed to him on the day of his competitions. Daniel hadn’t opened it yet, the present just stared him in the face every day, like a cruel reminder of the emptiness in his heart.

Daniel held onto that present like his last dash of hope. But it was too late, Daniel was feeling desperate to do something, anything related to Jihoon to not open the present.

He unwrapped the box and threw the wrapping paper away before lifting the lid.

The box was empty, and there was only a note written on a white paper inside. Daniel’s hands trembled and the tears flowed seamlessly down his face as he read the letter.

**If you’re reading this, it means that you’ve passed the second round of your competition! I’m so proud of you. Am I being too biased if I say I knew you would pass from the start?**

**Also…**

**You were tricked! There is no present, I am the present. Haha!**

Even though Daniel is crying, he can’t help but smile at how he can practically hear Jihoon’s cheeky voice oozing out from his note.

**I didn’t know what to get you. I’ll give you all the kisses you want for your present. If I’m beside you while you’re reading this, I’m giving you permission to lean over and kiss me right now.**

There is nothing but Daniel’s empty bed next to him. 

**If I’m not, come and look for me. I’m waiting for you.**

Daniel’s eyes trailed over the last sentence a few times before something in his brain finally clicked.

**Come and look for me. I’m waiting for you.**

He wasn’t going to wait like a fool for Jihoon to come back. Jihoon was somewhere out there, waiting for Daniel to find him and take him in his arms again. Standing up, Daniel decided that he needed to start working now if he wanted to bring Jihoon back to him. 

**(Jihoon)**

The first day of work was always the hardest, Jihoon noted. He had gotten lucky and landed himself a job at a café which was within walking distance of the hospital. The boss of the café was nice, although he was concerned that someone like Jihoon wasn’t at school.

“I’ve graduated,” Jihoon lied. 

Jihoon knew he was being unfair to Daniel and their relationship by ignoring him. He was sure Daniel was beating himself up over Jihoon’s disappearance, and could only hope his friends would provide him the support he needed during this period.

Jihoon was sure Daniel would come looking for him as soon as he told Daniel about his situation. That was Daniel, always eager to play hero for Jihoon in any situation.

Jihoon was tired of thinking he deserved a hero in his life, much less a hero like Daniel. He didn’t want Daniel swooping in to protect Jihoon again and again from the things he had to face in his world.

-

It was terrible for Jihoon every second he was away from Daniel. Whenever a couple walked into the café, it would remind Jihoon of Daniel and he would have to ask his boss for a break and cry alone in the toilet.

“Jihoon? Are you okay?” Jihoon’s friend that worked with him at the café, Hyungseob waved his hand in front of Jihoon and broke his train of thought.

“I’m fine,” Jihoon answered as he refilled the water in the glass flasks behind the counter.

“You were zoning out,” Hyungseob explained. “Is something bothering you?”

Yes. My life has gone to shit. I miss Daehwi and Jinyoung, I miss Jisung hyung yelling at me to come on time for filming. I miss the way Seongwoo hyung jokes with me.

I miss having Daniel around to tell me how much he loves me.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Jihoon explained. There was too much to explain, he didn’t know where to begin. He figured it was easier to keep all these to himself, it was easier for one person to forget than for a friend to try and cheer him up about his miserable life.

-

“Hey mom,” Jihoon greeted with a forced smile on his face when he entered his mother’s hospital room. The only good news he had gotten since he had left was that his mother had been transferred to a normal observation room from the emergency room.

Jihoon had been bringing food to his mother after work every day. He knew how much hospital food sucked, and was trying his best to make up for his past mistakes.

“Hey baby,” his mother greeted. She was still weak, but definitely in a better condition than she was in when she was first brought here.

“Feeling better?” Jihoon asked. He asked the same question every day.

“Of course,” his mother would reply. He would then bring out the food he had bought for his mother that day, and feed her.

“Jihoon,” his mother said one day. “What about school? You can’t be here all the time.”

Jihoon’s heart clenched at the mention of school, but didn’t let it show on his face.

“They understand. I emailed my professor, he says I can do my work from home until you get better again,” the lie rolls off Jihoon’s tongue easily. He had known it would be a good idea to come up with a story before his mother asked him.

His mother nodded, and closed her eyes to get some sleep.

Jihoon couldn’t help but open the messages from Daniel he had gotten over the past week. Daniel had not given up on him yet. The last message he had gotten from Daniel was two hours ago, asking him to reply him.

**To: Daniel**

**I miss you. I want to see you again.**

Jihoon deleted the message and turned off his phone before he could do anything he would come to regret in the future.

**(Daniel)**

It took Jisung five phone calls to get someone to finally hand over Guanlin’s number. Long story short, Jisung knew someone that knew another friend who went to the same school as Guanlin. After three hours of begging people for Guanlin’s number, Daniel’s finger hovered over the number given to him by Jisung’s friend’s friend.

“Go on,” Jisung urged. “He’s the only hope we have left.”

Daniel was grabbing onto any hope there was left to find Jihoon. If Jihoon had gone home, he might have contacted Guanlin. Or Guanlin might have spotted him in town. The possibilities were endless. The dead ends were endless as well.

He would never know if he didn’t try.

Daniel finally pressed on the number and held the phone close to his year. Daniel prayed the hardest he had in his life for someone to pick up.

After five rings, a boy picks up.

“Hello?” the voice croaks, obviously tired from the lack of sleep.

“Am I speaking to Lai Guanlin?” Daniel asked hesitantly, realizing his voice sounded as bad as the boy on the phone.

“Yeah, who is this?”

“It’s Daniel. Jihoon’s... boyfriend.”

Daniel heard Guanlin scramble for something, maybe the light, or his glasses.

“Can I help you?” Guanlin’s voice is suspicious, unsure of what business Jihoon’s current boyfriend had with his ex.

“I’m sorry for calling you like this. The thing is, Jihoon left a week ago,” Daniel replied, explaining slowly so he wouldn’t miss out a single detail.

“And… he hasn’t contacted me since he’s left. I was just wondering if he’s contacted you or if you’ve heard anything about him. Anything would help, please,” Daniel pleaded.

“Jihoon? Oh. Oh! If you’re talking about a week ago, it’s probably when the hospital called me and said his mother had been sent to the hospital. I told them to call him, and that’s all I know,” Guanlin replied, and Daniel’s heart swelled at the new information he had gotten about Jihoon.

“Could you send me the name of the hospital by text? And, thank you,” Daniel answered.

“Sure. Just make sure Jihoon’s okay for me yeah?” Guanlin said and ended the call. A few seconds later, Daniel received the name of the hospital by text. 

Without a second thought, Daniel starts packing. Daniel puts everything he things he needs for a short trip to Jihoon’s hometown.

“Niel, you can’t go now. It’s 2 in the morning,” Jisung stood up and tried to hold Daniel back.

If it was for any other issue, Daniel would have listened to Jisung. But this was Jihoon, and Daniel didn’t have the heart to wait for the sun to rise to start looking for Jihoon.

After a week of grieving and moping around, Daniel is sure this is not what Jihoon would want. 

“Hyung. I have to go now, that’s final,” Daniel said as he finished packing a bag. Something about Daniel’s tone silences Jisung and he doesn’t protest anymore.

“I’m sorry, I have to go now,” Daniel simply said. “Please contact the head office and let them know of Jihoon’s situation and let me know if there’s anything they can do to help.”

Without a second look behind, Daniel swung his bag around his shoulders and left.

 

-

The train ride is painful, Daniel wanted badly for the train to grow wings and fly him to the hospital now, where he was sure Jihoon would be.

Daniel flagged a cab down as soon as he reached the station.

“Gyeongsan public hospital. And hurry please.”

Daniel rushed to the front desk of the hospital as soon as he paid the cab driver. It was 6am in the morning but the hospital was still packed.

“Does Park Jihoon’s mother stay here? In what ward does she stay in?” Daniel fired his questions at the nurse tending the front desk.

She pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, we can’t disclose that to you.”

Daniel wanted to crumble onto the ground and cry in front of all the staff and people. He was so close to finding Jihoon, yet so far.

He fiddled with his phone, then found a picture of that he and Jihoon had taken together weeks back.

“Have you seen this boy around?” Daniel asked.

The nurse squinted before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I haven’t seen him around.”

“Wait! I’ve seen that boy,” another nurse quipped from behind as she walked up to take a better look at the picture Daniel was showing to the nurse.

“Yes, it’s the boy that comes here every day. He just left, I’m assuming for work. He should be somewhere nearby.”

Daniel mumbled a “thank you” before taking off again in the direction of the street. If Jihoon was working, he would have chosen somewhere close to the hospital, where he could easily reach if his mother needed his help.

Jihoon had to be nearby, Daniel could feel it.

“Wait for me, Jihoon. I’m coming.”

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon groaned as he helped Hyungseob lift a box of cabbages out of the fridge and into the kitchen. He didn’t manage to get much sleep in the hospital the previous night, his mother was stirring too much.

Running on a lack of sleep, Jihoon clenched his teeth and helped Hyungseob finish up with moving the boxes. 

“That’s the last of it,” Hyungseob said as he dusted his hands. The sun had rose and the early customers were beginning to line up at the cashier now.

“Take your breakfast. I’ll cover for you,” Hyungseob offered and left Jihoon to eat his breakfast alone in the kitchen. There was a cold hotdog bun on the counter, and Jihoon decided to make do. He wasn’t in the right situation to ask for more, anyway.

Whenever he was alone, Jihoon would let his mind trail to Daniel.

A week and two days into not seeing Daniel, Jihoon felt like he was going to collapse anytime. Not from fatigue, but from missing someone too much.

“Is that even possible?” Jihoon laughed bitterly to himself as he took the first bite of the hotdog. Not too bad, just needed a little warming up.

Jihoon’s heart clenched when he thought of the many tuna sandwiches Daniel had bought for him when he had long days in school. Daniel knew that Jihoon got hungry easily, and sometimes hid sweets in Jihoon’s bag that he would find in the middle of class.

To put it simply, he missed Daniel like hell. 

He could almost hear Daniel shouting, “Park Jihoon!” over the crowd of students and see him waving with that stupid smile plastered on his face.

Jihoon finished up his bun and cleaned his hands on his aprons. He had a long day ahead, always made longer when he missed Daniel.

Jihoon vaguely heard someone shouting from the outside, and cursed at the thought of handling a difficult customer early in the morning.

“Park Jihoon! Let me see Jihoon!”

Great, I’m hearing his voice now too. 

“Sir, you can’t be doing this here,” Jihoon heard Hyungseob say. What was it now? Another customer angry that his coffee wasn’t hot enough? Or was someone upset again about them not serving cakes for breakfast?

“Please, just tell me if Jihoon is in here. I need to know.”

Jihoon shook his head vigorously to get rid of Daniel’s voice in his head. It sounded so real to him. His mind was playing tricks with him now.

“Okay, okay. Sir, just calm down,” Hyungseob said again. 

It was probably a really unreasonable customer if Hyungseob was sounding so annoyed. Jihoon decided not to leave Hyungseob in the lurch and help him out. After all, Hyungseob had been there when a man had flared up at Jihoon before.

Jihoon didn’t know what to expect when dealing with angry customers. It was different every day. On some days, it would be a disgruntled old lady, where Jihoon had to bite down on his tongue and resist from breaking her walking stick. On other days, it would be your typical office worker yelling at them for not doing their job well.

Sighing, Jihoon braced himself for what was to come.

Nothing in the world could have prepared Jihoon for the plight his boyfriend, Kang Daniel, was in when he walked into the scene.

Jihoon saw Daniel first. Daniel was holding Hyungseob’s hands and begging him to tell Jihoon to come out.

Daniel didn’t look the way Jihoon had remembered him to be. Maybe because Daniel was sobbing uncontrollably, or it was because of the amount of weight he had lost. His broad shoulders were now more obvious because of how much his face had shrank in size. Daniel’s eyes were sunken, red and full of desperation when they used to look at Jihoon like he was Daniel’s whole world.

Then, Daniel saw Jihoon.

They stood in silence, taking the other’s presence in before Daniel let go of Hyungseob’s hands and pushed past the cashier area to where Jihoon was observing the situation.

Daniel ran to hug Jihoon, and Jihoon melted into Daniel’s embrace.

“Is that really you? Is that really you, Daniel?” Jihoon’s voice shook as he stood still in Daniel’s familiar warm hug, unable to process what was happening.

Jihoon felt Daniel nod as his face was buried into Jihoon’s neck. Finally, Daniel lifted his head so Jihoon could see him better.

Although he was crying, Daniel managed a smile.

“It’s me. I’m here, I came for you.”

Jihoon was suddenly aware of all the people in the café who were staring at the two who had just been reunited. Hyungseob looked as shocked as Jihoon’s boss, who had come down from his office to see what the commotion was all about.

Daniel, on the other hand, did not see anyone else other than Jihoon.

“I looked everywhere for you. People told me to get lost, I was going to go home if I couldn’t find you here. Fuck, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Daniel was crying again, and Jihoon was afraid he would forget to breathe if he kept crying so hard.

Using his two hands to cup Daniel’s face, Jihoon wiped Daniel’s tears away from his face.

“What happened to your handsome face?” Jihoon was the one crying now. He could see exactly what he had done to Daniel. His cheeks no longer bounced when Jihoon poked them. 

“Don’t cry, baby,” Daniel was flustered to see Jihoon shedding tears, and he only cried harder at the pet name Daniel used for him – only for him.

“I’m not crying,” Jihoon protested, although anyone could clearly see that he was. “I’m just happy you’re here.”

“Please don’t ever leave me like that again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it makes anyone feel better, i cried too.
> 
> i'm sorry for all the angst ;;
> 
> i love u all please don't hate me... 
> 
> let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments and i'll see you tomorrow!! :)
> 
> ps; if you're looking for some nielwink fluff to heal your broken heart, i just uploaded a new one-shot full of nielwink fluff just for all of you nielwink lovers. do check that out too!


	22. so lucky to have you, my love

**(Jihoon)**

After five minutes of trying to get people to stop staring, Jihoon’s boss finally ushered Jihoon and Daniel out of the café and told them to “talk it out without disturbing the business”. Jihoon couldn’t stop crying and Daniel wouldn’t calm down either. To anyone looking upon this scene, they probably looked funny or really embarrassing.

Daniel held Jihoon’s hand tight as Jihoon led him to the back of the café, where no one could see them. Jihoon’s heart was still beating rapidly from the sudden turn of events. Daniel was here, he was real and holding Jihoon’s hand now.

As soon as Jihoon made sure no one was looking at them, he reached out to touch Daniel’s face again.

“How could you lose so much weight?” Jihoon asked. It hurt him to see Daniel suffer so much just because of him.

“Why? Do you not like me because I’m not handsome anymore?” Daniel joked. Trust Daniel to be able to tell Jihoon a joke even in this situation.

“You’re still my handsome boyfriend,” Jihoon assured.

The two stood in silence for a moment, both taking in the fact that they were finally reunited after living like a zombie for the past week. Jihoon wanted to say sorry, for all he had put Daniel through, but the words weren’t forming themselves this time.

“I’m-“ Jihoon began but was immediately cut off by Daniel pressing his lips against Jihoon’s. Jihoon’s eyes grew wide in surprise. Daniel’s kiss was desperate, as if he had been starving for a long time. Jihoon wanted to pull away for fear that Hyungseob or his boss would walk him and he would have a lot of explaining to do. Instead, Jihoon wrapped his arms around Daniel’s waist as he kissed him back.

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I should have come earlier,” Daniel said when he broke their kiss.

Jihoon shook his head. This was Daniel, selfless and always looking out for Jihoon before himself.

“Daniel,” Jihoon took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t go back with you.”

Daniel’s face fell with disappointment, or sadness, Jihoon couldn’t figure it out when the words escape from his lips. Jihoon doesn’t let Daniel get in a word in their conversation.

“My mom, I have to stay here and look after her. It’s not possible for me to go back to school,” Jihoon explained, and his heart clenched when he thought of his other friends waiting back in school for him.

Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“It does,” Jihoon said, and he could tell he was starting to let his frustrations get the better of him.

“No,” Daniel suddenly grabs Jihoon by the shoulders and Jihoon yelped at the sudden aggressive side of Daniel that he hasn’t seen before. Daniel’s touch is forceful, but his eyes are desperate and pleading.

“It was fun,” Jihoon laughed bitterly. “But I think it’s time for me to return to reality.”

Daniel was at a loss for words at Jihoon’s sudden confession.

“Look outside,” Jihoon said, pointing to Hyungseob who was busy taking orders from the many customers. Daniel’s gaze followed Jihoon’s finger and his jaw clenched as he saw Hyungseob shooting them a concerned look.

“This,” Jihoon added. “Is my reality. I lived my dream of getting into my dream course, having actual friends in school. I even lived like a prince because of you. But it’s time for me to stop dreaming.”

Jihoon doesn’t feel the passion burn in his stomach like before. He had lost all hope of going back to the way life was.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t deserve you,” Jihoon apologized and left to join Hyungseob before his boss could cut his pay. 

Daniel didn’t come after him.

**(Daniel)**

Daniel doesn’t go after Jihoon. Something in him clicks, that Jihoon isn’t the same Jihoon from before. The Jihoon now isn’t the passionate Jihoon who would fight to the end of the world just to get what he wanted. This was Jihoon resigning himself to his fate, and who was Daniel to stop him?

They might have dated, but that was all they were. 

Daniel runs his finger through his hair as he kicked a pebble on the street with his foot. The pebbled rolled a few metres in front of him, then disappeared as it fell into a nearby drain.

Maybe Jihoon was right. This wasn’t the life they were meant to live. They weren’t fated to be happy together. 

“Hyung,” Daniel finally answered his phone that had been vibrating in his pocket ever since he had left the café hours ago.

“God! Finally, you picked up, I almost called for a search party,” and it wouldn’t mean much to anyone, but Daniel smiled as Jisung’s familiar tone blared through his phone.

“I went to the head office and told them about Jihoon’s mom’s situation. Good news! They said they’re more than willing to help Jihoon and his family out. They asked me to tell you to tell Jihoon to call them and they’ll discuss more. You were right, the school can help Jihoon out.”

Daniel laughed bitterly as Jisung relayed the good news to him.

“Niel? You’re with Jihoon right?” Jisung finally stopped talking about school when he realised Daniel wasn’t responding.

“Hyung, it’s no use,” Daniel finally said. “Jihoon doesn’t want to come back.”

There is silence on the phone as Jisung tries to take in what Daniel had just told him.

“What are you talking about?” Jisung finally asked.

“He said it was time for him to stop dreaming. He told me to stop trying to bring him back to school. He doesn’t want me anymore,” Daniel sighed.

There is a loud noise as the phone is passed to (or snatched away by) Seongwoo.

“Are you fucking with me right now?” Seongwoo yelled through the phone and Daniel winced at his friend’s loud voice. Jisung must have put Daniel on speaker phone with Seongwoo in the same room.

“Don’t be a bitch and go back there and clear things up with your boyfriend, you useless bag of trash,” Seongwoo continued to yell as Jisung tried to snatch the phone back from him.

All Daniel did was sit and listen numbly to his friend’s yelling.

“Don’t think of coming back if you’re just giving up on Jihoon like that!” Seongwoo yelled one last time before hanging up the phone.

A few minutes later, Daniel’s phone started to ring again.

“It’s Jisung hyung,” Jisung said when Daniel picked up. “Without Seongwoo.”

“Seongwoo’s right. I’m a bag of trash that’s willing to let Jihoon go,” Daniel repeated.

“Seongwoo is right,” Jisung agreed. “Without the colourful vocabulary, though. But Niel, you’re already there. You met Jihoon, how can you not talk things out with him?”

Daniel found another pebble on the ground and kicked it to the side of the street.

“I don’t know. I think we’re not meant for each other.”

Daniel heard Jisung pausing to take a deep breath.

“I’m trying my best not to yell at you right now, but you’re making it really hard,” Jisung admitted.

“Can you live without Jihoon?” Jisung questioned.

No, of course not. Jihoon was his entire world. Without Jihoon in his world, Daniel had nothing to live for.

“If you answered yes, you can come back home right now,” Jisung said and hung up.

Daniel took a deep breath before slipping his phone back into his pocket again. It was easy for Seongwoo and Jisung to lecture him, they had nothing to lose if Jihoon didn’t come back. They didn’t understand how Daniel felt at all.

Wrong.

Although Seongwoo expressed his disgust daily for Daniel’s public display of affection for Jihoon, Seongwoo always smiled whenever Jihoon came over to their room. He liked teasing Jihoon, and Jihoon always received his jokes well. Daniel would vomit if he had to ever admit it to Seongwoo in person, but it felt good to see his best friend smiling and happy because of Jihoon too.

Daniel knew Jisung was naturally a kind and caring person who gave out more loved than he received. But with Jihoon, Jisung was more than just another hyung. He pushed Jihoon hard because he knew that Jihoon had the potential to be an amazing scriptwriter. Ever since Jihoon had left, Jisung didn’t carry the same passion and vigour he had when he tended to the school film.

His friends had everything to lose if Jihoon didn’t come back. Daniel was terribly wrong. Jihoon was more than just Daniel’s boyfriend.

He was Seongwoo’s happy pill. He was Jisung’s little star. He was Daehwi and Jinyoung’s best friend.

If Daniel walked away from Jihoon now, he would be walking away from the people who were waiting and supporting him back home as well.

He had to bring Jihoon home to everyone else.

-

Jihoon was a hard worker, Daniel was already aware because of how well he focused when he was writing. Seeing Jihoon clean up the dirty plates and bending his back to take orders from other people hurt Daniel in ways he couldn’t imagine.

Daniel observed Jihoon from the outside until the sun set. Jihoon helped his friend and boss clean up the store after all the customers had left as well. Jihoon had worked a full shift today, a total of 14 hours.

Jihoon was visibly tired when he left the café. When he spotted Daniel waiting for him outside, he turned to walk the other way.

“Jihoon! Wait,” Daniel ran to catch up with Jihoon before he could get lost in the crowd again. 

Daniel managed to grab Jihoon’s arm before he could disappear into the streets. 

You’ve lost a lot of weight too, Daniel thought as he released his grip from Jihoon’s skinny arm.

“I told you that I can’t go back to school,” Jihoon finally answered. “Don’t hang onto me.”

Daniel took a step towards Jihoon and Jihoon took another step back. They continued like that until Daniel had Jihoon backed up against the wall.

“Don’t,” Jihoon said in a voice almost as soft as a whisper.

“Don’t what?” Daniel replied.

Jihoon pursed his lips and his eyes wouldn’t look Daniel in the eye.

“Don’t come close to me. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t hold my hand. Don’t try to touch me.”

“Why?” Daniel tried to reach for Jihoon’s hand and search for the warmth that Jihoon once gave him. Jihoon only looked away and put his hands behind his back.

“Because I’m scared.”

“You’re scared of me?” Daniel’s voice wavered and his heart felt heavy.

“I’m scared that I won’t be able to leave you.”

Of course, how could Park Jihoon ever be afraid Kang Daniel; the one that would hold his hand when he himself was afraid? He was only afraid that he would let his heart lead the way, and he would go back to Kang Daniel all over again.

“You don’t have to leave me,” Daniel finally crumbled and took Jihoon into his embrace. To his surprise, Jihoon didn’t pull away. In fact, he felt Jihoon tiptoeing to bury his head into Daniel’s neck.

When Daniel finally let go of Jihoon, he saw something different about Jihoon’s eyes.

They were glistening with the fiery passion that Jihoon had from before.

“We are going to work this out,” Daniel said, and Jihoon nodded before giving him another hug.

-

Jihoon was unsure if Daniel was ready to meet his mother, but Daniel had assured Jihoon that he wanted to meet her to explain everything.

Jihoon led him down many hallways with white walls on both sides. Finally, they stopped in front of a shared wared. 

“Ready?” Jihoon asked before opening the door to the ward.

Daniel gave Jihoon’s hand an assuring squeeze. “Always.”

Daniel recognised Jihoon’s mother almost immediately. Part of him knew it was because he had seen her in Jihoon’s photos, but she wore the same resilient look on her face as her son even though her body looked weak.

“Jihoon,” Jihoon’s mother smiled as soon as she saw Jihoon. Then, her eyes trailed down to Jihoon and Daniel’s hands, still intertwined. Her eyes searched Daniel’s face, and Daniel knew she was trying to remember if she had met Daniel before.

“Who is this?” Jihoon’s mother finally asked, but there was no menace or disappointment evident in a voice.

“Mom, meet Daniel. We met in school, he’s two years my senior. He’s…” Jihoon trailed off and looked up at Daniel before continuing, “He’s my boyfriend.”

Daniel let go off Jihoon’s hands to bow to Jihoon’s mother.

“My name is Kang Daniel,” he said. “I’m sorry for coming to visit you only now.”

Daniel half expected Jihoon’s mother to start shouting at him or to start asking security to drag him out of the hospital.

Instead, she smiled and took Daniel’s hands into hers. Her fingers were rough, probably from the work she used to do. But the exuded the same type of warm as Jihoon’s hands did.

“Thank you for coming,” was all she said.

“You’re very handsome,” Jihoon’s mother finally said when she let go of Daniel’s hands. Daniel felt his face turning red as he scratched the nape of his neck. Jihoon laughed as well, and Daniel couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Jihoon laugh. It was beautiful.

“This is my son’s boyfriend!” Jihoon’s mother pointed to Daniel and said to the other patients who were staring at them.

There was an older lady who smiled when Daniel bowed at her. “You’re really handsome!” she shouted.

“You’re really lucky to have a son-in-law that handsome! He looks like he would take care of you well,” an elderly man next to Jihoon’s mother complimented. Jihoon’s mother didn’t bother to correct the old man and Daniel felt his heart swell when Jihoon’s mother smiled at him again.

-

“Your mom is really nice,” Daniel commented when Jihoon’s mother had gone to sleep and he insisted that Jihoon go down to the hospital’s canteen to eat his dinner.

“She’s never done that before,” Jihoon admitted. “Showing off to other people.”

Daniel doesn’t have to press Jihoon for more information to know that he was referring to when he and Guanlin were still together.

“Looks like you’re going to have to marry me no matter what now, I guess,” Daniel shrugged as Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“Are you seriously proposing to me now, Kang Daniel?” Jihoon snorted. “If yes, that’s a really bad proposal, and I’m rejecting you. Come back when you think of a better one.”

Daniel didn’t bother to correct Jihoon, he was just glad Jihoon was back to his cheeky self.

“Damn, I even had the rings prepared,” Daniel jokingly cursed, sending Jihoon into another fit of laughter. A few hours ago, Daniel would have never guessed he would be making jokes with Jihoon. He made a mental note to treat Seongwoo and Jisung extra well when he got back to school.

Jihoon poked at his food before finally saying, “Thank you for coming after me.”

“I would have sailed across the world for you,” Daniel replied, and he meant it.

“Don’t lie,” Jihoon smirked. “I’m a good boyfriend and I remember when you told me you don’t know how to swim.”

“Right,” Daniel recalled, silently celebrating that Jihoon did remember something about him. “ I’ll take swimming lessons, then I’ll sail across the world to find you.”

Jihoon nodded, acknowledging Daniel’s words.

“Let’s go back soon, okay?” Daniel said. “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

Jihoon bit his lip and Daniel knew he was thinking about his mother. Daniel had already told Jihoon and his mother about how the school was willing to help them with the hospital bills, and Jihoon had made a call to the school earlier on, which explained why he was in a better mood than before.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jihoon nodded. 

“You had the privilege of seeing me first.”

“Duh. It’s called boyfriend privileges.” 

**(Jihoon)**

Three days after Daniel made his surprise appearance in front of Jihoon, his mother got discharged and looked as healthy as ever. 

During Jihoon’s last three days at his short-lived part time job, Daniel had been taking care of his mother at the hospital and even brought her food while Jihoon was busy at work. Jihoon had a lot of explaining to do to his boss. Fortunately, his boss was kind enough to understand Jihoon’s reason for lying.

Daniel was right, if Jihoon didn’t marry him when they grew up, his mother would probably disown him as a son. In fact, Jihoon was pretty much expected to marry Kang Daniel now.

Not that he minded, anyway.

“What are you thinking about?” Daniel asked as they were on the train back to school. Jihoon was cuddled up next to Daniel, and Daniel was (obviously) playing with his hair and giving him forehead kisses every now and then.

“Thinking about how much I love you,” Jihoon replied, and he didn’t feel even a little bit embarrassed at his cheesy reply.

“What a coincidence, I was thinking the same thing,” Daniel muses. 

A week ago, Jihoon would never have thought that Daniel would care enough for him to take a three-hour train ride down for him, meet Jihoon’s mother, take care of her, and bring him back to school. 

“I’m so lucky to have met you,” Jihoon thought as he intertwined his fingers with Daniel’s.

And lucky he was. Daniel had arranged for them to take a train back to Jihoon’s hometown once every two weeks where they would stay at Jihoon’s for one weekend. It was the best they could work out if Jihoon wanted to attend school and take care of his mother at the same time.

“You know, you were a bit of a brat when I first met you,” Daniel suddenly said. Jihoon is instantly reminded of his first day of college, when he had snapped at Daniel.

“And if I recall correctly, I’ve apologised like a million times for being rude back then,” Jihoon whined.

“I know,” Daniel replied. “I just like remembering the time I first saw you.”

-

Jihoon spotted Daehwi and Jinyoung even though he was far from the entrance of the school gates. He recognised his best friends by their tiny heads even from afar. There was a lanky boy standing behind them with crossed arms, and Jihoon knew it was Seongwoo.

Beside the three, there were two other boys; of which Jihoon figured it was Jisung and Woojin.

When Jihoon neared the gates, he saw Daehwi holding hands with Jinyoung, probably for emotional support. He laughed to himself at his friend’s cute antics. How could he have thought he could live without this?

Daehwi ran ahead and tackled Jihoon into a hug as soon as he caught a glimpse of his best friend, and they would have fallen to the ground if Daniel hadn’t caught them.

“Jihoon! How could you leave like that? Without a word, too!” Daehwi sobbed into Jihoon’s shoulder.

Jinyoung followed close behind and gave Jihoon a hug too. “How could you leave me alone with the devil himself for a week?”

Forgetting about Jihoon, Daehwi glared at Jinyoung, “You were the one who blamed me on not keeping watch of Jihoon at the competition!” Soon, the two were arguing again.

“Park Jihoon!” Jihoon recognised the shrill voice and went to hug Jisung who was waiting for him with open arms.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jihoon mumbled. 

“Don’t say that. I’m happy you’re back,” Jisung said as he wiped a tear from his eye. “However, we have a lot of work to do. A lot.”

Jihoon nodded enthusiastically. How he had missed working his butt of for something he actually liked.

“Seongwoo hyung,” Jihoon greeted Daniel’s best friend with a hug as well.

“Welcome back, my Jihoonie,” Seongwoo returned his hug.

“My Jihoon?” Jihoon heard Daniel chorus from the back.

“Yeah. He’s mine now, because you took too long to bring him back,” Seongwoo snapped as he swung his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder and pinched his cheeks.

“My Seongwoo hyung,” Jihoon decided to go along with Seongwoo’s joke and gave him another hug.

“Whatever, Park Jihoon. Just remember that you’re practically married to me now,” Daniel pinched Jihoon’s other cheek as he helped Jihoon carry his things to his room.

Daniel immediately regretted his words when Jisung started to chase after him, demanding Daniel tell him what nasty things he had done to Jihoon for Jihoon to be married to him at such a young age.

-

“So, my Seongwoo hyung?” Daniel finally said when they were alone in Jihoon’s room that night.

“You’re still thinking about that?” Jihoon replied, putting his laptop away. He was trying to catch up with the amount of work he had missed in class the past week. Also, he had to make it up to Donghan for the assignment they were supposed to work on together.

Daniel covered himself with Jihoon’s blanket. “How can I not? It’s handsome, arrogant, ignorant, but overall popular and perfect Ong Seongwoo we’re talking about!”

“He is really handsome, though,” Jihoon teased. 

“I’m going to kill him!” Daniel announced as he kicked the covers off the bed. Jihoon managed to pull Daniel back into bed with him.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon tried to soothe Daniel’s anger. “My Daniel hyung.”

Jihoon knew Daniel was a terrible actor, but he couldn’t keep a straight face for even a few seconds. Daniel’s face broke into a wide grin immediately.

Suddenly, Daniel sat up and pinned Jihoon down onto the bed.

“Say it again, baby,” Daniel teased.

“I told you not to call me that,” Jihoon said as he struggled under Daniel’s strong grip. Despite all the weight he had lost the past week, Daniel was still stronger than him. 

“You said not in public, but we’re alone now,” Daniel reasoned.

“Don’t be smart with me,” Jihoon chided. “And stop fooling around, I have my work to do.”

“Only if you call me ‘baby’ too,” Daniel was not letting Jihoon get his way this time.

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Hell no.”

“We can stay like this, then,” Daniel said, obviously disappointed that Jihoon wasn’t giving in to him either.

Jihoon would have to move out of the country if the word ‘baby’ ever escaped his mouth. He would never, ever, repeat that word to anyone, especially Kang Daniel.

Then again, Kang Daniel did travel three hours and searched through his entire town just to bring Jihoon back to him.

And he had a week’s worth of work to catch up on.

“Baby, would you mind getting off me?” Jihoon said with the sweetest smile he could managed.

Daniel grinned at his small victory. “Gladly.”

“I hate you,” Jihoon said when Daniel finally took his hands off his arms and let Jihoon sit up again.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are back to normal again! yay!
> 
> thank u for all the love, this story is finally reaching it's end - i haven't decided how many chapters are left but i can finally see closure for nielwink now so i just want to thank u guys for making it this far in the story!
> 
> i'll still be updating tomorrow! see you then :)
> 
> let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments~


	23. third time's the charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~
> 
> unfortunately, this is the third last chapter of this story, which means we only have two more chapters to go after this one :(
> 
> tysm for all the love you've shown me and this story, i hope i don't disappoint you with the remaining chapters!
> 
> enjoy!

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon couldn’t help but let his gaze shift towards his boyfriend, who was standing outside one of the classrooms. Daniel was holding two cups of coffee in his hands and waved to Jihoon when he saw Jihoon looking at him.

Jihoon was on set for the filming of the school film. He was supposed to be supervising the actors and actresses on the scene, but Daniel was too distracting.

Daniel was beautiful, in ways Jihoon could never describe with words. The thing with beautiful people was that anyone could see how beautiful they looked on the outside. Daniel’s beauty was something a little different for the norm. It was the type of beauty he exuded from the inside that made him look even more breath-taking from the outside. 

“Cut! Let’s take a lunch break! Be back here in an hour,” Jisung called out, bringing Jihoon’s focus back to the scene the actors were acting out. Much to his embarrassment, he had been unable to concentrate ever since Daniel had arrived to watch him.

Daniel gave Jihoon a kiss on his cheeks as soon as Jihoon left the set to look for him.

“Hello,” Daniel greeted Jihoon.

“Why are you here? Don’t you have dance practice?” Jihoon asked, gladly accepting the coffee Daniel had bought for him.

“Can’t I ask my busy boyfriend out for lunch whenever I want to?” Daniel smiled as he played with Jihoon’s hair. 

“Of course you can,” Jihoon replied, letting his hand reach for Daniel’s.

Jihoon looked back, trying to spot Jisung in the crowd of students, but even he had mysteriously disappeared. Not that Jihoon minded, anyway. Any excuse to spend more time with Daniel.

“How are things for the film?” Daniel asked when they finally got their food.

Filming was supposed to end this week, and then it would take another two weeks to edit and perfect it before the premiere. Jihoon was feeling increasingly nervous as the premiere date arrived, and he was constantly nervous about whether it would turn out well.

“It’s stressful,” Jihoon admitted. He didn’t want to hide anything from Daniel, they had decided to let each other know whenever they were having a hard time. It was something Daniel had wanted them to do, because he knew how well Jihoon bottled up his feelings.

“And I know you’ll do great,” Daniel assured.

Jihoon didn’t know how he could ever miss out on a boy like Daniel. Given his striking good looks and cheerful personality, Jihoon would have thought boys and girls alike would be queuing up to have a go at Daniel. Yet, Daniel was here, sitting in front of him.

“What are you thinking about?” Daniel asked after they were silent for a minute or two.

“Nothing really,” Jihoon mused as he took another sip of his coffee. But Daniel didn’t hear him, because he was busy glaring at something behind Jihoon. Jihoon turned behind to look, but there was no one except a few girls sitting and chatting at another table.

“What?” Jihoon asked, not sure what Daniel was so fixated on.

“Nothing,” Daniel didn’t take his eyes off from whatever he was looking at. “Just some guy looking at you funny. He’s gone now though.”

Jihoon almost choked on his coffee at the mention of another boy.

“Aw, you’re jealous,” Jihoon teased as he reached over to pinch Daniel’s cheeks. (Daniel was finally on the receiving end.)

Daniel glared at Jihoon, “I’m just making sure no one steals you away before our wedding.”

Yes, Daniel was still on about how Jihoon and he were expected by everyone to get married after they graduated from college. It seemed like a crazy idea to Jihoon, but as the days passed, the more he was unable to see a future without Kang Daniel in it.

“What about you? How’s dance practice going for you?” Jihoon asked. He knew the finals of the dance competition was in a week, which explained why Daniel was always busy practicing at night.

“Seongwoo is killing me with the choreography this time, but I think you’ll like it,” Daniel winked at Jihoon, which still made him blush till this day. It was ridiculous, Jihoon would have thought the butterflies in his stomach would naturally fade away after being with Daniel for a few months, but they would make their appearance whenever he was within a few metres of Jihoon.

“Right…” Jihoon answered suspiciously. “Whatever that means.”

They continued with their banter for a while more before Jihoon had to rush back to the filming site before Jisung could come and drag him by the ear. This was always the hardest part to Jihoon – parting with Daniel, even if it was only for a few hours.

Daniel gave Jihoon a forehead kiss before leaving, “Work well, my baby.”

“Okay,” Jihoon said as he let Daniel pull him into another hug. “Don’t let other boys look at you on the way back to practice.”

Daniel laughed, and Jihoon’s cheeks flushed. He had such a beautiful laugh. “Okay. I love you, bye.”

Jihoon waited for Daniel to leave before he left to the filming site again. To his relief, Jisung wasn’t there yet.

Jisung did arrive five minutes later though, his hair in a mess and his breath heavy; probably from running here.

“Did you have fun with Niel during lunch?” Jisung asked as they waited for the actors to change and get ready for the next scene. Jihoon gulped, he still got shy whenever his friends talked about him and Daniel so openly.

Jihoon nodded, and Jisung ruffled his hair.

“Just keep it down when you’re in the room together, okay? Our dorms have thin walls,” Jisung joked.

Jihoon knew he had a death wish when he replied Jisung with, “Hyung, I think you’re the one that should be careful.”

“Hm?” Jisung replied, not paying attention to Jihoon anymore as he was arranging the script on his table.

“Hyung, your hair is in a mess. And your lips are swollen… did you even eat during lunch break? Or were you too busy eating some boy’s lips?” Jihoon teased. It was funny to see Jisung get flustered, then try to style his hair neatly, then take out a mirror and check himself out to see if his lips were as swollen as Jihoon said they were.

Jisung then looked around warily to make sure no one was listening in to their conversation before leaning in to Jihoon, “Don’t tell Daniel or Seongwoo, they’ll go crazy if they find out.”

Jihoon was relieved to know that Jisung wasn’t going for his head, and nodded, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But hyung, can’t you tell me who it is?”

“No,” Jisung whispered before clapping his hands and addressing everyone in the classroom. “Alright everyone, let’s get back to work!”

**(Daniel)**

“Where’s Jihoon?” Seongwoo asked Daniel that night after they had finished practice. Jisung was missing again, and Woojin said he had other projects to complete, and left the two to walk back to their room together.

Daniel checked his phone for the time. It was pretty late.

“I don’t know,” Daniel replied. “He’s probably at the library finishing up his assignment.”

Daniel then narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his best friend, “Why? Are you thinking of flirting with him in my face again?”

“I can’t help that your boyfriend plays along with my jokes,” Seongwoo said, dead-panned. “I must be too handsome to resist.”

And as much as Daniel wants to punch his best friend for being ever so full of himself, he resists the temptation.

“Thank you,” Daniel mumbled.

“What for?” Seongwoo looked up from his phone and stared at Daniel like he had just said something ridiculous.

“I said thank you, shithead. For being that friend that doesn’t sugar coat his words and for being there to kick my ass when I’m acting like a loser,” Daniel said as he kicked a pebble into the nearby drain. Daniel had never planned to say this to Seongwoo in his entire life – but Seongwoo was part of the reason Daniel ever got with Jihoon, and he had never thanked Seongwoo for that.

Seongwoo didn’t reply Daniel for a moment, he was probably too shocked to even say anything. Seongwoo cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well… you’re welcome, I guess. I’m happy for you too, you seem happier these few days.”

“I am,” Daniel doesn’t hesitate to answer. “I really hope you’ll be one day too.”

This is when Seongwoo turned to look at Daniel, and Daniel was afraid he had overstepped his boundaries again where Seongwoo’s love life was concerned.

“Okay, Daniel. Enough of that sappy shit, I’m going to puke if we continue,” Seongwoo said as he fished out the keys for their door.

Daniel himself was starting to get a little nauseous from the lack of insults Seongwoo had thrown his way the past few minutes. “Excuse me? I should be the one puking.”

Seongwoo rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I’m calling shotgun on the bathroom.”

“You can’t ‘call shotgun’ on the bathroom, stupid,” Daniel retorted. 

“You have no right to insult my intellectual level. Leave me alone and go suck face with your boyfriend,” Seongwoo snapped, but Daniel could see a small grin form on his best friend’s face.

-

In the end, Daniel did take Seongwoo’s advice. Not to suck face – but to go and look for Jihoon. Daniel waited fifteen minutes outside the library before he saw Jihoon walking out, arms full of books and files.

“Why are you here?” Jihoon immediately brightened up when he saw Daniel waiting for him, even though Daniel could tell how tired he was.

“It’s dangerous to be out here alone,” Daniel explained, taking the books and files from Jihoon’s hand. This time, Jihoon let him.

They held hands and walked through the campus in silence before Jihoon blurted, “I love you.”

Daniel couldn’t help but smile at Jihoon’s sudden confession.

“I know, and I love you too,” Daniel replied, now used to saying those three words to the boy he so loved.

Jihoon shook his head, “No, like. I think I really love you. I don’t think I can live without you by my side. I don’t think I just love you anymore. I love, love you Kang Daniel.”

Daniel’s heart raced as Jihoon said those words to him. He loved how Jihoon was so good with words, they just made so much sense to Daniel. He knew exactly what Jihoon meant, and he felt the exact same way.

“And I love love love you, Park Jihoon.”

-

Daniel was about to bite his fingernails off when the staff of the competition announced that there was only half an hour to go before the finals started. Although Seongwoo and Woojin weren’t pacing around the room like he was, Daniel knew the nerves were finally getting to his friends too.

“Stop walking back and forth, you’re making me dizzy,” Woojin complained.

“Sorry,” Daniel said. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why are you nervous, you’re going to do well,” a familiar voice filled the room. Daniel turned around to face Jihoon, who had arrived with Daehwi and Jinyoung. Daniel was so nervous that he didn’t even hear his boyfriend entering the room.

“We got flowers this time!” Daehwi announced proudly as he handed out two stalks of flowers to Seongwoo and Woojin.

“What about me?” Daniel sulked, upset that Daehwi didn’t give him a flower.

“Your flower is here,” Jihoon said as he cupped his face with his own hands. Daehwi and Jinyoung groaned and Seongwoo covered their eyes when Daniel leaned in to kiss Jihoon on his lips.

“There are kids in this room!” Seongwoo yelled indignantly. 

Daniel didn’t have the heart to tell his best friend that Jihoon was the same age as Daehwi and Jinyoung, his friend was probably too dumb to understand that anyway.

“My favourite flower,” Daniel said as he buried his eyes into Jihoon’s neck, ignoring Seongwoo’s cries for help. 

Daniel felt Jihoon hand searching for his and his heart is warmed when Jihoon gives his hand a squeeze. 

“Don’t be nervous. You’re already first place in my heart,” Jihoon said, and Daniel would’ve kissed him in front of all their friends if he wasn’t feeling nervous about his competition.

“No,” Daniel protested. “I should be the only one in your heart.”

“Not even with Seongwoo hyung?” Jihoon teased and Seongwoo turned to face the couple when he heard his name mentioned in their conversation. His confused expression soon turned to fear when Daniel’s death glare landed on him.

“Don’t come near me,” Seongwoo warned, and quickly used Daehwi as a human shield. “I know kungfu!” 

Jihoon laughed as he held Daniel back before he could rip Seongwoo’s head off.

“Can all the teams gather backstage now?” the staff called into their waiting room and Daniel quickly rushed to put on his jacket. 

Daniel was ready to rush out the door when Jihoon grabbed his hand.

“Are you really not going to kiss me before you leave?” Jihoon asked, blinking innocently at Daniel (and it drives him crazy and makes his knees weak and his heart beat so fast).

“Sorry baby,” Daniel smiled when Jihoon didn’t react to his pet name anymore. “I was nervous.”

Daniel didn’t wait for Jihoon’s response for their lips to collide and Daniel to cup Jihoon’s face in his hands. Jihoon’s skin is so, so soft, and Daniel wants to hold Jihoon in his arms forever. Their kiss was cut short when Jihoon pulled away.

“Let’s continue after you win that prize,” Jihoon grinned his cheeky grin and disappeared out the door.

Daniel doesn’t need a trophy to feel like he’s already a winner.

**(Jihoon)**

Jihoon was at the arena for the third time that year, and the nerves had not faded. In fact, Jihoon noticed that he was feeling even more nervous than before. 

Jihoon forgot his shock for a moment when Jisung took a seat beside Jihoon.

“Oh hyung! You’re here?” Jihoon asked, surprised to see Jisung at the audience area for once.

Jisung only smiled, “Where else could I be?”

And then another familiar face took a seat next to Jisung.

“M-Minhyun hyung?” Jihoon stuttered, not expecting to see (the one and only) Hwang Minhyun hyung at Daniel’s dance competition. It was embarrassing to admit, but Jihoon still felt like he was looking at a celebrity whenever Minhyun was around. He still secretly fanboyed about Minhyun in his room, when he was alone or when he was with Daniel.

“Hey, Jihoon,” Minhyun greeted. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just here to support my friends at their finals.”

Jihoon refrained from asking too many questions, and fortunately the mc had started introducing the four groups that would be performing that day. Jihoon cheered his loudest for his friends along with Daehwi and Jinyoung.

Daniel would be performing the last, and Jihoon continued to show support to the other teams by clapping for them whenever they finished performing.

Then his three friends took the stage, but Jihoon could only see Daniel. And he was sure Daniel was looking at him too. When the music for their stage started to play, Jihoon was surprised to hear a piano.

Jihoon had never seen Daniel performing modern dance in his life. In fact, he was probably a terrible boyfriend because he wasn’t even aware that Daniel did other types of dances other than b-boying and hip hop too. This time, Daniel’s moves were more smooth than powerful, and Jihoon thought he looked absolutely breath-taking.

The best part about the performance was that Daniel kept his eyes locked onto Jihoon’s the entire time. It was as if Daniel was dancing for him, and the only person he could see was Jihoon.

Jihoon was still at a loss for words when the music stopped, signalling the end of the performance. He then followed his friends in clapping and cheering loudly. 

He was so, so proud of Daniel.

“They’re going to win this,” Daehwi assured Jihoon, who was nervously tapping his foot on the ground. Sure, Daniel’s performance was the most beautiful to Jihoon, but how could he be sure he wasn’t just being biased?

-

“And finally, the winners of the finals of the annual college dance competition are…” the mc continued to drag out the results and Jihoon thought his heart was going to burst from the nerves.

“Wanna Be College! Congratulations!”

The crowd erupted in a roaring cheer as Daniel, Seongwoo and Woojin jumped in joy and started to hug each other. Jihoon was too shocked to even move from his seat, and only stood up to cheer when Daehwi pulled his arm up.

The cheers didn’t stop even when Seongwoo was making his winning speech for the team. Jihoon was only looking at Daniel, who was smiling brightly back at him.

I love you so much. I’m so proud of you.

Daniel reached for the microphone when Seongwoo had completed his speech. He tapped on the microphone twice, then started to speak.

“Test,” Daniel said, and was shocked when his voice was broadcasted loudly to the entire crowd.

Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh at his silly antics.

“Uh… firstly thank you so much to my team members for doing this with me. And to all my friends who have supported me along the way. And… there’s someone special I really want to thank.”

The crowd surprisingly kept their silence as they waited for Daniel to continue.

“The first time this special someone came, I couldn’t perform. The second time, I performed, but he wasn’t here to celebrate with me. Today, I successfully performed for him.”

Jihoon felt the happy tears sting his eyes and he struggled to held them back.

“Most people would say third time’s the charm,” Daniel said. He was looking at Jihoon now, as if he was speaking to him only.

“But I want to spend all of my other times with you as well.”

The crowd erupted again in cheers as Daniel finished up and passed the mic to Woojin. Jihoon tried his best to discreetly wipe his tears away from his cheeks.

I love you, Kang Daniel.

Suddenly, Daehwi pointed at Jihoon and started to laugh.

“What?” Jihoon asked, afraid that his friend was about to make fun of him for crying.

“Nothing. It’s just that Jisung and Minhyun hyung are acting like a married couple,” Daehwi explained, and Jihoon realised that Daehwi wasn’t pointing at him, but at the people behind him.

“Hold this for me, Minhyun,” Jihoon heard Jisung say.

“That-that’s your hand, h-hyung” Minhyun said, stumbling over his words. Jihoon never knew his idol had this silly side to him as well.

“Oh my god. Somebody save me. My boyfriend is so fucking dense,” Jisung complained.

**(Daniel)**

“This is nice,” Daniel said to no one in particular as he played with Jihoon’s soft hair.

The two were cuddled up under the covers in Daniel’s bed, watching a movie that Jihoon had wanted to see from weeks before. The rest of their friends had gone out for dinner to celebrate the team’s win at the final.

“What’s nice?” Jihoon asked, still concentrating on the movie. If Daniel had to be perfectly honest, he had not paid even one second of attention to the movie ever since it had started. He was too busy looking at Jihoon.

Jihoon’s long and pretty eyelashes. Jihoon’s pretty eyes. Jihoon’s pretty lips.

“This,” Daniel explained as he moved closer to Jihoon. “Just being here with you is nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” Jihoon agreed, still concentrating on the movie.

Everything about Jihoon was beautiful. Every word that escaped that pretty mouth of Jihoon’s only made Daniel fall harder for him. Every time Daniel was holding Jihoon in his arms, he had to pinch his arm to make sure he wasn’t in some sort of sick dream.

If this were a dream, Daniel would never want to wake up.

“I think the girl is going to reject the guy, how could she be so stupid to not see how much he loves her?” Jihoon whined as he pulled the blanket over his eyes.

“It happens to the best of us,” Daniel explained and Jihoon shot him a dirty look.

“You’re not making me feel any better!” Jihoon complained.

The girl did in fact, reject the guy. In the most cliché way Daniel could have predicted.

“Wait, are you crying?” Daniel noticed that Jihoon was still hiding under the covers.

“Am not,” Jihoon argued, but Daniel could hear Jihoon sobbing quietly under his blanket.

“You’re so cute,” Daniel gushed when he removed the blanket. “Don’t cry, it’s just a show.”

“Well, it’s a really stupid show,” Jihoon said.

Daniel pushed the laptop away and wiped Jihoon’s tears away gently with his fingers.

“Let’s do something else, then.”

It took Daniel three minutes to stop Jihoon from crying over the show. Finally, he lifted his head to look at Daniel, “Like what?”

Daniel seriously considered all his options before suggesting, “You said we could continue with ‘that’ after I win the first-place prize.”

It took Jihoon a while before he remembered what Daniel was talking about. He wore a disgusted look on his face.

“Sometimes I wonder why I’m in love with a horny teenager stuck in a twenty-two year old man's body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i,, love nielwink so much i'm happy when they're happy!
> 
> see you all in tomorrow's update :~)
> 
> ps; i've started on my new nielwink chaptered fic called 'nothing about you is real' and it's a highschool au! do check it out if you're interested in me spreading more nielwink love hehe


	24. it's showtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're down to the second last chapter
> 
> i can't believe it ;-;

**(Daniel)**

Daniel was (surprisingly) studying in his room when he heard a knock on his room door. Seongwoo was out for his extra lessons, so Daniel knew it had to be Jihoon. Without even seeing Jihoon, Daniel was already smiling as he got up from his seat to unlock his door.

“Hey, baby- Are you crying? What’s wrong?” Daniel’s smile instantly vanished when he was greeted by Jihoon, whose eyes were red and lips trembling.

Something was wrong.

Daniel quickly took Jihoon into his arms and closed the door behind him. His mind was in a turmoil. What was he to do when his boyfriend suddenly came crying to him?

“Tell me what happened,” Daniel insisted after letting Jihoon calm down. It broke his heart to see someone he wanted to protect cry so miserably. “Who made you cry?”

Jihoon shook his head in disagreement, and finally managed to say, “I’m stressed,” between his sobs.

Daniel blinked twice, not understanding what Jihoon was getting at. Then, he remembered. The premiere of the school film was in two days, Jihoon was probably feeling the extreme stress and anxiety from his works being showed to such an important audience for the first time.

Daniel gingerly wiped the tears of Jihoon’s face with his slender fingers. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.”

Daniel wasn’t sure what to do next, so he just let Jihoon cry in his arms while he pat his back. Being there for Jihoon was the only thing he could do now, and he didn’t feel too good about that. If ‘stress’ and ‘anxiety’ were physical objects, Daniel would have fought them off for Jihoon long ago.

When Jihoon finally stopped crying, he said, “Thank you. I feel better after letting it all out.”

Daniel couldn’t help but smile at how cute Jihoon was. Fixing the hair that had stuck onto Jihoon’s face because of his tears, he said, “I’m glad. Now, let’s take a few deep breaths. In, out, in, out.”

Jihoon followed Daniel as he demonstrated some breathing techniques he had come across on the internet before. Thank God for the internet, Daniel thought.

“I already know you’re going to do really well. Don’t worry too much about it and sleep well, okay?” Daniel assured Jihoon.

“Okay,” Jihoon finally replied. “I’m just scared. What if I screw up? Jisung hyung is going to hate me for ruining everything.”

How could you ever think that you would ruin anything? You make this world better, my world, at least.

“Jisung hyung is not going to hate you,” Daniel insisted. “Jihoon, you can’t be so hard on yourself. I believe you can do it, and so does Jisung hyung and so many other people out there.”

Jihoon sat in silence, and Daniel was afraid that Jihoon was going to fall into another hole of self-hate right before the premiere. This was not how it was meant to be, Jihoon was supposed to be happy about this amazing opportunity. 

“I love you, I really do. Do you believe me?” Daniel titled Jihoon’s chin up so that he could look at Jihoon in the eyes.

You have beautiful eyes, Park Jihoon. How could they ever be used to cry?

“I believe you,” Jihoon answered, and Daniel wasn’t worried anymore.

“Good. So you know I mean it when I say it’s going to be fine. Even if that one small thing doesn’t turn out fine, there are so many other things in your life that are going to be,” Daniel continued, still looking at Jihoon.

Jihoon finally smiled and nodded. “Like you. You’re always going to be here for me, right?”

“Of course,” Daniel assured as he kissed Jihoon lightly on his forehead.

“Then that’s fine,” Jihoon answered and melted into Daniel’s embrace. 

Daniel wanted more than anything for Jihoon to know that he was loved by many people – not just Daniel. He made a mental note to arrange transportation for Jihoon’s mother to come down to watch her son’s premiere. It just didn’t feel right for a mother not to witness her only son’s biggest step forward in life. 

And maybe, Daniel would have to invite a few other people that Jihoon had kept close to his heart as well.

“Did I distract you from studying?” Jihoon suddenly remembered and sat up and looked at the books piled on Daniel’s table. “You were actually studying for once! I guess I’ll get going now.”

“No, stay with me,” Daniel whined, pulling Jihoon back onto the bed with him.

“You have to study well, so you can take care of me in the future,” Jihoon argued. “I want a big house, and a big dog, and you have to do the cooking. Or maybe you could ask Daehwi to come over once a week. You have to drive me around in an expensive car too.”

“Relax, boyfriend,” Daniel laughed as Jihoon recited. “I’ll give you anything you want. Just lie down with me for a while first.”

Jihoon finally relented and lay down beside Daniel.

“I was just kidding,” Jihoon said as Daniel touched his face. “I don’t need much. Just you beside me.”

“Me too,” Daniel agreed. Any future was a good future if Jihoon was included in it. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

**(Jihoon)**

Jisung was a bigger mess than Jihoon was. Jihoon’s previous breakdowns couldn’t even compare to Jisung running around the theatre to make sure that everything was perfect for the premiere. To be fair, Jisung was in charge of making sure all the VIPs were being taken care of and making sure the catered food they had ordered for the interaction session after the premiere ended were displayed beautifully as well.

Jihoon was starting to feel the nerves get to him as the hour hand moved close to the number six on the big clock on the wall. Some of the guests started to take their places in the hall at around 5pm, and Jihoon rushed to greet some of them.

“Jihoon!” Jihoon recognised a familiar voice calling out to him. It was Daehwi, entering the venue together with Jinyoung, Seongwoo and Woojin.

Daehwi gave him a big hug as soon as they met. “Finally, the day has arrived.”

Jihoon suddenly recalled how fast time had passed. He remembered the first time he had told Daehwi and Jinyoung that he was taking on the role as the scriptwriter. He also remembered how he fought with his best friends for the first time because of this.

“I’m so proud to call you my friend, Park Jihoon,” Jinyoung said as he gave Jihoon a hug after Daehwi finally let him go.

“Congrats, my Jihoonie,” Seongwoo said, his signature grin plastered on his face.

“Yeah! Congrats, Jihoon! I can’t wait to watch your film,” Woojin added.

“Thank you all so, so much for coming today,” Jihoon gushed. The four friends in front of him had given him nothing but their pure support and love. Jihoon still wasn’t sure what he had done in his past life to deserve such amazing friends.

“We’ll take our seats and let you mingle with other guests,” Seongwoo said as he ushered the younger ones away, then called out, “Daniel told me to tell you he’ll be arriving soon!”

“Let’s take a picture after the film ends!” Daehwi yelled before Seongwoo dragged them away.

Everything was going to be okay, just like Daniel had assured him it would be.

“Thinking of me?” Daniel asked, as if answering Jihoon’s prayers.

“I wasn’t- Oh wow,” Jihoon couldn’t help but let his jaw drop when he saw Daniel. “You actually look really, really, good.”

Jihoon never knew he needed to see his boyfriend in a suit and tie before today. His heart was beating like crazy again, and it wasn’t because of the nerves.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Daniel complimented, and Jihoon could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks once again.

Daniel stopped in his tracks when Jihoon took his hand to show him to his seat. “Wait.”

Daniel was craning his neck to look for someone in the crowd, then smiled when he spotted who he was looking for. “Ah, there she is!”

Jihoon was shorter, and took a while before he saw his mother emerge from the crowd. He immediately let go of Daniel’s hand to give his mother a hug.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it!” Jihoon said. 

Jihoon had asked his mother to attend the premiere of film weeks back, but she had declined, saying that she wouldn’t be able to take a day off work. Jihoon was disappointed, but tried not to be obvious about it. After all, who was he to ask for more when he already had everything?

“Well, a certain someone called me up and convinced me to be here. So, here I am!” Jihoon’s mother said enthusiastically while smiling at Daniel.

Oh, what did Park Jihoon ever do to deserve someone like Kang Daniel?

“I’m really proud of you my baby,” Jihoon’s mother said. “For coming this far. For chasing after your dreams.”

Jihoon started to tear up, “No, thank you for allowing me to chase my dreams.”

It was all thanks to his mother that he was here, in Wanna Be College, studying his dream course. It was all because of her undying love for him.

“I won’t hold you back from greeting your other guests, see you later!” his mother said and gave him a peck on his cheek before going off to find her place.

Daniel was wearing a cheeky grin on his face when Jihoon returned to his side. Kang Daniel was amazing in every single way possible.

“So… are you surprised?” Daniel asked as they walked around the outside of the theatre together. Jisung was still busy with the setting up of food stuff, and narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything when he saw Daniel and Jihoon walking around together.

“Surprised? I could kiss you in front of everyone right now, but it wouldn’t be very professional of me,” Jihoon confessed. 

“I should wear this suit more often. Seongwoo was right for once, he said wearing this would make you thirsty as fuck for me,” Daniel joked as Jihoon choked on his saliva.

“I think you should stop listening to Seongwoo hyung,” Jihoon finally said after fanning himself and pretending like he didn’t just think of Daniel in that way. 

Fortunately, Jisung came up to the two before Daniel could let something inappropriate slip out from his mouth again. 

“Kids, get back in the theatre. I think the show’s going to start in 10,” Jisung chided. “And please, no kissing during the movie.”

Jihoon’s face flushed at Jisung’s serious warning. As if Jihoon was in the mood to kiss Daniel while the film he had personally written was being shown on the big screen. Then again, considering how good Daniel looked in his suit, Jihoon was starting to think otherwise.

“Hyung, don’t talk about us that way,” Daniel whined. Then, he had an evil grin on his face. “By the way, how’s Minhyun hyung?”

Jisung’s death glare shifted to Jihoon and he immediately lifted both his hands in defence. “I didn’t tell Daniel! I swear!”

Daniel was still grinning, but pushed Jihoon behind him, protecting Jihoon from Jisung’s wrath. “I already suspected when Minhyun hyung was skipping classes at the exact same time you were. You pretty much confirmed it yourself when you kissed Minhyun hyung at my dance finals.”

Jisung’s angry red face turned into an embarrassed once quickly, “Well don’t go blabbering about it! Now go in and do whatever young couples these days do before a movie starts.”

-

Unfortunately, Daniel or Jihoon could do none of whatever young coupled did these days before a movie started because their loud and obnoxious friends were seated next to the two in the theatre. Daniel was especially disgusted when Seongwoo had fought Daehwi just to sit next to Jihoon.

“We should switch places,” Daniel growled as he eyeballed his best friend who was smiling innocently at the two.

“Why? Were you planning to do something inappropriate with my Jihoon?” Seongwoo challenged, then turned to Jihoon’s mother who was sitting a few seats away; she had started chatting with Jisung like they were old friends. “Jihoon’s mother! Daniel says he wants to-“

“Shut up, asshole!” Daniel hissed as he reached over to forcefully cover Seongwoo’s mouth with his hand. 

Fortunately, Jihoon’s mother was still caught up with talking to Jisung, and hadn’t heard the loud commotion just a few seats away from her.

“I thought so,” Seongwoo smiled.

Daniel took his hand away and started mumbling something about “you were the one who told me to strike whenever I had the chance” when the lights in the theatre went off and the first scenes of the film started rolling on the big screen.

Two seats down, Jihoon heard Daehwi say, “I’m scared. Jinyoung, hold my hand.”

“We’re here to watch an inspiring film, not a horror movie,” Jinyoung protested.

Jihoon figured Jinyoung must have held Daehwi’s hand anyway, because Seongwoo grumbled, “Why do I have to be stuck between two couples. Fuck, I hate my life.”

-

Jihoon had named the film “Heroes Among Us” a few months back when he had submitted the final draft of the script to Jisung. This wasn’t a love story, and it definitely wasn’t a horror story.

Heroes like Superman and Wonder Woman were often big hits in the movie theatres or comic books, but Jihoon had always believed that heroes did indeed, exist in real life. And it was always easy to miss them – because of how easily people took them for granted. 

The film showcased a small boy as a main character, who was determined to grow up and become a superhero so that he could save people from villains and burning buildings. And as the boy grew up, he started to realise he could be a hero without a red cape around his neck or a weapon in his hand.

The boy realised that he could just be himself, and he would be able to save more people than he had ever imagined he would.

Jihoon’s eyes trailed to Daniel, who was holding his hand but his attention was entirely fixed onto the film. 

Everyday heroes were easy to miss – and so was Kang Daniel. In many ways, Daniel was Jihoon’s hero among the big crowd. He had saved Jihoon countless times. He had made Jihoon feel like he was worth something when Jihoon was sure he meant nothing.

And that was all Kang Daniel had to do to be Park Jihoon’s hero – just be himself.

-

Jihoon couldn’t believe his ears or eyes when the entire audience stood up to clap for the film when as soon as the credits stopped rolling and the lights were turned on again. The standing ovation lasted about a minute – but for Jihoon it was enough to keep him writing for many more centuries.

He felt happy tears well up in his eyes as he turned to face his friends, who were looking at him with proud looks on their faces. Jisung was comforting Jihoon’s mother, who was crying. And Daniel, Daniel was just being there for Jihoon, like he always would be.

-

“That is hands down the best film I have ever seen in my entire life,” Daniel said when the applause finally died down and Jisung started to show the guests out to the hall where there was food prepared.

“You’re just being biased,” Jihoon blushed. “And you’re only twenty-two.”

“I’m not kidding,” Daniel said as he hugged Jihoon tight. “I think I might have just become the boyfriend of a future world-famous scriptwriter.”

And in a softer voice, Daniel whispered, “I told you it was going to be okay.”

“You did,” Jihoon agreed. “Thank you.”

“That’s my boyfriend,” Daniel smiled, and let Jihoon go. “Now go out there and meet all the famous people that want to hire you.”

And Jihoon did manage to leave Daniel’s side for a while to step outside and make small talk with the guests. Jihoon was glad that the guests were not short of compliments for his film, and it meant everything just for someone to come up to him and tell him, “I enjoyed the film.”

“Hey, Jihoon,” someone tapped Jihoon’s shoulder and Jihoon turned around to see a familiar face which he hadn’t seen in months.

“Sejeong!” he greeted his senior enthusiastically. They had met when Jihoon had first presented the script to the theatre club.

“I really enjoyed the film. It came out beautifully, just like I knew it would when I first saw you speak,” Sejeong said, then added, “I should’ve known. You spoke with such passion for your script – there was no way it wouldn’t come out well.”

“You really flatter me too much,” Jihoon laughed as he scratched the nape of his neck.

“I was pretty worried because Jisung is going to graduate this year, that we didn’t have someone with enough potential to take over his role. But I think I can rest my worries now.”

No, way. Jihoon couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. If this was a dream, he would never want to wake up.

“T-thank you,” Jihoon sputtered, not knowing how to respond.

Sejeong gave Jihoon a reassuring pat on his shoulder before walking away to talk to Jisung. 

Wow, Jihoon had to step back and take a deep breath from being too shocked at how a theatre major had just complimented his work.

Out of the corner of Jihoon’s eye, he saw a familiar tall, lanky figure leave the theatre. From his side profile, Jihoon could tell that he wore glasses. Big, round glasses.

The world seemed to stop for Jihoon at that moment, when he realised who the boy who was hurriedly making his exit, obviously not wanting to be seen by anyone, was. Without a second thought, Jihoon followed the boy.

“It can’t be him,” Jihoon thought to himself as he struggled not to lose the boy in the crowd. 

“Guanlin couldn’t have come all the way here.”

“Guanlin- Wait!” Jihoon finally managed to find his voice. But it was too late, Guanlin (if it was Guanlin in the first place) had successfully disappeared into the crowd, leaving as quickly as he came.

“It’s probably not him,” Jihoon said to himself dejectedly as he walked back to where all the guests were, and was surprised to see Daniel standing near the theatre doors.

“Did you catch up with him?” Daniel asked. 

Jihoon didn’t have to ask to know who Daniel was talking about. Jihoon was right, it was Guanlin. Of course, how could Jihoon not have recognised his ex-boyfriend?

Jihoon shook his head and tried to put on a smile as he looked at his current boyfriend in the eyes.

“He left this on his seat – I think you might want to read it,” Daniel said and handed over a small envelope to Jihoon. It had his name written on it. “Park Jihoon” in Guanlin’s recognisable chicken scratches. Guanlin was never good at penmanship.

Jihoon’s hands trembled as he took out the letter from the envelope. He hadn’t realised how scared he still was about facing the reality of their breakup.

There wasn’t a long letter, just two sentences in the same handwriting.

**Spread your wings and show the world who you really are.**   
**And don’t ever let anyone hold you back.**

Jihoon slotted the letter back into the envelope. Before he and Guanlin were lovers, they had been friends. Guanlin had been Jihoon’s only friend. Biting on his lip to stop himself from crying, Jihoon took Daniel’s hand in his.

Thank you, Lai Guanlin. For helping me see the light when I was trapped in my own world of darkness.

“Sure you don’t want to go after him?” Daniel asked. “I won’t mind.”

No, this was how they had meant to end things.

“I’m good,” Jihoon assured. “Do you want to go in and take pictures?”

“Of course. I have to let the internet see how good I look in this suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it is - the closure jihoon needed and deserved :)
> 
> we still have one last chapter before the end, so don't leave me yet!
> 
> see you for the last daily update tomorrow!
> 
> comments and feedback are always welcomed <3


	25. something just like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're finally here.
> 
> the last chapter, or the end, as most of us call it.
> 
> thank you for reading thus far, please enjoy the last addition to this story!

**(Daniel)**

“I can’t believe you’re abandoning your friend to go back home with your boyfriend for new year’s,” Jisung sulked as Daniel was packing his luggage. Daniel and Jihoon had agreed to go back to Jihoon’s hometown to spend new year’s with Jihoon’s mother and Jisung was upset that the couple wasn’t going to be attending his new year’s party.

“Hyung, there’ll be so many people, you won’t even notice we’re not there. Plus, I don’t want Jihoon’s mother to spend such a special day alone,” Daniel argued. 

They had been over this argument a few times since the previous week when Daniel had broken the news to everyone that they wouldn’t be in town to celebrate new year’s this year.

“You’re practically her second son now, huh?” Jisung joked. “I’m actually kind of jealous. Minhyun doesn’t want me to meet his mother because he’s afraid I might ‘yak her ear off’.”

“He’s not wrong,” Daniel muttered under his breath. Over the years, he had gotten used to Jisung’s talkative nature and it was perfectly understandable that Minhyun was worried Jisung would scare his mother off with his never-ending energy.

Daniel was feeling excited to spend the new year not going to a crazy party and getting wasted for once. For the past three years in college, he had seen the worst possible cases of alcohol poisoning happen at year end parties. Snuggling next to Jihoon in his room would be a better way to spend his night. 

“Forget it, we all know he wants to make out with his boyfriend without anyone disturbing him,” Seongwoo as he exited the shower. 

You’re not wrong, Daniel wanted to say but held back. “Spare me the details, please”, Seongwoo had begged him previously.

“So does Jisung hyung,” Daniel retorted. “Don’t treat me like a criminal just because I’m not sucking face in front of you guys.”

Daniel knew a thigh slap from Jisung was coming when he let the words escape his mouth, but he had to somehow defend himself and Jihoon.

“How is Minhyun hyung at kissing, by the way?” Seongwoo asked as he dried with hair. Jisung choked on his saliva, and Daniel had to pet his back to make sure he wouldn’t die.

“What’s it to you?” Jisung sputtered when he finally stopped choking.

Seongwoo shrugged, “I don’t know. I thought there had to be something special about creative writing boys that made both my friends want to date them. Do they… you know… have more creative ideas?”

This time, it was Daniel’s turn to choke on his saliva. Jisung had buried his face in his hands out of embarrassment at Seongwoo’s horrific idea. Daniel was sure his face was starting to turn red and started to pray that no one had overheard their conversation from the outside.

Seongwoo stared at the two like they were the ones who had suggested something ridiculous. 

“Should I get myself someone from the creative writing course at hyung’s party as well?”

That was when Daniel zipped up his luggage and stood up to leave. He was not interested in hearing whatever Seongwoo wanted to discuss with Jisung. 

“I’m leaving now,” Daniel announced. “See you next year.”

“Wait,” Jisung called out. “I’m graduating, aren’t you going to give me a final hug?” 

Right, Daniel had forgotten that Jisung had finally graduated after staying back a year. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he wouldn’t be seeing Jisung in school next year anymore. 

“We’re still going to see each other,” Daniel said, but gave in to Jisung’s hug. Lowering his voice so that Seongwoo wouldn’t hear him, he said, “Hyung. Thank you for being my support for the past three years. I know you’ll do well in the future.”

“Oh, my Niel,” Jisung cried. “I’m going to miss you. Please take care of Jihoon for me, okay?”

Daniel smiled as he let Jisung go. “I will. See you around!”

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye to me, Danny Boy?” Seongwoo snickered and Daniel couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his best friend slash roommate slash someone annoying he would be stuck with for the rest of his life, whether he liked it or not.

“Fuck you,” Daniel said, but he was grinning. “I’ll see you next year. Don’t get into any fights, I won’t be there to carry your sorry ass home.”

Still, Daniel managed to wave goodbye to Seongwoo before closing the door behind him. He could still hear Jisung screaming horrifically at Seongwoo’s pressing questions about ‘creative writing boys’. Sighing, he walked away as quickly as he could to Jihoon’s room.

As much as Daniel would have liked to stay with his friends for the new year (he had to admit that watching them get wasted was hilarious and year end parties had always provided him with material to blackmail them with), he and Jihoon had a train to catch.

**(Jihoon)**

“I mean, I understand not wanting your mother to spend new year’s alone,” Daehwi complained as Jihoon was doing a final check for all his items to bring back home this holiday.

“But I don’t understand why Daniel gets to go home with you and we don’t!” 

“Daehwi,” Jihoon stopped scrutinizing his ‘to-bring’ list for a moment to look up at his sulky friend. “We’ve been over this ten times. My house isn’t big enough for all three of you to fit.”

Daehwi had been non-stop pestering Jihoon about bringing him and Jinyoung home for the holidays ever since Jihoon had told them he would be spending new years at home a week ago. Jinyoung was, as usual, super chill about the situation. Daehwi, unfortunately, was not.

“Besides,” Jihoon added, “You’re going to have Jinyoung here with you. I’ll be back in a week, you won’t even notice that I’m not here.”

“That’s not true!” Daehwi protested. “I’m stuck with Mr ‘I don’t want to have fun I want to stay at home’ for a week.”

“Hey! I know how to have fun too,” Jinyoung finally spoke up to defend himself.

“You can’t even say the words ‘party animal’ without stuttering,” Daehwi muttered under his breath and Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh. A year into college and his friends had not stopped bickering about the strangest things on the planet.

Jihoon sighed as he ticked off the last item on his list. “I’m going to miss you guys. Make sure you stay safe and don’t drink too much.”

“Minhyun hyung is bringing us to the party,” Daehwi assured. “And he doesn’t drink.”

Jihoon couldn’t help but snicker. Jisung was the one organising this year’s new year party (as a celebration for himself finally graduating from ‘hell’) but his boyfriend would not consume one drop of alcohol.

“Alright,” Jihoon said as he checked the time on his phone. “Daniel’s going to be here soon to pick me up.”

Daehwi continued sulking as he sat on Jihoon’s bed. It was funny – how it only took a year for Jihoon to know his friends inside out. Although Daehwi was sulking, Jihoon knew that Daehwi was happy for him. And although Jinyoung was acting chill about Jihoon going home, Jihoon was convinced Jinyoung was ready to sacrifice him to the devil for leaving him alone with Daehwi for a week.

“Group hug!” Jihoon smiled as he held out his hands. 

“Don’t be childish,” Daehwi crossed his arms. Jihoon waited; one, two, three seconds before Daehwi and Jinyoung both jumped into his arms.

“See you next year. We’re still going to be roommates for the next three years, so don’t miss me too much,” Jihoon said.

“Are you sure you’re not going to abandon us for Daniel?” Jinyoung eyeballed Jihoon suspiciously when they separated from the hug.

“Daniel snores,” Jihoon joked. “No, you’re stuck with me as your stressed and always anxious and ready to breakdown roommate forever.”

As if on cue, there was a knock on Jihoon’s door and Daniel poked his head into their room, grinning like an excited child on vacation.

“Ready?” he asked Jihoon.

“No,” Daehwi answered as he hung onto Jihoon’s arm. “Jihoon’s ours forever.”

“One minute,” Jihoon said and Daniel nodded before closing the door, giving the three friends their moment.

“Promise me you’re not going to get another best friend when I’m not around,” Jihoon said.

“Yeah, yeah. Now get going, I can see how you’re itching to get away from us and into your boyfriend’s arms,” Daehwi said and finally let Jihoon go. “Also, Seongwoo hyung told me to tell you guys to practice safe s-“

“Okay! Bye Daehwi! Bye Jinyoung!” Jihoon sputtered and left before Daehwi could complete his sentence. He stumbled on his way out, still flustered at Daehwi.

A pair of hands quickly reached out to steady Jihoon. “Whoa, be careful. Can’t have you getting hurt even before we go home.”

“Thank you,” Jihoon smiled as Daniel helped him to stand up properly again. “Shall we get going?”

Daniel’s smile was as radiant as the sun. “I was born ready.”

-

Jihoon wasn’t the least bit surprised when his mother rushed out of their house to help Daniel with his luggage first. They were practically the best of friends now. She had somehow found out that Daniel’s favourite food was steak, and had specially requested her teacher in her cooking class taught them how to cook steak a few weeks ago.

“Um… some help here?” Jihoon asked as he struggled with his heavy luggage. Daniel had long forgotten about him, and was happily chatting with his mother about some food café Daniel had recommended to his mother about a week ago on Kakao Talk.

Kakao. Fucking. Talk. Jihoon’s mother hated new technology and had refused to learn how to use an handphone before, yet she was texting Daniel more than Jihoon was.

“Oops,” Daniel smiled, embarrassed when he realised that Jihoon was lagging behind them. “Here, I’ll carry that for you.”

“If I knew I was going to be left out I would have invited Seongwoo hyung along too,” Jihoon joked. It was a good feeling. No, it felt amazing that Daniel got along so well with his mother. It made him proud that they were like best friends.

“Don’t say that,” Daniel sulked. “I’m just trying to get in your mother’s good books so that I can marry you.”

“Good books?” Jihoon couldn’t believe his ears. “She would probably let you inherit her house and fortunes even if we didn’t get married.”

“Daniel, Jihoon, get in here! I’ve cooked steak for both you hungry boys!” Jihoon’s mother called out from inside the house.

This holiday was going to be more emotionally draining than Jihoon had thought.

-

“What should we do?” Daniel asked when Jihoon’s mother had forced them out of the house to do some ‘outdoor activities’ after lunch. If Jihoon had to be perfectly honest with himself, all he wanted to do after the feast his mother had cooked up for them (read: Daniel) was to sleep.

“Whatever you want to do,” Jihoon answered.

“Just doing this is nice,” Daniel admitted. “Holding your hand and walking down the street, I mean.”

Jihoon had to agree. There was nothing special about a couple holding hands when they were in public, but the way Daniel held his always sent sparks flying in his heart. It was almost dreamlike, that Jihoon was Daniel’s, and Daniel was his.

“I could do this forever,” Jihoon said. Suddenly, he saw someone walking towards them that made Jihoon want to turn back and walk in the opposite direction.

“Jihoon!” the boy called out and waved to Jihoon and Jihoon cringed as he made eye contact with his former classmate, or high school acquaintance, as Jihoon would have liked to call him. 

It was the one and only Kim Sanggyun. Also known as: someone Jihoon would like to avoid for the rest of his life. They weren’t enemies, Jihoon just never liked the vibe he exuded.

“Hey, Sanggyun,” Jihoon said meekly. Sanggyun had noticed Jihoon and Daniel’s intertwined hands and was looking at them strange. “Uh... this is Daniel, my boyfriend.”

Sanggyun simply nodded as an acknowledgement to Daniel and Daniel smiled back. 

“How are you? Still not talking to anyone in your class? Still eating lunch alone?” Sanggyun asked, and although he had an innocent smile plastered on his face, Jihoon could tell there was a slight mocking tone beneath his pretence.

Jihoon gripped tighter onto Daniel’s hand. “I’m doing really well. People in my class are nice – for once.”

If Sanggyun had noticed Jihoon’s sarcastic tone, he showed no sign of acknowledgement. 

“Did you break up with Guanlin recently? I saw him with a boy at a café this morning, he was probably younger than you. It’s too bad, you guys were so in love. I genuinely thought you guys were cute.”

Not only was Sanggyun trying to play with Jihoon, he was provoking Daniel as well. Jihoon felt Daniel tense up, but he said nothing and continued to hold Jihoon’s hand.

“We broke up a long time ago. He can do whatever he wants with his life,” Jihoon said, trying to keep his cool.

“I don’t know,” Sanggyun was grinning now, knowing how annoyed Jihoon was feeling. “You guys were all up in our faces about being a couple. I’d thought Guanlin was shy, but he would give you kisses on your lips every morning, and he would hold you like you were some kind of prize-“

“If you’ll excuse us,” Daniel growled, “We have a movie to catch. And we’ll be going now.”

Daniel pulled Jihoon away before Sanggyun could get another word in. Jihoon was too shocked to protest, hearing Sanggyun talk about Guanlin and him in front of Daniel like that made him too angry to even say anything.

Once they were out of sight, Daniel slowed down. 

Jihoon bit on his lower lip, as much as he wanted to think what Sanggyun said didn’t get to his head, he was afraid that the air between him and Daniel hadn’t turned chilly.

“Daniel,” Jihoon finally said. “Wait.”

Daniel turned to look at Jihoon. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon said. “That Sanggyun talked like that in front of you. It was disrespectful of him. I wanted to stop him, I was just so… Anyway, I’m sorry for putting you though that.”

Daniel didn’t smile like Jihoon had expected him to. All he did was say, “Jihoon. You’re my boyfriend now, right? You aren’t caught up in the past?”

“Of course, you know how much I love you, I’ve never once thought about-“

“Then that’s enough,” Daniel grinned and hugged Jihoon tightly. “I don’t care what others say. As long as I have you, I won’t listen to anyone else.”

Jihoon knew Daniel was right. There was no reason to doubt Daniel and their relationship. He knew that his feelings for Daniel were genuine and Daniel had been nothing but sincere about his feelings as well.

“Okay,” Jihoon replied. “Shall we go and catch that movie we’re running late for?”

-

The cinema was fully booked for all the other movies except ‘The Conjuring’, much to Daniel’s and Jihoon’s dismay. Jihoon was not in the mood to freak himself out and suggested going to the nearby arcade to spend their time instead. 

“No, we’re already here,” Daniel insisted and forced Jihoon into the queue with him.

“You hate horror movies,” Jihoon protested, recalling how scared Daniel had gotten a few months before when their school had organised a horror movie night. Daniel had practically used Jihoon as a human shield whenever something scary appeared on the screen. 

“I do,” Daniel said. “But I think it’ll be worth it when you ask me to sleep with you tonight because you’re too scared to sleep alone.”

“That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Jihoon argued, but it was too late. They were already at the counter and Daniel had already paid for their tickets before he could drag Daniel away and convince him how of a mistake this was.

-

One good thing about Daniel was that he was consistent. The bad thing was that he was consistent in using Jihoon as a human shield whenever there was a jump scare. He was also consistent in squeezing Jihoon’s hand so tightly that he was convinced Daniel had stopped his blood flow.

Daniel was also strangely consistent in his movie commentary.

“Why would you even go and check out the noise from the other room?” Daniel wailed as he hung onto Jihoon’s arm. 

“This is a horror movie, it’s what people in horror movies do,” Jihoon said as he covered his eyes with his hands. 

“That’s not very smart of them!” Daniel screeched.

Someone in front of them turned around to shush Daniel, and Jihoon had to apologise for the fifth time for Daniel making too much noise. He was convinced the movie attendant would ask them to leave any moment.

“Hey,” Jihoon said and poked Daniel’s side when he didn’t respond.

Daniel yelped and turned to frown at Jihoon. “Don’t do that! You scared the living shit out of me!”

Jihoon held a finger to his mouth to tell Daniel to keep quiet. “Can’t we do something more interesting than watching people get chased by demons?”

That caught Daniel’s attention. Even in the dark, Jihoon could tell Daniel was grinning.

“Like what?” Daniel whispered.

“Well I suppose we could make out-“

Before Jihoon could complete his sentence with ‘quietly’, Daniel had already grabbed Jihoon’s face in his hands and started to (aggressively) make out with him. Jihoon prayed that they wouldn’t be louder than the spirits on the screen and no one would turn around to look. He also thanked his lucky stars that there wasn’t anyone sitting beside them.

“Daniel, wait-“ Jihoon protested as he broke away to take a breath.

“Shut up and let me kiss you,” was all Daniel said before their lips collided again.

-

When the lights turned on, Jihoon quickly pushed Daniel away before anyone could see what they had been doing for the past hour while everyone else was enjoying the movie.

“Holy shit,” Daniel laughed when he looked at Jihoon.

“What?” Jihoon replied.

“You look like a mess,” Daniel giggled as he brushed away the hair from Jihoon’s face. Another couple walked past them to the exit and shot them dirty looks. Acting innocent was not enough of a cover up, Jihoon discovered.

“I’m going to the toilet,” Jihoon sputtered. “Do I look really bad?”

“No, you look cute,” Daniel assured, but laughed again.

“That means I look like shit,” Jihoon concluded. “Come on, let’s go before anyone else sees us.”

-

“KANG DANIEL!” Jihoon yelled when he finally got a good look at himself in the toilet mirror. The man washing his hands next to Jihoon got a shock, and glared at Jihoon. Daniel peeked in, obviously embarrassed.

“You fucking animal,” Jihoon snapped when the man had walked out and he was alone with Daniel in the toilet. “Fuck. I said let’s make out not make me look like a mess.”

Jihoon was, indeed, a mess. His hair was messy, with some strands sticking out at random angles. His shirt was crumpled and untucked from his jeans. Worst of all, his lips were swollen like he had just gotten stung by a swarm of angry bees.

“I think you look cute,” Daniel assured as Jihoon tried to make himself look as normal as possible. “Plus, you were the one who gave me the green light.”

When he saw Jihoon trying to straighten his shirt, but to no avail, Daniel said, “You’re overreacting. But if you’re so concerned about your shirt, you can borrow my hoodie.”

Jihoon glared at Daniel, “I didn’t give you the green light to attack me,” then he paused. “But I’ll take you up on that hoodie offer.”

Jihoon would never admit it to Daniel, but he had this secret stupid fantasy about wanting to wear his hoodies. 

Daniel looked flustered when Jihoon agreed on his offer and Jihoon guessed he had blurted out without thinking to make it up to him.

“But I’m cold,” Daniel whined. 

“And you already offered. And I said yes,” Jihoon crossed his arms. “You need to make up for making me look like this.”

Daniel grumbled to himself before giving in and taking off his hoodie ang grudgingly handed it to Jihoon, who was waiting with his two hands outstretched.

“It’s so comfortable,” Jihoon gushed when he put it on. The sleeves were longer than his arms, and he probably looked ridiculous in such a large hoodie, but he didn’t care.

Daniel didn’t stop sulking even after they left the cinema, “Well, it’s my favourite. And I’m going to need it back.”

“No,” Jihoon protested. “It’s mine forever.”

“You can’t take it! I need it to have a good sleep every night,” Daniel retorted. “I’m taking it back when we get back home.”

“Daniel,” Jihoon cooed as he hugged Daniel’s waist. “Don’t you love me?”

“I do,” Daniel said, then his eyes grew big when he realised what Jihoon was trying to do. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to gift my favourite hoodie to you.”

“Please,” Jihoon said, not letting go. “Don’t I look cute in it?”

“No, not one bit,” Daniel argued. 

“I hate you,” Jihoon said. “I can’t believe you chose your hoodie over me, your wonderful boyfriend.”

“That’s not what I said!” Daniel yelled. “Okay, fine. Have it. You look cuter in it anyway.”

Jihoon grinned at his small victory, and replied, “Okay, I love you again.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe I’m in love with a scammer.”

-

Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh at Daniel’s reaction when he stole fries off his tray for the third time. He was just in that mood where he wanted to tease his boyfriend to no end.

“Park Jihoon,” Daniel lowered his voice. “I might love you but that doesn’t mean you can steal fries off my tray, that’s daylight robbery. I feel taken advantage of, apologise.”

“It’s just fries,” Jihoon said and stole another fry when Daniel wasn’t looking.

“The same ‘it’s just fries’! is on your plate too!” Daniel yelled, pointing at the tower of fries Jihoon was saving for later. The family at the next table turned to them and laughed. 

“This won’t do,” Daniel said, “Then I can have this too.” 

Daniel grabbed a nugget from Jihoon’s tray before Jihoon could slap his hand away. Jihoon was fuming, and wasn’t aware of anyone else in the room.

“Kang Daniel! That’s different. You have like, fifty fries on your plate and I took four. I only have six chicken nuggets and you took one! I’m going to starve until you say sorry,” Jihoon said as he took another fry off Daniel’s tray.

“First of all, you took half of my fries. And if you want, you can try taking some of my burger,” Daniel grinned obnoxiously and stole another nugget off Jihoon’s tray. 

This. Meant. War.

“That’s so unfair! It’s not easy to take a part of your burger,” Jihoon snapped.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have gotten nuggets,” Daniel smiled. “Or started being a thief in the first place.”

“I’m not a thief!” Jihoon said and grabbed a bunch of fries off Daniel’s tray. Some customers were starting to look concerned that they would start throwing punches at each other over fries and nuggets.

This time, Daniel caught Jihoon and grabbed his arm. “I’m about to angry make out with you in the middle of fucking McDonalds. And this time I won’t give you any of my hoodies.”

“Fine,” Jihoon said and returned the fries he had stolen. “Thief.”

-

By the time Jihoon was satisfied with how much he had teased Daniel, it was night time. They had found a secluded spot on a hill where they could watch the new year’s fireworks at midnight.

“I wonder what they’re doing back at school,” Daniel said as he played with Jihoon’s hair. Jihoon was lying down in his lap, and was feeling comfortable in Daniel’s hoodie (it was his now).

“Honestly?” Jihoon asked. “Getting wasted. Paying beer pong. Jisung hyung is kissing my idol, which is still weird to me. Daehwi is partying hard, Jinyoung is trying to stop him.”

Jihoon could see it happening in front of him, as if he was at the party instead of in Daniel’s lap, three hours away. Daniel laughed, and Jihoon knew Daniel could see it too.

“This is different,” Daniel said. “By this time, I would be fast asleep on someone’s bed after drinking too much.”

Jihoon didn’t know how to reply. Before meeting Daniel, New Year’s Day never meant much to him. It was just another holiday for him to spend in his room reading or writing stories. It was crazy how much his life had changed in just a year. And this wasn’t just about Daniel – he felt freer, more like himself.

“This reminds me of the time I saw the fireworks on my own,” Jihoon said. The fireworks were beautiful that day, but he had a feeling they wouldn’t be able to beat the ones about to be shown.

“Yeah, I was so into you then,” Daniel sighed.

“And you’re not now?” Jihoon pouted.

“I fall deeper in love with you every day. Is that even possible?” Daniel wondered aloud.

Jihoon didn’t reply him. It was fully possible, because Jihoon felt the same way too.

“I think the fireworks are starting soon. We have two minutes to go to the new year,” Daniel said and Jihoon sat up and laid his head on Daniel’s shoulders instead. 

“Thank you for always being there for me,” Jihoon said, holding Daniel’s hand in his.

“I’m more thankful,” Daniel squeezed Jihoon’s hand.

There were too many things Jihoon wanted to thank Daniel for. For supporting him in whatever he did, for always standing on his side, and for chasing after him. For loving him. In just a year, Daniel had managed to show Jihoon how beautiful life could be.

Jihoon felt Daniel’s arm wrap around his waist as the crowd below them started to count down the last few seconds to the new year.

“5… 4… 3…”

When Jihoon felt that his entire world had crumbled, Daniel promised him a better one.

“2…”

And Jihoon knew Daniel would continue to keep giving. 

“1!”

Jihoon took a proper look at the boy that managed to steal his heart. Daniel had not changed, he still had the same messy, un-styled hair that Jihoon loved running his fingers through. His two front teeth still stuck out when he tried to hide his smile. 

“Happy New Year, Park Jihoon,” Daniel said as he kissed Jihoon lightly on his lips.

“Here’s to many more,” Jihoon replied and tip-toed to kiss him back.

Jihoon never made empty promises. Daniel was someone he would never be able to give up for anything. And it would continue to stay like that for many years more.

**(Daniel)**

Jihoon’s mother was asleep when Jihoon and Daniel got back home, and they tip-toed their way through the hallway and into Jihoon’s room, where Jihoon’s mother had laid out a mattress for him on the floor.

“Guess you’re sleeping on the floor today, sorry,” Daniel said as he ran past Jihoon and jumped onto Jihoon’s bed.

“It wouldn’t be impossible, that my mother expected me to sleep on the floor,” Jihoon said.

Jihoon wasn’t far from the truth. Daniel had started out trying to please Jihoon’s mother just because, well, he was trying to marry her son. After getting to know her better, Daniel didn’t even need to try to be nice to Jihoon’s mother anymore. She provided Daniel with what he thought was known as ‘a mother’s love’.

“I’m kidding,” Daniel laughed. “Go and wash up. It’s late and you should get to sleep soon.”

“You can go ahead,” Jihoon said.

“Wanna come in with me?” Daniel teased and Jihoon quickly reacted by throwing a pillow at him.

-

When they had both washed up, Jihoon had turned off the lights and told Daniel to go to sleep, much to Daniel’s disappointment.

Daniel lay in his mattress, his heart still beating from the excitement of being in Jihoon’s hometown. It was like Jihoon had whole-heartedly accepted Daniel into his world. 

“Daniel? Are you sleeping?” Jihoon’s voice echoed throughout the room.

“Why?” Daniel replied. “You can’t sleep either?”

“I don’t know, I’m just thinking.” Jihoon said.

“About what?”

“A lot of things.”

“Are you still scared from the horror movie?” Daniel teased.

“In case you didn’t remember, you attacked me like a wild beast for more than half the movie and I couldn’t even watch the movie in peace, so, no. I’m not scared. But I kind of want you to come here and lie down with me even though I’m not scared but I’m going to pretend to be because I want you beside me-“

It didn’t take Daniel even a second to react and he quickly climbed onto Jihoon’s bed and threw the covers over them.

“Oh,” was all Jihoon said. “Okay, you’re here.”

“I’m here,” Daniel replied and wrapped one arm around Jihoon’s waist. Even in the dark, Daniel could see how bright Jihoon’s eyes glistened. They lay in silence for a moment before Daniel started to talk.

“Have you ever thought about where you would be if you didn’t come to Wanna Be College?”

“Of course,” Jihoon replied almost immediately. “It scares me, to know that I could have missed out on you so easily.”

Daniel gulped. “It scares me too. Like, I know you’re the person I want to spend my entire life with, but I’m just scared because I might not live up to the person you think I am.”

Maybe Daniel was groggy from the lack of sleep, or it was the proximity between Jihoon and him under the covers but he just felt like letting his insecurities to be known to Jihoon.

“Daniel,” Jihoon whispered as he caressed Daniel’s face. “I know what you mean. The world is so scary to me, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. But we just have to believe in each other, okay?”

Daniel nodded, but wasn’t convinced. He feared many things, like if he couldn’t properly take care of Jihoon in the future. Or if something happened and the two of them would separate. It was so common these days, for couples to break up after swearing to spend their entire lives with each other. Daniel never wanted Jihoon and him to go through that.

“You’re letting your mind go to dark places again,” Jihoon said when he noticed that Daniel was keeping silent. 

“You’re right,” Daniel admitted. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t let these thoughts get to me.”

“Don’t apologise,” Jihoon said. “I know how that feels.”

“It’s impossible for it to be smooth sailing for us the whole way. But I know I can’t live without you, so I’m going to try my best to be understanding. Even though I can be a brat sometimes,” Jihoon confessed. 

With Jihoon’s confession, Daniel felt the burden in his chest lighten and his insecurities fade away.

“Okay,” Daniel said as he kissed Jihoon’s cheek. “I changed my mind. You can keep my hoodie.”

“You mean you didn’t mean it when you said I could keep it just now?” Jihoon sounded offended.

“I said it when I was mad. Number one rule, never say things we don’t mean when we’re mad at each other,” Daniel said, now playing with Jihoon’s hair again.

Jihoon laughed, and Daniel felt his heart swell with fondness for this bratty boy who snapped at him for trying to help on the first day of school. He was glad the old him had courage to chase after what his heard desired so badly for.

“Rule number two,” Jihoon offered. “Is that I have every right to steal your hoodies without you glaring at me like you want to eat my firstborn.”

“Rule number three,” Daniel continued. “Is that the only condition I have is for you to promise to marry me.”

“What does marriage have to do with sharing hoodies?” Jihoon asked.

“Sorry,” Daniel replied. “I don’t make the rules.”

“By the way, was that your second attempt at proposing to me? It was a really shitty attempt, and this is the second time I’m rejecting you. Come back when you think of something better,” Jihoon said and rolled over, his back now facing Daniel.

Daniel reached out to tickle Jihoon’s tummy, and grinned when Jihoon squirmed around, unable to escape from his strong grip.

“Stop,” Jihoon said when he was out of breath. “Go to sleep.”

“Alright,” Daniel replied, knowing they had a busy day ahead tomorrow. “Give me a goodnight kiss.”

Suddenly, Daniel couldn’t breathe. Firstly, it was because Jihoon was on top of him and cupping his face in his hands – and god damn, he looked so beautiful like that, Daniel wanted more than anything to kiss him and never stop. Secondly, it was because Jihoon was sitting on him, and he literally couldn’t breathe.

“Okay, you’re so fucking cute but could you please not kill me by blocking my air passages?” Daniel groaned.

“Oops, I’m sorry,” Jihoon quickly apologised and tried to get off Daniel, obviously embarrassed at his attempt.

“No, don’t move,” Daniel changed his mind immediately and grinned even though Jihoon couldn’t see his face clearly in the dark. “I’ll live. Now do whatever you wanted to do.”

“Don’t let your mind go to places, I just wanted to kiss you goodnight,” Jihoon clarified and leaned in to kiss Daniel on his lips.

“Goodnight,” Jihoon said and returned to his place on the bed.

“Goodnight, baby,” Daniel whispered when he made sure Jihoon had fallen asleep, the moonlight reflecting on his face through the window. And he looked so, so beautiful like that.

There were many things Daniel had thought he wanted in life. Good grades, for sure. A loving family, which he didn’t have from before but did now. Maybe he wanted a secure job too, in the future. But there was no point in worrying about that now.

Tonight, Daniel was absolutely positive about what he wanted in life. For Park Jihoon’s face to be the first thing he would see every morning, and the last thing he saw before he went to sleep every night.

After sweeping Jihoon’s hair away from his eyes, Daniel felt his smile unconsciously appear on his face again. Jihoon was right, the world was scary and their journey would not be smooth-sailing. 

But they could take their baby steps. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 25 chapters, 84k words, and a happy ending!
> 
> congratulations, you've made it to the end :)
> 
> thank you for showering me with all the overflowing love and support since day 1, please know it has motivated me and cheered me up on my worst days, i can only hope i repayed all your kindness with this story.
> 
> this story will always hold a special place in my heart because it's the first ever chaptered fic i've completed. 
> 
> i will continue writing other stories, so please stay with me!
> 
> lastly, don't be afraid to spread your wings and show the world who you are! the outside world is scary, but you can take your baby steps. 
> 
> love, bapaldeul <3


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